Can't maintain but keep losing...

Lillymoo01

It is really doing my head in. For months I have been trying to find how much I need to eat to maintain. I think I have it as my weight is quite consistent for a few weeks and then bam, I start losing again. I now have the app set to gain 1/4 kilo a week and am still losing. My BMI is now around 20.

I now have my psychologist on my case with wanting me to gain weight. I agree that I'd be better off around 4 kilograms heavier. Her recommendation is to limit exercise to only 30 minutes a day of walking as I am currently averaging around 2 hours. I am sure doing this will have me put on fat only rather than muscle. It is just stressing me out!

Lillymoo01

I have MFP synced with Pacer pedometer & weight loss coach so I am eating back all my steps taken also.

livingleanlivingclean

Have you considered weight training whilst eating in a surplus? (apologies if you already do, I get the impression you walk for exercise...)

And how do you determine how much you're eating? Are you weighing/measuring, or just guesstimating?

TavistockToad

Stop exercising if you can't fuel it.

You need to eat more, full stop

Lillymoo01

I weigh all solids and measure all liquids making sure I use entries that match the USDA database. I was doing what strength training I could with a stuffed up knee but not so much in the last month or so. Probably need to do more of that knowing it doesn't burn many calories. It will increase my metabolism even more though and it is a struggle to eat what is allotted to me now. My macros are around 40% carbs, 25% proteins and 35% fats.

TavistockToad

Peanut butter is your friend

livingleanlivingclean

Macros are irrelevant - you need enough calories. Pick calorie dense foods and perhaps try drinking calorific drinks between meals instead of plain water.

Adding muscle will add weight though, which is what you need if you don't just want to put on fat.

Lillymoo01

Sorry but have a daughter with anaphylaxis to peanuts. That and I can't stand the taste. I do have almonds and cashews daily though which I eat according to how many more calories I need to consume.

The biggest problem is that the goal post for how much I need to consume keeps shifting which is so frustrating.

TavistockToad

Lillymoo01 wrote: »

Sorry but have a daughter with anaphylaxis to peanuts. That and I can't stand the taste. I do have almonds and cashews daily though which I eat according to how many more calories I need to consume.

The biggest problem is that the goal post for how much I need to consume keeps shifting which is so frustrating.

If you're still losing then you need more calorie dense food in your diet. Peanut butter was just one example.

Lillymoo01

There is also the fear that if I eat too much and gain too quickly that I'll become accustomed to that level of food and keep gaining.

I'll just keep adding extra calories each week and hopefully the tide will turn and I'll start gaining really soon before I am underweight by BMI and looks. Just never realised how hard it would be to find the right amount of food for maintenance.

TavistockToad

Lillymoo01 wrote: »

There is also the fear that if I eat too much and gain too quickly that I'll become accustomed to that level of food and keep gaining.

I'll just keep adding extra calories each week and hopefully the tide will turn and I'll start gaining really soon before I am underweight by BMI and looks. Just never realised how hard it would be to find the right amount of food for maintenance.

You won't suddenly gain loads of weight. You mention a psychologist but are you actually having therapy to help with your eating?

Lillymoo01

Therapy for PTSD

amusedmonkey

Add more oil/butter to your food. It's an easy fix that does not result in increased volume.

animatorswearbras

Olive oil, drizzled on salads or veggies roasted in lashings of olive oil and herbs also avocados are great. And as your doc says just cut down the cardio, 30 mins a day is plenty to maintain fitness and heart health and do less calorie intense exercises maybe like yoga if you can't do weights or other types of resistance training xxxx Don't be frightened of putting on a bit of fat it's almost impossible to gain just muscle mass alone you'll still be very lean. x

Rincewind_1965

Having difficulties with the change of strategy is quite normal.
For the time it took to reach your goal it was considered positive to stay below your daily calorie-budget.

Now "staying below" suddenly is unwanted, it my take some for this to arrive in your brain (for me it took almost three months and 2 kilograms below my original goalweight-zone).
I'm maintaining within my goalweight-zone for 8 months now ...

Lillymoo01

Detritus_1965 wrote: »

Having difficulties with the change of strategy is quite normal.
For the time it took to reach your goal it was considered positive to stay below your daily calorie-budget.

