Any diagnosed binge eaters here?

RaptorMommy

I've been working with my nutritionist for a year this month. I've come a long way in a year, and only recently broke past all of the denial that I've had wrapped around myself all this time.

I'm clearly seeing the cycle of binge eating now, the intense desire to "control" the eating, the buildup, the binge, the self hatred that leads back to the desire to control again.

How the f*** do you stop the self hate part?! I wish just being aware of it was enough to snap out of it, but it's not! Ugh. I want to break free of this for good, and I know it takes time.

I'm hoping someone here has been there, or is there now and can offer advice.

Thanks.

leejoyce31

RaptorMommy wrote: »

I've been working with my nutritionist for a year this month. I've come a long way in a year, and only recently broke past all of the denial that I've had wrapped around myself all this time.

I'm clearly seeing the cycle of binge eating now, the intense desire to "control" the eating, the buildup, the binge, the self hatred that leads back to the desire to control again.

How the f*** do you stop the self hate part?! I wish just being aware of it was enough to snap out of it, but it's not! Ugh. I want to break free of this for good, and I know it takes time.

I'm hoping someone here has been there, or is there now and can offer advice.

Thanks.

Maybe you should seek counseling. I wish you the best.

emerrywe

I was bulemic as a teen and your post has reminded me to see it's echo in my current "slump". I have done my share of therapies (so many types, all have something to offer, I highly suggest trying some out) and have let go of the self hate but the habits, albeit far less extreme, are still something I must contend with. I cannot keep ice cream in the house. I will eat it all. In 24hrs or less. No matter how much. Other candy I am better with but ice cream has always been my achilles heel.

future_gym_bunny99

I've been diagnosed with EDNOS and it's pretty much as your describing, with added restricting and purging. I'd say it's well worth looking into counselling - it does take a lot of hard work and self discipline on your part, though, but if it works it's worth it, right?

glimmersilver

Raptor, I'm so glad to see your post! I have just started as a participant in a research study on the effectiveness of self-help programs for binge eating. What I know of it (they don't tell us a lot!) is that they are comparing three different programs - three groups of us. All I got is a book with weekly "lessons" and homework, and they are going to check back in with me in three months and then six months and see how I feel about it.

My instinct is to want to deny the issues, even though it was I who saw the sign looking for participants and said "yes yes that's me!" and emailed them and was happy that (after a phone interview) they decided that I was indeed a binge eater and belonged in their study. Weird to feel happy that I'm considered to be behaving in a way that I really don't like, and have been fighting with for at least 40 years. I would have felt rejected if they had said "naah, you're not REALLY a binge eater!" I'm hoping this program will help.

My instinct is to feel that doing this on my own isn't going to help - that I need a community of people dealing with these issues. But I don't want to get counseling for it - I'm really ambivalent about even admitting to myself that this is an emotional issue and I would be better off and happier if I dealt with it. Because I'm sure the binge eating is just a symptom of other issues that I don't want to deal with.

Anyway, if you want to have an ongoing discussion about it, and maybe form a community here to support each other, we could try that. What do you think?

glimmersilver

emerrywe wrote: »

I was bulemic as a teen and your post has reminded me to see it's echo in my current "slump". I have done my share of therapies (so many types, all have something to offer, I highly suggest trying some out) and have let go of the self hate but the habits, albeit far less extreme, are still something I must contend with. I cannot keep ice cream in the house. I will eat it all. In 24hrs or less. No matter how much. Other candy I am better with but ice cream has always been my achilles heel.

emerrywe - I'm EXACTLY the same with ice cream! I tell myself any time I want, I can go to the ice cream parlor and buy a dish of ice cream, but I can't buy it at the grocery store because no matter how big or small the container it's gone in 24 hours (2/3 the first day, 1/3 the second day). But then I never go to the ice cream parlor because a dish there costs so much! ;-) It's kind of ridiculous.

slaite1

RaptorMommy wrote: »

I've been working with my nutritionist for a year this month. I've come a long way in a year, and only recently broke past all of the denial that I've had wrapped around myself all this time.

