I am so frustrated with my weight loss.

My husband and I have been overweight since we met, and it got worse once we were together. We were fast food junkies and I'm a serious sugar addict. Anyway, enough was enough after we had our son, so back in January we started CrossFit. For three months straight we were going a minimum of 3 days a week, kicking butt and doing well. Our diet didn't change much, so of course aside from some obvious toning, the weight wasn't coming off.

Last month, we knew that if we wanted to see real changes, the diet had to follow. So after the abrupt decision, we started Whole30 the next day. (Anyone unfamiliar with Whole30, it's pretty simple: real food. No gluten, grains, dairy, or sugar. Kind of like Paleo but no natural sweeteners either.)

We did a complete 180 overnight, going from eating about 2,000 to 3,000 calories of fast food a day and instead raw fruit, veggies, chicken, steak, water, etc. We didn't eat out at all.

My husband loved it. He started losing inches and weight like crazy. I, however, despite eating the same things he was, barely budged. After the second week I felt terrible: lethargic, angry, grumpy, exhausted. So on day 23 I made the decision to add Whole Wheat bread back into my diet, and almost instantly I felt better. My husband stuck it out until yesterday when it was finally over, and here were the results:

Husband's Starting Weight: 275
Husband's End Weight: 245

It was awesome for him. He is also down a pant size and looks amazing.

My Starting Weight: 245
My End Weight: 237 as of this morning.

So. Yeah, I'm frustrated. I know I was smaller to begin with and women have a harder time with it, but while people *said* it looked like I'd lost some inches, nothing fit better, either. I ate the exact same way he did, and all I did the last week was add in Whole Wheat Bread and some creamer with my coffee. Whoa.

My doctor wants me to get blood work done because he thinks there's something else going on, but I haven't done it yet because I really don't want to see that the results are fine and it's just me. (Not to mention, I had it done a few years ago, and as far as I remember, everything was fine.)

What am I doing wrong, guys? I KNOW the Whole30 is not about weight loss, but when you're considered obese like me, it's pretty normal to see better results.

*We're going to stick with the healthy eating, obviously, but ugh.*

Also, please be as kind as you can. I already feel stupid as it is.
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Replies

  • thieambe
    thieambe Posts: 41 Member
    When I say eating like my husband, it was pretty much like this:

    1-2 Steamed Chicken Breasts, a steak for dinner (sometimes), a salad with more veggies, and maybe a banana (or two, if we were feeling like fatties).

    So, if anything, we were under-eating.

    There's only so many chicken breasts and salads you can eat in a day to eat too much, I think, but I could be wrong.

    Maybe starvation mode? Though I keep hearing that's a myth. So.
  • thieambe
    thieambe Posts: 41 Member
    Lkav88 wrote: »
    8lb loss in a month is an amazing loss!!
    Stop comparing yourself to your husband, everyone's body's are different and what works for him won't necessarily work for you. But an 8lb loss is nothing to be sniffed at!! Another 8lb loss next month will take you to over a stone!! Keep at it

    You had the kindest answer. Thank you.
  • thieambe
    thieambe Posts: 41 Member
    Having unrealistic expectations? 8 pounds IS 8 pounds.

    When you're 245 pounds I guess I did have "unrealistic" expectations.
  • thieambe
    thieambe Posts: 41 Member
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    So do you know what you calorie intake is supposed to be? Eating like him doesn't sound right because MEN usually need more calories than females. And men just naturally lose more than females do when it comes to weight loss due to differential in hormones.
    Also how long was this? A month?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    When I say eating like my husband, it was pretty much like this:

    1-2 Steamed Chicken Breasts, a steak for dinner (sometimes), a salad with more veggies, and maybe a banana (or two, if we were feeling like fatties).

    So, if anything, we were under-eating.

    There's only so many chicken breasts and salads you can eat in a day to eat too much, I think, but I could be wrong.

    Maybe starvation mode? Though I keep hearing that's a myth. So.
  • thieambe
    thieambe Posts: 41 Member
    bluets2011 wrote: »
    8 pounds in a month? I think for MFP standards this an aggressive losing rate.

    They offer a two-pound a week option...
  • estherdragonbat
    estherdragonbat Posts: 5,283 Member
    The foods people need for energy and satiety can vary from person to person. I'm vegetarian and, while I feel better since I started paying attention to my protein and consciously trying to hit my target, I'd be miserable if I went low-carb. Maybe Whole 30 isn't for you. I mean, even if you'd lost more weight, being "lethargic, angry, grumpy, and exhausted" just isn't worth it.

