Gym stalkers?

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  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,644 Member
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  • SonyaCele
    SonyaCele Posts: 2,841 Member
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    buffalogal42 wrote: »
    See, this is why I asked here. In my "real life" I have several people saying "creepy - call the cops/mgmt" and others saying "just be nice." I am in no way leaning toward cops/mgmt. Lol - I really do think she is just a lonely lady (for whatever reason!) who latched on to my initial kindness.

    Telling this situation to impartial Internet folks has helped me realize that I can handle it how I have been lately (chat when I can and exit quickly when I can't) and probably be just fine ...

    Unless she shows up one day and boils my bunny! ;-)

    i'm glad you are figuring it out and taking the nicer route and not calling the cops on a lonely old lady lol. This makes you a good person.

  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    Seems like you are her inspiration. As long as she is not eating up all ur gym time be polite with the small talk and move on. You are her shero. Awwww
  • Ironlioness40
    Ironlioness40 Posts: 7 Member
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    This was a comical gym experience. Thank you for sharing . And I too am glad you found a gentle way of handling this situation after all the lady is a elder with some obvious things going on and it sounds like you were her sound board or just a listening ear. Again thanks for sharing :)
  • buffalogal42
    buffalogal42 Posts: 374 Member
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    Sooo ... what if, in the process of trying to be a nice, good person ... you find out that your "gym stalker" has beliefs completely the opposite of you?? I had lots of time yesterday so I made it a point to chat with her ... she almost immediately launched into a rant about how she had disowned her granddaughter for coming out as gay and moving to CA with her girlfriend. I knew she was super religious (I am not but try to be "no judgement" on that subject). But the vitriol I heard made me uncomfortable as my beliefs are very different. I tried to steer the conversation elsewhere but own off by the whole thing ... eventually I said "Gotta go, have a good day!"

    (I mean, she has seen me in my "Equality" workout shirt!)
  • SonyaCele
    SonyaCele Posts: 2,841 Member
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    lol, well now we know why she's lonely! i probably woulda said something like that is *kitten* to disown your granddaughter for that and i'm glad you aren't my grandmother. Just because you are friendly doesn't mean you have to be friends.
  • MelanieCN77
    MelanieCN77 Posts: 4,047 Member
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    There's nothing to be gained by engaging and I would actually find that kind of talk a pollution and unwelcome. Shorter pleasantries from now on, methinks.
  • Okiludy
    Okiludy Posts: 558 Member
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    I likely would have dropped the nice guy look and told her my my opinion. I would not have been excessively rude I just think sometimes people need to stand up for their beliefs. Then again I can be an opinionated *kitten*.

    Honestly why would anyone bring up family business to a stranger anyway. That's like touching the third rail like politics, religion, or pie vs' cake.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 17,959 Member
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    Okiludy wrote: »
    I likely would have dropped the nice guy look and told her my my opinion. I would not have been excessively rude I just think sometimes people need to stand up for their beliefs. Then again I can be an opinionated *kitten*.

    Honestly why would anyone bring up family business to a stranger anyway. That's like touching the third rail like politics, religion, or pie vs' cake.

    Agreed. I figure people bring it up so that you will either agree with them or speak out against it and give them an opportunity to grandstand their views.
  • RhiAndy11
    RhiAndy11 Posts: 72 Member
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    i am all for being nice and friendly to someone who likes to chat when you bump into them by chance....however, she admitted to changing her schedule to workout when you do-i do think that borders on creepy but she is getting cut slack because she is an older lady...had this been an older man i dont think many would think that was ok.
    your approach with being polite and making a quick exit was right i think.
    Now that she has shown her true colours with totally different beliefs i would definitely not be quite so polite anymore!
  • Bry_Fitness70
    Bry_Fitness70 Posts: 2,480 Member
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    You come across as a very nice person, and now you are paying a price for your kindness. It sounds like she is absorbing a tremendous amount of your attention and making an otherwise positive part of your life, the gym, a stressful environment. You really have no choice at this point than to be very short with her - not rude, just short. Say hi, smile, maybe say a sentence or two, and then excuse yourself. Do this consistently and never allow yourself to get roped into a lengthy conversation again, and she will have no choice but to move on...
  • pondee629
    pondee629 Posts: 2,469 Member
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    buffalogal42 wrote: »
    Sooo ... what if, in the process of trying to be a nice, good person ... you find out that your "gym stalker" has beliefs completely the opposite of you?? I had lots of time yesterday so I made it a point to chat with her ... she almost immediately launched into a rant about how she had disowned her granddaughter for coming out as gay and moving to CA with her girlfriend. I knew she was super religious (I am not but try to be "no judgement" on that subject). But the vitriol I heard made me uncomfortable as my beliefs are very different. I tried to steer the conversation elsewhere but own off by the whole thing ... eventually I said "Gotta go, have a good day!"

    (I mean, she has seen me in my "Equality" workout shirt!)

    And we find the down side of being a good person. Looks like "Gotta go, have a good day!" is your go to line from now on.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,535 Member
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    As a trainer, I get people all the time who want to talk to me just to talk. And many times politely I just have to say "I have to cut you short because I have a client to attend to" or "I have to cut you short because I'm limited on my time for exercise". Then add, "Maybe when there's more time, I could chat with you, but my gym time is actually limited."
    Many times they get the hint from it. If they continue, then you keep using the same line.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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  • buffalogal42
    buffalogal42 Posts: 374 Member
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    Argh. Thanks for the advice, everyone. I am so awkward with difficult public situations and this has thrown me off. But I am going to minimize contact - headphones on, moving with a purpose and being direct about my time limitations and views if I have to. And I am totally buying more rainbow workout gear!
  • canadianlbs
    canadianlbs Posts: 5,199 Member
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    buffalogal42 wrote: »
    Argh. Thanks for the advice, everyone.

    yeah; ugh. you owe her nothing and like i said, some people are 'lonely' #because reasons.

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