So disappointed in myself.

420Carebear420
420Carebear420 Posts: 10 Member
edited November 19 in Motivation and Support
Ugh. Ive been on this app before maybe tried for 2 weeks and then stopped just like always. I am here AGAIN because i f..uc..king GAINED 40 pounds. OMG. im now 305 pounds im sickening. I am disgusted. But its like even though i feel that way i still cabt keep motivated. I want to eat what i want when i want. I dont want to exercise and be tired all the time. I just want to be blessed thin. Ugh ok enough crying.... Yall.. Please. Help. Me. What can i do to stay motivated and actually work my butt off?? I hate when people say JUST DO IT well duh. BUT I MEAN SERIOUSLY

Replies

  • megdnoorman
    megdnoorman Posts: 282 Member
    There really isn't any trick that can make you stay on track. You have to choose to do it and when you have a bad day, don't let it derail you.

    I find doing challenges helpful, and accountability partners in real life and on this site.

    Start by focusing on food and eating at a mild deficit, like losing 1 lb a week instead of two. This will make it feel less restrictive so it will be easier to stay on track.

    Once you master eating at a deficit, try finding an exercise that you like. Even if it's just adding a 15 min walk to your day. Once you master that, step it up and increase to 25 mins, etc. consider taking a dance class or joining community sports or something you might find fun and that has other people (for accountability).

    Don't try and do it all at once, think of it as building habits. Don't work on building a new habit until you've mastered the last one.

    Remember that weight loss isn't linear.

    Good luck!
  • Numericmama373
    Numericmama373 Posts: 125 Member
    I have to focus on really small things. And build habits. The less thinking I have to do the better.

    For example: same breakfast every day - cottage cheese, orange, banana AND 3 cups of coffee. :)

    I'm making a big satisfying salad that I can eat for 4 days.

    I sprinkle in some fibrous fruits. And make a family dinner that I weigh out and limit myself on.

    And I am exercising at my level (not much compared to most people) 5 x a week.

    I started out just with the exercise, because the food thing overwhelms me, which is why I am standardizing my meals.

    So, it actually is working. I am retaining water and I still lost .5 pounds so far this week. My goal is only .5 - 1 # a week because I don't want to be too restrictive.
  • gearhead426hemi
    gearhead426hemi Posts: 919 Member
    I found that try to find something that makes working out fun. Most people hate to workout so find a physical activity you enjoy and start with that. Mountain biking, kayaking, hiking are all great workouts that get you moving but also allow you to explore new places. I know its hard but try not to think of it as working out or dieting but as getting happier and healthier. Find reasons to motivate you to work for it. Everyone has those days where they just don't feel like working out or eating right. Don't beat yourself up on those days just try to stay focused. Best of luck and if you want encouragement or support feel free to add me.
  • xxdashax
    xxdashax Posts: 7 Member
    A key thing to remember is that you won't see changes right away, it's been around 6 months for me and I finally have reached my goal weight. At the time I felt like nothing was happening but following MFP and tracking everything over time makes a huge difference! Don't give up!
  • tennileb
    tennileb Posts: 265 Member
    You tried MFP before! that is awesome, you are not starting over from zero, you already know how to access it, it's not a strange scary thing.

    Breaking up with un-health is like leaving a bad relationship, you want to leave, but it will be hard, it will hurt, you will have to give up things and worse of all you will have to change (I hate change) . But over time with each fight in the bad relationship you start to build up more and more reason to leave, and one day staying is more painful then leaving. you don't have to start, you can choose to stand still, but you can also choose to start planning, start thinking about what could change. Why do you want to change why do you need to change.

    Health is not all or nothing either, you don't have to commit to perfection, start with one small change, one small step.


    My tough love tip, stop with the self depreciating talk, even if you don't believe it start framing your words more positively and in line with your goals. Yes you will have to change, and you will have to mourn the loss of eating what you want when you want, focus on what you will gain. if you talk about yourself (or your weight) as disgusting, you devalue yourself, and who would put in effort for something they don't value.

    congrats on restarting your journey
  • tri_bob
    tri_bob Posts: 121 Member
    It sounds like you have a goal of being thin. It also sounds like you acknowledge that achieving that goal will require changes to your lifestyle, but that you're finding it difficult to make those changes. This isn't surprising. Doing easy things, even things we know are not in our best interest ... is still easy. Making a change can be difficult, but that doesn't mean that it has to be a grind, all the time.