    I eat healthy-ish, watching my protein and iron, making room for moderate treats, and controlling portions. I haven't cut any foods out, I've started exercising, and the weight is dropping.

    It's a good idea for you to eat the way you plan to keep eating even after you've reached goal. Unless you're planning to be gluten-free, grain-free, etc. for the rest of your life, it's not great to do it for weight-loss. Many people who go that route end up putting it all back when they reach goal and resume their old eating habits.

    Don't be so quick to dismiss your doctor's recommendation. If the results are fine, that's great. But if there is something going on, I think you'll be in better shape if you find out now.
  • livingleanlivingclean
    livingleanlivingclean Posts: 11,752 Member
    edited June 2017
    thieambe wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    So do you know what you calorie intake is supposed to be? Eating like him doesn't sound right because MEN usually need more calories than females. And men just naturally lose more than females do when it comes to weight loss due to differential in hormones.
    Also how long was this? A month?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    When I say eating like my husband, it was pretty much like this:

    1-2 Steamed Chicken Breasts, a steak for dinner (sometimes), a salad with more veggies, and maybe a banana (or two, if we were feeling like fatties).

    So, if anything, we were under-eating.

    There's only so many chicken breasts and salads you can eat in a day to eat too much, I think, but I could be wrong.

    Maybe starvation mode? Though I keep hearing that's a myth. So.

    No fat? Whole 30 encourages a certain amount of fat at each of your 3 meals...
    And you lost weight, which means you were in a deficit to lose 2lbs a week whether you calculated it or not!
  • thieambe
    thieambe Posts: 41 Member
    You haven't once mentioned counting calories or being in a deficit. Calories are what matters for weight loss. I could eat the same food as my husband and end up the size of a house due to my ability to eat more than I need quite easily. He's more active than me due to work, is a man, and naturally needs more calories just to survive.

    I did a whole 90 and gained weight. The types of foods you eat aren't going to change whether you lose or gain - you need to determine your calorie goal for weight loss, then get a food scale and weigh all solids, measure all liquids, and accurately log everything you put in your mouth.

    I guess you're not supposed to count calories while doing it, but I did the first few days. A couple chicken breasts, a steak for dinner sometimes, a baked potato, salad/carrots/sugar snap peas, and if we were feeling extra crazy maybe a banana.

    These are generally low-calorie foods I though :-/
  • thieambe
    thieambe Posts: 41 Member
    thieambe wrote: »
    ninerbuff wrote: »
    So do you know what you calorie intake is supposed to be? Eating like him doesn't sound right because MEN usually need more calories than females. And men just naturally lose more than females do when it comes to weight loss due to differential in hormones.
    Also how long was this? A month?

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    9285851.png

    When I say eating like my husband, it was pretty much like this:

    1-2 Steamed Chicken Breasts, a steak for dinner (sometimes), a salad with more veggies, and maybe a banana (or two, if we were feeling like fatties).

    So, if anything, we were under-eating.

    There's only so many chicken breasts and salads you can eat in a day to eat too much, I think, but I could be wrong.

    Maybe starvation mode? Though I keep hearing that's a myth. So.

    No fat? Whole 30 encourages a certain amount of fat at each of your 3 meals...
    And you lost weight, which means you were in a deficit to lose 2lbs a week whether you calculated it or not!

    Ah yes, we did cook the meat in Grape Seed or Coconut Oil.
  • thieambe
    thieambe Posts: 41 Member
    The foods people need for energy and satiety can vary from person to person. I'm vegetarian and, while I feel better since I started paying attention to my protein and consciously trying to hit my target, I'd be miserable if I went low-carb. Maybe Whole 30 isn't for you. I mean, even if you'd lost more weight, being "lethargic, angry, grumpy, and exhausted" just isn't worth it.

    I eat healthy-ish, watching my protein and iron, making room for moderate treats, and controlling portions. I haven't cut any foods out, I've started exercising, and the weight is dropping.

    It's a good idea for you to eat the way you plan to keep eating even after you've reached goal. Unless you're planning to be gluten-free, grain-free, etc. for the rest of your life, it's not great to do it for weight-loss. Many people who go that route end up putting it all back when they reach goal and resume their old eating habits.

    Don't be so quick to dismiss your doctor's recommendation. If the results are fine, that's great. But if there is something going on, I think you'll be in better shape if you find out now.

