Confidence / motivation

rjel78 · July 2017

As stated before I am having issues losing weight, and most of that is due to nutrition. I have found myself, when my anxiety is up or I'm bored, eating snacks when I shouldn't be. Not that they aren't healthy, it's just unnecessary calories being eaten. The reason for this unnecessary snacking is due to low confidence and motivation. I have struggled with weight since I was really young and never was at the "right weight" or even considered losing weight. This all came to a head a couple years ago when I knew a change needed to b made. However I have tried and failed so many times that it's starting to hit me that I have a huge, huge hill to climb. I am currently 402 and my goal weight is 200. There are plenty of days when I tell myself that there is no way I'm losing 200 lbs and it alters stuck in my head. I am starting to lose confidence and struggling to find motivation to see that ultimate goal. I will still go to the gym and try to fix eating habits. I know what needs to be done and I want to be 200 lbs so bad but with my history I am having trouble seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I give you guys so much credit who have done it and kept it off, I wish I had the confidence you do. I am not giving up, however I am not as posslitivor as I used to be.

AnnPT77 · July 2017

I don't have any fab advice about motivation, other than maybe make one small change at a time that you can stick to, and build on that, so that each small success can increase your confidence that you can achieve the next change, too. Persistence can be very valuable.

While I was losing, it also helped me to read posts in the success stories forum, and see people with stories similar to mine, how far they'd come, and how they did it. It made the idea seem more real and achievable.

Another thread in that forum that I found encouraging is the one about NSVs ( non-scale victories), where people talk about all the many positive changes they see along the way, even before they reach a major goal. It can be things like logging for their first full week, doing exercise even when it seemed hard, being able to cross their legs for the first time, reducing some of their meds, etc. So inspiring & encouraging!

I give you a lot of credit for getting started, and setting a goal that seems like a stretch to you. I think that in itself shows that the seeds of success are in you.

Best wishes as you move forward!

daniel_parrett · July 2017

think of it this way. you can realistically lose at least 2 lbs per week. if you took 1 year of your life and got your crap together, you would lose over 110 lbs. I don't know how old you are, but that concept got me going. I started at 370 and got down to 300. I want to be 200 as well, and that's a ways away, but I am 10 lbs away from the weight I was at when I was dating my wife. from there it should be down hill.

just focus on your non-negotiables:

log every day, even if you go over.
if you do go over, try not to go over your maintenance calories so you are at least breaking even and not gaining.
if you fall off, get back up the next day. don't beat yourself up, just get back to it.

I've been fat forever. this takes time, and it will be years to get to your goal, not to mention the willpower to maintain once you get there. take it a day at a time, and do what you can. your coworkers and family will definitely notice in as little as 2-3 months. that sounds like a ways away, but handle your business a day at a time and it adds up.

CJYogii · July 2017

Try planning for those extra calories. Leave 200 calories just in case you want something sweet for snacks

Blitzia · July 2017

Looking at a goal of 200 pounds can be overwhelming, maybe that's part of the reason you're giving up. Start smaller. Do you think you can lose 10 pounds? Make that your goal. Once you actually see progress, it becomes so much easier to keep going. In my opinion, the biggest factor in whether or not you stick to your diet is whether you believe you can lose the weight or not. Don't focus on how much you have to lose, focus on losing anything. Once you see progress, you'll have proved to yourself that you CAN lose weight. And if you can lose 10 pounds, you can lose the next, and the next, and the next. When you're making progress, it's much easier to resist the urge to snack. You can ask yourself, "Would I rather eat this snack or be 500 calories closer to my goal?"

My other advice: if you're eating out of boredom, exercise is a great solution. I don't know your health or what exercise is appropriate, but even a leisurely walk is better than sitting on the couch, and those 15 minutes you're walking will be 15 minutes you're not eating. You can go outside or even walk in place in front of the tv. Whatever gets you moving is better than sitting and eating.

DebLaBounty · July 2017

Goal: Lose 8 pounds in 4 weeks. Keep track of your calories and stay under your budget for the day. Reach the goal. Rejoice! Repeat.

Motorsheen · July 2017

rjel78 wrote: »

[ and try to fix eating habits. I know what needs to be done ].

here ya go.... instead of trying to make the changes, make the changes. You know what needs to be done.

just remember, you will stumble.

everyone does; just not everyone gets back up.

best of luck

kommodevaran · July 2017

To permanently lose weight, you need to change habits, attitude and environment. The more you have to lose, the bigger the changes have to be. It will be dramatic, but shouldn't feel unpleasant. To make it happen, YOU make it happen.