Now "staying below" suddenly is unwanted, it my take some for this to arrive in your brain (for me it took almost three months and 2 kilograms below my original goalweight-zone).
I'm maintaining within my goalweight-zone for 8 months now ...

I think this explains a lot of it. Just a totally different mindset, especially as I have been overweight most of my life.

sijomial

I wonder if setting your calorie goal manually would take away any negative emotions of having to set yourself up to "gain 1/4 kilo a week"?
Then it becomes just your maintenance goal with no scary connotations of weight gain.

You also could try and mentally regard the goal the same way you might regard a fitness goal - something that feels good to hit, as opposed to something you are fearful of exceeding.

Is there a compromise you can make between your psychologist wanting you to cut down to 30 minutes of exercise and your wish to do more? Alternate days or meet in the middle perhaps?

Best of luck.

deannalfisher

can you open up your diary? folks here might be able to give you some more ideas about where to increase calories

if you keep your weight consistent, then start dropping, up your calories again - it will take time to figure out your maintenance (I went from avg 1800 a day to 2400 a day over the last 5 months working with a couple of RDs) - they tweak my calories when they drop too low

allyphoe

sijomial wrote: »

I wonder if setting your calorie goal manually would take away any negative emotions of having to set yourself up to "gain 1/4 kilo a week"?

I increased my MFP activity level, when my brain was having issues with my calorie budget.

Lillymoo01

That is what I have been doing deannalfisher. I keep upping, maintaining for a bit, then dropping and have been doing so for 3 months. Just that now I really am too skinny. It is so frustrating. Wish I could wave a magic wand, have gained a few kilos and be eating the amount I need to maintain. I know where to increase calories. Be it salad dressings, more seeds, grains, legumes and nuts, full cream dairy (although I like to keep saturated fats down because of a high risk of colon cancer), dark chocolate, did I just say dark chocolate!....... Just calorie dense foods really. I have actually added an extra meal a day into my diet in recent weeks which has helped to up the calories without feeling over full. I do pretty much meet my calorie requirements and am rarely more than 100 calories under where my goals are set which theoretically should still have me gaining. Guess my metabolism is better than I assumed. I shouldn't really complain because it is already 250 calories higher than any online calculator has given me for maintenance.
I'll get used to the mind set of gaining rather than losing. I'll get there. It will just take time. Just need to try not to stress to much.

sijomial wrote: »

Is there a compromise you can make between your psychologist wanting you to cut down to 30 minutes of exercise and your wish to do more? Alternate days or meet in the middle perhaps?

Best of luck.

It is that or 2 days of no exercise with more exercise on the other 5. I think for the most part she actually wants me to stop and address my emotions, rather than running from them and the restlessness I feel because of the trauma I have been through as much as anything. Serves two purposes. I also don't really have a problem with having my goal as gaining. That is what I have to do. Whatever I set it as is just a means of getting an accurate number. Nothing more and nothing less. It looks like I will be upping it to gaining 1/2 kilo a week next week (when I get back from a 3 day vacation) and hopefully with that I will start seeing the scales slowly creep in the other direction.

deannalfisher

just remember that MFP is at best an estimation based on the info that you put in - individual results will vary - so even if its telling you you are eating enough, you need to up the calories

maybe working with an RD would help you - they can help identify areas where you can increase calories and come up with a plan, working with your therapist on way ahead

kgirlhart

You are definitely not alone in this. I have had the same trouble. I reached my goal last year in July and I am about 13 pounds lighter now than I was then. It can be hard to figure out how much you actually need to eat. And I have the same fears that if I start eating more I will gain and keep gaining. Or if I exercise less I will start to gain, but I really don't want to cut back my exercise. I think @Detritus_1965 is exactly right. It is hard to change your mindset. For now I still log because I feel like if I just ate what I thought I needed I would be likely to undereat. And it is frustrating because my fitbit tells me I am over my calorie goal almost every day. (I have determined that my fitbit underestimates my calorie burn so I purposely go over, but being in the red every day messes with my head some.)You really will need to either eat more or exercise less. I have manually set my goal on mfp so I don't usually go over here. In addition to some of the other suggestions, I would recommend that you start drinking some calories too. I have started drinking gatorade after I run. Or you could drink juice or something if you just want to add calories but aren't particularly hungry. You might also consider an exercise like yoga if you want to do something active but that isn't a big calorie burner.

