CAN YOU TELL

preciouschild1960

As you continue dieting and co-workers, friends, and family tell you that they say you look like you have lost some weight but you don't feel that way. Have any of you ever felt this way?

leesandra25

I've had the opposite happen. Last year I lost 30 lbs. and not one person mentioned any notice! It seems like when you are really overweight, people don't even want to have eye contact with you! That hurts my heart!

vespiquenn

leesandra25 wrote: »

I've had the opposite happen. Last year I lost 30 lbs. and not one person mentioned any notice! It seems like when you are really overweight, people don't even want to have eye contact with you! That hurts my heart!

This conversation comes up a lot here, and the consensus is that people notice weight loss, but don't acknowledge it because the back story is unknown. Was an illness involved or a traumatic event like a death? For those reasons alone, it's easy to assume why someone would be hesitant to mention another's weight loss. That and it's none of their business, but that's just me.

To answer the OPs question, I've had other's mention it, but it sometimes goes as far as being derogatory that I "need to eat something" when realistically I'm a healthy 22.9 BMI. With that in mind, I ignore what others say, whether it's meant to be praising or not.

alondrakayy

If I notice weight loss on someone else I almost never say anything unless I know they are purposely losing weight (through social media or if they happen to mention it during past convos). Sometime I'll even notice that someone looks different, but won't realize they have lost weight until someone points it out. Of course, it's different when it's dramatic weight loss. But for the 10-20lbs loss, yeah.. I won't say a word.

spiriteagle99

I think there's also the problem that if you say, "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight." You're also saying, "Wow, you used to be so fat." Telling someone they look good is less insulting, but can be a bit too personal if you don't know them well.

ridiculous59

leesandra25 wrote: »

I've had the opposite happen. Last year I lost 30 lbs. and not one person mentioned any notice! It seems like when you are really overweight, people don't even want to have eye contact with you! That hurts my heart!

I had an aquaintance say to me in the grocery store "You've lost weight. Was it intentional?" When I said yes, the person was so relieved that I hadn't been ill. So I agree, sometimes people don't say anything because they aren't sure if your weight loss is due to some other factor that's probably none of their business, unless they're a close friend.

Also, a male co-worker asked a female co-worker of mine if she thought it was ok to congratulate me on my weight loss. She said sure and only then did he start talking to me about it. Guys, especially co-workers, are so worried about saying something offensive or that could be labeled as "harrassment". They worry that their "Wow! You look great these days!" comment could be misconstrued. It's sad but true.