Why do I still feel massive?

amc2509

Ok so I'm on a bit of a downer today, have had a crazy busy week and I'm really tired having had an average of 5.5 hrs sleep all week... I had been putting off buying new clothes as I'm only half way to goal weight, but I was away with work this week and decided to treat myself to some new jeans. I have gone from a UK16/18 to a UK12... The size 12 are quite snug, but they zip up fine and don't look painted on... SO why is that when I look in the mirror I can't actually see any difference???
I know that a size 12 wouldn't have gone past my knees in January, but I still think I look huge! Bloody mind games

nikolabird

Well done on your amazing loss! You should be super proud of your achievement.
I feel a bit like this and have been told it's all to do with the perception of ourselves. Even when you've lost weight/toned up whatever your setting out to achieve our negative body image thoughts get in the way.
Have a look at some pics of yourself before you started your weight loss journey and compare them to how you look now. Hopefully it will show you that your body is changing and your hard work is paying off.
Stay positive and have a great weekend.

bigbadbeancounter

Agreed! congrats on your success so far! Lots of people feel just the same way - sometimes everyone (even teensy people) feels fat. Maybe it was one of those times. I hope you get to feeling better. And congrats on calling out your mind for being mean to you!! Keep it up!

amc2509

Thanks Nikola... would you believe I actually can't find any previous photos to compare with, I've loads of my husband and kids and any ones with me in them I'm at the back, as if hiding... I HATE photos being taken...
I'm actually thinking that it's the tiredness that has me feeling so negative! Think a lie in is needed tomorrow!!
I was actually amazed that no-one had noticed the new jeans at home this morning, not even my fashionista 11 yr old daughter!! So I was thinking they must look the same as my old bigger size ones!

TavistockToad

unfortunately we don't always see ourselves as others do, or as we actually are.

do you have any of your old clothes? i bet if you put on some old trousers and an old top you would be able to see the difference!

i am sure that a good nights sleep will help as well!!

chin up :flowerforyou:

ZephieC

I hate that feeling. A bad day and lack of sleep can really throw me for a loop. You have done so well....try not to get too discouraged. I wish I had a magical cure but mine usually involves chocolate...so I'm trying to stop that trend. I hope after some rest you'll feel better.

scarlet67

This sounds crazy but I think it's the media making you feel 'fat' even though you clearly are not . Pictures of 'skinny, slim, thin' women are everywhere and I think we feel we should all be the same! !. Size uk 12 is fantastic achievement. .

Muana1005

It's a great achievement. All I can suggest is go with your gut instinct and don't really go by what the numbers tell you - if you need to go smaller to feel more confident then do it.

jemhh

You are doing great.

There can be a definite time lag between your body changing and your perception of your body changing. It is a common and normal part of losing weight. It's also hard to see differences when you see yourself every day.

Keep up the good work!

elliej

Congratulations on your fantastic progress so far!

I think sometimes we can be very 'British' about weight loss because it's pretty personal and people don't want to mention something emotive. I know that I had nothing at all for months of weight loss until it I was close to my goal and I had 'well meaning' friends tell me I'd lost too much and they were worried about me (HA) having not even mentioned I was looking healthier/trimmer for months.

Your brain is taking in every tiny change in your body every day so it is easier to miss the bigger picture, you don't have early photos but even now if you take a photo in the same outfit/undies once a month I am sure you will see those changes you are making but not 'seeing'.

Good luck and well done again.

apullum

I have often felt like this myself, even though I'm much further along in my weight loss. I've lost nearly 100 pounds, am less than a pound from my goal, and have gone from size XL to size XS (and sometimes children's sizes). Yet sometimes I still think of myself as a fat person because I spent my entire adult life until now as a fat person. It takes a long time for our self perception to catch up to our new reality, and when you're still losing weight, your new reality is constantly changing. Try looking at some old pictures and comparing them to what you look like now, or try on your old clothes. That helps me remember how far I've come.

laurenebargar

TavistockToad wrote: »

unfortunately we don't always see ourselves as others do, or as we actually are.

do you have any of your old clothes? i bet if you put on some old trousers and an old top you would be able to see the difference!

i am sure that a good nights sleep will help as well!!

chin up :flowerforyou:

This is so true, try this OP!