You aren't having issues losing weight, you're having issues eating less. Eating well makes it easier to eat less, but you still have to eat less, and you have to do it consistently, so you have to want to eat less. Eating too much isn't healthy, no matter what the food is. You have to stop eating because you are bored or anxious. Lots of other things are better to fix that. You also have to stop thinking about what you "should and shouldn't" do. You're an adult, you decide. Confidence comes from making your own decisions and seeing the results of those decisions. You have to let go of the past - or, rather, don't let your past define who you are now. And, again, don't TRY, you have to DO!

laurendunlop83 · July 2017

Hey I'm only at the start of my journey but like you my ultimate goal seems insurmountable from where I am right now. I've tried and failed so many times before and I think that the sheer scale of the challenge has been a big part of that. This time around I'm trying to do things differently setting myself small goals for a period of 4 weeks, things like 30 mins of exercise a day, eating slower, having a breakfast everyday, making my own lunch....small manageable goals that are making me feel better about myself everyday and making me want to push harder because I'm maintaining my motivation. I've felt disappointed at the lack of movement on the scales taking things this slowly but for the first time I feel like I'm forming the right habits that will change my life for the better and I know that by doing this the weightloss will come. Anyone can crash diet and lose a decent amount of weight in a short space of time but for people with so much more to lose it needs to be a gradual process of changing the habits of a lifetime. It's a marathon not a sprint and all that cliched s***. Wishing you every success x

displaced1 · July 2017

I recommend just one small step. Can you think of one thing you can do better today? Do that. And do it again the next day. Find something you can do to improve.

Mindless snacking, IMO, is not about motivation but about setting yourself up for success. Don't have snacks around you really enjoy or you'll tend to snack more. Change what you're doing during your regular snack time. Maybe get out of the house and read at the library, go take a walk, schedule a yoga class or volunteer at your most tempting snack time. Start a hobby that involves your hands. We are creatures of habit. Find ways to change your habits and it will be much easier for you.

Also, drink lots of water. If you drink until you're full you may not feel like eating. Try chewing minty gum instead of snacking. It will probably change the taste of your food enough so that you won't want it anymore.

Sandcastles61 · July 2017

Have you tried preplanning and portioning out your meals for the day? This helped me a lot, and I am able to include snacks into my day (or night) that have already been accounted for ..... maybe make a bowl of popcorn you can snack on while watching tv, or a bowl of frozen grapes (my personal favorite because it turns out they are yummy, and it takes a lot longer to eat them

) ...... Drinking water really does help too. Have a glass before your meal or snack and again after in addition to whatever you drink with your meal. Setting small goals helped a lot of my MFP friends with more weight to lose. There are also groups on here with individuals who have 100 pounds or more to lose that know your struggle and can be supportive. You CAN do this

richardgavel · July 2017

Long term, I don't see it as a motivation thing, because motivation goes up and down. When I started, I saw it more as reworking my habits. Once a habit is formed over a couple months, it doesn't take as much motivation to continue it. So at the beginning, when motivation is high, adjust the habits (logging, wrighing, exercising, etc) whether one at a time or all at once. But the key is in the repetition of those practices so they become habits.

Seffell · July 2017

daniel_parrett wrote: »

just focus on your non-negotiables:

log every day, even if you go over.
if you do go over, try not to go over your maintenance calories so you are at least breaking even and not gaining.
if you fall off, get back up the next day. don't beat yourself up, just get back to it.

That's some awesome piece of advice there! If you can follow it, you'll make it to whatever weight you want!

everher · July 2017

Stop thinking about your goal weight.

It will only overwhelm you and it's likely to change as you get closer to goal anyways. Focus on losing one pound. Just one pound. Then, focus on losing the next pound. Continue and repeat. Before you know it you will have lost all the weight you have to lose, but focusing on how far you have to go is only going to hinder you. Focus on the trees not the forest.

My advice re: snacking out of boredom is if you're only snacking because you're bored or anxious just cut out snacking. When I first started I stuck to eating at meal times only because I know I have a problem with snacking. Periodically when snacking gets out of control I reinforce the same habit of no snacks. Focus on addressing the boredom or anxiety rather than trying to treat it with food.

nokanjaijo · July 2017

I think the fix for this is to get your mind right. Mindfulness or mindfulness meditation, practice this. Learn to observe yourself, your thoughts, your state of mind. That is called "metacognition" and it is the source of self control, I think. When you feel anxious or bored, you won't run to food. It takes time but it's achievable. It's hard to explain how much of an improvement it is to be able to simply observe yourself becoming anxious instead of only being anxious but it is a total game changer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6T02g5hnT4

brznhabits · July 2017

Don't strive for perfection, strive to be better today than yesterday. To be better this month than last month. To be better this year than last year.

So my message isn't soft and fluffy - There is no light at the end of the tunnel. There is no end, there is better. For most people this is deciding to live your life differently, forever. Decide how you want your life to look and keep making incremental changes. You've had however many years of bad habits and it will take time to change those habits. And you will fail and you have to get back on the wagon. What in life are you dedicated to? Your job? a Marriage? Take those same skills and decide to be that dedicated to your life change.

As for building new skills I recommend these. It is very important not to try to do all these as once.
- Log everyday, no matter how bad the day
- Eliminate trigger foods one by one - in 30-90 day waves (one at a time)
- Try new healthier foods
- Add a new activity (burn), try yoga, walking, a set of stairs everyday, whatever, again in a wave, try only one thing in each 30-90 day wave
- Get consistent about water
- Surround yourself with healthier people, mind and body
- If you get off track go back to basics, log and water
- Set realistic goals, literally years
- Then get better at logging, more accuracy, etc.
- Start to understand macros.
- If you need a break, take a break and focus on your existing weight (at the time) and maintaining your recently developed skills.

And then once you have skills your body will change and you'll have to dedicate yourself to finding out what works then, say at 40 years old instead of 30.

Poisonedpawn78 · July 2017

We choose to go to the Moon! ...We choose to go to the Moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard; because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one we intend to win ..

-JFK

Confidence / motivation

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