Hi there! I've been struggling with my weight and diet for most of my adult life and have yo-yo'd quite a lot, always ending up heavier than where I began.
Well this time, I am fully committed for health reasons and for my general happiness. I've decided that this is a lifestyle change, not a "diet" and I've been sticking to it for officially one month now and have lost 15 lbs! Not only that, but I've also had a very SIGNIFICANT non-scale victory in that... I have not "cheated" once. I have a rule for No Unplanned Indulgences, and have actually kept to it. And even when I do indulge, I track every single bite because I want to know what I'm putting in my body, and learn what is in the food.
So, I should feel upbeat and positive about this particular journey so far. I've never tried such a simple tactic - CICO, track everything, the end. I want to feel optimistic about my future weight loss.
But here's what's going on in my head:
"15 lbs? Not really. It's mostly water weight, probably. Don't get your hopes up."
"You haven't messed up YET. Y.E.T. You will. Soon. And then you'll probably give up."
"Don't celebrate any successes yet; it's too soon."
And the worst one, the one that I found myself saying this morning:
"How dare you be happy about seeing that number on the scale? It's a shame that you even let it get that high. You cannot celebrate that number. It's a horrible number."
Even though it's my first time seeing that number in a while, and it signified my breaking into 15lbs lost!
Has anyone else gone through this negative self-talk before? I know it's a problem and I'm trying to recognize it when it happens and stop myself, but there is a part of me that thinks it's wrong for me to feel happy because I'm so ashamed that I let myself get to this state in the first place. How do you fight that?