Aggressive women...

FitForeverAgain

Nice ego boost at the gym this morning - but presented a dilemma.

I don't go the gym often, but when I do (insert Dos Equis joke here) it's always entertaining to see the 'types' of people working out. I'm a low-key, quiet, hit it hard, don't look around much and then leave kind of guy. So there I am this morning, completing an upper body circuit being oblivious to the world, and this cute (guessing 10 years younger than me) fit girl strokes right up to me as I'm panting on the seated row machine, and says she's been watching me work out. Then she asks if I'd like to work out with her next time our schedules would mesh, and maybe we could do something afterwards! So, don't get me wrong, it didn't bug me one bit - great conversation, and who doesn't want a hot brunette whose all sweaty hanging out with them!? She wasn't creepy about it, but she had zero hesitation.

Point of all this? I always saw the gym as "off limits". Was I wrong? What's your take on this type of action in the gym? And what if the roles were reversed? Thoughts?

JustAboutDelicious_wechanged

Hmmmmm, I'm like you. When I hit the gym I tend to make a point not to make eye contact, ear buds stay completely in place and I'm there to work...that's it. I don't think it's a bad thing though. If someone feels that comfortable to come up to you and give you mad props while working out then kudos to you (and her for having the balls to do it).

Compliments are nice and if it made you feel special then even better, in my opinion. :happy:

Stump_Likker

I say if you're interested go for it. I personally am not interested on being hit on at the gym.
Compliments are always welcome though.

RedHotHunter

I go to the gym to work out.

That said, why not be open to meeting someone that's bold enough to say hello? You can assume 2 things. 1# you both have some interest in your health and/or improving oneself. #2 if someone wants to date you after seeing you all sweaty and huffing and puffing, there is nowhere to go but up from there.

My 2 cents

ldrosophila

Looks like you were wrong...so did you set up the workout session?

anemoneprose

also prefer to be left alone at the gym & would be uncomfortable if someone wanted to hook into my time, *even* if i found them attractive. bc say you go on a date, and things don't gel. now one of you has to find a new workout time or a new gym*. and it is easier to find a new date than it is to find a gym that fits in your life. priorities.

*or else, unless everyone's a grownup (unlikely, just going on averages), have drama in a place that you use to feel good.

FitForeverAgain

I go to the gym to work out.

That said, why not be open to meeting someone that's bold enough to say hello? You can assume 2 things. 1# you both have some interest in your health and/or improving oneself. #2 if someone wants to date you after seeing you all sweaty and huffing and puffing, there is nowhere to go but up from there.

My 2 cents

I'm the oddity...I find a girl whose fit, that's wearing the right clothes (can you say boy shorts and sports bra), and sweaty may be the absolute hottest I'll ever see her. I don't know if it's the testosterone rush from the workout or what - but nothing sexier. Put her hair in a pony in a hat, and I'm ruined for life...

astartig

I think there is a culture of people that go to the gym to find dates.

JustAboutDelicious_wechanged

I go to the gym to work out.

That said, why not be open to meeting someone that's bold enough to say hello? You can assume 2 things. 1# you both have some interest in your health and/or improving oneself. #2 if someone wants to date you after seeing you all sweaty and huffing and puffing, there is nowhere to go but up from there.

My 2 cents

I'm the oddity...I find a girl whose fit, that's wearing the right clothes (can you say boy shorts and sports bra), and sweaty may be the absolute hottest I'll ever see her. I don't know if it's the testosterone rush from the workout or what - but nothing sexier. Put her hair in a pony in a hat, and I'm ruined for life...

I have found most men LOVE this!

justicer68

I go to the gym to work out.

That said, why not be open to meeting someone that's bold enough to say hello? You can assume 2 things. 1# you both have some interest in your health and/or improving oneself. #2 if someone wants to date you after seeing you all sweaty and huffing and puffing, there is nowhere to go but up from there.

My 2 cents

I'm the oddity...I find a girl whose fit, that's wearing the right clothes (can you say boy shorts and sports bra), and sweaty may be the absolute hottest I'll ever see her. I don't know if it's the testosterone rush from the workout or what - but nothing sexier. Put her hair in a pony in a hat, and I'm ruined for life...

I have found most men LOVE this!

