When hard times hit they really hit,huh?
awall1984
Posts: 42
I a big emotional eater and its hard enough being a stay at home mother with 3 young boys but today my sister got her biopsy results back and they came back positive for breast cancer, not only am I hit with that but I also must make a choice to help my husband. My husband thinks he is being "gang-stalked" I guess its a term that scitzo's often use to describe what they say is happening to them, a lot of crazy sh___ is going on in his head and upon talking to many therapist's last night they all recommend I have him commited so they can do a 72 hour hold on him...
ughhhh...That nutella in my cabinet is really calling my name along with the bag of mini hersheys in my fridge
ughhhh...That nutella in my cabinet is really calling my name along with the bag of mini hersheys in my fridge
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Replies
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So sorry! Sounds like you may need some counseling to deal with all this stuff, too. Don't forget to take care of yourself through all of this. Best of luck to you!!0
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Do you have anyone to talk too? That's an awful lot to deal with. Hang in there. I'm an emotional eater too and it's hard when life slams you.0
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I am so sorry for the struggles you're facing. You know... it's okay, sometimes, to not make weight loss your first priority. Maybe you should set your goal to maintain your weight during this time. Give yourself some more leeway and deal with the important stuff - there is nothing more important in this life than those you love. Nothing.0
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Drink a big class of water, take a deep breath, and get yourself a good nights rest. STEP AWAY FROM THE JUNK FOOD! Sabotaging your weight loss will not fix your problems, but seeking help will. I am sorry to hear about all the stress in your life, but find a different way to deal with it.0
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I'm so sorry your family is going through these tough times. I also hope your husband and sister get the best medical care available. Stay strong. We're all in your corner.0
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I a big emotional eater and its hard enough being a stay at home mother with 3 young boys but today my sister got her biopsy results back and they came back positive for breast cancer, not only am I hit with that but I also must make a choice to help my husband. My husband thinks he is being "gang-stalked" I guess its a term that scitzo's often use to describe what they say is happening to them, a lot of crazy sh___ is going on in his head and upon talking to many therapist's last night they all recommend I have him commited so they can do a 72 hour hold on him...
ughhhh...That nutella in my cabinet is really calling my name along with the bag of mini hersheys in my fridge
I'm not familiar with the term "gang-stalked." However, if your husband believes everybody around him is setting him up for failure, out to kill him, or along those lines, and he's preparing for this possibility, he might have the early stages of schizophrenia. For example, he often peeks out the windows, and thinks every car is suspect. He checks the locks on the doors, and if he finds a door unlocked, he accuses you of working with his enemies. In addition, he might hear voices, and constantly accusing you of saying things or conspiring against him. If you're lucky, he's just a conspiracy theorist with an active imagination; but if he has family members with this issue, then there's a possibility he might have some kind of mental disease.0 -
Thank you all for taking the time to reply, I am gonna stay strong, drink my tea and imagine yellow caution tape in front of all the sweets. My weight loss is super important to me
I just cant believe what a day its been! Im in the process now of researching whats going on with my husband...its been going on for almost 2 years and is just getting worse. As of now I believe he has persecutory delusional disorder. At this point when he is home all I hear about day and night is how many personalized license plates he saw drive by him that were made "just for him to see" and how many cars were following him that day, its exhausting! He started chasing random ppl in his vehicle cuz he thought they were following him and the worse thing about it....my 8 yr old son has been in the vehicle with him when he has done this.
I know this post is insane as a first time poster on this forum but I honestly just need a lil support right now, not just with my weight issues but with my personal life too....
there is so much more going on with him, it hurts to see the man I love go down hill like this. My family tells me to leave him but its hard. 10 yrs...3 kids, and Im supposed to leave him at the time he needs me the most? ughhh sorry. this is getting long lol0 -
Im pulling for you. I know about emotional eating (and stress starving for that matter). As a mommy to four young children who has turned a corner on nutrition and fitness I can tell you without a doubt that there are few things you can do that will be better for you and your family in the long run. Im talking about a stronger, healthier, more confident and energetic you! Go for it! What is one way you can exercise tomorrow? What is one way you can change your diet for the better this week?0
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I a big emotional eater and its hard enough being a stay at home mother with 3 young boys but today my sister got her biopsy results back and they came back positive for breast cancer, not only am I hit with that but I also must make a choice to help my husband. My husband thinks he is being "gang-stalked" I guess its a term that scitzo's often use to describe what they say is happening to them, a lot of crazy sh___ is going on in his head and upon talking to many therapist's last night they all recommend I have him commited so they can do a 72 hour hold on him...
