Dear Sugar

Adamanda5

Dear Sugar,

We need to talk.

For me, it really was love at first taste. I turned to you during good times: birthdays, holidays, game nights, movie nights; you have been present for almost every special occasion in my life. I also sought you out in hard times: when I was lonely, disappointed, sad, stressed, worried, or angry, you were there for me. But this is not a letter of appreciation. This is goodbye.

What happened to us? I admit that for a time we were happy together. For a while I was oblivious. Blissfully ignorant. Stupid. Well, my eyes are finally open. Now I can see you for what you are, for what you were all along: you are toxic. You are bad for me.

You're a jerk!!!

All this time you were manipulating me, convincing me that I needed you, when all you were really doing was making me fat, moody, and unhealthy! Now I can see it in the way my clothes fit. I can feel the pattern of that sweet, familiar high, followed by a mindless, crashing, craving low. You've been hurting me all this time, and I've come to realize that I don't like the way I feel when I'm with you. Did you really think we could go on like this forever?

Last week was the last straw. Now you have hurt my husband. You've put his life at risk. And his life is my life. So I'm breaking up with you.

I know I carry some of the blame for where I am, and for where my husband is with his fresh Diabetes 2 diagnosis. I own the decisions I made to indulge in you all this time. I also know I can't completely cut you out; you're everywhere! But I've learned that with you, one bite is never enough, whether I find you in cookies, cake, candies, or the Chinese buffet! Now that I know what you're capable of in your many forms, I know to avoid you when you are not your natural self. It doesn't matter what you wear. Whether you are dressed in bright, colorful wrappers or disguise yourself to look healthy, I will see you for what you are. You can call yourself whatever you want to on the ingredient label. Don't think I won't know it's you! I will probably still invite you to parties here and there, but don't be fooled about our relationship. We will be mere acquaintances from here on out. You stay away from my husband. And don't even think about going after my kids! They are learning from a young age how to use you in moderation, and they are armed with toothbrushes!

There will probably always be a part of me that loves you, and I'm sure I'll glance longingly your way from time to time, but it's over. It's finally over.

-Me