Horrible relationship with food. EDNOS help:( ?

weightlossmfp1

I have struggled with EDNOS since I was about 11. Im 18 now. Almost 19. I have my good times where I feel better and I am healthier but then I crash again.
Any event or occasion that has food involved makes me feel extremely weird, uncomfortable, and disgusting. Like people are talking about me or laughing at me or something.
I have been teased by my peers for my chunky-Ness since middle school.
Once I got to highschool and hut puberty u became curvy.
When I was younger some of the nicknames my family gave me were "Gorda" (fat girl) and when I was younger "Gordita" (little fat girl). I am done with the names, the bad and intrusive thoughts. I'm done. I want to be better. Please help.

vespiquenn

Therapy. No one here has the tools to help an unhealthy relationship with food like a professional would.

usmcmp

https://myfitnesspal.desk.com/customer/portal/articles/1575987-eating-disorder-resources

You need professional help.