lost a friend over my diet

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ck2d
ck2d Posts: 372 Member
in Motivation and Support
Apparently the stress of worrying over me became too much. I eat when I'm hungry, not when the clock says it's time to eat, so I don't eat breakfast every day. Obviously that means I'm starving myself.
There's a part of me thinking "Oh yeah, you want to see how much I can eat?" Must stay out of the kitchen...
I'm kind of stunned, because this is madness.

Replies

  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,136 Member
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    Your friend stopped speaking to you because you skip breakfast now and again?
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    :huh:
  • jseams1234
    jseams1234 Posts: 1,216 Member
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    ... ??

    Unless you are severely underweight and your friend is worried you have an eating disorder this makes no sense.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 33,976 Member
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    I've left friendships when the other person became self-destructive. I realized I couldn't help, and I also couldn't watch.

    Are you under eating in general? Sometimes other people see us making bad choices and a good friend will tell us.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,136 Member
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    OPs diary is open - doesn't seem to be undereating.
  • ck2d
    ck2d Posts: 372 Member
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    I'm eating keto, and I have 75 pounds to lose. I'm eating about 1700 calories a day.
    Also, I'm "unAmerican" not to eat bread...
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 33,976 Member
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    I looked at a few of your past posts.

    Is your friend an overweight buddy? It looks like you have a bit of weight to lose. Some people react in a weird way when a friend starts to make positive changes. Then they have to look at their own behaviors.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,136 Member
    edited June 2017
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    cmriverside wrote: »
    I looked at a few of your past posts.

    Is your friend an overweight buddy? It looks like you have a bit of weight to lose. Some people react in a weird way when a friend starts to make positive changes. Then they have to look at their own behaviors.

    Agreed, I think maybe your friend is projecting some of their own baggage on you. Sometimes it's best to avoid discussing weight loss with friends and family, people have a lot of weird and wonderful ideas about it and you need to do what works for you, if you're eating at a reasonable deficit and are getting adequate nutrition I would just crack on with it and perhaps add some people with similar goals on MFP.
  • Penthesilea514
    Penthesilea514 Posts: 1,189 Member
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    tinkerbellang83 wrote: »
    cmriverside wrote: »
    I looked at a few of your past posts.

    Is your friend an overweight buddy? It looks like you have a bit of weight to lose. Some people react in a weird way when a friend starts to make positive changes. Then they have to look at their own behaviors.

    Agreed, I think maybe your friend is projecting some of their own baggage on you. Sometimes it's best to avoid discussing weight loss with friends and family, people have a lot of weird and wonderful ideas about it and you need to do what works for you, if you're eating at a reasonable deficit and are getting adequate nutrition I would just crack on with it.

    I agree especially bolded part. I really don't talk about it too much to people because sometimes people react in ways you would never expect about some aspect of your diet/fitness/routine. I just do what I am doing and if some asks about my weight, I generally just refer them to MFP and drop it. And I use the community hear to talk about my weight loss instead.

    Very sorry you lost a friend, that is really hard :disappointed: But you have to do this for you and your own goals, otherwise it is very hard to stick with it long term. Keep at it, OP.
  • Italiana_xx79
    Italiana_xx79 Posts: 588 Member
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    @ck2d - how long have you being doing Keto? I am just starting and I am still researching it online. How do you like it?
  • Hamsibian
    Hamsibian Posts: 1,388 Member
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    Sometimes there is two sides to the story. It's always easier to see what the other person is doing, and maybe it's like what the others said. But it's also good to look within - have you been talking about your diet a lot? Are you a keto militant? Do you tend to give unwarranted advice? Great if that is not the case, but if it is, then it is a lesson learned from now on.
  • tabletop_joe
    tabletop_joe Posts: 455 Member
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    ck2d wrote: »
    I'm eating keto, and I have 75 pounds to lose. I'm eating about 1700 calories a day.
    Also, I'm "unAmerican" not to eat bread...

