need advise

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2

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  • tomorrowistoday0000
    tomorrowistoday0000 Posts: 125 Member
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    _dracarys_ wrote: »
    mjtaylor87 wrote: »
    I am very happily married to my best friend. we will celebrate our 2 year wedding anniversary at the end of this month and have been together for 6 years. I have no doubt in my mind about him.

    Then don't make him have doubts in his mind about you.

    An absolute good point here! You have no idea what's going through your hubby's head, he's going to start having doubts and you'll never even know. You can strengthen your marriage by putting it first and cutting the ties or create chaos by continuing on this path. Which ever you chose, own it completely. Best of luck to you hun, you're going to need it.
  • tuckerrj
    tuckerrj Posts: 1,453 Member
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    Sure, meet him. But take your husband with you. Otherwise, h-e-l-l no!
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,507 Member
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    ..... just getting together for a quick bite to eat?

    did he suggest this cozy diner ?




    diner04-1152x400.jpg
  • captainfantastic94
    captainfantastic94 Posts: 1,745 Member
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    senior_citizen wrote: »
    You have a solemn duty to fulfil your marriage vows. Do not sin against God and your husband. Cut all ties with this man and focus on your life.

    Someday i'll figure you out @senior_citizen , ive narrowed it down to actually the old guy in the picture or a young guy pretending to be the old guy in the picture
  • captainfantastic94
    captainfantastic94 Posts: 1,745 Member
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    Honestly you are going to do what you want, but if you actually have no interest in adultry then talk to your husband about the situation, see where his line of cofortability is with this ex and then invite him to dinner with the two of you. If you have any alteriour motives outside of best buds, then bail on your hubby and shack up with the ex. Nobody deserves to be cheated on
  • patrick_star_trek
    patrick_star_trek Posts: 1,386 Member
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    Caporegiem wrote: »
    Ask yourself, would you be okay with your husband going and seeing his old flame Tiffany?

    Tiffany is trouble. I went to middle school with her and she was skanky even THEN!
  • Caporegiem
    Caporegiem Posts: 4,297 Member
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    no_no_notorious wrote: »
    Caporegiem wrote: »
    Ask yourself, would you be okay with your husband going and seeing his old flame Tiffany?

    Tiffany is trouble. I went to middle school with her and she was skanky even THEN!

    See OP, everyone knows Tiffany.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,507 Member
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    no_no_notorious wrote: »
    Caporegiem wrote: »
    Ask yourself, would you be okay with your husband going and seeing his old flame Tiffany?

    Tiffany is trouble. I went to middle school with her and she was skanky even THEN!

    Tiffany?

    I dunno.... I liked her




    .... for about 20 minutes
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,507 Member
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    CornflakeGirl01 wrote: »
    This is a problem that you are even entertaining this. You need to reevaluate your marriage and what exactly this man is potentially fulfilling for you, then focus on getting that from your marriage. It may seem cold to cut him off, but it is for the health of your marriage. He needs to go to counseling and leave you alone. These are the sticky, grey situations that many people find themselves in that lead to complete madness, sadness, and pain.

    I recommend reading "The Five Love Languages". It is an older book, but relevant to anyone married. I think everyone needs to spend time thinking about what is written in this book and find out what they want from their spouse. It is an easy read.

    Delete him from your FB friends.

    Mad Re5pext

    This is Solid Advice.


    (don't get cocky)
  • Vikka_V
    Vikka_V Posts: 9,563 Member
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    mjtaylor87 wrote: »
    I am very happily married to my best friend. we will celebrate our 2 year wedding anniversary at the end of this month and have been together for 6 years. I have no doubt in my mind about him.

    A couple of months ago i reconnected with an old friend. we were not actually a couple as much as just friends who would help scratch an itch, if you know what I mean. We were very good friends and felt very strongly for each other but never really worked out together. We recontacted on facebook because him and his wife were having some very big issues and they are the type of couple that air all their dirty laundry on facebook. SO i reached out so see if he needed some one to talk to.

