Food as a reward or comfort

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natashab61
natashab61 Posts: 103 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Hi all,

Someone told me to stop treating food as a treat or reward or comfort. This is an association I have reinforced for myself multiple times over the last 5 years. I know food should be thought of as fuel for our body and not as a thing to get pleasure from. So I am wondering how did people who have started to weaken food's association with comfort and reward ....how did you do it?
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Replies

  • natashab61
    natashab61 Posts: 103 Member
    edited June 2017
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    kommodevaran wrote: »
    I have heard this too, but I think it's wrong. Food is indeed meant to be pleasurable. But not to be used as a reward, or as comfort. My relationship with food changed as I looked at it and treated it differently. Now I plan meals, only things I want to eat, and I eat at designated times and locations. I'm not restrictive (an attitude that made me rebel in the past), but selective. I aim to get in good nutrition, I portion it out appropriately, but I'm flexible. I'm enjoying food a lot more now, without worries of weight gain or health issues caused by eating he "wrong" food. Eating just because I can, because I'm bored or upset, and just because there is food available, has become redundant with this attitude and these habits.

    Hi agree with you but I am not sure how you do this in practise. It feels like a place far away. How do I get there? What are some actionable items you used to get here? How do I get to acknowledging I am bored so I am eating? What should I replace it with?
  • kommodevaran
    kommodevaran Posts: 17,890 Member
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    natashab61 wrote: »
    kommodevaran wrote: »
    I have heard this too, but I think it's wrong. Food is indeed meant to be pleasurable. But not to be used as a reward, or as comfort. My relationship with food changed as I looked at it and treated it differently. Now I plan meals, only things I want to eat, and I eat at designated times and locations. I'm not restrictive (an attitude that made me rebel in the past), but selective. I aim to get in good nutrition, I portion it out appropriately, but I'm flexible. I'm enjoying food a lot more now, without worries of weight gain or health issues caused by eating he "wrong" food. Eating just because I can, because I'm bored or upset, and just because there is food available, has become redundant with this attitude and these habits.

    Hi agree with you but I am not sure how you do this in practise. It feels like a place far away. How do I get there? What are some actionable items you used to get here? How do I get to acknowledging I am bored so I am eating? What should I replace it with?

    I have done a lot of things, and I'm continually working on it. I joined MFP in December 2013, and I'm still learning, every day. I must accept that I have emotions, but also that food is just food and cannot make things better. I learnt about my nutritional needs (through MFP) and my personal hunger/craving/satiety cues ("the hunger scale" is a good place to start). I read a lot about food and the mind. I don't buy stuff I don't intend to eat (so even though I think I want something, I simply can't eat it). I often think I want food, but I know I have eaten enough, and I don't really want food, I just want something easy and yummy. I eat delicious and balanced meals, and really pay attention to how they taste and how I feel, before, during and after eating, and compare with what and how and why I used to eat before - I don't miss the old ways at all.

    Lots of I-sentences, sorry about that :#
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,015 Member
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    There is a lot of great info on this site that can help with this. I learned so much from reading on this site. It's also a good way to distract myself when food is on my mind.

    Right up until someone mentions cheesecake or Snickers. :neutral:
  • philyflyazz
    philyflyazz Posts: 26 Member
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    I've noticed with me every treat or cheat meal leads to a big binge eating and throws me off track and I always gain after a treat meal so I would save the once every blue moon indulging for when you hit your goal weight
  • niniundlapin
    niniundlapin Posts: 327 Member
    edited June 2017
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    I do this from a more nutrition-oriented way... I consider myself a behaved-eater now, and most of the credits come from logging food in MFP. At first I looked at just macros, like most people who want to lose weight. But then my health checkups came back with a few "above-normal-range" numbers plus I had some skin issues. Those made me looked back what I really ate- enough protein (I tend to eat more starchy carbs)? Too much refined sugar? Too much dietary cholesterol (still trying to see if this would make any difference to my next checkup)? Enough fiber? Enough green leafy veggies?

