Hecklers

I work out with a group of women at a boot camp class. I have never met a more supportive group of individuals. Being in that group has, I suppose, spoiled me. During the summer months, we take to the beach for our work outs unless, of course, it's raining; then we work out inside.

The other day when we were working out, a man roughly in his 40's was talking smack to one of the women I was next to while we were doing our drills. At first I thought, "She probably knows this man and he's probably kidding," because she was talking right back to him. So I asked her "Do you know this guy?" and she said a resounding "HELL NO!"

So, being supportive and wanting us both to just focus on the positive, I told her "Well, let's just ignore him." But then he said something that really crossed the line for me, and I'm not going to even repeat it because it was that misogynistic and cruel.

While I was doing my tricep dips, I craned my head over and said "Are you done?" Surprised, he said "No." So then I said "Well then, how can we help you." He grunted and said "You can't help me. Maybe in a couple of years you can help me."

After being the kind of girl to let things slide for years and years I spoke up and came back with "You know, you're right. Because for years to come I'll still be working out, my body will be stronger, I will be healthier and you'll just be sitting on your [enter desired expletive here] miserable, alone, looking and sounding just as ugly as you do now. Thanks for that motivation."


I know I probably just gave him the satisfaction of pissing me off but how do you deal with hecklers? Why are some people (fit or unfit) so eager to tear down those who are just trying to better themselves??

TLDR; Got heckled for trying to slim down and tone up at the beach. How do you deal with hecklers?

Replies

  • glin23
    glin23 Posts: 460 Member
    It's hard to do, but I just ignore them. There will always be hecklers and doubters, so I try not to waste my time.
  • Illona88
    Illona88 Posts: 903 Member
    Put in some very loud music.
  • JasonRDA
    JasonRDA Posts: 27
    Most of us have had people like that, they are insecure and trying to bring you down to make themselves feel better, I know it hurts but don't give them any satisfaction.
  • AmyZ46
    AmyZ46 Posts: 694 Member
    Wow , that's pretty mean . I have no idea what I would do and I hope I never have to find out because wow.
    What an ugly individual right?

    Agrown man acting like that is just unforgivable .


    Amy
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Good for you! Nice quick thinking.

    Did the douche walk away? Where was the instructor?
  • AleciaG724
    AleciaG724 Posts: 705 Member
    Believe it or not, it is based on their insecurities - they have to put others down in order to feel better about themselves. It's sad, but true.
  • Mslmesq
    Mslmesq Posts: 1,000 Member
    He was probably just pissed because he knew he could never get a girl as cute as you. Sorry that happened to you. What a jerk!
  • clamb176
    clamb176 Posts: 15 Member
    I wish! He stood there walked around and told us we weren't doing enough to "fix ourselves." We moved ourselves to the middle of the line of women and continued our work out and eventually he went away.
  • Kamikazeflutterby
    Kamikazeflutterby Posts: 770 Member
    1. Freeze butter, bring to the beach.

    2. Throw at heckler.
  • clamb176
    clamb176 Posts: 15 Member
    Wow , that's pretty mean . I have no idea what I would do and I hope I never have to find out because wow.
    What an ugly individual right?

    Agrown man acting like that is just unforgivable .


    Amy

    I don't know if I'd call him "grown" by that display, haha. I hope you never have to find out either! It's a good thing my biggest personality flaw is that I want to prove others wrong all the time!
  • clamb176
    clamb176 Posts: 15 Member
    1. Freeze butter, bring to the beach.

    2. Throw at heckler.

    Genius! Plus it can't be misconstrued as an attack because "I was just giving him something to snack on.":devil:
  • clamb176
    clamb176 Posts: 15 Member
    He was probably just pissed because he knew he could never get a girl as cute as you. Sorry that happened to you. What a jerk!

    Thank you for the compliment! It's difficult for me because I rely on positive attitudes ("You/We can do it!) to get me through my work outs without giving up. Next time I receive a heckle, I'll just replace it with a compliment in my head. :smile:
  • clamb176
    clamb176 Posts: 15 Member
    Believe it or not, it is based on their insecurities - they have to put others down in order to feel better about themselves. It's sad, but true.

