Long time maintainers - when did your brain catch up?

justkeeprunning91

Hi all, I'm currently about 10lbs from goal, which will put me down 90lbs total on a 5'4.5" small frame. I'm happy with my success but I still feel huge (likely as a result of being obese since childhood). My question for all of you who have been maintaining for a while is how long did it take your brain and self perception to catch up to the reality of your weight loss?

iammichele

I am also about 10 pounds from my goal weight after losing 117 so far during the past 3 years. I hope to get some insight on this question as well as I also still feel huge at times. I am wondering if we have just gotten use to our smaller size as we physically shrunk and our brain is still in critical mode from being obese all of the prior years. I also was obese since childhood. The only thing I can say for sure on your question is that you are not alone. Congratulations on your weight loss, you have done wonderful things for your body!

lorrpb

I've been on this journey 3 years, lost 150 lb, maintaining since last fall, and my brain still has not completely caught up. I did not see myself as obese as I was "before" and I still don't see myself the smaller size I am now. It's a gradual process. For me it has taken lots of photos, before and after by myself and with others, lots of smaller sized clothes, new experiences, etc. Our psyche is very slow, but that doesn't mean it hasn't happened. Focus on the FACTS rather than the "feelings". I actually love seeing old pics of myself, because they are good reminders of the progress I've made! I KNOW I don't look like that anymore, but I'm still shocked when I see a pic where I look tall and thinner
On the left, 2013:


On the right, 2017:

richardgavel

It took 9 months to lose about 60 lbs. Been in the same 7 lb range (165-157) for 13 months. It's taken much of that time at maintenance to accept that I'm truly thinner. It's made harder by the fact that I'm still skinny fat (19% BF). What my brain still hasn't accepted is that this is the new normal.

88olds

I lost 100+lbs. 10?yrs at goal. I was still throwing away fat clothes at least 3 yrs after goal.

SandraMcLeod72

I'm 6 (I think...I've lost track) or 7 years at goal & I still have trouble some weeks & months with my mind catching up to with my body. I think this is one of the hardest part of the puzzle. It's also a case of never ever believing you got this thing beat. Just in the past 6 months I've struggled with my mind slipping back into old grooves. Some thoughts are much more stubborn than others. And this is why I'm now studying psychology so I can try to find long terms answers that help more people!! And congratulations on getting so far!! Well done!

OliveGirl128

SandraMcLeod72 wrote: »

I'm 6 (I think...I've lost track) or 7 years at goal & I still have trouble some weeks & months with my mind catching up to with my body. I think this is one of the hardest part of the puzzle. It's also a case of never ever believing you got this thing beat. Just in the past 6 months I've struggled with my mind slipping back into old grooves. Some thoughts are much more stubborn than others. And this is why I'm now studying psychology so I can try to find long terms answers that help more people!! And congratulations on getting so far!! Well done!

This. I'm 4 years into maintenance and I still have days where I feel like a failure/feel overweight. I actually had a 'moment' this morning when I saw myself in the mirror and was like 'blech' but the scale put my bmi at 20.5 I don't know if this will every go away fully, but the further along you get into maintenance the less it happens I think.

lorrpb

It is so awesome to hear from those of you who have maintained for years! It reassures me I can stick with this forever. @OliveGirl128 @SandraMcLeod72 @88olds @richardgavel

mamadon

It's weird, I've been maintaining for 3 1/2 years a 118 pound loss. I was the opposite. At first I felt so darn skinny. Now, sometimes I look in the mirror and I feel I look chubby. I think it's just because I've gotten used to looking how I look and my critical self is popping up again.

1reason2live4

Four years, 165 pounds shed. Went from 4xl tee shirts to large last week. I still start by grabbing 2xl then put them back and grab xls...then put them back on the shelf and try on large...and what do you know...they fit! Mind is still catching up with reality. New clothes, new activities, new photos. It is a slow process to change body image. Not sure when the journey will be complete. Very happy and satisfied with my progress....now my lizard brain needs to be more supportive.

cwolfman13

Never really had that problem...I do have days where I just feel kinda "fluffy", but that's about it. Today I'm feeling a little "fluffy" but ironically I'm down about 1 Lb from last Friday.