    Most people who have experienced success making changes haven't done it by eating nothing but salads and working out all day every day. As has been mentioned above, motivation is fleeting. As has also been mentioned, trying to do everything all at once is not only unlikely to be productive, it's instead likely to be counterproductive. If you're exhausted and hate what you're eating, you're unlikely to continue.

    Start small. Decide on one change, and make that change. It can be anything: park a few spots further away than necessary when you go someplace, have a side salad instead of fries, use the stairs instead of an escalator at the mall, whatever. Do that one thing until you're comfortable with it, and then introduce a new thing. Maybe you'll get to the point where you can tackle multiple changes at once. Habits are important, and can be difficult to change. For most of us, gradual is the way to go.

    We do what feels good, and avoid what doesn't. Talk to anybody you know who runs regularly, but started doing it later in life as a means to the end of "getting in shape." Odds are, that person could describe their history with running something like this:
    1. I hate running.
    2. I can tolerate running.
    3. I sort of like running.
    4. I love running!
    5. I, uh ... need running, and get a little squirrelly when I don't run.
    Nobody, at least nobody that I know (myself included), starts at #5. Some people never get past #1, at least not with running. Riding a bike, doing Zumba or other group classes, whatever. If you find something you like doing, or at least don't actively dislike, you're more likely to continue. Same with food. You don't want to eat kale and tofu at every meal? Don't. Maybe seek out leaner meats to start with, then later less meat in general. Shift from fried foods to baked, or swap at least some snack food with fruit. Small changes, particularly ones that are overall pleasant, can pave the way for gradually bigger changes.

    Finally, a side-note: Negative self-talk is powerful. It can have the insidious effect of discouraging positive change while simultaneously dismissing any positive changes you do make. Be mindful of that negative self-talk, and if you can't stop yourself from using it, maybe find someone who can help with that, as well. This kind of change is hard enough, without having to fend off a peanut gallery inside your own head.

    $.02 from the cheap seats, and as ever your mileage may vary.
  • babscan73
    babscan73 Posts: 18 Member
    My friend started up a FB page for others that are curvy and need support - feel free to follow her page: https://www.facebook.com/TheCurvyCanuck
  • goldbergrr
    goldbergrr Posts: 9 Member
    The struggle is real! I just finished up my master's degree AND you bet I gained nearly 20 lbs from the stress eating. You're not alone. The journey to fitness and health is never over, which is a better thing than it sounds. You always have an opportunity to start fresh, whatever that means for you. Don't think that you've failed - you haven't! The journey is ongoing. Start with small steps. Sometimes we backtrack and that's ok. Don't beat yourself up, just keep doing your best. If you hate exercise, find a type that's more efficient so that you can work just as hard but for not as long. It's what I do! I'm doing 21 Day Fix right now, all 30-minute works with some nice variety. And sometimes it's better to do the hard thing, go through the motions even though it sucks, because starting the workout in the first place is half the battle, amirite?
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  • CTcutie
    CTcutie Posts: 649 Member
    If you do things properly (weighing food, trying to make better food choices when you can, drink adequate water, etc.) and start to lose you will see WHY it's worth it. Your mind will adjust (its sometimes a slow process- weeks, months), but you will start to see that eating whatever/whenever will seem less appealing than having your clothes fit better, more energy, better mood, measurements going down, etc. It doesn't happen overnight, but it will happen. In 6 months from now, you can weigh the same (or more than you do now), or you can feel better and see the scale go down... Hang in there :-)
  • mandy_godfree
    mandy_godfree Posts: 72 Member
    Keep your goals small and take it meal by meal. Find an activity you really enjoy and decide whether you want to be active alone or with others. Do you want to be part of a class or will you be motivated to be active yourself? Do you think you could look after a dog? Not for everyone because they're a huge commitment but a dog would get you out walking every day and if you didn't walk it you know you'd be letting the dog down. You'd probably meet other dog owners so it not only becomes activity but Social as well.
    If you don't log properly one day, just start again the next. Be honest with yourself about what you're eating and log everything. It's easy to forget to log drinks. But some drinks contain a lot of calories.
    Find a buddy to help you through on the tough days, and think about it in terms of lifestyle change for the long term rather than a diet.
  • Heather4448
    Heather4448 Posts: 908 Member
    1.) Weigh and log ALL your intake. Set your calories at maintenance.
    2.) Take a walk everyday.