I'm clearly seeing the cycle of binge eating now, the intense desire to "control" the eating, the buildup, the binge, the self hatred that leads back to the desire to control again.

How the f*** do you stop the self hate part?! I wish just being aware of it was enough to snap out of it, but it's not! Ugh. I want to break free of this for good, and I know it takes time.

I'm hoping someone here has been there, or is there now and can offer advice.

Thanks.

I second the advice to seek counseling. It's cool your nutritionist helped you work through your denial and now you can see your patterns. Let a good therapist help you work through your self-hatred and other issues. I don't think it's as simple as "this is how you love yourself". You have to work through your own personal *kitten*.

PermissionGranted

I was diagnosed with binge eating disorder in December of last year. Knowing that there is a name for the crazy food cycles and emotional cycles that I would go through has at the very least not made me feel crazy. My metabolic specialist prescribed a medication and I'm currently in counseling. This has been very beneficial for me. I hope that this helps.

CharlieICURN

I realized I had a lot of problems with my self esteem and a deep level of self hatred that I needed to work on. I definitely have a binge eating disorder and recently decided I need to seek professional help to work on these issues. I started seeing a nutritional counselor that specializes in eating disorders as well as a psychologist for behavioral counseling as well. The nutritional counselor agreed that I have a binge eating problem and recommended behaviors counseling as a two-step approach. She said unless I work on my negative self perception, there's only so far I will go trying to control the binge eating. She's working with me on my relationship with food and the emotions associated with foods and all while the behavioral counselor is helping me with how I perceive myself and all that jazz.
I think it's too early to tell how effective this will be but I definitely feel it's a positive experience so far.

Hearts_2015

PermissionGranted wrote: »

I was diagnosed with binge eating disorder in December of last year. Knowing that there is a name for the crazy food cycles and emotional cycles that I would go through has at the very least not made me feel crazy. My metabolic specialist prescribed a medication and I'm currently in counseling. This has been very beneficial for me. I hope that this helps.

@PermissionGranted What med do you current take? I've been on Vyvanse and am currently taking 50mg and also seeing my therapist for other things as well. Glad it here it's been beneficial for you!

I'd be interested in seeing a group on diagnosed binge eating. There's a group created for binge eating but it's not been active so I haven't been in it for some time now. Another group can be created if others are interested?

I would enjoy being involved in a convo as well @glimmersilver
I'd also be interested to hear more about your group study as well!

Hearts_2015

RaptorMommy wrote: »

I've been working with my nutritionist for a year this month. I've come a long way in a year, and only recently broke past all of the denial that I've had wrapped around myself all this time.

I'm clearly seeing the cycle of binge eating now, the intense desire to "control" the eating, the buildup, the binge, the self hatred that leads back to the desire to control again.

How the f*** do you stop the self hate part?! I wish just being aware of it was enough to snap out of it, but it's not! Ugh. I want to break free of this for good, and I know it takes time.

I'm hoping someone here has been there, or is there now and can offer advice.

Thanks.

Sounds like you've gained some real insight into how it works though...the cycle. Understanding is a big key to making changes. @RaptorMommy

angriestgriffin

I haven't been diagnosed, per say, but I know with certainty that I experience the symptoms of BED.

It's been a really long road away from those crazy moments of eating thousands of calories in short time periods, followed by the hours of running and starving and... then failing again.

I found a lot of help from this old, falling apart book called "Breaking Free from Compulsive Eating" by Geneen Roth. It's a little weird but I love it! Part of the process for me involved decriminalizing foods. I gained a good ten pounds in that period of letting myself eat without judgement. So. Worth. It. I had to decide to let myself eat in front of people. I decided also to not let myself in secret. I got comfortable allying about it. Somewhere along the line, my sense of self-efficacy reappeared and I started to feel like *I* was making conscious decisions about food again.

I haven't reached all my weight loss/fitness goals yet, but I've come along way from the total helplessness I felt before. You got this! Be kind and patient to yourself!