I kinda always had the opposite issue. When I was in my teens I was rail thin...put on some healthy weight in my 20s but was still pretty lean. I put my not so healthy weight on in my 30s and was pretty oblivious really...I still always saw myself as a lean guy even though I ultimately ended up just over the line to obese...I still saw myself as a pretty lean and fit guy. I'm pretty much where I was in my 20s now.

Tweaking_Time

I lost about 75-80 pounds (depending on the day) in 18 months. When I hit goal I felt and looked great and eventually left MFP and a year or two later, cancelled my old MFP account. Over the next 12 to 18 months after I stopped logging, my body shape slowly changed to where I was no longer happy with the results. I slowly realized I was not exercising as much as when I was logging and I gradually started snacking again in the evenings....and...I also gained back about 5 to 8 pounds. Lifelong habits are hard to break.

To fix this problem, I rejoined MFP about 7 months ago. All the weight gain is gone and then some. I am "logging for life" now - literally. I also have a small list of amazing MFP friends that are super active that keep me motivated.

P.S. - Don't ever cancel your old MFP account if you leave...when you come back you have to enter all of your meals/recipes all over again.

avpar

Maintaining weight range can be tricky as it is easy to get complacent and put on a few extra pounds.
For this, weekly weigh-in can help maintaining perspective

So even after weight loss, focusing on calorie intake week by week helps a lot to maintain weight.

TimothyFish

When I was obese I felt like I was just a few pounds overweight. It took me a while to step on the scales and admit I needed to do more than just take the stairs more. For that reason I no longer pay much attention to what my brain is telling me.

nxd10

It did take a couple of years. Every time I looked in the mirror or caught my reflection I was surprised. Now it looks like me.

STEVE142142

First of all congratulations on your success.

I've been maintaining in the area of 9 to 10 months. I've lost 80 pounds and have stayed within that Los plus or minus a couple pounds.

One of the biggest realities for me was about 6 months into the maintenance. I walked into one of the big box stores and I went into the bathroom I looked at the mirror and I said what the hell is wrong with that mirror and I realized at that point that's the new me. On the other hand I still have the old image in my brain and I don't know if that's ever going to fully disappear.

I've had plenty of people who don't know me make comments to me saying how fit and healthy I look. On the outside I say thank you very much but inside my mind is going with the hell are they talking about.

SandraMcLeod72

I think the trick is never believe the journey will finish. I think it was Biatrric Girl whom quoted it first, but it's my favourite saying, "being overweight is hard, losing weight is hard, maintaining weight loss is hard. Choose your hard". I have had more struggles in the past year when I let myself think that I because I hit the precious 5 year mark, I was "cured". 5 year mark is the average that researchers have come up with that if you reach 5 years at maintainence, you will keep it off for like. Nope, not true, for me at least.
I never thought I was as big as I was. I was always a taller person, so I could carry more before I looked "fat" even though I was already well overweight. I still struggle to see myself slim. I use other people who are a similar height & clothing size to gauge my reality, rather than my warped self image. Thankfully I have a good friend AND Amy Schumer as a guide.

raleighgirl09

Tweaking_Time wrote: »

I lost about 75-80 pounds (depending on the day) in 18 months. When I hit goal I felt and looked great and eventually left MFP and a year or two later, cancelled my old MFP account. Over the next 12 to 18 months after I stopped logging, my body shape slowly changed to where I was no longer happy with the results. I slowly realized I was not exercising as much as when I was logging and I gradually started snacking again in the evenings....and...I also gained back about 5 to 8 pounds. Lifelong habits are hard to break.

To fix this problem, I rejoined MFP about 7 months ago. All the weight gain is gone and then some. I am "logging for life" now - literally. I also have a small list of amazing MFP friends that are super active that keep me motivated.

P.S. - Don't ever cancel your old MFP account if you leave...when you come back you have to enter all of your meals/recipes all over again.

