Anxiety and self-hatred

lar25473

How does one deal with anxiety and self-dislike? I'm struggling with both right now particularly after gaining back the weight I lost last year. It's really cutting into my personal image and my love of life. I can't stand to do almost anything right now because I feel so badly. I just want to be happy with myself again.

Numericmama373

If your anxiety is that crippling, I'd look at medication. There is no shame in fixing broken brain chemistry.

momofamadhouse

I have anxiety and depression and I understand where you're coming from. Exercise helps me, tremendously. It helps my symptoms so much that if I skip workouts more than 2 or 3 days in a row there is a significant difference in my mood and ability to manage stress. It was extremely difficult for me to start and I didn't notice the effects at first. Finding an activity that I enjoy gives my brain a break from negative thought cycles, a goal to focus on and a huge boost when that goal is accomplished.

Remember happiness comes from the inside. Self love is an act, not a feeling. Start acting out the love instead of trying to feel it. Treat yourself kindly. Give yourself some grace. Talk to yourself like you'd talk to a friend who was having the same problem. Your mistakes don't erase your achievements, and they don't determine your worth.

Also, don't dismiss the possibility of seeking treatment.

elephanteee

I feel you. I have lost 50lbs+ twice in the past 5 years and gained it all back (plus some) both times. I am now one week into my latest weight loss journey. It sucks. It is really difficult. I wear the same clothes everyday, constantly feel judged, and felt so much shame when I put all the weight back on. I feel like my weight makes everything so challenging, even though on a logical level I know that many of my fears have no basis in reality. I have mentioned on this site before that I have hardcore anxiety. I have found many unsuccessful ways to deal with it, like eating and drinking. But those are quick fixes and have only held me down and made me increasingly depressed. Even though it's only been a week, just the fact that I have made the push in a positive direction gives me motivation. This site gives me motivation. I log every meal, everyday, and even started exercising (something I haven't really ever done and have tried to avoid at all costs). I guess what I tell myself is that even though I am not there (where I want to be), I am not there (where I used to be) either. I suggest utilizing the MFP app, add people who are struggling with the same things you are, be consistent, and just ride it out. Time passes us by regardless of what we do with it, but what we choose to do with our time can help to produce long lasting changes. I added you as a friend. Message me if you're ever needing some support, I need it too! Good luck to you!

wynterphoenyx

*hugz* Always remember that while your feelings are always valid, they don't necessarily reflect reality. I absolutely get it, though. Feel free to message if you need to talk.

clarkeje1

I'm on Lexapro and Xanax. Tried therapy but the medication really just helps me the most. Also talking to friends. My boyfriend really helps me with my self hatred because he helps me speak up for myself and really values my opinion so I finally feel like I have a voice and that my thoughts and feelings are valid and should be respected

alkight84

I am on Lexapro as well. I have found since I have started working out I don't have to take it every day. The medication has helped but the excercise has as well. I have the same problem right now with not liking myself. I feel unattractive and kind of numb sometimes but when I feel this way I talk... To my husband, my mom or anyone. Heck even my 4 year old. Makes me feel needed and not alone.

snickerscharlie

alkight84 wrote: »

I am on Lexapro as well. I have found since I have started working out I don't have to take it every day. The medication has helped but the excercise has as well. I have the same problem right now with not liking myself. I feel unattractive and kind of numb sometimes but when I feel this way I talk... To my husband, my mom or anyone. Heck even my 4 year old. Makes me feel needed and not alone.

Are you consulting with the dr who prescribed the Lexapro to you? Skipping days arbitrarily is not recommended. Perhaps you can go on a lower daily dose? Please talk to your doctor about this.

Panda8ach

I have BPD and suffer with depression and anxiety also. This weight loss journey is helping me a lot but what has really helped is mindfulness meditation. Even just grabbing 5 minutes of peace and quite from the white noise going on in my head is lush ) Headspace is a really good app for beginners. I was on pregablin for my anxiety but I'm off it now because it's at a level I can manage. Stay strong and remember, anxiety is a horrible little voice that is always wrong!

88olds

Anxiety is a treatable condition. Self hatred sounds existential.

