Disappointed in myself & need motivation!

JAT74

Hi everyone

I've been here a few times before over the last few years and now I'm back, though am pretty much starting from square one again

I came here initially a few years back to lose some weight which I gained when I lost the willpower to eat what I know my body tolerates which is low carb (under 60-80g per day) and fairly low calories (around 1000). I've always gained weight on every other diet and also by eating normally so I know it's the only thing which works.

I've always struggled with my weight all my life (in my 20s I was around 175lbs) but in 2002 I lost all the excess weight by eating a fairly low carb diet (though still eating vegetables and fruit), but cutting out starchy foods and exercising 5 days a week doing a combination of weight training and cardio. I got down to 121 lbs (I was 27 at the time) and kept it off for a few years by following the same lifestyle.

I then started comfort eating for various reasons and starchy carbs crept back into my diet and while I have never been a huge eater I increased my calorie and carb intake by enough to pile on the pounds again. I got up to 147lbs which seems to be my body's 'natural' weight when I eat exactly what I want (probably around 1500 calories per day, or 1800 with alcohol, though I rarely drink these days). I lost weight again by reverting back to my low carb low calorie diet and kept the weight off again for a while, but when I was struggling to keep it off I joined MFP so I could properly log my food intake.

I was doing really well, but in July 2013 I had an accident and hurt my back. That was my training out the window (I was unable to do any exercise at all for about 10 months and up to that point I had been training 6 day a week). At that time I also started eating more again and put on some weight, though my weight stayed at around 140lbs as I was careful.

My partner got ill about a year later and we started a special diet (the SCD diet) which was a pretty low carb and low calorie diet and unsurprisingly I lost loads of weight, without even trying. My weight got back down to where I was comfortable, which was 124lbs, but the diet didn't work for him - his health issues didn't improve and he lost too much weight so needed to put some more on.

He then battled to try and gain some weight back and was eating more and more high calorie high carb foods to do so. I joined him in this as it was easier (I do the shopping and prepare all the meals) and by the beginning of this year I was back at 151lbs, the heaviest I've been in years.

My back is ok these days, though I have my bad days, but I joined a gym and started logging calories again. I tried to keep my calories to around 1100 but didn't look at my macros and I lost just 3lbs in 6 months. I had to quit the gym in March anyway as my back was playing up and I couldn't commit to going regularly as some days it's fine but others it isn't, but after that I continued keeping up with my steps and generally do about 80,000 per week.

Last week I started training again in my home gym as my back's been feeing better (on top of my walks) and also started eating low carb, low calorie again and have lost 3lbs so far!!

I'm really pleased but I'm a little bit disappointed that it's nearly the end of June and I'm only really starting off on my weight loss journey. I live in a hot country near the beach and I won't be stripping off to my bikini now until I've lost significantly more weight, but I'm on a mission to get the weight off before the end of the summer.

I'm really hoping that this time I have the willpower to stick to this way of eating for the rest of my life, because I'm tired of feeling uncomfortable and being unhappy with my weight. I know what works, I just need as much help and encouragement as I can get to stick at it!

Thanks

toxikon

Sorry to hear you're going through so much trouble. It can be really discouraging to go up and down and up and down...

One thing that sticks out to me: you keep trying specialized low-calorie diets, losing weight, then gaining it all back when you revert to your normal eating patterns.

It's obviously not working because it's not sustainable to you. You should try just eating what you like to eat in smaller portions. Don't do specialized diets if you can't stick with them for the rest of your life because you're just setting yourself up to revert to your preferable eating habits.

Just because low-carb has worked for weight loss in the past, the fact that you always revert to carbs tells us something.

My recommendation would be simply calorie-counting and eating whatever you want to eat. And don't go for some crazy deficit - eat as much as you can while still losing weight at a low, reasonable pace. 0.5 - 1lbs a week is manageable. Use a TDEE calculator to determine a good calorie deficit.