    Do this everyday for a month. Next month, add another physical activity. The month after that lower your calories a bit.
    Baby steps. Slow, sustainable changes.
  • aylajane
    aylajane Posts: 979 Member
    One of the best quotes floating around here that resonates with me is something like this:

    You would agree that weighing 305 pounds is hard right? You are not happy with yourself right?

    You would agree that losing weight is hard right? You will not be happy not eating EVERYthing you want right?

    "Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Pick your hard." If both paths are going to be hard, pick the one that gets you where you want to be instead of the one that keeps you in a hard place. Then suck it up, have a pity party the whole time if you want, but do it.

    The other one is "You can have ANYTHING you want. You just cant have EVERYTHING you want." Thats life, dont act like you are the center of the uiverse and deserve everything you want. Learn from MFP - it is possible to have many of the foods you want, often. You just dont get everything the way you want. Suck it up.

    Good luck. You are no different than anyone else. Change only happens when the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of changing. Are you to that point yet? Do you want to wait until you are?
  • tennileb
    tennileb Posts: 265 Member
    ps. I'm more tired when I don't exercise. the first week or two was more draining as my body adjusted to frequent exercise but seriously your body will adjust quick and exercise actually ends up making you feel more energetic and helps with sleep.
  • distinctlybeautiful
    distinctlybeautiful Posts: 1,041 Member
    The way you talk about yourself and think about yourself (because thinking is essentially talking to yourself) is so important. Words shape reality. Like someone already said, why would you be inclined to take care of yourself if you don't value yourself. One way to think about changing this is to think about how you would react if someone else were to say those things to you. Most people wouldn't stick around long to listen to that kind of abuse. Or to think about what you would tell a dear friend or even a child if they were in your situation. It's unlikely you'd say such terrible things to them, so why is it ok to do that to yourself? It's not! If you can find a way to start being kinder to yourself, I think you may find yourself in a better mindset to make changes. One of my favorite quotes ever is this: "and i said to my body. softly. 'i want to be your friend.' it took a long breath. and replied, 'i have been waiting my whole life for this.'"
  • RedAphrodite
    RedAphrodite Posts: 1 Member
    edited June 2017
    Listen to the "half size me" podcast. It has changed my life. Yes, you lose weight with healthy food choices and exercise, but you have to fix what's going on in your head to truly succeed.
  • livinlolita
    livinlolita Posts: 3 Member
    You are not alone. I gained some weight since last time I logged in. Now I'm back again. Believe me it's hard. I can use some motivation myself. So if you want, you can add me and we both can motivate each other.
  • DebLaBounty
    DebLaBounty Posts: 1,169 Member
    Set a goal. Why not make it a game with yourself? Challenge yourself to take a 30 minute walk every day for 1 month, for example. You might find that it makes you tired for the first 5 days, but then you might look forward to it. Just see that you can do it! After a while, you will find that a daily walk is restorative, it may actually give you more energy than laying around all the time. And you'll probably sleep better, too.
  • foreverslim1111
    foreverslim1111 Posts: 2,632 Member
    Such incredible wisdom in these posts. If OP reads these and takes them to heart, she will succeed. I've lost 20 bs following these principles OP. You can also.
  • bellabella1983
    bellabella1983 Posts: 62 Member
    Add me
  • ErikaHope203
    ErikaHope203 Posts: 113 Member
    edited June 2017
    Set small goals for yourself! It's really about a lifestyle change and it's not easy to change overnight. I am finding it very difficult to stay motivated recently - not exercising as much and having a hard time staying at my calorie allowance. The beginning always seems extremely overwhelming. I can relate to not wanting to exercise or wanting to eat what I want without worrying about it. I've never been be type of person who enjoys working out! I have to kinda "force" myself. Baby steps. Feel free to add me as a friend
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