jswigart

I know how you feel. I have struggled with this myself. I think I have finally found an equilibrium. You just have to keep experimenting with the settings in MFP until you find the amount of calories you burn per day plus exercise calories that will offset the calories you eat.
I think that 2 hours a day of exercise is a bit excessive. I am currently doing 1 hour a day in 2 - 1/2 hour sessions. I find this to be just right. It usually allows 900 calories for me to eat back. I figure my BMR is around 1700 calories per day and I add the 900 to that.
It's just a balancing act and can take some time to find what is right for you.

Theo166

Am curious why you are walking 2 hrs a day. Since you are beyond trying to burn calories, maybe save time and substitute some higher intensity training, which gives additional health benefits.

Regardless of what the app suggests for you, it's a simple process to fine tune your maintenance level. Do exactly what you were doing but add 2 tbls of peanut butter on toast to your day, that's a 1/4 kilo a week right there.

In all your weighing, make sure the error is towards gaining weight, you may be too harsh and tipping it towards losing weight.

kimie54

I actually think this will be a common fear for many of us, when we reach our weight goals. I think the best thing to do is add very slowly, so you aren't afraid of gaining. It was slow coming off, so why can't it be slow, while figuring out maintenance? Good luck!

spiriteagle99

I am also having a bit of a hard time with maintaining. I continued to lose for a few months after I reached my goal. Now I am mentally stuck between knowing I'm a bit underweight and not wanting to gain again for fear that I won't stop gaining. I already eat a lot, since I run a lot, and I eat back all my exercise calories. I often end up eating more than my goal, and since I'm not gaining I have figured out that my goal is probably too low. But it is discouraging to see the red number at the end of the day, even if I know that it won't hurt me to be over on my calories. I think I've found a balance, finally, but I'll only know for sure if I stay here for more than a week or two. There's a little voice in my head that wonders, "I wonder if I can lose the extra fat that still lingers?"

Lillymoo01

I have cut my exercise in half over the last 4 days and increased my calories by 250. Still not seeing the scales go up (in fact they went down to start with). I know I shouldn't complain though as it means I can eat way more than the average person my height and weight.

I will get there one day. Just better not to stress about it and with a BMI of 20 I am still a healthy weight.

amusedmonkey

Lillymoo01 wrote: »

I have cut my exercise in half over the last 4 days and increased my calories by 250. Still not seeing the scales go up (in fact they went down to start with). I know I shouldn't complain though as it means I can eat way more than the average person my height and weight.

I will get there one day. Just better not to stress about it and with a BMI of 20 I am still a healthy weight.

Cutting exercise down causes the chronic water retention typically there for muscle repair to go down. 4 days is not enough. Give it time before increasing calories again.

sijomial

Lillymoo01 wrote: »

I have cut my exercise in half over the last 4 days and increased my calories by 250. Still not seeing the scales go up (in fact they went down to start with). I know I shouldn't complain though as it means I can eat way more than the average person my height and weight.

I will get there one day. Just better not to stress about it and with a BMI of 20 I am still a healthy weight.

Well done. :flowerforyou:

RedSierra

You talked about having PTSD. Walking is very good for emotional/psychological stress. It gets you out of the house and can take you out of your head. You could walk slower to burn fewer calories.

What about some easy to drink beverages with calories? I like Silk Protein Nutmilk -- 130 calories a cup and 10 G protein. It doesn't have peanuts. You could also look up recipes and make your own shakes.

I second the suggestion for avocado -- it's great in salads and you can also put it on toast.

Lillymoo01

I did really well and managed to put on 1/2 kilo over 3 weeks. Then it all went down the toilet. Literally.
Not stressing about it anymore. Just making sure I don't lose anymore weight so my BMI doesn't drop below 20.

Weird that I set my goal to gain 1/2 kilo a week, ate back nearly all of my exercise calories (never more than 100 calories under) and didn't really gain over a 3 week period. Must have a great metabolism.