Am liking the scales but not the mirror

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Spitspot81
Spitspot81 Posts: 208 Member
in Goal: Maintaining Weight
So I am looking for advice, but am not sure if anyone will be able to relate to my issues.

I am at a healthy weight of 125lbs..I am 5.4 and 35 years old. Back when I started I knew that 125lbs would be a great number, in fact it's the lightest I have been for years.

However I am unhappy with what I see in the mirror, in fact I feel that I look a lot larger than the scale weight.

I lift 5 times per week and am very active in my steps. My upper body is very toned, my legs are certainly gaining some definition , but I feel so wide around the midriff...this is clearly where I hold my fat.

I have been lifting for years and so am
Definitely not a beginner. Do I just accept that I will always be wide around the waist..do I reduce calories further-I am concerned I may look gaunt up top. Or do I incorporate some different exercises into my routine in order to lose inches around my tummy?

Any input gratefully received
Thanks
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Replies

  • Spitspot81
    Spitspot81 Posts: 208 Member
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    Thanks for your reply. I understand what you are saying!! Yeah maybe I need a kick up the rear and more accurate logging and tracking, with a calorie reduction.

    I follow a bikini body guide which in general follows 2 x upper 2 x lower and 1 full body. I use free weights and cable machines.
  • cqbkaju
    cqbkaju Posts: 1,011 Member
    edited June 2017
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    My advice on the "bikini body" goal is to make sure you are lifting somewhere in the 5RM to 8RM range and focus on compound lifts.
    Focusing on isolation work when you do not have a strong foundation can take you years to hit your goals, if ever.
    Coaches refer to that as "Majoring in the minors..."

    I recommend "Thinner Leaner Stronger" for most women.
    https://www.amazon.com/Thinner-Leaner-Stronger-Building-Ultimate/dp/B00DC33C9S
  • toxikon
    toxikon Posts: 2,384 Member
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    One thing to remember is that you don't have much control over your body shape - if you're an Apple shape, you're not going to change into an Hourglass shape with exercise or weight loss.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
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    cqbkaju wrote: »
    toxikon wrote: »
    One thing to remember is that you don't have much control over your body shape - if you're an Apple shape, you're not going to change into an Hourglass shape with exercise or weight loss.
    That is a fallacy that is propagated by people who are adverse to hard work or prefer to make excuses.

    Show me a woman at 15% or 20% body fat and "Apple" shaped and then we will talk.

    Until then, I call BS.

    toxicon is basically saying you cannot change your body shape/frame structure with exercise or losing fat. you can improve how your body looks but if you have wide hips or wide shoulders you cannot change that.so if you have a wide set waist you can lose the fat on your waist/belly are but it doesnt mean it will get smaller.
  • cqbkaju
    cqbkaju Posts: 1,011 Member
    edited June 2017
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    @CharlieBeansmomTracey

    I think I understand what you are saying but by definition...
    If you lose enough fat (thus shrinking your belly and body fat to say, 18%), have wider "birthing" hips, and ANY breastesess at all (with or without "wide shoulders"), wouldn't that result in more of an "hourglass" than an "Apple" shape?

    Even with no bewbies, an "Apple" or "Pear" shape is not in the cards.
    Sorry, but most of that is adipose tissue, not "hip bone"...

    At least "Pics or it didn't happen." You may still not convince me, but we can debate it.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
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    cqbkaju wrote: »
    @CharlieBeansmomTracey

    I think I understand what you are saying but by definition...
    If you lose fat on your abdomen (thus shrinking your belly and body fat to say, 18%), have wider hips, and ANY breastesess at all, wouldn't that result in more of an "hourglass" than an "Apple" shape?

    not always,because they still may have a wider set of hips making their waist wider. when fat(even before that) I was more of a pear shape,I lost weight and a lot of fat and am still a pear shape.since I carry most of my weight from the waist down..Im at about 24% fat compared to probably 40-50% fat before. I have always been shaped like this even before kids. the only thing that is bigger is my hips(cause having kids can change things).even at my lowest weight I had big hips and thighs.my belly is close to being flat too.

    the only exceptions in how your body structure change is if you are still growing,or you are pregnant then your body structure can change. but just gaining fat/weight over your frame and losing it is not going to change bone structure. if you were an apple shape before you gained weight(bigger hips,waist and bust),then losing weight may not change that much.you could still stay an apple shape(which doesnt mean round) even at a low body weight/fat percentage.

    its like a thigh gap some women have them naturally and some no matter what they do will not have one. you can sculpt your body to give the illusion you are an hour glass shape which is what I think you are saying. its all about weight distribution too you can look like you are one shape when you are another.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,716 Member
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    cqbkaju wrote: »
    @CharlieBeansmomTracey

    I think I understand what you are saying but by definition...
    If you lose enough fat (thus shrinking your belly and body fat to say, 18%), have wider "birthing" hips, and ANY breastesess at all (with or without "wide shoulders"), wouldn't that result in more of an "hourglass" than an "Apple" shape?