    Sorry, I know it's a hard and painful thing to go through. But the "unAmerican" thing made me laugh. XD
  • ck2d
    ck2d Posts: 372 Member
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    Italiana_xx79 wrote: »
    @ck2d - how long have you being doing Keto? I am just starting and I am still researching it online. How do you like it?

    I did Atkins a couple years ago to try to stop eating processed foods, and it was fantastic, I lost 40 pounds. And then life went nuts and I fell off the wagon.
    I've done keto for about 5 weeks and it's been great. I don't know if it's because I'd already done Atkins, but it was much easier to start keto. I only had carb withdrawal for a couple of days.
    It's hard to get all the fat in. But then someone gave me a "light bulb monent" - once you're in ketosis, if you keep the percentages in line and not go over your max allowance of carbs and protein, then your body will use your fat stores as energy. So now I don't worry about getting extra fat in, I just make sure I have fat with everything I eat, for instance, having olive oil based dressing whenever I have salad.
  • ck2d
    ck2d Posts: 372 Member
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    Hamsibian wrote: »
    Sometimes there is two sides to the story. It's always easier to see what the other person is doing, and maybe it's like what the others said. But it's also good to look within - have you been talking about your diet a lot? Are you a keto militant? Do you tend to give unwarranted advice? Great if that is not the case, but if it is, then it is a lesson learned from now on.

    Nope. I actually have never used the word "keto" with this friend. The whole conversation started last week because I have tendinitis in my Achilles tendon and can't go to the gym. My friend has been brainwashed by The Biggest Loser into thinking the only way to lose weight is to spend 8 hours a day in the gym, and I'm visibly losing weight, so I got questioned about how I was doing it. When I answered it was 100% diet, I was asked for tips. And then I got a barrage of "you don't eat oats for breakfast? it's well known that you have to eat oats for breakfast to lose weight" and a whole lot of other nonsense.
    I should have just smiled and shut up. I thought my friend actually wanted to know what I was doing. Instead I got a lot of "I'm really proud of you for making changes, and it's obviously working for you, but you have to change it and do everything I tell you." I wonder if it wasn't so much about worrying about me as annoyance that I wasn't caving to the peer pressure...
  • ck2d
    ck2d Posts: 372 Member
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    tabletop_joe wrote: »

    Sorry, I know it's a hard and painful thing to go through. But the "unAmerican" thing made me laugh. XD

    I know, right?
  • Hamsibian
    Hamsibian Posts: 1,388 Member
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    ck2d wrote: »
    Hamsibian wrote: »
    Sometimes there is two sides to the story. It's always easier to see what the other person is doing, and maybe it's like what the others said. But it's also good to look within - have you been talking about your diet a lot? Are you a keto militant? Do you tend to give unwarranted advice? Great if that is not the case, but if it is, then it is a lesson learned from now on.

    Nope. I actually have never used the word "keto" with this friend. The whole conversation started last week because I have tendinitis in my Achilles tendon and can't go to the gym. My friend has been brainwashed by The Biggest Loser into thinking the only way to lose weight is to spend 8 hours a day in the gym, and I'm visibly losing weight, so I got questioned about how I was doing it. When I answered it was 100% diet, I was asked for tips. And then I got a barrage of "you don't eat oats for breakfast? it's well known that you have to eat oats for breakfast to lose weight" and a whole lot of other nonsense.
    I should have just smiled and shut up. I thought my friend actually wanted to know what I was doing. Instead I got a lot of "I'm really proud of you for making changes, and it's obviously working for you, but you have to change it and do everything I tell you." I wonder if it wasn't so much about worrying about me as annoyance that I wasn't caving to the peer pressure...

    Ah, gotcha! Well, your friend is obviously just buying into the hype. Hopefully when you continue to show progress, it will click in his/her mind that it does not have to be insanely difficult.

    As for the "UnAmerican" bit, you can always remind your friend that the majority of American foods were stolen and bastardized from other cultures. See how that conservation will turn out :p

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