Parents - how do you allow your kids sweets and also foster healthy habits?

Momepro

We decided to divorce sweets from meals by almost never doing "desert" unless it's a special occasion. We do have sweets, but not every day. And we have always encouraged her to save her treats if she isn't hungry for it anymore. That way she never has that eat it now or lose it mentality. She eats a few bites, then puts it in freezer or fridge until the next day. 90% of the time she forgets about it, and we toss it a couple days later.

Luna3386

We eat desserts only on Sundays and birthdays. we learn to have 1 serving and enjoy.

Chef_Barbell

My kids (16, 15, 13, 7)(also a 7 month old but she doesn't eat more than baby food now), eat what they want when they want. They understand moderation and have no weight issues.

Numericmama373

*** My kids have no sensory issues regarding food.

The kids eat what we eat. We eat adult foods. There are no nuggets or replacements.

We don't have desert unless it is a special occasion.

We don't just have treats for them around.

Dad is a body builder and is very conscious of his diet. He models this for the kids.

However, I still have kids licking their finger and sticking it in the sugar bowl. Or asking for treats if dad is not around. Etc. . .

I think the best we can do is model a healthy relationship with ALL foods and then they will make their choice when they are older.

But for gods sake, no bribing to eat. I understand why a parent would want to. My younger son is going to take after my side and he is going to be short. He eats so little. Unless he is going to grow, then he eats a lot. But not very often. If I try and stuff more food down him, it isn't going to make any difference.

It is so hard watching a kid refuse breakfast and lunch. But at least he eats more at dinner,

livingleanlivingclean

ashjongfit wrote: »

I am super careful with my DD's hunger cues and things like sweets. I don't want her being the same way I was as a kid and even as an adult for the most part -- eating just because.

I've noticed since she started eating foods that she knows when to stop, so I never tell her to eat everything. We do have a you must try two bites of whatever is on your plate rule, which mostly works to get her to try new things. Even if shes eating ice cream, she will stop and say shes full half way and walk away. I always want her to keep those cues (I hope.)

I keep ice cream in the house and she is more than welcome to have a serving daily, so long as she's had a reasonable amount of good for you food previously. If she wasn't hungry enough during the day to eat any of her meals, she doesn't get ice cream though.

I don't cut out any foods (we might not keep them in the house to be tempted, but we dont cut them out either.) So sometimes we have sandwiches and chips, she gets a few chips on her tray and also veggies. There are times where she only takes two bites of the veg and eats all the chips and other times where she doesn't eat the chips but eats all the veg.

I just want her not to feel guilty about eating "junk food" but not to want it over better foods all the time. I don't want her to eat just because. I'm hoping that everything I do with her and all that she sees me do will give her some healthy (mentally and otherwise) habits towards food.

Sounds like you and your daughter are both not a good place with food habits

Macy9336

ninerbuff wrote: »

Macy9336 wrote: »

We did sweets once a week on Saturdays...they get to have a chocolate bar or jelly babies or whatever. Then we have dessert on Sundays and Wednesdays. Dessert can be eaten at any time during dinner...before, with or after mains. Snacks are always healthy.

Other than that no sweets,cookies, etc. Except for birthdays because there'd be a birthday cake.

They're teens now and no issue moderating sweet things. One thing we did is once they started getting pocket money we didn't stop them from using it to buy sweets. Our view is it's their money to do with as they please. They did use it to buy extra sweeties now and then but not much...even when they were eight or nine they'd rather wait and get the freebie sweets on Saturday and spend their money elsewhere.

Halloween...they could have as many sweets as they wanted...usually ended up taking them into work or throwing them away because they'd not want them all.

Christmas...kind of a triple sweetie day...they get three sweets in their stockings and there will usually be a box of chocolate biscuits we share as a family.

No one seems deprived. If they felt they were, they have enough cash to buy a dozen chocolate bars a day of their own money.

So odd because I thought you believed that sugar was the worst thing you could ever have in your body.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Nope, fast food is the worst( and we've already established we have different definitions of fast food). Sugar is not a problem so long as you don't get addicted to it.

dutchandkiwi

I can only tell you what we had a children and what my brother used with my nephews.
My mother and brother always had fresh fruit at home as children we were always directed to that if we wanted something. Sweets, as in candy, simply were not in the house. Does not mean that we did not get them but only very very rarely.
As said my brother used the same system with my nephews (now 16 and 20). They love their foods and my older nephew is too big, but that is a quality of food problem, to because he eats candy.

scarlett_k

Just don't use it as a reward, or withhold it as a form of punishment. I think that nurtures a bad relationship with sweets and food in general.

