How to accept that this will be a life-long effort?

noobletmcnugget

I'm a couple of months into maintenance at the moment. I maintain on 1600 cals/day + a couple of hundred exercise calories usually.

I'm finding it quite hard to come to terms with the fact that if I don't want to regain I'm going to have to be really vigilant about food for the rest of my life.

I haven't cut any foods out and find ways to fit in the foods I want to eat. But it's just tiring always eating restrained amounts (my default mode is to eat loads and loads lol). Plus I'm tired of worrying about going over or feeling guilty about going over (inevitable occasionally).

Anyone else found it hard to accept this has to be a life-long commitment? If so, how've you dealt with it?

cmriverside

I've been at a maintenance weight for many years. I still over eat on occasion. I still eat full pints of Ben and Jerry's, or a whole bag of popcorn - or whatever...an entire pizza in two sittings.

The thing is I don't do it every day or even every week. I step on the scale twice a week. Small adjustments keep me at maintenance. It is more about over coming that all-or-nothing attitude for me. I can still enjoy life, have the occasional meal out, but mostly I stay on plan and eat healthy meals at home that I have prepared and make sure I'm eating lots of vegetables and lean protein. They are more satisfying and tasty than eating out anyway.

mmerry5

I know exactly how you feel and my calorie goals are even less thanks to my being short. I was a faithful MFP user for quite a long time. I did great at losing and maintained for over a year. Then about a year ago decided to try not logging. I gained a bit back and am now trying to lose a few again. I am resigned to the fact that to maintain I will need to log to make myself accountable.

What I do like to do though, is bank calories during the work week. I eat lighter to save up for more calories on the weekend. That seems to help me a lot. I will also skip breakfast on some weekend days if I know I'm going out to dinner and will want to eat a larger, more calorie dense meal.

Another thing I will sometimes do when going out to dinner is to ask for a box first thing. I will put a portion of my meal in the box even before I begin eating. It makes it easier to only eat what's left on my plate. I'm much less tempted to over eat that way.

Packerjohn

Good health feels alot better than a few extra bites of whatever tastes.

Best of luck.

snowflake954

What's the alternative? Gain it all back? No thanks--better to be careful.

2011rocket3touring

I made my peace with that be realizing people live without eyesight, hearing, limbs chronic pain etc. Me having to keep track of what I eat is mild by comparison.
In short I'm adulting and it sucks.

Xymheia

I never had to deal with having to lose more weight than 5-10 lbs to get fit from mid BMI, but I think most people who maintain their weight ration their food on a certain level, some more consciously than others. It should probably get easier over time as you get used to portioning and your body adjusts to how much and when you eat, which can take some time. 1600 + exercise calories is quite normal, depending on your height. I personally always weigh my food and ration that which I can't so I don't have left overs, it also means that I can't overeat unless I eat out which is rare and I don't really like fastfood, so most is cooked from scratch. I also balance days of eating more with days of eating less and it works quite well.

If I either have to restrict my intake to lose a bit or find myself eating too little I remind myself that maintaining a fit weight and eating nutritious food in adequate quantities helps prevent diseases and keeps energy up. For exercise it's usually being done with poor stamina and lack of energy.

JeromeBarry1

I am close to my goal of getting my weight to the middle of the Healthy BMI for my gender and height. Quite randomly, I had a very high calorie binge a week ago on Sunday. I *hate* having to lose the same pound twice, but lose it I proceeded to do by staying in a calorie deficit every day in the manner to which I have become accustomed in the past 16 months. It took 7 full days to lose all the water and fat and muscle, if any, gained on that one day. If nothing else, I'm learning that maintenance is going to be nearly indistinguishable from the last 10 pounds.

Spliner1969

noobletmcnugget wrote: »

Anyone else found it hard to accept this has to be a life-long commitment? If so, how've you dealt with it?

