You are Not Fat (and Why This *kitten* Really Needs to Stop)
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mandy_godfree wrote: »It's more when people are trying to compliment me that I end up thinking "Was I really that big?"
I knew I needed to lose some weight, and more importantly I needed to improve my fitness. But when people are trying to encourage me I get comments like "You've lost loooads of weight?" Or "You're half the person". Well I'm not half the person I've lost just under 10% of my overall original weight, not 50%. I have lost a decent amount of weight but I wouldn't call it loooaads. I really wasn't THAT big before.
Someone said to me "you've lost 300 lbs!" and I think realized immediately it was a dumb thing to say and felt awkward so I slipped into "smooth over awkward moment" mode but actually thought it was funny. I did lose loooads of weight, but my highest was maybe 220, so no, I didn't lose near 300. (I assume she was using 300 to mean "lots," but still.)0 -
JerSchmare wrote: »MizMimi111 wrote: »DezYaoified wrote: »It bugs me when i call myself fat and someone corrects me. This is a huge issue between my mom and me.
For me, its a part of moving forward to become healthy. Knowing what i need to work on, for emotional or physical health, and stating the fact helps keep me focused.
I am fat. I want to change that.
To correct me on a problem i am trying to fix, it messes with my way of thinking. 5'3" 215 pounds and a small frame is not healthy. Please dont belittle my struggle, my goals, or my sucess by correcting me simply because you do not agree with the phrase i used.
See bolded bits above.
I am fat. I know I am fat. That's why I'm on MFP.
You have fat, you are not fat itself. Fat is a thing. You have other things, like a heart, lungs, and hair. People don't go around calling you lungs or heart. It's silly. Maybe you're overweight and as a result, have some fat on your body, but you are not fat.
At this point you're just picking one definition of fat and stubbornly using it out of context. Do you prefer the word "obese"? They're often used interchangeably and it's a lot more difficult to play semantics with that one. SMH10 -
This is like splitting the difference between soda and pop. We can call it as many different names as we like but its still the same thing.
Acknowledging im fat was a huge step to start making a change.2 -
It's only when I gained weight I realized how other people tried to push their insecurities about weight on me. Like they felt ugly or unattractive if they gained 10lbs so I should feel like haunting the nearest bell tower and hiding my shameful fat away since I've gained over 60lbs. Like no, just no. I refuse to internalize other people's definition of fat as a negative judgement on a one's character and self esteem.6
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@rednote49 Exactly! And thanks for the laugh!0
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I can understand the sentiment of avoiding defining yourself only by one facet: being fat. But I feel it is important to acknowledge it especially if you want to change. I am a lot of other things besides fat, but ignoring how large I had gotten is how I got to this point in the first place. I am fat, but I am also smart, funny, pretty, nerdy, wife, doctor, sister, daughter, aunt, shy, introverted...the list goes on and on. But until I confronted the truth about myself, and recognized that it was not how I wanted to live my life anymore, I wasn't ready to change.2
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So is this about semantics? Because otherwise, are you saying we should never describe ourselves with any adjectives because one word can't define us? I'm all for promoting self-esteem, but being honest with yourself about all the myriad qualities you possess and how those qualities affect your life is kind of part of becoming a whole person, a functioning adult. It's important for me to acknowledge I'm overweight so I can take action to become a healthy weight. It's important for me to acknowledge I'm an introvert so I can decide to get out into the world and live my life. It's important for me to acknowledge I'm smart, so I can pat myself on the back for that. Suggesting it's harmful to use those words just gives those words more power than they deserve.
It's not healthy to refuse to name the things about you that you don't like. You have to put on your big girl pants, name and face your strengths AND your weaknesses, acknowledge that you still are awesome despite your weaknesses, and then figure out how to use your strengths to shore up your weaknesses. I say I'm a lazy *kitten* all the time, not because I think it defines me and makes me worthless, but because saying it out loud reminds me to fight the urge to be lazy and to get stuff done instead.
Deciding to never describe yourself with words kind of seems like an existential nightmare to me.6 -
Actually-fat is an adjective, just like happy, sad, tall, short, thick, thin, etc. and one can indeed be fat (in the same way they can be happy, sad, etc.). The trouble is not in calling oneself fat (which is correct use of the language), It is in assuming that being fat somehow negates their value and worth as a person. Assigning a moral value to the word fat is what causes the issue. Being fat means you have excess fat. The end.2
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Are you attempting to re-state "Love the sinner, hate the sin"?
If there is a quality that you don't like - change the behavior associated with this. Moralizing over a word is foolish. Sticking your head in the sand and not acknowledging that you can change is equally foolish.3 -
No, i am fat. I've spent 6 years assuring myself that im not, but it's true, and i need to lose it. My self-esteem is good, i dont put myself down, but the extra weight isnt doing me any favors, and neither is assuring myself that "fat isnt bad for me".
And "fat" doesnt mean "ugly".2
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