Brain issue more the knowledge issue

mrsld

So I'm fully aware of what i should and shouldn't be eating but i can't seem to get my brain to work with me. I can talk myself out of anything!!
I can be really focussed and determined and then literally two minutes later i'll reach for something naughty to eat. How can i get my head in the right space????
Does anyone have any good books, podcasts? Therapy even. I have a bad relationship with food and often wonder if i should have some counselling.
I'm 6 stone over weight and only 34. I have 2 children and want so desperately to be fit and healthy for them and me but i seem to talk myself out of the motivation! How can i be so desperate to change yet unable to maintain any diet, healthy eating or exercise program??
I'm in the UK if that makes any difference.
Thanks in advance.

TavistockToad

Stop thinking of food as 'good' or 'bad'.

Eat things you like in the portion sizes that fit your calories.

Eat some fruit and veg.

Rebecca0224

Food is amoral, it's not good or bad it's fuel.

Most people who try to "be good" on a diet crash and lose motivation. You don't have to remove favorite foods from your life. Make small changes and focus on portion size and getting adequate protein.

RelCanonical

Popping in to say that I think everyone should try counseling at least once in their life, even if they think nothing's wrong. You don't have to be in a bad state to make yourself better, and for some people, counseling can really help them to become a better person or to meet their life goals.

CaladriaNapea

You might want to try pre-logging all your food for the day and plan specific treats throughout the day. If you have everything planned out and logged then you can tell yourself "well, in an hour I can have that cookie . . ." and that can help you to stick to the plan. Also, lots of water and other calorie-burned drinks (for me that's hot tea) can help me wait for that hour and still have something occupying my taste buds.

mrsld

Thanks all. I feel like i'm on a spiral of self distruct

longarmlou

When you reach for food, go for a walk instead. Take the kiddos and water bottles with you. They are never too young to start the walking/hiking/biking habit too.

jgnatca

I suggest reading Habit by Duhigg. I bet you will get a lot of insight why you habitually reach for the cookie jar.

Sunna_W

If you don't buy it you can't eat it! Seriously, the whole house needs to be eating the same food you are. Get the sweets and the boxed food out of your house!

Note: I do buy certain things for my husband (like oat bread, vanilla ice cream, one box of cookies) and these have to last him the week. If he eats them all - oh, well. You can very easily just say to everyone, "I guess we're out and I'll get more when I go to the store next time - here, have an apple, drink some water, etc..."

I look at this as not a "diet" per se with a beginning and an ending, but more of an incremental lifestyle change. That way, it's a journey and I can't fail unless I get off the road and park my butt someplace and don't move.

(Picture one of those cute camping trailers with a beach umbrella, a lawn chair, a cocktail table with a margarita on it, and a cutesy lawn ornament flamingo. If I am going to go off the trail, I am going to do it in style.)

For me, deprivation doesn't work.

So, my goal for this lifestyle change (eating plan) was to pick an eating plan that offered me the best results without the pain of deprivation.

One of the things I did was to consciously make the switch from how I was eating to a new way of eating. Because while I know that it's Calories In / Calories Out (CICO), I don't like being hungry / starving because it makes me cranky and I then obsess about all of the food out there that I am now not allowing myself to have.

I knew going in that based on CICO, that I burn calories just by being alive.

• If I eat as many as I burn I would be in stasis (and not lose).
• If I eat more than I burn I will gain weight.
• If I eat less than I burn I will lose weight except if I am in an extreme calorie deficit. Then my body goes into preservation mode and my metabolism might slow down and hold onto what I have b/c it thinks I am starving.

I knew from my own past experience that carbs and sugar are the devil. If I eat one sweet thing, then, I can't stop. I know that if I eat simple carbs (like bagels / white potatoes) my heart will race. If I eat complex carbs (like canned white beans) then I feel okay, but I don't really lose weight. I have restricted sugar and carbs before and knew that by restricting them, I am not craving them and I feel better.

The eating plan that does this for me is Paleo / Keto (low, low sugar/carbs and high protein/fat/fiber); my ratios are: (45% protein, 40% fat and 15% carbs/sugar).

See this website for a list of paleo websites:
http://paleoiq.com/best-paleo-diet-blogs/

I started by making incremental changes last November (one meal at a time), with the end goal being that I would hover around 1400 calories because as an older woman my skin doesn't bounce back as it did when I was younger. By losing the weight slowly, I have minimized the sagging skin.