It is definitely a hard pill to swallow. I'm not doing quite as much now as I was (exercise) during my weight loss phase but I'm still doing much more than I know I can sustain long term. What I did was use maintenance to build muscle. The more muscle you have, the more calories it takes to maintain your body. In maintenance, you can increase calories by increasing exercise, and I suggest some of that be weight training (if not with weights, body weight will suffice) so that you can start to build some muscle. It'll be slow, and if you want to gain faster you'll probably need to go through periods of surplus calories as well. Right now I've been probably 100-250 surplus calories off and on since November. I use my diary to log up to my maintenance level with exercise, then I allow myself to go a bit over as a snack or whatever when I want. The result has been some muscle gain (a bit more than I was able to gain in maintenance alone). But at the end of this month I intend to cut about 200 calories a day for a couple of months to reduce a bit of body fat (about 5% that I've gained since Nov.). It's not much of a "bulk" but it has been somewhat successful.

When I was losing weight I worked out 6 days a week 90 minutes a day or more. Once I hit maintenance completely (I slowly worked up to it over a period of about 3 months) I dropped to 5 days a week 90 minutes a day and adjusted my calories. Now, I fluctuate between 5 days a week and the occasional 4 days a week for 90 minutes of exercise. I intend, at the end of the fall to go completely to 4 days a week of exercise and then over the winter maybe move down to 60 minutes a day from 90. That, I think, I could maintain long term. Hopefully by then I'll have built enough muscle that the caloric difference won't be huge as long as I keep a fair mix of cardio and strength training going.

So far my plan has worked, I've stayed within +/- 10 lbs of my original goal, and managed to stay in the normal BMI range but I'm now pushing the upper limits. June 1 I'll have to be diligent and get used to cutting a few cals out of my daily routine but I think I can easily do that with some food substitutions rather than less quantity. One thing I did learn over the last few years, was to like a lot of less calorie dense foods, and it's helped to keep me satiated.

lizmcvey

I totally hear you. I don't have much to offer here other than knowing the feeling. I lost a bulk of my weight three years ago and then maintained/lost about 10 more pounds since then. In the last few months I've gotten too lax about logging (marathon training will do that). This is the first marathon where I've seen the gain they warn about. I'm up about 10 pounds and its freaking miserable! I'm getting back to logging the way I used to and I know that getting back to the basics for awhile will put me back to where I want to be but it's frustrating. I've got a wedding dress to fit into, that's all the motivation I need.

nichell88

I think the longer you are in maintenance, the more it will become second nature. At one point, it will almost be like muscle memory; your body will remember how it feels to be fueled effectively and efficiently. You'll have a general idea about serving sizes and caloric intake, and you won't have to count calories and macros as fastidiously as you do now. I feel like you can relax into it. At least I hope that's the case, as I transition into maintenance tomorrow. But that's what I keep telling myself

lorrpb

I came to grips to this before I walked into my trainers studio 3 years ago. Thin fit people watch what they eat, so that's how they stay that way. I don't want to go back to where I was, so I must accept it. I can either manage my weight of manage the diseases that result from​ being overweight. As @JeromeBarry1 said, for me maintenance eating is indistinguishable​ from the last 10 lbs.

girlgroves

I completely know the feeling. Quite early on in my maintenance (I'm coming up to a year next month) I got quite upset when I realised that it was not going to be as easy as I'd hoped. I've made all the lifestyle changes and they're easy habits now, but that doesn't mean that I don't need to be constantly vigilant. It's tiring sometimes, even stressful at some points.
I've done OK (+/-3lbs) so far, but have recently found that I am not able to successfully maintain within that range without logging all my calories. Someone once told me that if it's something I have to do then it's something I have to do. I don't have to like it, I just have to do it. The benefits outweigh the consequences. For me maintenance simply comes down to a series of mini-diets, Mon-Fri, which allow me a more relaxed weekend. Discipline is a choice between what you want now and what you want most.

Ironandwine69

If by "this" you mean watch what you eat and exercise, no. I don't have a problem with it. It's a lifestyle, just like brushing my teeth.
If you mean counting every calorie that goes in and out my body, yes that would drive me crazy. Counting is just a tool you can use. Not the only way. You can take what you learn from it and try to maintain without it. It's not true that you gain everything back if you stop counting. You gain everything back if you stop the mindset. Nobody woke up and had gained 30lbs back. Watch what you eat, exercise, step on the scale once a week, make small changes based on that if necessary. The max you can gain in a week is a few pounds, if that happens, step back on food a little bit. And so on.

