I'm frustrated, tired, and hangry. [rant]

Geocitiesuser

kimny72 wrote: »

Geocitiesuser wrote: »

And for the record this has veered entirely off course from the original premise of the fact that I'm just hungry af. lol. Everything else is just background noise.

Sorry I do still want to lose another 5-10, so i know what you mean about feeling like you have already done everything you can do and why won't the number on the scale just get there already. Hope things get back to moving in the right direction for ya, one way or the other

I'm finding that most people struggle with the last 10 or so, so it's a little comforting to know it's not just me. It just doesn't get brought up a lot because we seem to be the few and the proud who make it this far. Our battles with the last 10lbs are definitely something to be proud of, even if they are difficult.

kyubeans

Have you tried looking at the Maintenance boards? They have a thread dedicated to losing the last 10 lbs...

everher

Sigh.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I feel often times people take OP the wrong way.

He wants an attractive mate (for lack of better term) and wishes to be as attractive as possible in order to attract said mate.

I don't think there's anything so abnormal about that. I do think you can be a tad negative about it at times, OP, but from what I've read from you on the forums since losing the weight you've had a good bit of rejection when it comes to dating and yeah, I think that would make us all a bit bitter.

My advice (unsolicited and perhaps unwanted) would be to try to meet a woman in person instead of online. Online dating is a shark tank. I don't even think I'm top tier looks wise when it comes to women, but I would often get 100+ responses in a day when I used online dating and it was a lot of me just quickly glancing and deleting messages.

Geocitiesuser

Thank you for the kind words and empathy @everher! Some people "get it" like you do but most don't.

And it's not like I'm pacing back and forth in my livingroom every day hoping someone will fall from the sky. I work every day towards being the best "me" I can become, and that goes far beyond dating, it's self love and self respect.

It just so happens that it's a bit of a pain point in my life, and yeah, I'm a little bitter and a little frustrated that things turned out the way they have, so when I'm dieing of hunger, killing myself in the gym, and start to feel a bit run down, yeah, the rejection hurts from time to time. It's to easy to be judged by a forum thread, a moment of frustration, and not the 99.999% of the rest of the time.

jgnatca

https://www.hgdata.com/blog/data-mining-dates-okcupid/

How a math nerd hacked a dating site and became the most popular date. "...By comparison, a straight male on OkCupid, the median number of unsolicited messages is zero.)"

Congratulations. You match the median! You are normal.

try2again

Really hesitate to offer a comment here since, being familiar with many of your posts, I just see a pattern of thought and an approach to life and weight loss that seems problematic & unlikely to change. And I realize you only want replies that commiserate with your misery. But I'm just going to offer this for the benefit of lurkers.

My hubby has been pursuing his own weight loss goals for the last couple of years. He is 5'10" & started off at 195 and quickly got down to 160, but is currently about 170. He is extremely fit & active and a lifter, but struggles to keep that last 10 lbs off. Like you, he will adhere to his deficit for several days and then end up eating over maintenance for a couple out of hunger. The other day we were discussing his goal and the fact that, it's not just about being able to get to the goal weight, but being happy with the lifestyle maintaining that goal will require, including lower maintenance calories. He is currently reevaluating his goal with that in mind. It may be something to consider. If the pursuit of a lower goal causes a person that much distress, leads to binges, and then fasts or excessive exercise to compensate, that goal may not be for you (or may not be for you *right now*... maybe later). Of course, this only applies to a person whose goal is health & happiness, not a perfect body and external validation.

I would also be interested to know if you are pursuing the .5 lb/week weight loss goal that is recommended for those with less than 25 lbs to lose, and provides a gentle 250 calorie deficit, or if you're still trying to blast through the last 10 lbs & get it over with? You've mentioned you've raised your calories recently, but you've never actually specified the deficit you're pursuing. Again for lurkers, .5 lb/week may seem too tedious & slow, but if a greater deficit hurts your adherence, it's not doing you any favors.

Geocitiesuser wrote: »

I worked on "other areas of my life" my entire life, and I've benefited greatly from it in various ways. That time is over. Now we focus on the physical.

Respectfully, none of us should reach the point where we say we've done enough to better ourselves... in any area. Hope you find some peace

fiddletime

So much about finding the right person seems like pure luck to me. I'd given up looking, and two years into a graduate degree a classmate and I fell in love and got married. No planning, no hitting the gym, just lots of time together in and outside of class, to really get to know each other. Who has that time outside of school?

As for being hungry- I make sure to have a Klondike bar a couple of nights a week when I've been in a deficit for a few days and am getting that unhappy, this really isn't fun, feeling. Slows down the last ten pounds, but that's ok. I'm happier.