Bingeing vicious cycle.. I feel like a failure

Posts: 51 Member
edited November 18 in Health and Weight Loss

I'm bingeing around once a week at the moment. I do so well for a week or so and then I just blow it. I know that it's a mental issue and I've been seeing a therapist for 2 years but there are so many issues from my childhood that we can't pinpoint it to one thing. Has anyone managed to overcome bingeing? I started wanting to binge on chocolate since yesterday. I resisted the binge and went to bed but woke up still wanting to binge. And it gets to the point where I can't fight it any longer. If anyone has any tips or advice I'd really appreciate it. I need to shift the weight as I'm getting married next year and I have around 80 pounds to lose... feeling like a big fat failure because this vicious cycle keeps happening.

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Replies

  • Posts: 10 Member
    All I can offer is sympathy. I suffer greatly from it.
  • Posts: 749 Member
    Sounds like you need to give yourself a break :) We all have setbacks and we just need to stay in the game. I imagine that eating is a stress relief for you like it is for many of us. First things first, your future husband will still marry you just the way you are. Getting stressed about eating is making you more stressed and you want food to eat to help manage that stress! urgh :( I hate to say this because I hate this type of thing, but it sounds like you need to try to "think more happy thoughts".

    There are a few other strategies you could try. One is, when you feel you really want to binge, make a healthy, filling snack like some brown rice and eat it. Then after you've eaten it, if you still want to binge, go ahead. Have some water with that rice too ;)

    You could try eating more protein earlier in the day. It's a fact that increased protein increases satiety and reduces overall calories. I've found this helped more than I thought it would. Eggs for breakfast :)

    Another thing that you could try longer term is skipping breakfast. Eat the same amount of calories as you normally would, but pick times during the day that you just won't eat. Water and black coffee are fine. I've found that it is much easier to not eat food if it's 'just not time to eat' that way you can't get into the habit of having a little bit more than you should, because it's very black and white, eat or don't eat.

    If you haven't already, do you best to not bring binge items into your house at all except when planned. This will make you go to extra effort to go out of the house to get them.

    You can do this :) nobody said it would be easy, but it's worth it.

  • Posts: 112 Member
    id go with rusty on the more protien, I binge when im not eating enough.

    When you feel the need to binge drink 750ml of water sit for 5 mins and see if that helps.
  • Posts: 313 Member
    No advice, just empathy. And you're not a failure -- because you haven't given up. You are sticking it out and doing your best. There is so much more to people than just their weight or physical appearance.
  • Posts: 1,327 Member
    You are definitely NOT a failure- YOU see the problem and you are seeking solutions to it- There is a lot of sound advice- just take it one day at a time- if need be- one hour at a time- and even if you do binge eat- get back up and start right back on your eating plan THE NEXT MEAL- you can do this!!!!
  • Posts: 618 Member
    More protein, a very moderate deficit (like 250 calories a day), and fewer consecutive days off exercise. More protein helps if I'm having cravings over a span of days. Data analysis says I'm most likely to overeat on a no-exercise day following 5 or more consecutive days of exercise. Moderate deficit in general makes me less likely to binge.
  • Posts: 15,532 Member
    How many calories are you aiming for in a day? And can you explain what you are calling binging? Are you meaning it as in, you cave and have a chocolate bar and feel guilty about it, or do you mean you eat uncontrollably until you feel sick.
  • Posts: 3 Member
    I am exactly the same, I do great for a couple of days then I can't fight the binge and just give in x
  • Posts: 186 Member
    If you're not seeing a health professional about this I would recommend doing so. If you already see a health professional about this I would recommend making another appointment and speaking with them about this. Good luck!!
  • Posts: 28,052 Member
    I'm bingeing around once a week at the moment. I do so well for a week or so and then I just blow it. I know that it's a mental issue and I've been seeing a therapist for 2 years but there are so many issues from my childhood that we can't pinpoint it to one thing. Has anyone managed to overcome bingeing? I started wanting to binge on chocolate since yesterday. I resisted the binge and went to bed but woke up still wanting to binge. And it gets to the point where I can't fight it any longer. If anyone has any tips or advice I'd really appreciate it. I need to shift the weight as I'm getting married next year and I have around 80 pounds to lose... feeling like a big fat failure because this vicious cycle keeps happening.

    Sentences like "I do so well for a week or so and then I just blow it" usually means that someone was under-eating, which can definitely trigger a binge.

    What's your weekly weight loss goal set to? I wonder if you are trying to lose too much too fast. Why don't you aim for losing a pound per week, and see if that gets you off the restrict/binge roller coaster. This may not sound like a lot, but in a year it's 50 pounds.

    Ask your therapist if you can do some cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) right now to immediately improve your relationship with food. I had YEARS of therapy but what was really helpful was just a few CBT focused meetings.