    Thank you very much.
  • thieambe
    thieambe Posts: 41 Member
    So I guess you all have a valid point. I was losing two pounds a week and that's great. I got very caught up in comparing myself to my husband. Thank you all.
  • dragon_girl26
    dragon_girl26 Posts: 2,187 Member
    edited June 2017
    Having unrealistic expectations? 8 pounds IS 8 pounds.

    ^^this.

    You've lost weight! I promise I'm not being snarky, I just genuinely don't understand why you are disappointed. 8 lbs in 30 days is roughly 2 lbs a week/give or take. Sounds like you were right on track. You're 8 lbs lighter than you were, you should be happy about this!
    Also, men need more calories than women generally, so if his intake is close to yours, that explains why he lost faster. It's definitely not "starvation mode" (which is a myth, you are right). I think you need to adjust your mindset a bit. Your expectations are waaaay too high here. You had success! Rejoice in that! :)
    Comparison is the thief of joy. His bigger loss doesn't invalidate your loss. His will eventually slow down. Expecting huge losses super quickly IS unrealistic. Weight loss is not going to be a fast process, trust me on this. You're going to need patience, commitment, patience, patience, patience, trust...and did I mention patience? :p
  • canadianmom1975
    canadianmom1975 Posts: 23 Member
    you did amazing with losing 8 pounds....on average 1 pound a week is healthiest and is maintable for the long run...so don't be so hard on your self...google pictures of what 1 pound of fat loss looks like...you may feel better about it...and with how you feel on whole 30...everybody feels different on different ways of eating....for me i need carbs...i can't understand how people do low carb or keto...i would feel week....

    I would invest in a digital good scale and start track your food in grams...it may seem over whelming at first but it becomes habit and easier...and you will be shocked how much cals you can over consume by eyeballing
  • lindasomers9
    lindasomers9 Posts: 5 Member
    thieambe wrote: »
    My husband and I have been overweight since we met, and it got worse once we were together. We were fast food junkies and I'm a serious sugar addict. Anyway, enough was enough after we had our son, so back in January we started CrossFit. For three months straight we were going a minimum of 3 days a week, kicking butt and doing well. Our diet didn't change much, so of course aside from some obvious toning, the weight wasn't coming off.

    Last month, we knew that if we wanted to see real changes, the diet had to follow. So after the abrupt decision, we started Whole30 the next day. (Anyone unfamiliar with Whole30, it's pretty simple: real food. No gluten, grains, dairy, or sugar. Kind of like Paleo but no natural sweeteners either.)

    We did a complete 180 overnight, going from eating about 2,000 to 3,000 calories of fast food a day and instead raw fruit, veggies, chicken, steak, water, etc. We didn't eat out at all.

    My husband loved it. He started losing inches and weight like crazy. I, however, despite eating the same things he was, barely budged. After the second week I felt terrible: lethargic, angry, grumpy, exhausted. So on day 23 I made the decision to add Whole Wheat bread back into my diet, and almost instantly I felt better. My husband stuck it out until yesterday when it was finally over, and here were the results:

    Husband's Starting Weight: 275
    Husband's End Weight: 245

    It was awesome for him. He is also down a pant size and looks amazing.

    My Starting Weight: 245
    My End Weight: 237 as of this morning.

    So. Yeah, I'm frustrated. I know I was smaller to begin with and women have a harder time with it, but while people *said* it looked like I'd lost some inches, nothing fit better, either. I ate the exact same way he did, and all I did the last week was add in Whole Wheat Bread and some creamer with my coffee. Whoa.

    My doctor wants me to get blood work done because he thinks there's something else going on, but I haven't done it yet because I really don't want to see that the results are fine and it's just me. (Not to mention, I had it done a few years ago, and as far as I remember, everything was fine.)

    What am I doing wrong, guys? I KNOW the Whole30 is not about weight loss, but when you're considered obese like me, it's pretty normal to see better results.

    *We're going to stick with the healthy eating, obviously, but ugh.*

    Also, please be as kind as you can. I already feel stupid as it is.

    Me and 1 of my friends, females, started MFP in Jan. and lost a steady 2lbs a week, at first. As time went on the losses got to be more like 1lb. a week. Our MALE co worker joined and lost 10lbs. the first 4 days!! His loss has slowed some now and he got 1900 cals a day as opposed to our 1200. Men and women are different. Don't compare yourself to him, just run your own race, you are winning with an 8lb loss the first month! Congrats and keep it up :)