    When I stand in front of an entire aisle of chips (used to be my favorite snack), I ask myself: do you need this physically or mentally? Is there something else you also like to eat but more nutritious? Are you going to feel anxious if you don't have this at home? What would your sodium intake going to be for the day if you eat this?

    I literally do that when I stare at my favorite brands of chocolate and ice cream. Of course, I'm just a normal human female and this works for about 70% of the time. I do let myself "loosen up a bit" once a while for an extra chocolate chip cookie or something else and forget to log them (cuz I don't even remember what I eat), especially during my monthly flooding events, but that's it. Other than those days, I don't consider things I eat as "treats" or "rewards" because I plan to have them in my daily allowance (that includes ice cream and chocolate-based products).

    It's a lifestyle I do enjoy, but it came a long way with lots of reading and understanding about nutrition.
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,214 Member
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    I still use food as comfort when I'm really stressed. I'm not sure that will ever go away for me and am not even 100% sure it should. But that's rare enough that it has only a minor impact on my weight.

    I no longer eat when I'm bored and I don't use food as a reward. I think just the process of logging and trying to squeeze in my goal amounts of fruits, vegetables and protein each day instilled new habits. My good habits may go out the window when I'm feeling overwhelmed, but I'm right back to them the minute things ease up.

  • ogtmama
    ogtmama Posts: 1,403 Member
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    I've tried to find foods that feel like a reward but are healthier choices...like sushi lunch instead of chocolate cake and ice cream. Or I reward myself with experiences like pedicures, or things like a new top that fits now when it wouldn't have before.

    I also keep sugar free chocolate pudding and dark chocolate squares for emergencies...they stave off thecravings but are difficult to binge on.
  • ogtmama
    ogtmama Posts: 1,403 Member
    edited June 2017
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    Also try to remind yourself that comforting yourself with food only feels good for a fleeting second...the disappointment (and calories) last much much longer. Instead of getting rid of a problem, you've added two more.
  • nowine4me
    nowine4me Posts: 3,985 Member
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    Food is fuel AND a pleasure. Much of our social lives revolve around food (and drink). It's your choice whether that's a cheeseburger, fries and beer --or grilled chicken, vegetables and Perrier.

    Losing weight DOES NOT have to be miserable. Just take it slow and enjoy the ride.
  • sexymamadraeger
    sexymamadraeger Posts: 239 Member
    edited June 2017
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    I started out by eating on a schedule and eating the same foods pretty much every day. I eat very clean and I did it cold turkey. It's helpful to toss out your trigger foods and don't even go there. The hardest for me to give up was bread and soda. The cravings were bad for about 3 weeks and then for the most part they went away. But the cravings were on a schedule. Whenever I was in the habit of grabbing a coke or eating a cookie my brain still remembered. So that craving would kick in. So here's the thing. You have to figure out what's a craving and what's truly hunger. Eating on a schedule worked well for me. I ignored hunger pains for the most part so I could figure out what was real hunger and what was craving. I learned that if I was truly hunger a piece of turkey took care of it. If I was craving a piece of turkey did nothing. Then I had to distract myself with an activity. It really is all about habits and retraining your brain. Also, losing weight is a journey. As you lose your view of food changes a whole lot. It becomes something enjoyable but not something you plan celebrations around.
  • spiffychick85
    spiffychick85 Posts: 311 Member
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    I tended to overeat if I was bored. So what I do now is take whatever snack it is out of the kitchen and move it to the dining table. I walk around the house for 5 minutes and reevaluate if I still want the snack. This helps two ways 1. I get more steps in and 2. I've had time to figure out if I'm truly hungry. If I still want it, I log it and eat it. I basically had to teach myself to slowdown and be in the moment when it comes to eating.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,022 Member
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    philyflyazz wrote: »
    I've noticed with me every treat or cheat meal leads to a big binge eating and throws me off track and I always gain after a treat meal so I would save the once every blue moon indulging for when you hit your goal weight
    b b


    I personally dont have a problem with concept of food being pleasurable nor with it being a reward or a comfort - for ME, I can do that within my calorie allowance and therefore not a problem - and since I do love chocolate and cheesecake, this works for me

    But if it is a bad habit for you and leads to binging, I guess you need to look at alternatives.