It took several months of tweaking before I finally found my "sweet spot" in terms of balance between carbs and protein and (since November I have lost about 40 pounds). And... I am only complaint calorie wise about 75% - 80% of the time. I have some health issues and can't really exercise. Despite this and being tied to a desk all day, I have lost and continue to lose weight.

For me, eating low carb and low sugar all of the time some amazing things happened:

• I don't crave sugar (I have an entire box of Charms Wild Berry Blow Pops in my file drawer that I haven't touched since November because I don't crave sugar; I once measured my stress level by how many of them I consumed in one day);
• My moods are more even and I don't have blood sugar spikes and crashes;
• By consuming more healthy fats my joints don't hurt as much and I am more or less satiated on 1400 calories.

Also, sugar / sweets / carb carvings could be a sign of yeast / candida. So, it may not be you.
Ref: https://www.liverdoctor.com/is-a-candida-infection-driving-your-sugar-cravings/

I used Paleo Leap and Paleo Tribe for the recipe ideas (they have some great low calorie recipe options) but this isn't necessary. I do think preparing and eating food that I make as opposed to boxes or eating out has helped me a lot. Boxes say they are low carb (but they have lots of other additives in them to make them taste good.)

Have you ever been diagnosed with a thyroid disorder?
Ref: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-404724/The-hormone-makes-fat.html
https://stopthethyroidmadness.com/symptoms/

Most women suffer from advanced adrenal fatigue and adaptogenic herbs don't work. To rebuild your adrenals desiccated adrenal extracts are very helpful. (I was on prednisone, but was able to stop taking it.)

See these websites:
http://www.drnorthrup.com/adrenal-exhaustion/
https://www.yourhormones.com/signs-symptoms/
https://www.yourhormones.com/adrenal-fatigue/

IMO in the beginning, you should balance gentle cardio (like brisk walking) with strength training. With keto you burn stored fat because that's what you burn for energy.) Look at reducing unnecessary drama that makes you crazy.

Also, explore the term "estrogen dominance". Body fat makes you hold on to excess estrogen.
See these websites:

http://www.drnorthrup.com/estrogen-dominance/
https://www.womentowomen.com/hormonal-health/estrogen-dominance/
https://www.drlam.com/blog/estrogen-dominance-part-1/1704/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3251354/Could-natural-HRT-transform-life-No-woman-facing-menopause-miss-natural-way-end-hot-flushes.html

Are you using birth control with artificial hormones? they can drive a lot of this.

I got rid of all of the chemicals in my home. Everything is fragrance / dye free or natural cleaners. Frebreeze and similar products are endocrine disruptors and can actually make it difficult for people to lose weight. I also gave up scented lotions and perfume.

Anyway - that's all I have for now. Reach out / friend me if you wish.

TavistockToad

mrsld wrote: »

Thanks all. I feel like i'm on a spiral of self distruct

maybe try thinking about why... why you self sabotage, why you don't think you deserve to be fit and healthy?

also, check that your deficit isn't too steep and you're not restricting unnecessarily harshly

gamerbabe14

CaladriaNapea wrote: »

You might want to try pre-logging all your food for the day and plan specific treats throughout the day. If you have everything planned out and logged then you can tell yourself "well, in an hour I can have that cookie . . ." and that can help you to stick to the plan. Also, lots of water and other calorie-burned drinks (for me that's hot tea) can help me wait for that hour and still have something occupying my taste buds.

I second pre-logging. Believe this is what stopped me from 'forgetting' I was in a diet at the beginning. Now I can see all the food I can eat in a day and my mind is relaxed.

Sheisinlove109

It takes work to lose!!! I log before I put anything in my mouth. I also ask myself "how long will this take to work off at the gym?"

I agree with the no good or bad food. Eat as you wish. If I want the cupcake, I eat the cupcake....but be aware that it will take a serious tough hour of cardio for to burn off. I also make sure the foods I am eating provide fuel for my body otherwise I can't make it in the gym with what my goals are.

Don't deprive yourself. If you eat that cake or whatever...make good choices the rest of the day. Chicken, spinach and Apple for dinner type meal.

It took me about a month of good eating, good sleep, a lot of water and daily hard workouts to reprogram my mindset. Most of the time now I just don't find that splurge worth it and it doesn't taste like I wanted anyway so why bother. After eating right for a while I find everything over sweetened and over salted. Before almonds tasted bitter and bland, now they are a go to treat.

Also if I am going to eat a higher calorie meal, I make sure it's something I truly want not just where the rest of the family wants to eat.

Need2Exerc1se

If you often think you need counseling, I'd say there is a good chance you do.