Fluctuating.. maintaining, water retention.

mackenziefogelson

So I started this app about a year and a half ago, I lost 18 pounds and got down to 125 pounds, I have a decent amount of muscle so now looking back I looked pretty small, but randomely i get these spurts of water retention, up 10 pounds then boom one morning pee out 7, crazy I know.. then it happened again, 12 pounds in 2 days.. scary in a month back down, then a few months ago I had a little vaca, went hard on some sodium and crackers, went up 7 then back down 5.. but then I started stressing.. because I wasnt all the way down. Then the pounds started going back up. I am up 9 pounds in the last few months and it seems harder for me to drop it then ever. I am trying to relax, have confidence and not obsess, but I have suffered from Body disporphia so the obsessive thoughts stick. I dont want to be at 125 anymore but Id like to get to 132 as an ideal weight for me. Any advice? P.s. i did maintain my weigh for about 8 months with out and i just jumped back on. Also I can see/ feel the heaviness in my legs and side, like a ripple effect, indicating water like before.