Hello
Nobledictator78
Posts: 10 Member
So Hey. My name is Ben. Im about to hit 40 and I am extremely overweight. I started at 723 and this Sunday I have gotten down to 670. Of course alot of that is water weight but this isn't going to be done over night. Today marks the 1st complete month I have done this and tracked my calories daily. I have wanted to join a community on here, but sometimes I get to talking I get so ashamed and I become a wreck...sadly it shows in my posts. So I finally decided to introduce myself on here, because I know I can't do this alone and the more folks I have the better I will be.
I have done ALOT of diets in my day, but I've never been more serious than I am this time. I have a team in place, a doctor, a social worker, I'm looking into a shrink, and of course logging daily. It all helps. I have come to understand ...especially from tried and failed diets that I am a food addict. No different than a alcoholic. I can look at food...and I eat it. I think about it constantly sometimes while I'm eating on what my next meal will be. I like food its great....but it is killing me. This is my final stand. Its hard, and I have good days and bad days.
There may be some on here, that find me disgusting, and I get that, I work hard everyday to try not to think that of myself. Im not one of those folks that are going to get mad at you for that, because I wasn't always fat...certainly not like this, and I have judged many a big person in my day. Irony is so ironic :-). But I am looking for constructive help to help me drop this weight. Foods I can eat, positive thinking, and just anything that helps me get to a normal human being. In return anyone out there that wants my support, I will do whatever I can to give it, which will include giving you anything that works for me, being a ear to listen, and being somone that will encourage when you are sinking.
I have many goals, some so small and trivial, like being able to go to my kid's recitals, or to comic con, lol or to my mailbox and back. If eating well is hard, exercising is even harder. On top of that my weight has made me a complete hermit, I find I fear the public, I fear that I can't do things, and even when I rationally try to say everything is okay.... I find ways to avoid going anywhere. Problem is it is making life not just pathetic, but boring as well. I have a Masters in Psych, but I can't utilize it because of my weight. For now I work from home at a call center, there may be other big folks out there who know what Im talking about.
The goals continue from little things I took for granted, like easier trips into the bathroom, better labido, to being able to go shopping on my own. It is crazy how much this weight has cost me. Im not looking for sympathy I did this to myself, but Im giving you a picture of who I am, and admitting it helps me with recovery. Its not always pretty to hear my issues but that doesn't make them any less true.
There is so much more about me, at times I may use this as a means to let it out, because depression is just the tip of the iceberg that obesity like mine causes. I have a piper to pay, and its going to be a long slow process. Today is day 30, Ive lost at least 52 pounds (only weigh on sundays....I was obsessing) and today I went to the gym for a hour and swam (and my body is not happy with this development)....tomorrow I will do it again..... and as I do these things I hope I meet new folks who motivate me to be a healthier person than I was the day before.
I have done ALOT of diets in my day, but I've never been more serious than I am this time. I have a team in place, a doctor, a social worker, I'm looking into a shrink, and of course logging daily. It all helps. I have come to understand ...especially from tried and failed diets that I am a food addict. No different than a alcoholic. I can look at food...and I eat it. I think about it constantly sometimes while I'm eating on what my next meal will be. I like food its great....but it is killing me. This is my final stand. Its hard, and I have good days and bad days.
There may be some on here, that find me disgusting, and I get that, I work hard everyday to try not to think that of myself. Im not one of those folks that are going to get mad at you for that, because I wasn't always fat...certainly not like this, and I have judged many a big person in my day. Irony is so ironic :-). But I am looking for constructive help to help me drop this weight. Foods I can eat, positive thinking, and just anything that helps me get to a normal human being. In return anyone out there that wants my support, I will do whatever I can to give it, which will include giving you anything that works for me, being a ear to listen, and being somone that will encourage when you are sinking.
I have many goals, some so small and trivial, like being able to go to my kid's recitals, or to comic con, lol or to my mailbox and back. If eating well is hard, exercising is even harder. On top of that my weight has made me a complete hermit, I find I fear the public, I fear that I can't do things, and even when I rationally try to say everything is okay.... I find ways to avoid going anywhere. Problem is it is making life not just pathetic, but boring as well. I have a Masters in Psych, but I can't utilize it because of my weight. For now I work from home at a call center, there may be other big folks out there who know what Im talking about.
The goals continue from little things I took for granted, like easier trips into the bathroom, better labido, to being able to go shopping on my own. It is crazy how much this weight has cost me. Im not looking for sympathy I did this to myself, but Im giving you a picture of who I am, and admitting it helps me with recovery. Its not always pretty to hear my issues but that doesn't make them any less true.
There is so much more about me, at times I may use this as a means to let it out, because depression is just the tip of the iceberg that obesity like mine causes. I have a piper to pay, and its going to be a long slow process. Today is day 30, Ive lost at least 52 pounds (only weigh on sundays....I was obsessing) and today I went to the gym for a hour and swam (and my body is not happy with this development)....tomorrow I will do it again..... and as I do these things I hope I meet new folks who motivate me to be a healthier person than I was the day before.
2
Replies
-
Hi Ben. Welcome to MFP. Lots of great people here. Best wishes, you can do this!
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1
0 -
Hi Ben, I truely hope you reach your goals some day. stick with it no matter how hard it gets, what people say. Especially what your mind says to itself on the bad days.
There has been enough negativity in your life to get you to this point. you dont need any more.
Turn whatever feelings you have into motivation any way you can. Reward yourself mentally for every progressive step you make.
Most of all, Dont give up on yourself. Its a long journey and MFP and friendly faces will cheer you on!0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 392.9K Introduce Yourself
- 43.7K Getting Started
- 260.1K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.8K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 415 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.9K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.6K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.5K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions