The not-so-secret secret to a happy marriage

2stepscloser
2stepscloser Posts: 2,900 Member
Ladies, if you want to improve your marriage, take care of your spouses so they will not go elsewhere. Regular sex will get you just about anything your heart desires :heart:

Men (especially those with small kids) HANG IN THERE... It will get better!! :drinker: Believe it or not, most women with small children honestly do not think about sex all the time. Do not allow your wife to beg for sex...in addition to losing you're man card, she'll go elsewhere for it.

Communicate with one another, speak up about your likes/dislikes and it will be all good. :wink:

Anything else you care to add?
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Replies

  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
    Gee. I thought communication and understanding were key. Silly me.
  • debbash68
    debbash68 Posts: 981 Member
    Awww and I have to say you look great Meredith!
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    Gee. I thought communication and understanding were key. Silly me.

    We'll have none of that free-thinking, new age, women-are-equal-to-men nonsense, here! Out!
  • Nikki31104
    Nikki31104 Posts: 816 Member
    Regular sex never hurts. After 9 years together we still have sex multiple times a week. I feel that it strengthens our relationship.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Ladies, if you want to improve your marriage, take care of your spouses so they will not go elsewhere. Regular sex will get you just about anything your heart desires :heart:

    Men (especially those with small kids) HANG IN THERE... It will get better!! :drinker: Believe it or not, most women with small children honestly do not think about sex all the time. Do not allow your wife to beg for sex...in addition to losing you're man card, she'll go elsewhere for it.

    Communicate with one another, speak up about your likes/dislikes and it will be all good. :wink:

    Anything else you care to add?

    I'd advise never put relationship issues on the internet and overall, don't get other people "involved" in your relationship unless it is a marriage counselor. The only exceptions would be circumstances like abuse, of course.
  • debbash68
    debbash68 Posts: 981 Member
    Regular sex never hurts. After 9 years together we still have sex multiple times a week. I feel that it strengthens our relationship.
    It can do sometimes......
  • 2stepscloser
    2stepscloser Posts: 2,900 Member
    Ladies, if you want to improve your marriage, take care of your spouses so they will not go elsewhere. Regular sex will get you just about anything your heart desires :heart:

    Men (especially those with small kids) HANG IN THERE... It will get better!! :drinker: Believe it or not, most women with small children honestly do not think about sex all the time. Do not allow your wife to beg for sex...in addition to losing you're man card, she'll go elsewhere for it.

    Communicate with one another, speak up about your likes/dislikes and it will be all good. :wink:

    Anything else you care to add?

    I'd advise never put relationship issues on the internet and overall, don't get other people "involved" in your relationship unless it is a marriage counselor. The only exceptions would be circumstances like abuse, of course.


    I'm not having any relationship issues.... Just my opinions :)
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Ladies, if you want to improve your marriage, take care of your spouses so they will not go elsewhere. Regular sex will get you just about anything your heart desires :heart:

    Men (especially those with small kids) HANG IN THERE... It will get better!! :drinker: Believe it or not, most women with small children honestly do not think about sex all the time. Do not allow your wife to beg for sex...in addition to losing you're man card, she'll go elsewhere for it.

    Communicate with one another, speak up about your likes/dislikes and it will be all good. :wink:

    Anything else you care to add?

    I'd advise never put relationship issues on the internet and overall, don't get other people "involved" in your relationship unless it is a marriage counselor. The only exceptions would be circumstances like abuse, of course.


    I'm not having any relationship issues.... Just my opinions :)

    You asked if there was anything else to add. I was adding.
  • debbash68
    debbash68 Posts: 981 Member
    Regular sex never hurts. After 9 years together we still have sex multiple times a week. I feel that it strengthens our relationship.
    It can do sometimes......
    And I meant in a good way! :wink:
  • Morninglory81
    Morninglory81 Posts: 1,190 Member
    If you feel like something is wrong or are unhappy talk first to your spouse! It is up to the two of you to work things out. If you can't openly talk about what is wrong you are at the mercy of chance to fix your problems. No topic should be off limits between the two of you.
  • ladyark
    ladyark Posts: 1,101 Member
    I think that it is important to fight fair.....no name calling or things you cannot take back....

    Dont sweat the small stuff that causes fights....most of it wont even matter a year from now or less....

    And just because you do have a fight...DO NOT with hold sex. Why punish yourself .....sometimes that makes for the best sex.
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    What works for one couple may not work for the other. Patience, understanding, and cutting the other person some slack is a good place to start. No one is perfect, but if we both make an effort to treat each other the way we want to be treated then that helps some. Also don't compare your marriage to anyone else's.
  • I agree. When my daughter was young sex was not all that important to me. Combined with working full time & raising a family you tend to not make time for one another.
    Now that I'm 40+ & my daughter is a teenager. sex is more important than it ever was.
  • kindasortachewy
    kindasortachewy Posts: 1,084 Member
    Unless you have a hubby who does not think about sex every 7 seconds. I have the higher sex drive in my marriage, but a long shot. Bribing him with sex would get me nowhere.
  • zumbajheri
    zumbajheri Posts: 200 Member
    Ladies, if you want to improve your marriage, take care of your spouses so they will not go elsewhere. Regular sex will get you just about anything your heart desires :heart:

    Men (especially those with small kids) HANG IN THERE... It will get better!! :drinker: Believe it or not, most women with small children honestly do not think about sex all the time. Do not allow your wife to beg for sex...in addition to losing you're man card, she'll go elsewhere for it.

    Communicate with one another, speak up about your likes/dislikes and it will be all good. :wink:

    Anything else you care to add?

    I'd advise never put relationship issues on the internet and overall, don't get other people "involved" in your relationship unless it is a marriage counselor. The only exceptions would be circumstances like abuse, of course.


    I'm not having any relationship issues.... Just my opinions :)

    You asked if there was anything else to add. I was adding.

    Yeah, I took this as those ppl who advertise their ish or air their dirty laundry on fb, etc. I think there should be a level of privacy out of respect for your partner. I don't want everyone knowing every detail lol it's none of their business!
  • PaleoPath4Lyfe
    PaleoPath4Lyfe Posts: 3,161 Member
    Unless you have a hubby who does not think about sex every 7 seconds. I have the higher sex drive in my marriage, but a long shot. Bribing him with sex would get me nowhere.

    Same here.............my husband can take it or leave it, LOL
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    Do not allow your wife to beg for sex...in addition to losing you're man card, she'll go elsewhere for it.

    ...I am so confused with this statement. What's wrong with a woman asking for sex? Why will she go elsewhere? What does a man card have to do with your wife asking for sex?
  • Nikki31104
    Nikki31104 Posts: 816 Member
    Do not allow your wife to beg for sex...in addition to losing you're man card, she'll go elsewhere for it.

    ...I am so confused with this statement. What's wrong with a woman asking for sex? Why will she go elsewhere? What does a man card have to do with your wife asking for sex?

    I think she actually means BEG for it. It is one thing to initiate it but something completely different to have to actually beg for it...unless of course you are into that kind of thing. I have known women who strutted around nude and their husbands did look twice.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,982 Member
    Lol, practically every married man I've talked to usually agree....................................conformity works. An unhappy wife is an unhappy life..................for everyone.
    Hold your ground on stout beliefs, but go along with everything else.:wink:

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • vaporhockey83
    vaporhockey83 Posts: 84 Member
    Definitely not a one-size-fits-all type of situation. Obviously being physical is natural in a relationship. I just let my wife know that I'm in the mood and whether she wants to or not doesn't bother me. Having a three year-old, I understand when my wife is tired, worn from a whole day of keeping a kiddo entertained while I'm at work, or just simply not in the mood. We communicate these things and if we're not engaging a lot during spurts, I don't let it bother me. I said, "I do", and meant it. I love her and love triumphs urges I can suppress or take care of on my own if needed. I'd never stray even if it were that bad. When it reaches unbarable levels, I'll let her know. Same goes on the flip side. I'm happy overall just trying to make her happy in every capacity.
  • jhmomofmany
    jhmomofmany Posts: 571 Member
    toughing out the bad times will make the good times that much better.