I have found this to be true as well.

madrose0715

I wouldn't use the term 'aggressive' to describe her but rather a confident woman. Aggressive associates a degree of negativity with her action and I don't think a gal being politely friendly is a negative thing.

anemoneprose

I wouldn't use the term 'aggressive' to describe her but rather a confident woman. Aggressive associates a degree of negativity with her action and I don't think a gal being politely friendly is a negative thing.

i had the same hesitation around use of the word for her actual behaviour, but, in the context of a gym, it might be seen as an aggressive incursion on space. of course, there's no aggression if it's welcome

FitForeverAgain

I wouldn't use the term 'aggressive' to describe her but rather a confident woman. Aggressive associates a degree of negativity with her action and I don't think a gal being politely friendly is a negative thing.

i had the same hesitation around use of the word for her actual behaviour, but, in the context of a gym, it might be seen as an aggressive incursion on space. of course, there's no aggression if it's welcome

Exactly why I chose those words. If the roles were reversed, I do not think there would be anyone saying "aggressive" was an unwise word choice.

michael1976_ca

i say go for it you never know you may have found your sole mate. no harm in seeing if you two mesh well together

43932452

I would blame it all on endorphins .. they hit women hard. Enjoy the attention although
aggressive .. you never know.

taunto

There are men who know what they want. There are women who know what they want.

Like you said, she wasn't creepy or anything so I don't see any harm in her attempting to get something she liked. If you didn't appreciated it (which doesn't sound like the case) then shoulda just told her that.

All in all, in regards to either sex, if you are confident and wanna make a move, go, have a brief talk and take a hint if the other person wants you there or leave. Typically, as a rule of thumb, don't approach people while they're in the middle of a set.

taunto

I wouldn't use the term 'aggressive' to describe her but rather a confident woman. Aggressive associates a degree of negativity with her action and I don't think a gal being politely friendly is a negative thing.

i had the same hesitation around use of the word for her actual behaviour, but, in the context of a gym, it might be seen as an aggressive incursion on space. of course, there's no aggression if it's welcome

Exactly why I chose those words. If the roles were reversed, I do not think there would be anyone saying "aggressive" was an unwise word choice.

If the roles were reversed, the other guy would be called creeper. Unless he was described as extremely good looking. In which case, she was charming.

Marie91112

to address your question if the roles were reversed, I see no problem in a male acting the same way. I don't see her actions as inappropriate and I would not see them as such if a male has exhibited the same behavior. How is anyone going to get to know someone if one of them doesn't make a move. As to dating at the gym...so long as the relationship isn't solely based on working out and being competitive against each other.

FitForeverAgain

to address your question if the roles were reversed, I see no problem in a male acting the same way. I don't see her actions as inappropriate and I would not see them as such if a male has exhibited the same behavior. How is anyone going to get to know someone if one of them doesn't make a move. As to dating at the gym...so long as the relationship isn't solely based on working out and being competitive against each other.

I tend to disagree the more I think about it. The gym is personal. There's an unspoken rule of not invading space at the gym. If on the way out, or you see someone outside the gym in a social setting, certainly feel free to go there. But at the gym, I'm just not a fan. It's the old "look but don't touch" theory. Plenty of time to fill social calendars later...

RedHotHunter

I go to the gym to work out.

That said, why not be open to meeting someone that's bold enough to say hello? You can assume 2 things. 1# you both have some interest in your health and/or improving oneself. #2 if someone wants to date you after seeing you all sweaty and huffing and puffing, there is nowhere to go but up from there.

My 2 cents

I'm the oddity...I find a girl whose fit, that's wearing the right clothes (can you say boy shorts and sports bra), and sweaty may be the absolute hottest I'll ever see her. I don't know if it's the testosterone rush from the workout or what - but nothing sexier. Put her hair in a pony in a hat, and I'm ruined for life...

A very good point! Maybe some day I'll get hit on after Body Pump when I'm lying on the floor in a heap. lol In all seriousness though, I do get your point. I'd take a guy fresh outta the gym any day. We can always shower later.

LMT2012

I wouldn't use the term 'aggressive' to describe her but rather a confident woman. Aggressive associates a degree of negativity with her action and I don't think a gal being politely friendly is a negative thing.

i had the same hesitation around use of the word for her actual behaviour, but, in the context of a gym, it might be seen as an aggressive incursion on space. of course, there's no aggression if it's welcome

Exactly why I chose those words. If the roles were reversed, I do not think there would be anyone saying "aggressive" was an unwise word choice.

Disagree. It IS aggressive (and VERY presumptuous) to approach someone during a workout and announce you've been watching them and ask them out. Male or female, both an agressive move.
I am, however, a big fan of people meeting organically throughout their lives, and aggressive is not a bad thing! I'd like to think I'd have found a slightly less invasive way to do it. Maybe walk up to you at a water break and say "Working hard I see. Can I buy you a smoothie some time?"