Just need to vent

Jessyd76

This year has been full of restarts for me and I'm getting more than a little sick of it. I get that everyone has their *kitten* and challenges to deal with in life and it's on them to work through it to get where they want to be. So yes, I totally know this this is on me and the fact that I am not where I want to be is all on me.

But I'm still frustrated as *kitten*. Feel like I'm getting way more than my share of *kitten* and I'm not sure how many more times I can start again. (Yes, I'm having a little bit of a pity party right now)

I have all the reasons in the world to buckle down and make getting healthy the primary focus of my world. A friend just passed away last week because he no longer had the strength to fight his cancer. Another friend is in the process of losing his ability to speak, think, communicate because he wasn't strong enough for them to hit him with everything they've got to battle his brain tumor. My docs have told me that it's going to be a 'when' I recur, not an 'if'. And I need to be as healthy as I can be b/c I'm going to be in the fight of my life.

So yeah... I've got a lot of cancer *kitten* going on. Each time someone close to me has a bad outcome, I spiral out of control with not sleeping, crap nutrition, no exercise. And then I have to start again. I started over after a surgery earlier this year to get knocked on my *kitten* a few weeks later with the flu. To restart again to get knocked on my *kitten* with work crap. To restart again and get knocked on my *kitten* with diverticulitis. To restart again and get knocked on my *kitten* with my friend passing. I'm about to sort of restart again but also starting prep for my colonoscopy next week. The outcome of which will let me know when I can schedule my next surgery - which will probably knock me on my *kitten* again. Lol! Unless the damn colonoscopy turns up some finding that knocks me on my *kitten*.

Yeah. I get that I'm in control of how I react to all the 'life' crap going on. I'm just frustrated because I'm not handling it as well as I should be. Part of me just wants to say *kitten* it all for now and eat all the comfort food I want till things calm the *kitten* down. But not at least trying would probably make me feel worse.

Ok. Enough with the damn pity party. Thanks for letting me vent. I'm going to have another cup of coffee and then head to the gym.

mca90guitar

Wish you luck, my friend beat cancer a long time ago.

What is helping me this time is not stressing it. Try to stay close to my calorie and macro goals and work out on schedule. If I miss a day no big deal, if I go over a day again no big deal. It's a long journey, go into with the mindset you won't be a twig in a few weeks. I have had my fair share of injuries and current health issues bring me down and keep me away from working out. It really can beat you down and screw with your mindset.

Some days I just can't workout because of the pain. Just rest until I can and go on with it. Results will still happen, maybe slower but whatever.

Have to tell you it's been the most relaxing weight loss I have gone through so far and it's working great for me.

Stay positive and take it slow. Don't need anymore stress right now. Good luck

middlehaitch

That was a worthwhile vent.
Although you do have control over your food, there is a lot in your life that you have no control over.

I totally get you wanting comfort food. I am at my grown sons house at the moment looking after him and his family after he had a brain tumour removed. He has just got his appetite back after a couple of months of nausea and all he wants is the meals we had when he was a child, full of stodge.

Allow yourself some leeway, work in the comfort foods with ones that are more nutritious, and be kind and forgiving with yourself.

Treat yourself like you would a friend with love and compassion.

Cheers, h.

Jessyd76

Thanks @mca90guitar ! I appreciate the words of encouragement. Got any tips on how to stop stressing over it?

Jessyd76

Thanks @middlehaitch ! Sending lots of positive thoughts for your son!

mca90guitar

Jessyd76 wrote: »

Thanks @mca90guitar ! I appreciate the words of encouragement. Got any tips on how to stop stressing over it?

I just realized that stuff happens and try to be as consistent as possible and not get mad or upset that I missed a few days do to issues I have no control over. The weight will come off even if it takes a little longer.

After seeing what my grandma and friend went through with cancer it no question is a fight and I don't see how you wouldnt get down at certain points. Alot going on, alot to think about and no doubt valid reason to be stressed. I can't speak from personal experience how to get over that. But they both got to a acceptance stage eventually.

Just take it slow and do your best. Down days will happen but get back up and keep going( I know I sound a little corny here but it's true lol)

clicketykeys

Check the web for information on local support groups. The American cancer society may have counselors you can talk to. You are not in this alone.

One thing that helped me was writing down all the things I was worried about and then making lists for each one of what I could do to respond to them. Having a plan REALLY helps me.