    (happily married 18 years despite many hardships!)
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    I give my husband chocolate. Chocolate = happy.
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
    Gee. I thought communication and understanding were key. Silly me.
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
    What works for one couple may not work for the other. Patience, understanding, and cutting the other person some slack is a good place to start. No one is perfect, but if we both make an effort to treat each other the way we want to be treated then that helps some. Also don't compare your marriage to anyone else's.
  • melindasuefritz
    melindasuefritz Posts: 3,509 Member
    If you feel like something is wrong or are unhappy talk first to your spouse! It is up to the two of you to work things out. If you can't openly talk about what is wrong you are at the mercy of chance to fix your problems. No topic should be off limits between the two of you.
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
    Ladies, if you want to improve your marriage, take care of your spouses so they will not go elsewhere. Regular sex will get you just about anything your heart desires :heart:

    Men (especially those with small kids) HANG IN THERE... It will get better!! :drinker: Believe it or not, most women with small children honestly do not think about sex all the time. Do not allow your wife to beg for sex...in addition to losing you're man card, she'll go elsewhere for it.

    Communicate with one another, speak up about your likes/dislikes and it will be all good. :wink:

    Anything else you care to add?



    I have to wonder why you needed to point this out. Having some problems yourself?
    Sex is one important part of marriage, but for long lasting marriages you will also need to be able to communicate, have the same goals and dreams. Very important also is how you manage money as a couple. Do you agree on child rearing? Are you still friends and enjoy doing things together? Long lasting marriages take so many equally important components, just ask a few couples that are still happily married after 20/30/40/50 plus years.
  • ltowns11
    ltowns11 Posts: 134 Member
    Definitely not a one-size-fits-all type of situation. Obviously being physical is natural in a relationship. I just let my wife know that I'm in the mood and whether she wants to or not doesn't bother me. Having a three year-old, I understand when my wife is tired, worn from a whole day of keeping a kiddo entertained while I'm at work, or just simply not in the mood. We communicate these things and if we're not engaging a lot during spurts, I don't let it bother me. I said, "I do", and meant it. I love her and love triumphs urges I can suppress or take care of on my own if needed. I'd never stray even if it were that bad. When it reaches unbarable levels, I'll let her know. Same goes on the flip side. I'm happy overall just trying to make her happy in every capacity.

    What a good guy!!!!
  • rosemaryhon
    rosemaryhon Posts: 507 Member
    Definitely not a one-size-fits-all type of situation. Obviously being physical is natural in a relationship. I just let my wife know that I'm in the mood and whether she wants to or not doesn't bother me. Having a three year-old, I understand when my wife is tired, worn from a whole day of keeping a kiddo entertained while I'm at work, or just simply not in the mood. We communicate these things and if we're not engaging a lot during spurts, I don't let it bother me. I said, "I do", and meant it. I love her and love triumphs urges I can suppress or take care of on my own if needed. I'd never stray even if it were that bad. When it reaches unbarable levels, I'll let her know. Same goes on the flip side. I'm happy overall just trying to make her happy in every capacity.


    So nicely well said ~ and more rings true in my experience as a long-time happily married woman than the OP's suggestion which seemed so focused on sex to keep the other from straying SMH. You obviously have a key to a strong, good marriage IMO :).
  • chell53
    chell53 Posts: 352 Member
    The key thing is to work at it.....marriage is a job and I don't mean that in a bad way, you meet someone fall in love and then married living under the same roof and really how much do you know about the person.....not much.....so it is a learning experience you need to get to know one another, (a job). It is not just sex, it is the whole package.....talking, trusting, laughing, and yes crying as a team.

    Oh! and I can say this cause Happily Married for 39 years, (40 in March)
  • rosemaryhon
    rosemaryhon Posts: 507 Member
    Ladies, if you want to improve your marriage, take care of your spouses so they will not go elsewhere. Regular sex will get you just about anything your heart desires :heart:

    Men (especially those with small kids) HANG IN THERE... It will get better!! :drinker: Believe it or not, most women with small children honestly do not think about sex all the time. Do not allow your wife to beg for sex...in addition to losing you're man card, she'll go elsewhere for it.

    Communicate with one another, speak up about your likes/dislikes and it will be all good. :wink:

    Anything else you care to add?



    I have to wonder why you needed to point this out. Having some problems yourself?
    Sex is one important part of marriage, but for long lasting marriages you will also need to be able to communicate, have the same goals and dreams. Very important also is how you manage money as a couple. Do you agree on child rearing? Are you still friends and enjoy doing things together? Long lasting marriages take so many equally important components, just ask a few couples that are still happily married after 20/30/40/50 plus years.

    Another well said point IMO.