Advice from women in a relationship with an individual attracted to "BBWs"

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  • panda4153
    panda4153 Posts: 417 Member
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    I was reading something about relationships in other countries and the cultural view of relationships in those countries. In France, it is assumed that women tolerate infidelity, but in fact they do not in general tolerate that betrayal of trust, however, what they do view differently is that they feel that partners should treat everyday like they are still trying to win that person. In short, put the same effort you do when you are first dating someone, into every day. So many people think that once they are in the relationship they can stop trying when it comes to appearance, but physical attraction is an important component of a healthy relationship.

    To the OP, if your boyfriend loves you now, and you describe a great relationship that includes open communication about your goals I would not worry too much over this. Yes, its possible he will end up unhappy with the new you, but it doesn't sound probable from how you describe him. Yes, many people have physical preferences when it comes to attraction. Everyone also I am sure has deal breakers, or things that they absolutely find unacceptable even repulsive. Keep in mind though that there is a lot of in between preference and repulsive. He may prefer bigger, but also still find other sizes attractive as well. Unless he has said it is a deal breaker for him I would not worry. I would encourage you guys to talk about what your deal breakers are though. Knowing what your partner absolutely must have in a relationship is important in determining whether a future together.
  • Rusty740
    Rusty740 Posts: 749 Member
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    Could it be possible that he's saying he's attracted to larger women to make you feel good? It's possible.

    We've all given you advice to do what's good for you and that's to try to get to your goal weight. It's healthy for you.

    You know what's attractive. Someone who's successfully bettering themselves and I think he'll see it that way too.
  • MsMaeFlowers
    MsMaeFlowers Posts: 261 Member
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    Everyone has a "type" they're attracted to. Doesn't mean that's the only people they will ever be attracted to. If he supports you in your goals, I wouldn't worry about what may or may not ever happen.
  • suzesvelte
    suzesvelte Posts: 134 Member
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    My wife likes larger ladies, I know she was first attracted to me when I was very big.
    But over time that gets less important. None of us can stay trapped in the amber of how we looked when we first met. And "attraction" morphs to more solid foundations in successful long-term relationships.

    We've been together for 25 years and she has supported me through my battles with my weight and loved me whatever size I was ...
    Now her main desire is for me to be healthy and live as long as possible so she is 100% with me, again, on MFP.

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