  • ijsantos2005
    ijsantos2005 Posts: 306 Member
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    "Don't reward yourself with food, you're not a dog."
  • amusedmonkey
    amusedmonkey Posts: 10,330 Member
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    kommodevaran wrote: »
    In case it hasn't been emphasized yet - at any rate, I feel strongly about this - do not reward yourself for "eating well" or exercising. If you need a reward for "following your diet" and moving, it's not your diet, but someone else's, and you may be exhausting yourself. This may well go against the common practice of rewarding weight loss with a pedicure and that sort of thing. Eating well and staying active should feel good, and be something we just do; a better diet and moving more implies losing weight if you're overweight and maintaining weight if you're at a healthy weight. Having a healthy and functioning body - and using it - feels good and should be considered normal. It takes an effort in this day and age, but I think it may mess with our heads to think of weight management as an achievement.

    I can't agree enough with this. Some people do well with a reward system, I don't do well on it even if it's not food-based. Having a reward system de-normalizes what I'm doing for me. I want to feel like what I'm doing is my normal everyday life. It's not a journey off into some different life, a heroic uphill climb which I'm awesome enough to manage, or an out of the ordinary occurrence that needs to be lauded. Thinking of dieting in that light makes it harder for me.

    As for rewards, I reward myself randomly with things (food and otherwise) just because I deserve happy moments regardless of how my diet is going, and I don't consider finding food pleasurable to be a bad thing. I celebrate with food sometimes, and it's an important part of some of my rituals, which is normal and okay.

    Comfort eating, now I'm of two minds about that. I don't consider comfort eating a bad thing. Food is comforting and pleasurable by nature. It starts to become a problem when it's used as a not very successful alternative to more successful coping mechanisms. I believe it can be a source of comfort and pleasure, but not when it makes things worse. It's a fine line and a lot of mental work and practice needs to be put into it not to cross that line.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
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    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/orion-talmay/conquer-emotional-eating-with-these-12-weird-tricks_b_5471268.html

    Some of these work for me, esp #4 and #5 and #10
    1. Change the story you are telling yourself.
    You are talking to yourself all day long. Not out loud, but inside your head. That little voice never shuts up! It incessantly overanalyzes, self-criticizes, disempowers and misinterprets. If the erroneous story you tell yourself is “I feel deprived when I avoid eating snacks,” then change it to something more empowering like “I’m proud of myself for taking care of my body and saying no to these unhealthy snacks!” Making a conscious choice to change the story you tell yourself will change your brain’s interpretation of the situation and induce positive emotions. It sure beats the flood of negative emotions that the old story would have induced. This takes practice, so don’t give up when you slip back into the negative self-talk! Simply jump back on the wagon. For those of you into psychology, you may be already familiar with this re-framing technique as cognitive behavioral therapy or CBT.

    And if you still hear your inner critic calling you “fat” or ridiculing you for your appearance, then try this exercise: First, tell your inner critic, “Thank you for sharing,” and then close your eyes and imagine a more pleasant sounding inner voice saying something positive and empowering. Repeat as necessary until you no longer hear that negative self-talk. Essentially, you are wrestling control away from the unpleasant inner critic who isn’t even you.

    2. Change your reward system.
    Disconnect food from your reward system, and start rewarding yourself with other fulfilling activities. For example: go for a walk, buy something on your wish list or treat yourself to a massage or bubble bath.

