Exercise Bulimia

VixenArgentum

After analyzing the periods of my life that I've been "healthy", I've found some patterns.

I feel like a failure if I do not exercise off the calories I eat on any given day. My early college years were basically me burning 1000's of calories so that I could feel safe eating anything at all.

My solution in the past that made me "feel better" was to simply not think about calories at all, burned or eaten. Then other personal health issues happened and I ended up gaining a lot of weight.

Getting back into tracking calories is incredibly triggering, and I feel myself slipping into my old habits from the "healthy" days of my life.

Yesterday I could only eat 900 calories, and it takes far more than that to power my body. (I weigh 248) I feel terrible right now for the ice cream I ate with my husband tonight, even though it is well within my allowances.

Does anybody else struggle with this problem? What do you do?

eblakes93

Thanks for sharing your struggle with us.

It sounds like you are having a tough time mentally and emotionally around food. I would suggest seeking some help outside of MFP, such as a therapist of clinical psychologist. Eating only 900 calories a day probably won't be a sustainable life style for you in the long run.

jess6742

Talk to your doctor. Have him or her refer you to a therapist. This problem is something that you should be handled by a professional not on a message board. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

carolemorden9

I agree with ebalkes93, that you should seek help with someone outside of MFP. What you are describing sounds like a serious problem.

For me personally, I feel like I need to exercise everyday just so I can eat more than what MFP gives me before exercise is figured in. I generally eat around 2200 calories a day, but have less than the 1810 netted for the day that MFP gives me. However, I then feel bad about eating so much when all the other people who are on my friends list eat less than what I do. I'm still losing weight every week, but I feel disgusted with myself.

VixenArgentum

I appreciate the gesture, but I already have a doctor, a psychiatrist, and a therapist...I had to quit working and drop out of school when bipolar disorder decided to waltz into my life.

I just want to know if there are others here like me, and what helps them, if anything.

elyelyse

I appreciate the gesture, but I already have a doctor, a psychiatrist, and a therapist...I had to quit working and drop out of school when bipolar disorder decided to waltz into my life.

I just want to know if there are others here like me, and what helps them, if anything.

a lot of bipolar people also suffer from OCD on some level (like me), which can contribute to obsessing over calories. I can't give you any suggestions, other than to agree that it's something you should bring up with both your psychiatrist (is this something that can be helped with medication?) and your therapist (what are good strategies for changing your thoughts and resulting behaviors.)

VixenArgentum

For me personally, I feel like I need to exercise everyday just so I can eat more than what MFP gives me before exercise is figured in. I generally eat around 2200 calories a day, but have less than the 1810 netted for the day that MFP gives me. However, I then feel bad about eating so much when all the other people who are on my friends list eat less than what I do. I'm still losing weight every week, but I feel disgusted with myself.

I understand that. I feel awful when people post workouts that burned more calories than mine. Though realistically, I know that some of it is because I have friends that weigh more than me and thus burn more. It doesn't change the stupid gut reaction though.

VixenArgentum

a lot of bipolar people also suffer from OCD on some level (like me), which can contribute to obsessing over calories. I can't give you any suggestions, other than to agree that it's something you should bring up with both your psychiatrist (is this something that can be helped with medication?) and your therapist (what are good strategies for changing your thoughts and resulting behaviors.)

I've always had problems with the O of OCD, but a lot of that has been minimized with the addition of an SSRI. I take an SSRI, NDRI, benzo, antipsychotic, and a mood stabilizer...so I think I'm okay on the med front.

My husband bought me a Fitbit this past week, which was the catalyst to this whole thing reemerging. I'm definitely going to talk to my therapist about it Friday afternoon.

elyelyse

a lot of bipolar people also suffer from OCD on some level (like me), which can contribute to obsessing over calories. I can't give you any suggestions, other than to agree that it's something you should bring up with both your psychiatrist (is this something that can be helped with medication?) and your therapist (what are good strategies for changing your thoughts and resulting behaviors.)

I've always had problems with the O of OCD, but a lot of that has been minimized with the addition of an SSRI. I take an SSRI, NDRI, benzo, antipsychotic, and a mood stabilizer...so I think I'm okay on the med front.

My husband bought me a Fitbit this past week, which was the catalyst to this whole thing reemerging. I'm definitely going to talk to my therapist about it Friday afternoon.

oh i can absolutely see how the fitbit could contribute.
ok, do you log your exercise each day and use that to determine your daily goal? If so, you may want to switch to the TDEE- method. If you don't know what that means, in general, you come up with a daily goal based on your exercise habits. Its the same goal every day no matter what you do. You do not log exercise burns, its already counted and averaged out over the days of the week. Having the same goal every day without having to count your activity daily would remove one of those factors that you are so obsessed with counting, and that might help? If you want more info, just search the forums for TDEE.