I didn't decide that I loved my 285lb fat self. But I acknowledged that I was only getting one life. I decided I was entiltled to decide for myself how I wanted to live.

Fight back against negative thinking. Negative thinking cannot be eradicated. Our brains are just constantly spewing out stuff. Lots of it is total junk. Sometimes the best we can do is neutralize the negatives. I think it's a mistake to think everything has to be flipped to a positive. Fighting back requires some work. You have to find the arguments that ring true to you.

Can we maybe agree that self hatred is an exaggeration? Can you think in terms of dissatisfaction, unhappiness? Can you think of yourself in any positive light? Hatred doesn't seem to leave much room to maneuver.

I think successful weight loss is about problem solving. Over and over and over. Less said about character or personality the better.

That_Country_Girl82

I completely understand . I have anxiety / panic attacks and depression. I take Xanax and celexa. Some days I feel like it don't help. I don't even want to get out of bed. I have to force myself. It is proven that exercise helps with anxiety. It really does. I get in my own world, listen to my favorite music and ignore everything around me. Some days I still find more difficult. Today is one of them. I don't talk to anyone at work really. I stay in my office alone. I am actually good with people. I am a nursing student along with 40 hour work week. It is stressful . It is good to have friends and family to count on to. I hate it when people say oh just get over it. People have no clue how difficult it is when they have never had the issue. If anyone needs to talk message me. I will listen or help get through an attack. Hope everyone has a great day!

lar25473

elephanteee wrote: »

I feel you. I have lost 50lbs+ twice in the past 5 years and gained it all back (plus some) both times. I am now one week into my latest weight loss journey. It sucks. It is really difficult. I wear the same clothes everyday, constantly feel judged, and felt so much shame when I put all the weight back on. I feel like my weight makes everything so challenging, even though on a logical level I know that many of my fears have no basis in reality. I have mentioned on this site before that I have hardcore anxiety. I have found many unsuccessful ways to deal with it, like eating and drinking. But those are quick fixes and have only held me down and made me increasingly depressed. Even though it's only been a week, just the fact that I have made the push in a positive direction gives me motivation. This site gives me motivation. I log every meal, everyday, and even started exercising (something I haven't really ever done and have tried to avoid at all costs). I guess what I tell myself is that even though I am not there (where I want to be), I am not there (where I used to be) either. I suggest utilizing the MFP app, add people who are struggling with the same things you are, be consistent, and just ride it out. Time passes us by regardless of what we do with it, but what we choose to do with our time can help to produce long lasting changes. I added you as a friend. Message me if you're ever needing some support, I need it too! Good luck to you!

It's exactly right how you said you felt shame and judged. That's how I feel right now. I have one friend in particular who is a very good close friend who loves me and supports me, but she doesn't know how to speak to me sensitively and in such a way that makes me feel as though she isn't judging me. Often she makes well-intended comments, like if I remark something about myself she'll say "you know how to change it". Which is true, but not very helpful when you feel badly.

I want to thank everyone for their responses. I worked out today it made me feel a lot better. I have a theory that being busy and not having proper time to exercise has been upsetting me and worsening my anxiety.

Vevvie

momofamadhouse wrote: »

...Finding an activity that I enjoy gives my brain a break from negative thought cycles...

I love this advice. For me, the activity is hiking in nature. Also, I noticed that if I was huffing and puffing up that steep hill, and focusing on just putting one foot in front of the other, there wasn't any room left in my brain to ruminate. And that little break from my worries will sometimes make all the difference. I still have a long way to go, and I do have my moments with low self-esteem too. Hang in there. It gets better.

Runninjustincase

I've had severe anxiety/panic for years. Medication (Xanax) has really been the only thing to really help me. CBT helps some but nothing like medication. You should go see a doctor for it.

missellesmarie

Coming back from anxiety can be super tough. I have extremely bad anxiety and I see a therapist for it. Genuinely would recommend seeing a therapist if you haven't already. They get a bad rep sometimes but the one I have is genuinely the nicest person ever. I hope you're anxiety eventually goes away and everything works out for you