I made the mistake of trying to wear a pair or pants to work that were my 18's and im also in 12's now, They fell down before I left the house luckily

dragon_girl26

We are our own worst critics.
Even after going fron a size 18-20 to a size 8-10, I still look in the mirror at times and feel huge. I, too, was overweight/obese for the majority of my adult life. The trick mentioned above about trying on some of your old clothes certainly helps put things into perspective.
I don't know if that feeling ever really goes away.

toxikon

Take some progress pics along the way to look back on! It's hard to notice incremental changes.

ninerbuff

It's attitude. If you won a million dollars, then tried on those same jeans you probably would have thought "Damn, I won a million dollars and now even fit into smaller jeans! How awesome!"

There are days in the gym I'll have a good lift, but won't acknowledge it because I was pre occupied with something else on my mind bothering me. Lol, usually it was my daughter's grades in school.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Running_and_Coffee

Talk to yourself the way you would a good friend or even your kids. You would never say to them, "You're massive!" You'd say, "But look at the great progress you made! I'm so proud of you!" I find that when I'm nice to myself, I'm much more motivated to keep on keepin' on!

FelinaDC

amc2509 wrote: »

I know that a size 12 wouldn't have gone past my knees in January, but I still think I look huge! Bloody mind games

This! I went shopping for a bathing suit yesterday (fun right?) I tried on a size 16 and it was huge on me (I used to be size 18), tried on what I thought was a size 14 it was tight but fit..when I took it off I realized it was a size 12! Yet I was so focused on it being too tight that I didn't realize until later that ummm a size 12 wouldn't have fit past one of my thighs last summer! So after some pep-talking I got two new rocking bathing suits that actually fit and I plan to rock them in a few weeks... keep your head up!

ladyhusker39

When I was heavier I wore clothes that were a little baggy because they made me feel thinner and didn't squeeze my huge belly as much. I recently bought a pair of shorts that actually fits and they feel too tight to me. Other people say they look great but I feel like I'm squeezing into them which makes me feel huge.

I was really tempted to go back up a size, but my daughter convinced me that what I really needed was to give myself time to feel comfortable in my new body. The wisdom of teens (they can be very smart).

elizabethmcopeland

storyjorie wrote: »

Talk to yourself the way you would a good friend or even your kids. You would never say to them, "You're massive!" You'd say, "But look at the great progress you made! I'm so proud of you!" I find that when I'm nice to myself, I'm much more motivated to keep on keepin' on!

This was literally what I was going to say.

Be a good friend to yourself. Talk kindly and lovingly. Your body has carried children, worked through weightloss and habit changes with you, and woken up with you anew every morning.

Focus on the good things, focus on the positive things, focus on what you've accomplished. You have a gift: an able body. You can do anything with it you set your mind to.

nowine4me

OP - not sure if this is the same for you, but I have lost weight (75#) equally from all over. So I'm literally just a smaller version of myself with the same flaws I had before -- like saddlebags, bat-wings, belly pooch, etc. It really does take some time for the mind to catch up. And in my case, time to lose more fat to finally get rid of some of these trouble spots. Hopefully.

brookielaw

It takes your brain some time to catch up with what's really going on. Over the past several years I have lost nearly 60% of my total body weight, yet yesterday I sat down slowly and gingerly on a stool that could clearly handle my body weight, as I know someone who has a good 100 lbs on me is able to sit on it without issue. That came from years of gauging what space I could fit in to or whether a chair was going to handle my weight, etc.

I echo the suggestion to grab some of your big clothes and try them on, you'll really see the difference then!

Sometimes you have to fake it 'til you make it. Honestly, when I was much bigger there were days where I turned heads (in a positive way) because I was holding my head high and strutting with confidence. Sometimes the hippie-dippie stuff really helps...you have to speak kindly to yourself. ROCK those size 12s!

Progress pics help too. I don't have a side by side of me now versus me at maximum density but from time to time I'll take a last year/this year side by side to remind me. You can do that on MFP or on piccollage.

Lastly, GREAT WORK! What you are doing is NOT easy, be proud!!!

quiksylver296

Another vote for comparing progress photos. What you can't see in the mirror you will be able to see if you put two photos side-by-side.