When did reality smash your belief that a situation was always black and white?

distinctlybeautiful

When did the grey area of life hit you and challenge long-held beliefs? What did you think before and how did that change?

I hope this makes sense. I feel like I'm not doing a very good job of articulating my question here.

FireTurtle75

I was two & learned I couldn't have a pacifier for the rest of my life. Life can be a real *kitten* without a paci...

distinctlybeautiful

Ok, so, for example, you always believed stealing was wrong, no matter what, but then you found yourself in a situation where you started to think maybe sometimes it was justified.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

distinctlybeautiful

@newmeadow What a hard lesson. I hope you've been able to forgive yourself.

KosmosKitten

I've never held the belief that anything in life is simple black and white. I've always seen the shades of gray in between, even as a child. But, I'm pretty sure a lot of that has to do with upbringing and the situations you go through as a young child and adolescent.

JeromeBarry1

OP, You're speaking in vague generalizations. Perhaps with more openness from you we can have an interesting conversation.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

born_of_fire74

When I was young, I was very pro-life. Now I understand that there are worse things than not ever being born, partly due to my own experience with my son, whom I do not feel I did right by due to having him at a very young age, as well as becoming aware of the horrible things that can and often do befall unwanted and/or unplanned children. I believed adoption was the solution but there are so many reasons it's just not. Babies should be wanted and cherished, not a punishment for a poor decision or contraceptive failure (even the most reliable forms of contraception have about a 3% failure rate).

distinctlybeautiful

@cabronlobos How would you answer the question you posed (the reverse of my question)? Also can you give an example of seeing something as black and later as white? I'm not sure I understand.

@born_of_fire74 Thanks for sharing your experience.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

backtothefuture70

I would say that extreme black and white thinkers are quite defended individuals who gain comfort from their belief that complex issues are really "quite simple". They like to cut corners in their thinking and feed into stereotypes. I think it often goes hand in hand with unhelpful traits like arrogance, false omnipotence and grandiosity. They are often very inflexible in their views and won't change them even when faced whith overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Very few things in life are absolute. Most thing's aren't black or white but all shades of grey.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

Vikka_V

distinctlybeautiful wrote: »

Ok, so, for example, you always believed stealing was wrong, no matter what, but then you found yourself in a situation where you started to think maybe sometimes it was justified.

I think I'm getting the gist of the question...

I always thought I would want to live as long as I could until seeing my grandmother after her stroke.
She had no enjoyment of anything anymore only discomfort, pain and a loss of dignity.
I would never want to live that way.

SEAHORSES4EVER

I used to think there were good people and there were bad people.

I now know it isn't that simple. I've seen those I consider the best of people doing "bad", sometimes not purposely but nevertheless people get hurt.

I've also witnessed the "bad" people doing things for the best of reasons.

now I believe "There is no good, there is no evil, only flesh".

LAWoman72

When I became a parent and realized it is actually impossible to never ever lose your cool, lose your patience, be done and say "because I said so" like some kind of a jerk, or actually want something for yourself every few years or so rather than for the child like every single other day, and then I realized parents aren't just dictators, they are people, real human beings who love but are not bottomless wells of patience, understanding and democracy.

FireTurtle75

I grew up on a farm, accidents were inevitable & help is usually never close by. It's hard when you're 12 & something terrible happens & you have to put your own dog down quickly so it doesn't suffer. No one else is around to do it for you or waiting to get help would take to long, so you just man up do the difficult thing that needs to be done & say goodbye to you faithful companion after it's over. Up until that moment you think it's an unthinkable act & inhumane, but when it happens, you learn quickly that it's much more inhumane to not end it's suffering.
You bury him near your favorite in view of the pond & grieve about it for a long time, but eventually you work through it. And still every once in awhile, a thought or smell or just a random daydream makes you think about it again. In that moment, you still grieve about even when you're a grown *kitten* man. God I loved that dog.

LAWoman72

Oh, another epiphany that really happened about the same time: there isn't actually any such thing as "the man," as in: one specific group who is running the show and just loves, for some undefined reason, to "hold others down." When you're the one working like hell just to survive and possibly to feed children, yeah, you'll do an (gasp! Ewww) uncreative (no!) job so nobody starves or dies and that doesn't mean you're a cookie cutter robot who thinks it's great to keep others from expressing their freedom, possibly on your front lawn or the hood of your car or at 3am when you have work the next day.

There is no one single faction that is "the establishment," there is no one thing to rage against, we all just want to live and be happy and NOBODY is a one empiric standard of Normal. And no, surviving is not selling out. It is surviving and every living creature seeks to do it, and no one giant consortium is gathering in secret societies weekly or something to rub their hands together and think how to "keep the little man down." It just isn't that easy. We will all cross that line either way in our lifetimes. Multiple times. We will appear to be that vague "establishment" sometimes, "rebels" at others and the 90% rest of the time, just average people.

LAWoman72

OutOfUserName wrote: »

this reminds me of the the watchmen
do evil stuff for the greater good kinda deal

And what would you consider evil?