    I did this because when we first met and became friends i was married to my ex husband. No i did not cheat on my ex husband. My ex was verbally and mentally abusive and i feared things were about to take a turn to physically abusive. This friend noticed all of the signs of an abusive relationship and helped me to see that i deserved so much more and should be treated better. He was there for me through the whole thing. So when i saw they were having issues i stepped up to be the friend he was to me.

    Over the last few months we have had off and on contact. Mostly when either his wife does something to make him mad or my husband does something to make me mad. We lean on each other a little because in both of our lives almost all of our friends are family and we find it is easier and safer to get these things off our chest and talk about things to some one that does not know our significant other.

    The last two weeks have been hard on them and it seems that they are going to officially split up. Now we have both admitted that we will always have feelings for each other and he has said on countless occasions that if me and my husband ever split that he would leave his wife for me. I have no intention of ever being with him and i tell him that every time. My husband knows all about him and i always make sure to let him know when i have talked to him so he never feels like i am hiding anything.

    He wants to meet with me. We have not been in the same room for about 6 years. I almost feel weird about it. he said it will just be eating and catching up. I fully intend to talk to my husband about it first to make sure he feels ok about it. I guess im just wanting some ones opinion on the situation. Im still uneasy about it and cant really pin point why.

    The bolded part is concerning to me. "If" you split up from your husband...so does he want to divorce his wife but is just waiting for another option to be there? Kinda insinuates that to me.

    Other than that, I'd say go out with him because you are curious to meet up with him again. Otherwise it will just be in your head and you will wonder about it.

    I'd make sure to invite your husband to go along and if he wants to go make it work so all three of you can go out together.

  • Sivadee00
    Sivadee00 Posts: 428 Member
    edited July 2017
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    Sometimes the best love a person can offer is being able to let someone else go. It sounds terrible but there are benefits for everyone involved in the long run. Such as avoiding heartache, drama, or other negative complications. Just my two cents.
  • Panda8ach
    Panda8ach Posts: 518 Member
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    Feelings are a wild and sometimes uncontrollable.... Don't do it if you love your husband. You have no idea how you'll feel about this guy if you do meet him. Keep the lid on the can!
  • mjtaylor87
    mjtaylor87 Posts: 242 Member
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    Mixed it up. My husband, our kids, and I are meeting Him, his wife and their kids to go to the Children's museum. After talking to my husband and he didn't care at all about me going i found that what i was more uncomfortable about was that i didn't know whether he was being honest with his wife. So i man him an honest man lol and called her. made arrangements for everyone to go on our pass for free and we could all get to know each other.
  • mjtaylor87
    mjtaylor87 Posts: 242 Member
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    BowlingForHollars wrote: »
    mjtaylor87 wrote: »
    Mixed it up. My husband, our kids, and I are meeting Him, his wife and their kids to go to the Children's museum. After talking to my husband and he didn't care at all about me going i found that what i was more uncomfortable about was that i didn't know whether he was being honest with his wife. So i man him an honest man lol and called her. made arrangements for everyone to go on our pass for free and we could all get to know each other.

    Finally this story got hot!

    lol really i would have thought that would have cooled it down a little.
  • SomebodyWakeUpHIcks
    SomebodyWakeUpHIcks Posts: 3,836 Member
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    mjtaylor87 wrote: »
    I am very happily married to my best friend. we will celebrate our 2 year wedding anniversary at the end of this month and have been together for 6 years. I have no doubt in my mind about him.

    A couple of months ago i reconnected with an old friend.

    What kind of work does he do?
  • mjtaylor87
    mjtaylor87 Posts: 242 Member
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    he was a guard for a Juvenal center. but he told me the other day he was getting on with a delevery service. My husband is a jail deputy for the local county jail
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    mjtaylor87 wrote: »
    Mixed it up. My husband, our kids, and I are meeting Him, his wife and their kids to go to the Children's museum. After talking to my husband and he didn't care at all about me going i found that what i was more uncomfortable about was that i didn't know whether he was being honest with his wife. So i man him an honest man lol and called her. made arrangements for everyone to go on our pass for free and we could all get to know each other.

    I thought he was ditching the wife?
  • mjtaylor87
    mjtaylor87 Posts: 242 Member
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    now they are working things out. its a day by day thing with them. I am excited though because i have always wanted to meet his wife.

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