Floating in like a leaf on the wind

magicaldryope

If I am being completely honest I probably won't check on the forums very often, but since I like to look at success pictures when I'm feeling snacky I figure I should at least say hello to the people motivating me to not touch the chocolate.

I'm a 33yo SAHM from Georgia Sweet Georgia to 3 children - ages 6yo, 4yo, and 6 months. Most of my hobbies are sedentary, which has sadly led to packing on the pounds over the past decade. I've tried on and off to lose weight, but in the past I had a bit of a mental block and genuinely believed I was incapable of succeeding at anything. So I ended up dropping out of school and quit putting effort into any of my hobbies. I realize this sounds really pitiful, but last year I finally realized that I could actually succeed at things. I lost 12lbs before I got pregnant and then I gained 41lbs. At least I've lost all the pregnancy weight already so I'm feeling pretty good about that! Reasons for losing are a combination of heart disease running in my family (and I had preeclampsia with the first pregnancy which makes it feel a bit more urgent), the fact that even at 175lbs I feel like I'm drowning in fat whenever I lay down, and honestly vanity. I wanna be healthy and cute, is that too much to ask?

I'm 5'4" and currently at 175lbs and working my way down towards my goal weight of 130lbs. I don't log religiously because I tend to get obsessive. To illustrate what I mean by that: when I was using a fitbit I ended up avoiding any housework that involved kneeling and only did housework where I could walk (or walk in place). I ate walking around the house. If I couldn't do it while walking then I didn't do it, which meant I spent months not participating in any of my hobbies and telling friends I couldn't get together. Then my fitbit broke, and it was so freeing to have time to live again. So to spare my fragile mental health I'm only logging when I need to adjust to a new calorie maximum, just to sort of calibrate and figure out what my food schedule can look like.

I have a huuuuuuge sweet tooth and realized when I started paying more attention to what I ate that I tend to eat a lot when I'm stressed. Food isn't the only coping method I have, but its the easiest. Really the one that works the *best* is drawing - I feel so much more calm when I'm able to draw early in the day. But because of children this doesn't always happen, and its easier to grab food while wrangling children than to grab a sketchbook. So that's the biggest struggle for me regarding weight loss. If I eat within my calorie limit I'm full, but....chocolate....its just so delicious. I'm coping with this by trying to not have any sweets in the house. My (skinny) husband keeps undermining me and buying cookies. He needs to keep them in his office so I can't see them.

Right now my exercise isn't too exciting. I walk the 4yo to/from school during the school year, but summer break has been too rainy to go out. So I've been restricted to turning on dance music and dancing while holding the 6month old. He's 17lbs, that has to count for something, right? I just love dancing, and so I might look into jazzercise or some other dance class when the littlest is old enough for preschool.

I love autumn, Tolkien, indie pop music, swooshy peasant skirts, solar power, and secluded gardens with towering plants. My hobbies are illustration, playing LOTRO, reading, writing, writing to penpals, and DIY fashion -I can't sew, which I need to rectify, but mod podge shoes and beading and that sort of thing? SO fun. I dislike crowds, apples, spiders, and driving. Sadly, I live in a metro area and have children activities to go to, so I can't opt out. We can't only do things we love, alas.

Anyway, thank you to everyone who posts fabulous Before/After pictures because seeing other people succeed is very motivating for me. I hope we all meet our goals and become healthier people annnnd I'm sorry I wrote such a long intro post, I don't know what brevity is apparently. I look forward to meeting people!

JeromeBarry1

You write well.