    Yeah, I thought people left that behind in high school. I guess not.
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    So..some random guy just started criticizing and insulting your friend as she worked out? That's unbelievable!

    Being the delicate flower that I am, I probably would have unleashed a blue streak at him along the lines of "Hey, you %^%$%# piece of ^%$, why don't you shut the ^%$# up?" and then pointed out some of his imperfections in an unkind way. Your response was much more civilized, though.
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  • astartig
    astartig Posts: 549 Member
    I'd be all like, I have my cell phone here.. 911 for harassment.. here I go...
  • ostrichagain
    ostrichagain Posts: 271 Member
    Believe it or not, it is based on their insecurities - they have to put others down in order to feel better about themselves. It's sad, but true.

    Yeah, I thought people left that behind in high school. I guess not.

    Most people don't. Most people think it, but keep it to themselves. It takes a very unique kind of person to stand there and berate you like his opinion is that earth-shatteringly important.

    It's like you've encountered a super-rare, yet loud and obnoxious bird. Or a howler monkey at the zoo throwing his poop at people. Don't let his exotic behavior get under your skin.
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
    Believe it or not, it is based on their insecurities - they have to put others down in order to feel better about themselves. It's sad, but true.

    Yeah, I thought people left that behind in high school. I guess not.

    Most people don't. Most people think it, but keep it to themselves. It takes a very unique kind of person to stand there and berate you like his opinion is that earth-shatteringly important.

    It's like you've encountered a super-rare, yet loud and obnoxious bird. Or a howler monkey at the zoo throwing his poop at people. Don't let his exotic behavior get under your skin.

    This is so true most people are smart enough or compassionate enough to not say every thing they think or don't care enough to broadcast every thing they have in their heads. I do appreciate honest people but not to the point I am terribly tolerant of someone that would say mean things to strangers just for grins ****s and giggles.
  • My0WNinspiration
    My0WNinspiration Posts: 1,146 Member
    This is very bizarre. Are you in jr high? I have never seen an adult being heckled for working out. You must live near the ghetto or something.

    The "ghetto" has nothing to do with it.
  • clamb176
    clamb176 Posts: 15 Member
    This is very bizarre. Are you in jr high? I have never seen an adult being heckled for working out. You must live near the ghetto or something.

    The "ghetto" has nothing to do with it.
    I completely agree. This has nothing to do with socioeconomic status, areas lived/worked out in, etc. It's just obnoxious people being obnoxious. I've seen it happen in the nicest of gyms.
  • sharonfoustmills
    sharonfoustmills Posts: 519 Member
    what an *kitten*! some people just never grow up and don't have a kind bone in their body

    not sure what to do about it though, you can ignore him or you can do what you did (tell him off)- I personally would have probably told him to grow up, and if he really got me angry I might have told him to stop bothering people trying to compensate for his little d*** I know, just ugly, but I don't have much patience for bullies!
  • gigglybeth
    gigglybeth Posts: 365 Member
    I wish! He stood there walked around and told us we weren't doing enough to "fix ourselves." We moved ourselves to the middle of the line of women and continued our work out and eventually he went away.

    What the hell??? Ah yes. Someone who berates others during a fitness class is really the authority on self-improvement.

    Why didn't the instructor tell him to get out of there??
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I'm always a little surprised by these stories as I hear about them relatively frequently here on MFP...honestly though, I've never actually seen this happen or encountered this personally. I always find it somewhat unbelievable, but it must happen.
  • moonshine_betty
    moonshine_betty Posts: 169 Member
    I'd like to think I'd verbally cut him down to size with a quickness but knowing me, I'd probably be stunned into silence and then think of a clever retort way after the fact. Or I'd just ignore him...I live in NYC, land where people have gotten stabbed for horrible offenses like daring to take up two seats on the subway (true story), so I'd probably bite my tongue for fear of ending up a cautionary tale. I think you handled him marvelously...good job on sticking up for yourself. I agree with the general consensus...dude sounds like an insecure little man who gets his jollies by trying to bring others down.
  • ilmb87
    ilmb87 Posts: 216 Member
    1. Freeze butter, bring to the beach.

    2. Throw at heckler.

    I don't know...that sounds like a perfectly good waste of butter. The guy's not worth the effort.