    When I do the following, I don't have cravings:

    1. Get sufficient sleep
    2. Exercise regularly - when I get the happy hormones from exercise, I'm not prone to seeking them from food.
    3. Get sufficient protein in relationship to carbs. I'm not low carb, but reducing carbs and upping protein worked for cravings for me. See also http://www.nutrition.org.uk/healthyliving/fuller/understanding-satiety-feeling-full-after-a-meal.html
    4. Eat moderate amounts of fruit. This makes me less interested in higher calorie sweets.
    5. Take a magnesium supplement. This can be especially helpful for women premenstrually.
    6. Save foods like chocolate for after dinner, in small amounts
    7. Stay hydrated
    8. Have a calorie deficit that is appropriate for the amount of weight I need to lose. An overly aggressive goal can definitely lead to cravings.
    9. Eat at maintenance when my appetite goes up premenstrually.
  • Posts: 51 Member
    Thanks for your advice everyone. It's nice to know that I have support on here. For those asking I'm aiming to lose 1.5 pounds a week. But to be honest I keep going down to a certain point and then back up again because I binge and ruin everything. And when I say binge I mean I have had- probably around 500 calories worth of potato chips, around 3 ice cream bars of about 200 calories each and a kitkat bar. So around 1300 calories of junk :/
  • Posts: 10,179 Member
    edited May 2017
    OP, do you ever plan to have a single small piece of chocolate and do so successfully? Or, is the first taste always a binge trigger?

    Frankly, the best thing for you may well be to change your weight loss target to 0.5 lb per week and have a Hershey Kiss every stinking day until you get sick of it.
  • Posts: 1,047 Member
    I'm a recovering binger myself. Here's a copy of something I posted on someone else's thread:

    "It's important to learn how to recognize what triggers you to overeat. Is it stress? A celebration? A way to reward yourself for doing something difficult? Or maybe boredom? Did something happen that made you feel bad about yourself? Do you eat more around a certain person? Try to figure out what was different about this week. Write down some of your thoughts so you can refer back to it later. Keep adding insights to your journal on a regular basis. Just remember your "why" can't be "because it tasted good." The first two or three bites of something are the best, then the sensation diminishes and we continue eating for another reason.

    What you discover about your own personal "whys" of overeating will be profoundly important to you ALL your life, not just during this diet. Once you can look your "why" in the face, you can begin developing strategies to remain confidently in control of what you eat.

    I've adopted many different strategies for all my many "whys" and I'm working on them continually. For me, it's not enough to just hope or trust that my future self will be this ideal person who will never get fat again. I have to practice now what I want my future self to be accomplished with. Doing that gives me real hope, not that slippery fantasy-hope feeling that's shadowed with doubt."

    I hope you find the answers you're looking for.
  • Posts: 14,303 Member
    edited May 2017
    Reduce your deficit.

    Stop thinking of going over goal as a ruined day which you might as well compound with more stuff now that it's ruined already.

    Stop thinking of food as "virtuous" and "junk".

    A 1300 Cal unplanned overage (technically 550 Cal overage since you have a 750 deficit), is not enough to offset a 4500 Cal deficit (6x750). So more than one issue is going on here.

    How long have you been at a deficit? Have you taken a break at all?

    @kshama2001 has some great ideas up-thread! So does Cynthia.
  • Posts: 3,985 Member
    Great advice here already. I too binge about once a week, especially if I'm set at anything below 1# a week (or 1700). I can't stress the importance of sleep and hydration.
  • Posts: 1,447 Member
    Work some chocolate into your eating plan.
  • Posts: 51 Member
    Thanks everyone. I definitely allow myself some sort of dessert every day but the problem is stopping after one portion... some days I can stop and some days I can't. That's the problem, but I also know that cutting it out completely won't work because I WILL cave at some point around 3-4 weeks in and eat ALL the chocolate! Lol. I guess I just need to learn to have more self control but as much as I want to lose weight, and I do want to, so so badly, in the moment it's an impulse that I just can't control...
  • Posts: 952 Member
    Find out when you're bingeing and work your days/weeks around it. My weakness is at night, I love to eat once I'm home. You can do anything from:

    Intermittent fasting - you don't eat breakfast, so you have more to eat late at night. Calories wise it's the same. I have a bigger dinner and then eat a mug cake and halo top ice cream around 8pm when I'm feeling snacky.

    24hr fast - One big meal at the end of the day.

    Finding a snack replacement like plain popcorn popped with coconut oil and sprinkled with salt, parsnip chips, kale chips, pickles, cucumbers, etc.

    And the biggest tip I used when I first started out was DON'T KEEP IT IN THE HOUSE. If you have a Mc Donalds weakness like I do, don't bring it home. Don't pick up chips when you grocery shop. Stay away from anything like "Nature Valley" and high sugar granola bars. Skip cereal and have an omlette or a quiche.
  • Posts: 126 Member
    Loss of 1.5 lbs is too aggressive until you build better habits. Decrease your deficit.

    Self control? Somewhat but mostly you need skills and you've got to learn new ones and practice them. Anticipate triggers and look to proactively avoid them. Have a cache of things you need when you do trigger so you can regroup as much as possible. Focus on better not perfect.
  • Posts: 94 Member
    Totally sympathise, am there all too often Tashlovesfood! Thanks for posting, I've loved reading the tips on here ... what seems to work for me to get back on track is eating a non-sweet breakfast (e.g. porridge with nuts & salt) and a huge lunch (stuffed with salad or veg) ... calories stay low overall that way and being full till early evening helps staying away from really more'ish sugary, fatty snacks like cookies and cakes in the daytime, which then helps me manage my evening cravings better as they are the worst for me ... somehow if I am not physically hungry I can stay on savoury stuff, and not go hunting down supermarket sweet treats, a bit more easily.
  • Posts: 523 Member
    I have a binge eating disorder for over 45 years. Hugs
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