JAT74

Thanks Toxikon. To be honest I tried that for a few months already this year. I told myself I'll eat smaller portions of whatever I like and as long as I'm keeping my portions small/calories fairly low then the weight will come off. I was exercising 5 times a week from January-March and going for walks a few times a week too. I was enjoying the lifestyle but due to my back problems had to stop training except for my walks from March until last week. I stuck with the plan re. the portions etc. but from January last week I'd only lost 3lbs in total so I've had to rethink things.

Now I'm back in training and the weight is coming off again but it's obvious it's due to the fact I've lowered my carb intake, so the lbs are coming off. I think that unfortunately (much as I don't like it) I have to admit to myself that it's the only way I can stay at my comfortable weight.

I've done TDEE calculations and tried to stay at a deficit but my body holds onto weight so the TDEE which the calculators tell me isn't really true for my body and the way it responds. Given my activity level and calorie burns I should comfortably be able to eat around 1700 or 1800 calories per day and stay at goal weight, but my weight just creeps up instead at that number. I believe my true TDEE is closer to 1000 so with exercise I should be able to maintain a lower weight at about 1400. Maybe when the time comes and I get the weight off I'll be able to sustain my lower weight at that number, but not without keeping carbs low.

I've experimented so much with different approaches over the years and even if I try and lose weight at a slow rate (0.5-1lb per week) I can only achieve this by going low on carbs. I did the 5:2 diet for a while a couple of years ago and really enjoyed it because I lost cravings for food, but I barely lost any weight after several months.

I think I have to accept it's what my body is comfortable with and make necessary sacrifices if I do want to be able to eat what I like. Last week for example, I lost 3lbs and I kept carbs generally low every day, but I was still able to eat things I really wanted to. I just had to be very careful about what I ate at other meals (for example if I wanted bread with my lunch I had a protein shake for breakfast and a meat/fish/salad evening meal).

Yesterday I woke up late and didn't have breakfast. I had a lovely lunch of a tuna/egg russian salad plus lamb chops (with literally a couple of chips off the plate). I didn't finish everything on my plate as I didn't want to go over on calories. I didn't want to eat an evening meal after that as I wasn't hungry but I was with friends who were going for ice cream so I treated myself to a small ice cream early evening. The days calories were still fairly low and the carbs were low too, and I didn't feel deprived which was great. I got on the scales this morning and had lost another 0.5lb.

On days where I've eaten what I really crave, have had alcohol etc. I've ended up at about 1500 calories and carbs at about 150gms. That's obviously too high for my body as weight just creeps up and up at that number. I think my body just doesn't respond well at all to sugar or starch.

The good thing about a lower carb way of eating is that I find I also lose cravings so I don't think about food and therefore am not tempted to eat more than I really need to. I just need to stay disciplined in order to get back down to my comfortable weight and to eventually reach my goal weight of 115lbs.

toxikon

I also follow a low-carb way of eating for health purposes, but honestly, it does not provide any weight loss benefits over any other way of eating. It really does all come down to calories-in, calories-out.

Low-carb/keto often gives you a "whoosh" of water weight loss, so it can feel like you're losing more than you actually are. Your water weight goes down, causing your bloating (especially in the stomach area) to go down, making you think you've lost more than you actually have. You can lose anywhere from around 3-10lbs of water weight in the first few weeks of eating low-carb. But of course it comes right back if you switch back to high-carb.

I find that the main benefit that low-carb DOES provide is more satiety. Fat and protein tend to be more filling and provide longer satiety than simple carbs, so it's easier to eat at a higher deficit.

It's very very unlikely that your TDEE is 1000, unless you're like 4'8" and bed-ridden.

I'm personally 5'7" and 150lbs, and my sedentary TDEE is around 1700. I like to use this TDEE calculator because it seems a bit more scientific than others: http://www.sailrabbit.com/bmr/

JAT74

I agree with what you've said re. low carb, but due to having weight issues for the last 20+ years I know that low carb is/seems to be the only way I can lose weight without a real struggle. Logically it shouldn't be any different than anything else and cals in cals out does make sense, but for me it needs to be more than just that, I really don't know why.

It's almost like certain foods make my body cling on to fat and others allow me to drop weight fairly easily. I know that water weight is a big part of it at the beginning, but it's really difficult to consistently lose weight for me if I eat high carb foods and reduce calories.