Gained weight back, struggling with binge eating

emiara96

I had lost 8 pounds and now I've gained it all back. I'm so disappointed in myself because I wanted to lose at least 15 pounds before August and now idk if that could even happen, I can't seem to keep on track.
Nobody else in my family is on a journey to lose weight or anything so I'm on this journey alone, not even friends want to workout or anything. I don't like doing things on my own, and I'm the kind of person where if I fail with eating well one day I feel like I've failed completely and then just give up. I want to prove to myself and people around me that I can change. I'm tired of going to the beach or any place during the summer and feeling so insecure because I'm very overweight and don't feel good or healthy in my own skin.
Anybody know what I'm doing wrong or any helpful tips that will actually work? I feel like I've tried many but I can't stay on track , the moment I see something I'm not supposed to eat I just go at it...
Please help.

TenderBlender667

I'm very familiar with what you're describing. The all-or-nothing mentality is an easy trap to fall into, but you can push yourself out of it. Binge one day or even several days? So what? Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start fresh tomorrow. Don't let the negative feelings associated with binge eating affect you. It'll just discourage you more and trigger another binge.

On days when you accidentally go over by a couple hundred calories, don't listen to your "all-or-nothing" brain, but try to stay calm and rational. Before you decide to grab another bite, pause and think about it for a while. Do you really want another bite of that cookie because you're truly hungry or are you simply filling a void? If you take the time to be mindful, you'll become more aware of your emotional hunger vs. your physical hunger. Eventually, the urge to binge will pass. If not, you can always fill up on healthier snacks like carrots, pickles or celery.

Also, make sure you're not restricting certain foods just because you deem them as "bad" or "unhealthy". It'll make you crave exactly what you're "not supposed to have." If you feel like eating cookies, ice cream, or pizza one day, just fit it in to your calorie intake while keeping track of the serving size. That way you're able to enjoy what you're eating while still making progress.

cnavarro002

It's hard to go all in when you are doing this alone. Take baby steps. Pick one thing that you want to change: give up pop, drink more water, walk more, whatever. Pick just one and start with that. Once that becomes a habit, then pick something else. You will see results. Unless you make it a habit, it will never work.

nutmegoreo

Letting go of the all or nothing mentality was difficult, but essential for me. I had to do several things. First, stop restriction so much. It's easier to stick to when you have a reasonable calorie goal that you can fit a small treat each day. It also reduced the chances that I would consume the house, because I wasn't hungry all the time. Second, stop giving up when I had a slip up. If you over consume at breakfast, the day isn't wasted. Refocused through the rest of the day. I could easily destroy a weeks deficit in a single day by giving up. Even if the numbers are in the red a bit at the end of the day, it's better than just tossing the whole day out the window. Third, log it all anyway. This will give you more accurate numbers, especially the ones you don't want to face. You may find it's not as bad as you think, or if it is, it will give you a realistic look at what you are doing. Fourth, if you have certain foods you know you have difficulty controlling yourself around (for me it was ice cream), don't bring them into the house except as a single serving a couple times per week. It took a long time to learn to moderate ice cream, but I wanted to be able to do it, so it was worth working on.

If you have a true binge eating disorder, then please seek professional help. This is something that is beyond the scope of the MFP forums. We can support, but even those here who are therapists won't be able to provide the professional advice you need.

Niki_Fitz

You can do this. You're here where you can make fit friends.

You can start developing self-kindness by logging everything, even the binges, and telling yourself that it's okay. Make the next meal, then the next day, better. This can be learning and practice for long-term change, rather than a race towards a finish line that seems out of reach. You can do it!

cmriverside

No idea from what you've posted.

Set your Goals to "Lose 0.5 pounds per week." Log everything. Input your Exercise into the exercise tab, and eat a bit more on those days.

Do that for a month and see how you do. With 15 pounds to lose, you're going to have to be vigilant for months. There isn't much room for error when you are close to a healthy weight. If you try to cut calories too much you won't be able to stick to it - slow and steady wins the race.

Brabo_Grip

This journey is a marathon, not a sprint. It's not over if you fall down here or there. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and do your best to do better.

You say you don't like doing things alone. You might look into group fitness classes where you can meet like-minded, non-judgmental people. Zumba, Cardio-Kickboxing, crossfiit, etc. I find my little subculture (BJJ/MMA) helps keep me on track because of the support and likeminded people.

emiara96

TenderBlender667 wrote: »

I'm very familiar with what you're describing. The all-or-nothing mentality is an easy trap to fall into, but you can push yourself out of it. Binge one day or even several days? So what? Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start fresh tomorrow. Don't let the negative feelings associated with binge eating affect you. It'll just discourage you more and trigger another binge.