    3. Changing your mind is key to changing your body.
    Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a powerful system for reprogramming your mind. Try out this NLP exercise for breaking the pleasurable associations you have with your favorite snacks: First, close your eyes. Think of a favorite food that you are trying to avoid. Perhaps you cannot stop bingeing on pizza, for example? Now, think about something that disgusts you. Let’s say you are grossed out by spiders and cockroaches. Now envision that delicious pizza that you love so much, with spiders and roaches crawling out of the steamy melted cheese. The more real, big and vivid you make this “video” in your minds eye, the harder it will be to desire that fattening pizza that you used to crave so much.

    4. Treat yourself as you would an adored little child.
    We wouldn’t dream of treating a stranger, let alone an adored child, as harshly as we treat ourselves sometimes. Have you ever berated yourself over something silly? Said unkind things to yourself that made you feel worthless? For the love of all things holy, please treat your self with love, respect and kindness! Make it your mission to protect your emotional being. Feeling safe, strong and protected dissolves emotional eating.

    5. Create little success habits.
    Develop new empowering habits such as exercising at a regular time or writing down your small successes as you achieve them. This will trigger your brain to release endorphins, which will, in turn, get you addicted to exercising and staying healthy.

    6. Keep your commitment to yourself
    You are training yourself to follow through, to keep your promises to yourself, to accomplish the goals that will lead to a healthier you. When you get used to keeping your promises to yourself, you become self-motivated, driven from the inside.

    7. Don’t keep junk around
    Life is easier with fewer temptations around. Did you know that willpower is a finite resource, and that it depletes over the course of the day? Keeping a jar of cookies around wastes valuable willpower that could be used instead to work on major life goals. Don’t just put the cookies out of view, because your brain knows they are still within easy reach. Instead, get rid of the cookies altogether - as in throw them in the trash! You will save so much willpower. Rather than deprive yourself of snacks altogether, you can stock your fridge and pantry with healthy options (mini carrots, anyone?).

    8. Create a new identity
    Create an alter ego or an avatar, a new 2.0 version of yourself with the traits of the person you want to become. Visualize that new strong, happy, and secure version of yourself easily managing various emotions without running to the fridge. Adopting a new, healthier, more empowered identity can alter any number of troublesome behaviors, not just overeating.

    9. Reduce stress
    Being on a diet is stressful. So is striving to be like someone else, whether it is a celebrity on TV or your friend who posted a bikini picture of herself on Facebook. Trying to be someone else can drive you crazy. There is a lot of pressure these days for us to look a certain way, especially for women. If you are the type of person who succumbs to this pressure and emotionally overeats, you’ll need to de-stress. Try some relaxation techniques, such as mindfulness meditation, yoga, or even just chilling by the pool. Watch a funny movie; laughter really is the best medicine. Stress triggers junk food cravings and releases the hormone cortisol, which stores fat in your body! Aim to stay happy and relaxed.

    10. Breathe
    Breathing not only relaxes you, it can clear your mind of the negative emotions that drive you to overeat. Here is a simple breathing exercise that you can do anytime you feel overwhelmed: sit with your eyes closed in a comfortable position with your back straight. Place your hand on your stomach and take deep breaths through your nose, exhale slowly through the mouth. Continue this for at least 3 to 5 minutes. In this relaxed state, your junk food cravings will dissipate.

    11. Make it a conscious choice
    For some people it is just a matter of making a conscious decision and sticking to it. Make a list of all the pros and cons for emotional eating. Focusing on your goals will strengthen your resolve to create lasting change in your life.

    12. Change your value system
    Make a decision to value your health over immediate satisfaction, to value the long term over the short term. Living in a body that is healthy, slim and agile is more satisfying than the instant gratification you get from binge eating.

    Unhealthy overeating can stem from emotions that don’t serve you. The good news is you are in control of your emotions. Determine your emotional triggers, look out for those triggers and take charge over your mind and body. Achieving mastery over your emotions is a learned skill; with practice, you will get better and better at it. That will then show up in the way you feel and the way you look. I bet you can’t wait!

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