Coming back "home"

Gerkenstein

I joined MFP back in 2009 or 2010. It was amazing and life changing. I tracked everything I ate, made wonderful friends who I still meet with occasionally, and lost about 40-45lbs...something I had never done before (or since).

In 2011 my dad suddenly died and threw my entire world upside down. I didn't care about what I ate or if I just laid on the couch all day. I lost all motivation for being healthy despite the fact that my dad died because he didn't take care of himself. The first year after he died, I really struggled and started to smoke casually with friends while drinking or hanging out. I was diagnosed with PTSD, did intense therapy for almost a year, and thought I was cured.

Now, I learned PTSD cannot be 100% cured because I'll always have triggers, I am a regular smoker now, and I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life, even before I first joined MFP. I'm ready to get my life back. Scratch that. I NEED to get my life back. And this time, I need to be #1 on my list. My health needs to be #1 on my list. I'm sick of waiting and yearning. I need to make things happen. So I'm back.

Any and all support and encouragement is welcome and appreciated!