Ironandwine69

I have a 5yo boy. I don't do the "clean your plate" before dessert. I don't want to "teach" him that he HAS to finish what's on his plate. I want him to eat until he feels that is enough.
I don't buy too much sweets. But he can have two small cookies a night. I am a big "everything in moderation". I also make sure he has healthy foods for 99.99% of his daily intake. I don't make a big meal about sweets being bad etc. He is a great eater and has no weight issues.

amusedmonkey

I have no kids, and although I did get fat, sweets and snacks did not really contribute to that so I feel sharing my experience may be helpful. I'm one of these people who can eat one serving of ice cream, chips, or a couple of chocolate truffles and be perfectly satisfied. When I was a child my parents didn't really do the "clean your plate" thing. I just ate what they ate during meals and was not a picky kid, and had a certain amount of pocket money for snacks if I wanted to buy something.

We did not have sweet snacks lying around the house so it was normal to just go and buy whatever I wanted within my pocket money budget. My parents did not really comment on any aspect of my food or snacks. My pocket money could afford me 1-2 single serving packs of something, and I had the option to save some of it if I wanted something bigger/more expensive - they did not tell me that, I just figured it out on my own.

My family was not a soda drinker so we did not have a bottle in the fridge. We only bought it occasionally to have with some occasional meals (like pizza).

My mom made dessert maybe once or twice a month or for special occasions and we enjoyed it together, so eating dessert was a ritualistic occasional act, not a daily occurrence. Some snack foods were only eaten for certain family rituals or occasions, so they felt special and not something I thought about outside of these occasions (like there was a dessert that mom only made on the last day of school before summer break...etc.)

I grew up not feeling like I was missing out on anything (or even thought much about it at all) and still went for single servings of desserts and snacks even at my highest weight. When I decided to start dieting I did not have to change my habits around snacks because my portions were already healthy.

While I wish my parents controlled my intake of other foods in some way, I credit my healthy snacking habits and never developing fear of food to their laid back approach. I was never told foods were "bad", but my snacking was controlled organically through their own snacking habits and environmentally through artificial limits that did not feel like food limits (limits on money, limits on time mom had as a working mom to prepare dessert, limits on frequency of certain foods due to the preferences of the family...etc). It just felt like the normal way to eat, not some imposed feeding system.

Not sure if it's too late to do something like this (I was born into this), and not sure it even works when not everyone is doing the same (most kids I knew grew up with the same system so it did not feel out of the ordinary), but this was my experience, take or leave whatever you wish from it.

Ironandwine69

amusedmonkey wrote: »

I have no kids, and although I did get fat, sweets and snacks did not really contribute to that so I feel sharing my experience may be helpful. I'm one of these people who can eat one serving of ice cream, chips, or a couple of chocolate truffles and be perfectly satisfied. When I was a child my parents didn't really do the "clean your plate" thing. I just ate what they ate during meals and was not a picky kid, and had a certain amount of pocket money for snacks if I wanted to buy something.

We did not have sweet snacks lying around the house so it was normal to just go and buy whatever I wanted within my pocket money budget. My parents did not really comment on any aspect of my food or snacks. My pocket money could afford me 1-2 single serving packs of something, and I had the option to save some of it if I wanted something bigger/more expensive - they did not tell me that, I just figured it out on my own.

My family was not a soda drinker so we did not have a bottle in the fridge. We only bought it occasionally to have with some occasional meals (like pizza).

My mom made dessert maybe once or twice a month or for special occasions and we enjoyed it together, so eating dessert was a ritualistic occasional act, not a daily occurrence. Some snack foods were only eaten for certain family rituals or occasions, so they felt special and not something I thought about outside of these occasions (like there was a dessert that mom only made on the last day of school before summer break...etc.)

I grew up not feeling like I was missing out on anything (or even thought much about it at all) and still went for single servings of desserts and snacks even at my highest weight. When I decided to start dieting I did not have to change my habits around snacks because my portions were already healthy.

While I wish my parents controlled my intake of other foods in some way, I credit my healthy snacking habits and never developing fear of food to their laid back approach. I was never told foods were "bad", but my snacking was controlled organically through their own snacking habits and environmentally through artificial limits that did not feel like food limits (limits on money, limits on time mom had as a working mom to prepare dessert, limits on frequency of certain foods due to the preferences of the family...etc). It just felt like the normal way to eat, not some imposed feeding system.

Not sure if it's too late to do something like this (I was born into this), and not sure it even works when not everyone is doing the same (most kids I knew grew up with the same system so it did not feel out of the ordinary), but this was my experience, take or leave whatever you wish from it.