ughhhh...That nutella in my cabinet is really calling my name along with the bag of mini hersheys in my fridge
I'm not familiar with the term "gang-stalked." However, if your husband believes everybody around him is setting him up for failure, out to kill him, or along those lines, and he's preparing for this possibility, he might have the early stages of schizophrenia. For example, he often peeks out the windows, and thinks every car is suspect. He checks the locks on the doors, and if he finds a door unlocked, he accuses you of working with his enemies. In addition, he might hear voices, and constantly accusing you of saying things or conspiring against him. If you're lucky, he's just a conspiracy theorist with an active imagination; but if he has family members with this issue, then there's a possibility he might have some kind of mental disease.
O how I wish he was a conspiracy theorist...but Im pretty sure its the latter and he has a mental disease. I just feel so bad that all of his dilusions are so REAL to him...I know that when I follow through with the involuntary medical treatment for him he is gonna HATE me for it. but Im scared for him, myself, my kids and anyone else he may lash out on. 0 -
HOPE...
Don't give up hope! I had breast cancer (and a mastectomy) when I was 20 years old. That was 35 years ago! I'm a survivor. Treatments have come a long way. There's hope for your sister!
Hope also for your husband! I developed a mental illness at the age of 30 with psychotic and paranoid symptoms along with depression. With treatment and medication I am a survivor in this regard as well. I work as a Peer Specialist on a mental health Assertive Community Treatment team full time.
And don't beat yourself up for indulging yourself when things get this tough. Be kind to yourself. ♥0 -
@answerinthesky...thank you. I sent you a message0
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That's a lot to deal with. If you know you're prone to (justified!) emotional eating at a time like this, I'd say make sure to surround yourself with things you won't feel guilty about eating. It sounds like you have a therapist to help you through the associated issues with your husband, and your sister's situation is new, so focus on taking care of yourself and your kiddos, and try not to worry as much about the rest- easier said than done, I know.
ETA; And throw out the hersheys!0 -
So sorry to hear all that you are going through right now! I have emotional eating difficulties as well and I can imagine how challenging that would be for me! Usually, I try to just have some tea (with a little honey) and think of a different way to deal with my stress. Writing here looks like a great start. I've been working on a journal recently when I feel the need to stress eat or even pop in a yoga DVD to unwind. Bubble baths also work wonders if you have the time.
As far as your husband is concerned, I believe that you should follow your heart as far as remaining in a relationship. Mental illness is a devastating diagnosis, but (in my family's case) it is often manageable. There are many counselors and support groups in existence for you and your children as well. Don't forget that the stresses you are all facing are real and there is no shame in looking to a professional for help.
You'll be in my prayers tonight!!0 -
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ETA; And throw out the hersheys!
How dare you say such a thing!!! lol
My kids would NOT be happy about that one :P
I unfortunatly dont have a therapist, called a few mental health crisis centers...he refuses to be seen by anyone. You sure are right about focusing on me and the kiddos but man its hard. Sleeping sure dont come easy lately with just the hubby...now I got the sister thing on my mind too. I do not see sleep in my near future 0 -
@ sbrociousstewart I want nothing more than to stay and support my husband and I will do that for as long as I possibly can. Im hoping I am able to find a support group. At this point...tonight you all here on mfp are doing great!
What an introduction on my part,huh? "Hello...my name is angela. My sis has breast cancer and my husband is looney" smh lol
:thank you for taking the time to reply and thank you for the prayers. They are very much appreciated 0 -
hugs, this is a lot all at once.
living with a loved one who has mental illness or a chemical imbalance is very difficult. I don't want to add more guilt or bad feelings but you CANNOT allow your husband to take your children in the car any more. I don't know how to help you get him to a psychiatrist - but you need to do that. Maybe you can go to a therapist and see if they have any pointers0 -
...there is so much more going on with him, it hurts to see the man I love go down hill like this. My family tells me to leave him but its hard. 10 yrs...3 kids, and Im supposed to leave him at the time he needs me the most? ughhh sorry. this is getting long lol
I think that's so sad that your family wants you to write him off and desert him when he's sick. This guy needs treatment and support. I could see leaving him once he gets his disorder under control, but ONLY IF if he refuses to maintain his treatment, because he could be a danger to himself and others. But to dump a guy just as the disease emerges is wrong.