LisaEatSleepRun

noobletmcnugget wrote: »

Anyone else found it hard to accept this has to be a life-long commitment? If so, how've you dealt with it?

Great question! I am approaching it in a similar way to when I quit drinking & smoking (10 years ago). I am a better, healthier, happier person without alcohol & cigarettes. I am a better, healthier, happier person without the 30 kg's I was carrying, the insulin resistance, fatty liver and poor overall physical & mental health. I may not love getting out of bed to run five mornings a week, however, the benefits far outweigh my short term discomfort. I want to feel this good for the rest of my life. If i run far (e.g. half marathon distance) some weekends, it allows me to eat more, which I feel I have earned!
I honestly think it's fantastic to ask these types of questions, it shows great insight and will likely keep you on the healthy path you are obviously on, even with the normal hiccups & slight deviations along the way.

sijomial

Give yourself time - you may well find after a while you don't need to be "really vigilant".

I don't log my food and haven't for ages. I'm what I would call vaguely calorie aware and monitor my weight trends but that's all.
Feeling guilty about the perfectly occasional natural high days isn't great, you're looking for a long term balance, not every day precision.


PS - I did log one day recently to work out my fuelling for a big cycle ride and food logging felt really strange! What is new becomes normal over time, what was once normal now feels alien.

LivingtheLeanDream

You have summed maintenance up well! but the great news is eventually it becomes the norm to know how much/what to eat. For me lasting good habits have been formed - Keeping active and fuelling the body as necessary.

I'm in maintenance 4 years and I can truly say the last two years perhaps even a bit more than that it has been effortless. I don't even need to log my meals. I've also cut way back on the amount of cardio (joint issues) I'm doing and am still finding all is ok - moving less equals needing less food.

amusedmonkey

I'm not at maintenance yet, but I'm always and constantly thinking about it with every step I take. Given the sheer amount of weight I have to lose and how long it's taking me to lose it, regain is not an option if I can help it. I stomped my metaphorical feet at the notion for a while, then went into a "it is what it is" mode. It's not fair that I will have to eat nearly half of what I was used to eating and keep a leash on it for life, but what's the alternative? It is what it is and the sooner you come to terms with it the sooner you will be able to move on. Easier said than done, I know, but dwelling on it feels worse than accepting that life is unfair, and expecting perfection every day feels worse than cutting yourself some slack and not obsessing. It comes with time.

Francl27

I started losing weight knowing very well that it would have to be a lifelong commitment. I had no interest in yoyo dieting (I got horrible stretch marks when I lost weight and gained it back in my early 20s), so I wanted to be ready to really do it before even starting... which I guess is why it took me 15 years to actually do it.

I'm guessing most people who lose weight are not actually ready for that commitment though, which is why they gain the weight back. And I'm probably a bit of a hypocrite because I WAS ready but it's still extremely hard to stay vigilant, 3 years later. Honestly for me the only way I'm not gaining the weight back is by staying very active. I probably eat the same amount of calories than when I was 205 lbs, to be honest... it's just that with my activity my TDEE is the same. It just takes a lot of exercise to make up for a 75 lbs and 5 years difference. Being active really isn't a problem for me though, I'd rather go for a walk than stay on the couch most days. I just really LOVE food.

And yeah, I still eat too much at least twice a week. I just keep a permanent deficit so at least on my good days I get to 'save' calories for the bad ones... I've still gained back a few pounds in the last 3 years. It's hard.

TimothyFish

Relax. You don't have to be as "vigilant" as you all that. As long as you are going way over on meals, close is good enough if you weigh yourself weekly and go back into tracking your calories when you get outside your ideal weight range.