On days when you accidentally go over by a couple hundred calories, don't listen to your "all-or-nothing" brain, but try to stay calm and rational. Before you decide to grab another bite, pause and think about it for a while. Do you really want another bite of that cookie because you're truly hungry or are you simply filling a void? If you take the time to be mindful, you'll become more aware of your emotional hunger vs. your physical hunger. Eventually, the urge to binge will pass. If not, you can always fill up on healthier snacks like carrots, pickles or celery.

Also, make sure you're not restricting certain foods just because you deem them as "bad" or "unhealthy". It'll make you crave exactly what you're "not supposed to have." If you feel like eating cookies, ice cream, or pizza one day, just fit it in to your calorie intake while keeping track of the serving size. That way you're able to enjoy what you're eating while still making progress.

You're so right, and most of the time I do feel it's me eating to fill a void, and not because I'm actually hungry. Before when I started trying to lose weight I did find myself constantly labeling foods as either good or bad and it didn't help at all. I'd end up binging on the bad stuff eventually anyway because I felt so deprived and that's part of why I feel like I binge so much. I make it seem too much like a strict diet instead of a lifestyle change. Thank you for this!

emiara96

nutmegoreo wrote: »

Letting go of the all or nothing mentality was difficult, but essential for me. I had to do several things. First, stop restriction so much. It's easier to stick to when you have a reasonable calorie goal that you can fit a small treat each day. It also reduced the chances that I would consume the house, because I wasn't hungry all the time. Second, stop giving up when I had a slip up. If you over consume at breakfast, the day isn't wasted. Refocused through the rest of the day. I could easily destroy a weeks deficit in a single day by giving up. Even if the numbers are in the red a bit at the end of the day, it's better than just tossing the whole day out the window. Third, log it all anyway. This will give you more accurate numbers, especially the ones you don't want to face. You may find it's not as bad as you think, or if it is, it will give you a realistic look at what you are doing. Fourth, if you have certain foods you know you have difficulty controlling yourself around (for me it was ice cream), don't bring them into the house except as a single serving a couple times per week. It took a long time to learn to moderate ice cream, but I wanted to be able to do it, so it was worth working on.

If you have a true binge eating disorder, then please seek professional help. This is something that is beyond the scope of the MFP forums. We can support, but even those here who are therapists won't be able to provide the professional advice you need.

It definitely is hard to let go of. I restrict too much, and end up devouring everything after because I deprived myself so much from having things I really wanted. Thank you for this response, I definitely am going to take these into thought and use it! Now that I'm using MFP more often i think it will be very helpful and I'm going to log it all.

emiara96

Brabo_Grip wrote: »

This journey is a marathon, not a sprint. It's not over if you fall down here or there. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and do your best to do better.

You say you don't like doing things alone. You might look into group fitness classes where you can meet like-minded, non-judgmental people. Zumba, Cardio-Kickboxing, crossfiit, etc. I find my little subculture (BJJ/MMA) helps keep me on track because of the support and likeminded people.

Yes, I like that! It is a marathon, not a sprint. I guess I feel so pressured to try to lose weight in a short amount of time and I know that just isn't realistic, and won't have lasting effects. And I'm actually currently trying to look for Zumba classes nearby! Thanks

leanitup123

araujoemily238 wrote: »

nutmegoreo wrote: »

Letting go of the all or nothing mentality was difficult, but essential for me. I had to do several things. First, stop restriction so much. It's easier to stick to when you have a reasonable calorie goal that you can fit a small treat each day. It also reduced the chances that I would consume the house, because I wasn't hungry all the time. Second, stop giving up when I had a slip up. If you over consume at breakfast, the day isn't wasted. Refocused through the rest of the day. I could easily destroy a weeks deficit in a single day by giving up. Even if the numbers are in the red a bit at the end of the day, it's better than just tossing the whole day out the window. Third, log it all anyway. This will give you more accurate numbers, especially the ones you don't want to face. You may find it's not as bad as you think, or if it is, it will give you a realistic look at what you are doing. Fourth, if you have certain foods you know you have difficulty controlling yourself around (for me it was ice cream), don't bring them into the house except as a single serving a couple times per week. It took a long time to learn to moderate ice cream, but I wanted to be able to do it, so it was worth working on.

If you have a true binge eating disorder, then please seek professional help. This is something that is beyond the scope of the MFP forums. We can support, but even those here who are therapists won't be able to provide the professional advice you need.

It definitely is hard to let go of. I restrict too much, and end up devouring everything after because I deprived myself so much from having things I really wanted. Thank you for this response, I definitely am going to take these into thought and use it! Now that I'm using MFP more often i think it will be very helpful and I'm going to log it all.

I've struggled with this as well... For example, I would never allow myself to eat an entire slice of pizza but would pick at a pizza until I ended up eating the entire thing. If I had just allowed myself ONE NORMAL peice of pizza I would have been content... Prime example of the "all or nothing" mentality. Hard to overcome but you'll get there the more you challenge the restrictive thoughts.