My What, Why, and How

Mum24Kids

I've been in and out more than I care to admit. I was weighing the dog, and when I realised that I had hit 91kg, and heard the fear in my beloved husband's voice as he realised it, something broke inside me. My what- to regain excellent health and fitness, and remember the woman my husband fell in love with. Not physically- I've grown and birthed four children, and I am proud of that. What I mean is that she was confident. She knew she was deserving of love and respect, knew what she wanted, and knew how to care for herself. My why? At present, I struggle with basic things, and it's affecting my mental health. My husband works away from home during the week, and I work at caring for our children, puppy, and home. The children are 10,9,6, and 5. I am over being exhausted all the time, and recurring shingles episodes from a weak immune system. I can't do my job as well as I would like, because I have little strength and less energy. This excess weight is holding me down. Now to the how of it all- basic nutrition and increased activity. I will be the first to admit that my diet has long suffered, both from a lack of self-esteem, and a busy lifestyle, as well as emotional eating. I want to be free, and establish new habits, ones which I would be proud of. So I'm not logging every morsel, because while it is helpful I don't find the accompanying obsession it inspires to be as helpful. My husband remembered how much I loved going to the gym last year, and has offered to buy me a membership, which will allow me to attend classes, use the equipment, and swim. While he loves my shape, he does worry for my health. I'm only 150cm (just under 5ft) tall, and that weight is too much for my frame. For now, I am framing it like this: He is my employer, and self-care (via exercise, nutrition, and other rewarding activities (Bible study, community choir) are simply part of my job, as much as cooking dinner or taking the dog to the vet. Maybe even more so, because if my health deteriorates, I can't do those things.
So here I am, at the beginning of a change which will be permanent. My struggle is not a lack of knowledge, but wrestling with my own thoughts. Thanks for reading, feel free to add me if you'd like, and have a great day!

JustSomeEm

You've got this! :flowerforyou:

Mum24Kids

Thank you. It's the first time I've put this much thought into it.

happyauntie2015

You've laid everything on the line and to me it sounds like you are more than ready most Importantly for yourself and your health but also for your family! You can and will do this!!

Mum24Kids

Thank you. I feel much more confident now, or maybe I'm clearer about my reasons for doing this.