This reminded of another aspect of it. I was raised to celebrate good things with food( most of us were). I have made a point to decrease that as much as possible. I want to celebrate things with experiences rather than food. One of my biggest goals as far as healthy eating goes is to not treat food as a reward. So instead of going out to eat or bake something to celebrate I have my son pick something he wants to do. For example yesterday was last day of kindergarten, he picked to go play laser tag ( I didn't give him going out for pizza or baking something as an option).

Lounmoun

We don't have dessert daily. It was not something I grew up with and I don't have a big sweet tooth. We have things like ice cream or sweet cereal in the house. We have fruit and yogurt all the time. I probably encourage non-sweet snacks more because that is what I prefer.
We don't buy large amounts of candy. Dd can get some but not a giant bag to constantly snack from.
We have discussed nutrition. There are books and web sites geared toward kids.
As long as my dd eats regular meals she can eat whatever she chooses. If it becomes a problem (eating low nutrition foods instead of meals) then I have a conversation about making better choices. She alters her behavior and it isn't a big issue.

Share what you do with your dd.
Teach her about why you want to limit these foods.

EmbeeKay

Honestly, they don't need it every day or even every week. I have completely stopped having it around (with the exception of a giant bag of semi sweet chocolate chips that I can use for baking and the occasional reward for potty training or something, and they certainly don't have access to that and don't really remember it from day to day). I always buy lots of fruit and they have that on a regular basis.

I figure they get enough added sugar in their diet. For example, once a week we have pancakes for dinner and of course they have syrup on those. The way I see it, I do not need to have packages of cookies and candy around the house and they don't need it either. This way, when grandma and grandpa offers them a treat at their house, or daddy offers them a popsicle on the weekend, I always say, "Sure."

EmbeeKay

And there's not much they can do when you shrug and say, "Sorry, I don't have anything for dessert. You can have some more fruit if you want."

markswife1992

when my cousins were little, my aunt had a rule that they could eat no sweets, no candy, no soda, until saturdays. then they were allowed an ice cream cone, a coke, or another treat that they could choose. they are both very fit to this day, and don't eat alot of sweets. they are in the 40's now.

zdyb23456

When my kids are in school they get small treats just about every day. Usually the teacher will hand out a piece of candy for having a good day. It's small - like a starburst or a dum dum lollipop. I do pack a treat in their lunch like a pouch of fruit snacks or if I have cookies, a cookie.

Otherwise we don't do desserts except on special occasions or if we have lunch with friends a dessert is usually served.

I explain to my kids that candy, sweets, desserts, fast food, chip, soda, etc are treats that are for once in awhile not every day.

On vacation or at parties I'm pretty relaxed... I let them have chips, juice (though I make them stop at 2 juice boxes, then they have to switch to water), and I let them pick 1 dessert.

I'm definitely not a super mom. My kids eat sugary cereal for breakfast, they eat nuggets, mac and cheese, fish sticks, white bread... I'd love to feed them perfectly at every meal, but most days keeping them alive at the end of the day is a win in my book.

ladyhusker39

Letting my kids have sweets in itself fosters a healthy relationship with food. It's not contradictory to that goal.

WendyLeigh1119

For my son (who's now 13)...it was mostly just only having foods that are acceptable in the house. If I'm allowed to eat it, telling them not to eat it isn't going to work.

So I kept all organic foods, no "juice blends" or mixes, no soda ever (but I hate soda, so no issue), no candy or gum.

I let my son have "junk" (soda, candy, gum, juice cocktails, etc on holidays and special events. That's it. He was always (and still is) allowed a balanced after school snack (like if he wants a chocolate chip granola bar, he has to eat an apple as well) + a bedtime snack that can be semi-junky. Like cookies that are natural ingredients (maybe 3 with some milk), occasionally ice cream, or even a bowl of cereal.

If you give them the illusion of "choice" by only buying/offering things that are acceptable to you as the parent, they typically don't battle for control and just accept "something is better than nothing". And if they don't like it....no snack.

I don't push "eat everything on your plate, either because professionals say it fosters unhealthy eating (eating past your body's "full" signals). Instead, I make sure he eats some of everything (has to eat as many of the veggies as the other stuff if he's going tok claim he's "full"). And if he refused to eat a reasonable amount/claims to be full, then he's too full for snack, too.

Now that he's older, it's no problem...but those years of tantrums and begging for junk aren't fun. Just explain that sweets are ok sometimes...but there are healthy AND sweet options like apple-cinnamon rice cake bites (his fav as a small kid) or berries with a scoop of vanilla ice cream instead of Oreos. If you don't make it available, they don't know the difference.

But he's always been a little thin and very tall, so I do push veggie proteins, fresh fruit, and fats because he undereats a bit. He's 5'7 and 125lbs and just turned 13....I'm working on reminding him to eat because it's a "chore" or something (teens, who knows).