As for eating "loads and loads": I do that all the time even though I am maintaining my weight. If you are exercising at the levels that are recommended for your health (about seven hours per week) you can eat quite a bit more than if you aren't.

dontgobacktosleep

I find keeping the mentality that I'm focusing on nutrition and training, vs. diet and exercise to be really helpful. Plus going b@tsh!t crazy because you missed a workout is a large motivation for me :P Any sports on your some-day-maybe bucket list?

The_Enginerd

Being cognizant of your intake and limiting your intake is hard.
Being obese is hard.

Choose your hard.

I've found after years at maintenance, it's easier as the habits are more ingrained and I'm more used to the portions. But it's still something that takes some effort.

I still have some big eating days, like the holidays. But life is meant to be enjoyed, and as long as you aren't making those a regular thing, you can fit in days like that. Consistency, not perfection. This has kept me maintaining my weight for 6+ years at this point.

JenHuedy

It sucks. I know that feeling very well. But then I remind myself that if my biggest problem in life is too much food, then I'm much better off than a significant portion of the world.

jupiterjazzes

You don't have to "accept" anything. Either do it or don't.

You just have to decide what you want.
If you don't want to do it, then don't.

No excuses.

CSARdiver

This knowledge has had the opposite impact on my perception of calorie tracking. I would consider people foolish if they didn't balance their checkbook and periodically review their finances. There is nothing intuitive to weight management. The advent of smartphones and sites such as MFP an easy activity. This is simple risk management and an easy trade off.

runningforthetrain

The cost/work of logging and maintaining is well rewarded by how I feel-- walking lighter, fitting into clothes nicer, being able to do yoga. When I get bummed out about all the effort-- I bring my thoughts back to the rewards!

TheChaoticBuffalo

jupiterjazzes wrote: »

You don't have to "accept" anything. Either do it or don't.

You just have to decide what you want.
If you don't want to do it, then don't.

No excuses.

lookatthatlady1

I know how you're feeling! I'm a sahm to a very active four year old. I feel like alls I think about is food considering I don't have much going on besides taking care of my son and the house. Not to mention I have Lupus and was injuried in a car accident last September so excercise isn't really an option for me. I solely relay on counting calories. I've been successful at maintaining for almost a year and a half but have found it very difficult on a day to day basis. I watch my husband eat cups of ice cream and order a big Mac and sometimes it depresses me. I have a totally different relationship with food now. I do eat either a candy bar or a half cup of ice cream everyday and can honestly say I haven't gained from that at all. But knowing I have to be this strict on dieting for the rest of my life really is a hard thing to grasp. But it's better than being over weight I guess.

DonM46

I've been on maintenance for almost 6 years. I still log every day, but estimating is good enough now, so my diary is pretty loose, but obviously 'ballpark' close. After a while, a guess becomes pretty accurate, and I don't go into cardiac arrest if I'm over my calorie budget.
I still step on the scale every time I walk by, but just record the results once a week ... an average of several figures. This avoids daily fluctuations of a couple of pounds so my graph is flatter & just shows a trend.
Make a game of logging and weighing. Don't make it a painful chore. Taking just a few seconds to make entries while you are on hold or waiting for a large file to download or while sitting in the waiting room for an appointment will reduce the stress of entering numbers AND the time will pass faster!

krushal8880

For me, I decided a little over 3 years ago and this is the best I felt in a long time. :)The reward outweighs the daily logging, because I have a lot more energy. I'm ok with this being a life long journey because life is a lot better for me when I'm healthier. Feel free to add me if you like and it's helpful to have MFP friends to push you through your bad days. Good Luck and stay positive!!

TheChaoticBuffalo

Make the commitment be to something that helped you get to the point you now are, but that you enjoyed - or even loved - doing. For me, that's rowing. I started it as one part of my exercise program to help with the weight loss and discovered that I still love the rowing experience as much as I did my freshman year of college. So, now I'm a rower, complete with online logbook, personal goals, online community teams and challenges, and so forth. It's something I'll do as long as I physically can, and it's something that will help me achieve and maintain my desired weight. It'll also keep me tracking my calories after I reach goal weight in order to keep my rowing performance at it's peak.