I'm in the "lost a bunch and then had a regain" club which I have actually done a few times. This is the first time using MFP since April and I can tell that this is an amazing difference in awareness. I also have an awesome scale and a Misfit that all work together and I have the data at hand, no blind eyes to the truth. I feel like I'll be a logger for life and am already thinking of my maintenance phase, something I have never done before - I basically just slid backward although I have maintained the majority of the pounds I initially lost.

seltzermint555

mamadon wrote: »

It's weird, I've been maintaining for 3 1/2 years a 118 pound loss. I was the opposite. At first I felt so darn skinny. Now, sometimes I look in the mirror and I feel I look chubby. I think it's just because I've gotten used to looking how I look and my critical self is popping up again.

This is sort of how it is for me, too.

I am up 11 lb from my lowest weight and still maintaining a 130 lb loss for 4 years, but that extra 11 lb is so weird for me and makes me think I am "back to normal" in my head (normal in this case being my former size 24 self). When I was at my lowest 2 years ago, I felt skinny. In fact it was like I traded in fear of looking too fat for a fear of looking gawky or gaunt, which friends & family would sometimes unconsciously encourage those fears by saying how my teeth looked too big for my head or my legs looked too skinny, etc. They seemed to have good intentions, but they NEVER commented on my heavier physique so it was hard.

I was around 250 lb for so many years that when I hit 300 at one point, I was shocked by photos of how big I'd gotten, and when I hit 180 and below I was shocked by how small I looked. Now I've become very critical again and do have a few lumps that I didn't have 11 lb ago...I am a little ashamed of how that relatively minor gain has affected my body image, it's nuts.

Pictures are my friend, as is the experience of grabbing XL and 1X stuff in a store and then laughing in the dressing room mirror when I clearly need M and L.

swim777

I'm in the "lost a bunch and then had a regain" club which I have actually done a few times. This is the first time using MFP since April and I can tell that this is an amazing difference in awareness. I also have an awesome scale and a Misfit that all work together and I have the data at hand, no blind eyes to the truth. I feel like I'll be a logger for life and am already thinking of my maintenance phase, something I have never done before - I basically just slid backward although I have maintained the majority of the pounds I initially lost. [/quote]

I have a misfit that along with mfp has been a great tool for keeping me aware and motivated. It was the first fitness tracker I tried, and I trust it. I lost over 70 lbs in a year. This second year I have struggled more with stress eating and being about 4-5 lbs above maintenance. I'm 62, which means nothing, lol, but I'm 5'3 1/2, and five lbs is about a size for me. After looking at last summer's data, I realize I was actually maintaining with more calories then I have allowed myself in a while. Hoping to do maintenance better soon!

loseitin_2016

It has taken me 5 years to lose 200 lbs.Even at 122 lbs I still don't feel like a thin person.I know I'm not fat anymore but when I look in the mirror I still see the middle age spread although I'm 62.I don't want to lose anymore.I am thinking of myself as healthy and not thin.Does that ever go away?Also I have at least 20 lbs of loose excess skin so to me I look like an 85 yr old woman but I won't have the surgery since I have no desire to weigh 100 at age 62.

CaliMomTeach

I haven't been maintaining for any amount of time (in fact regained a few pounds which I'm now trying to lose), but I am in constant denial of what size I really am to the point of arguing with a friend shopping with me, saying "I am NOT a small" or "I am not a size 4." I just went shopping this past week a few times, and am still feeling very weird that almost all of the tops I bought were smalls (2 were XS due to loose style), one long skirt was an XS, and today I tried on two pairs of size 4 jeans that fit me perfectly. I started at 193 and a size 14 last July. I have said numerous times "I am not that size" but various brands of clothing say differently. When I look in the mirror, I do not see a person this small at all. I still see fat. But once in a while I see a woman who looks thin and great and realize that it is actually me in a reflection or mirror somewhere. I have friends at a similar size and still see them as much smaller than me. I am waiting for my brain to catch up as well.

timtam163

I feel like I experienced the opposite thing: I was a skinny kid, so when I got to my heaviest weight in college I was in super denial about how I looked. I still saw the skinny girl inside. Though now I'm in denial again. Maybe the person we were as a kid/young adult is the person we will always expect to see.

I do however feel more intense feelings of being a "fraud"; like if people get to know me as thin they won't know me at my worst, and therefore won't know "all" of me. Also fear of looking in the mirror and suddenly seeing the me that was 6 sizes bigger.

But no... I don't know how long it takes to get used to being a certain size.