    Even with no bewbies, an "Apple" or "Pear" shape is not in the cards.
    Sorry, but most of that is adipose tissue, not "hip bone"...

    At least "Pics or it didn't happen." You may still not convince me, but we can debate it.

    I actually agree with BOTH of you. The key here, IMHO, is the body fat %. I do consider myself a pear shape, but with lifting my shape has evened out.

    It's hard to maintain a very low body fat percentage, though, so if I put on a few pounds, of course it goes to my hips and thighs. If I stay very strict then my lower half is proportionate to my top half.
  • collectingblues
    collectingblues Posts: 2,541 Member
    edited June 2017
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    CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »

    toxicon is basically saying you cannot change your body shape/frame structure with exercise or losing fat. you can improve how your body looks but if you have wide hips or wide shoulders you cannot change that.so if you have a wide set waist you can lose the fat on your waist/belly are but it doesnt mean it will get smaller.

    Bingo. I'm somewhere between 16 and 20 percent body fat, according to calipers. I have very little fat on my arms, none on my calves, and very little on my thighs and back. It is almost all in my torso. I'm short waisted with a wide rib cage. Dieting or recomp aren't going to change where genetics said my frame is going to fall.

    I cannot change my bone structure -- quite literally at this point, you can see bones through my back/shoulders/back side of the rib cage. I'm still an apple -- a small apple, I suppose, but still an apple. My measurements are in the ballpark of 34.5 (chest)-28/29 (waist)-34.5 (hips). So I suppose maybe an hourglass, but not by much. For tops and A-line dresses, I usually can get away with a small or XS (and sometimes need less, when it's available). For shorts/pants/skirts, either a 27 (denim) or a 4. But for dresses and swimsuits that actually go over my waist? I have to go up to an 8.

    And at this point, short of actually shaving the fat off and surgically attaching it elsewhere, I can't physically change how I am built.

  • cqbkaju
    cqbkaju Posts: 1,011 Member
    edited June 2017
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    I'm not willing to debate it with you now, sorry.
    Like I said, if you get down to around 18% and still feel like you are fruit shaped then we can discuss it then.

    "about 24% fat" is a long way from being hydrostatically weighed and demonstrated to be within 15% to 20% body fat.

    None of the "pear shaped" women I have ever known or coached who did the work to get into the 18% range looked remotely apple or pear shaped in the end. Their bust sizes did shrink a bit, but that is to be expected.

    Wider hips or a thigh gap due to bone shape or density does not affect your body composition.
    Furthermore, it rarely affects your overall appearance as dramatically as some people want to think, unless you are competing on a stage.

    Put muscle on those thighs and few people would ever noticed the "gap".
    It is hard work, but it can be done.
    Weight distribution excuses go out the window when you actually drop the additional 10lbs or 15lbs of fat you didn't realize you were carrying or "distributing".
  • cqbkaju
    cqbkaju Posts: 1,011 Member
    edited June 2017
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    collectingblues wrote: »
    Bingo. I'm somewhere between 16 and 20 percent body fat, according to calipers. I have very little fat on my arms, none on my calves, and very little on my thighs and back

    1) 16%-20% is a very large range in itself but until you have it professionally measured your claim is dubious.
    You are using the calipers wrong if that is your measurement range

    2) "you can see bones through my back/shoulders/back side of the rib cage" tells me you have no muscle mass. Again, you are using the calipers wrong. Caliper use presumes muscle mass.
    They are suitable for tracking changes but are never used to accurately measure body fat percentage.

    3) "And at this point, short of actually shaving the fat off and surgically attaching it elsewhere, I can't physically change how I am built."
    Try putting on some muscle and cutting your body fat percentage instead of thinking of "moving" fat.

    If you are worried about how you are built then the phrase "Built like a brick sh-house" comes to mind... Aim for that by lifting weights.

    Every case have seen like yours is based on a woman being waif thin but still high in body fat {relatively-speaking} while thinking they have adequate muscle mass.
  • cqbkaju
    cqbkaju Posts: 1,011 Member
    edited June 2017
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    BZAH10 wrote: »
    It's hard to maintain a very low body fat percentage, though, so if I put on a few pounds, of course it goes to my hips and thighs. If I stay very strict then my lower half is proportionate to my top half.
    Thank you for the confirmation and congratulations on your achievements.
    I appreciate how hard and discouraging it can be at times.

  • Keladelphia
    Keladelphia Posts: 820 Member
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    Trying a slight deficit to lose fat in your middle might not be a bad idea, you still have about 15 pounds of wiggle room before you'd technically be considered "underweight." When I still had some fat I wanted to lose around my hips/thighs but my upper body was getting too gaunt looking for my liking I cut down to a little thinner than I liked and then bulked with an emphasis on upper body. When I did a slow cut at the end I definitely noticed a reduction in body fat on my hip/thigh areas but didn't look gaunt up top anymore because of the upper body muscle mass I added.

    Also, i'm 17% body fat and i'd consider myself pear shaped. Wide hips + zero boobs = pear even when your body fat is low-ish.
  • Rusty740
    Rusty740 Posts: 749 Member
    edited June 2017
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    I'm with @cqbkaju on this one.

    What I'm reading says you actually are a beginner lifter and could really improve with dialing that in and really paying attention to the program and progressive overload. Have a look here to see where you're at. Maybe you really are Intermediate, but I'm guessing not and that means you could seriously gain.
    http://strengthlevel.com/strength-standards/female/lb

    I think in particular you could benefit from a program that has Barbell Overhead Press in it a couple times per week and that you up your 1RM over the next few months.

    What I would have liked to see in your previous posts was...

    I follow a bikini lifting program with upper/lower full body (or something) and my squat has gone from XX to XX+, my OHP has gone from XX to XX+, my bench has gone from XX to XX+, and my deadlift has gone from XX to XX+

    Nail this and problem solved IMO. :)
  • cqbkaju
    cqbkaju Posts: 1,011 Member
    edited June 2017
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    Keladelphia wrote: »
    Also, i'm 17% body fat and i'd consider myself pear shaped. Wide hips + zero boobs = pear even when your body fat is low-ish.
    If you consider yourself to be "pear shaped" just because you have a smaller bust size then we are at an impasse.

    You and I must have distinctly different ideas of what a pear shaped woman looks like.
    Based on your profile picture, you are in the "brick sh-house" category I mentioned.

    I think most men would agree with me. Your body image and my impression of it are not even close.

    I guess if your pictures are of you at around 17% body fat and that is now what is meant by "pear shaped" then I am wrong.

    I will concede the point and shut up now.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
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    I will just say that I am at a smaller size in the 160s weight range than I was around 140.I do have decent muscle in my calves and thighs,and again still what they would call a pear shape. my measurements are 34-27-37. my waist size in my teens was 25 inches. Im now 27 inches. I lift so yeah it has changed how my body "looks" but I still store fat in the same places and not much has changed except that Im a smaller version at a higher weight.
  • cqbkaju
    cqbkaju Posts: 1,011 Member
    edited June 2017
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    CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »
    I still store fat in the same places and not much has changed except that Im a smaller version at a higher weight.
    Yes, no disagreement there, Ms. Tracey.

    Solution? Cut the amount of fat you are storing by a sufficient amount and the location of storage will not matter much.
    It is not simple or easy, but it can be done, has been done and shall be done again.
    That is all I am saying.

    If your assertion is that you are "pear shaped" or some such simply based on something like the width of your hips, regardless of how much body fat or muscle mass you have then we will have to agree to disagree.

    I would assert that "pear shaped" may be a matter of aesthetics and appearance.

    Therefore...
    Since I am I guy and you are a woman, how attractive and sexy "I" (i.e. your Significant Other, other hetro guys, other women who are attracted to their own gender, etc.) think you are is more important in this instance than your opinion of how you feel you look or your self-image / body image.

    "I" am a better, more impartial judge of "your" aesthetics, just like "you" are the better judge of "mine."
    So "I" am sticking with my evaluation of what a "pear shaped woman" looks like over yours. B)
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
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    cqbkaju wrote: »
    CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »
    I still store fat in the same places and not much has changed except that Im a smaller version at a higher weight.
    Yes, no disagreement there, Ms. Tracey.

    Solution? Cut the amount of fat you are storing by a sufficient amount and the location of storage will not matter much.
    It is not simple or easy, but it can be done, has been done and shall be done again.
    That is all I am saying.

    If your assertion is that you are "pear shaped" or some such simply based on something like the width of your hips, regardless of how much body fat or muscle mass you have then we will have to agree to disagree.

    I would assert that "pear shaped" may be a matter of aesthetics and appearance.

    Therefore...
    Since I am I guy and you are a woman, how attractive and sexy "I" (i.e. your Significant Other, other hetro guys, other women who are attracted to their own gender, etc.) think you are is more important in this instance than your opinion of how you feel you look or your self-image / body image.

    "I" am a better, more impartial judge of "your" aesthetics.
    So "I" am sticking with my definition of "pear shaped" over yours. B)

    and your opinion of me or other women is not going to be the same as other mens/womens opinions. but then again for me I dont care what others think.I have things Im working on to improve and Im doing it for me and me only. my health has improved and Im in better shape to me that is the most important thing.

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