Besides, if it is schizophrenia, it's very possible that one or more of your kids will develop it as well. You wouldn't want your kids' spouses to abandon them, would you? I'm glad to see you're sticking with him in the meantime. You've got to give him a chance to stabilize. If this is the onset of his disease it's new to him, too, and he's not exactly in his right mind. He needs help. After that, it's his choice to keep it under control and allow you to help him keep it under control. I feel bad for what you're going through right now, but I'd like to wish you good luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
...I know that when I follow through with the involuntary medical treatment for him he is gonna HATE me for it. but Im scared for him, myself, my kids and anyone else he may lash out on.
Just do it. He can't take that step himself right now if he's delusional. If he hates you afterwards, you at least know you've given your best shot. There's a good chance he can get this under control and if so, he'll end up thanking you instead. But if he doesn't follow through with treatment then you do what you need to do to protect yourself and your kids. You can't make a person want to be well, but you can help give him the choice.
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I a big emotional eater and its hard enough being a stay at home mother with 3 young boys but today my sister got her biopsy results back and they came back positive for breast cancer, not only am I hit with that but I also must make a choice to help my husband. My husband thinks he is being "gang-stalked" I guess its a term that scitzo's often use to describe what they say is happening to them, a lot of crazy sh___ is going on in his head and upon talking to many therapist's last night they all recommend I have him commited so they can do a 72 hour hold on him...
ughhhh...That nutella in my cabinet is really calling my name along with the bag of mini hersheys in my fridge
I'm not familiar with the term "gang-stalked." However, if your husband believes everybody around him is setting him up for failure, out to kill him, or along those lines, and he's preparing for this possibility, he might have the early stages of schizophrenia. For example, he often peeks out the windows, and thinks every car is suspect. He checks the locks on the doors, and if he finds a door unlocked, he accuses you of working with his enemies. In addition, he might hear voices, and constantly accusing you of saying things or conspiring against him. If you're lucky, he's just a conspiracy theorist with an active imagination; but if he has family members with this issue, then there's a possibility he might have some kind of mental disease.
O how I wish he was a conspiracy theorist...but Im pretty sure its the latter and he has a mental disease. I just feel so bad that all of his dilusions are so REAL to him...I know that when I follow through with the involuntary medical treatment for him he is gonna HATE me for it. but Im scared for him, myself, my kids and anyone else he may lash out on.
He'll thank you for it once he's on meds. I have a friend who is paranoid schizophrenic, and he does get incredibly upset and angry when we have to stop him from acting on his delusions on those occassions where he can't afford his meds (his parents are both very sick, so the medical bills pile up quickly). I've been accused of being "one of them" before. Once he gets back on his meds though, he appreciates that we look after him in spite of himself.0 -
Hang in there, the most important thing that you can do is get your husband to a doctor, there are many people who when they are taking the correct medication can lead perfectly healthy lives with mental illness. The most important thing that you can do is look out for your children and your own safety. Unfortunately this is not something that is going to go away oh its own and as much as your family is telling you to leave him that is not going to solve the problem either. However you have to leave if your families safety is at risk.
Only you know what the best choice is for you and your family but the first step would be to get professional help..... and stay away from the sweets. You can do it. I am an emotional eater too so I completely understand. Good Luck!0 -
Breathe. In. Hold it. Now exhale.
Repeat until calm.
You more or less described the last year of my life.
I can't tell you what to do, I can tell you what I have done.
Last summer we had to have our daughter committed to the state mental hospital. She is Borderline Personality Disorder with early hallmarks of schizophrenia. That was hard. Really hard.
At that point I had been using this sight regularly for about 30 days.
Roughly 2 weeks later we get told my mother-in-law had stage 4 small cell carcinoma of the lungs. It had metastasized into her kidneys, brain, throat and liver.
Insurance would not pay for chemo or radiation. My husband and I got second jobs on top of all this and started the fight of our lives to try and help raise the money to make it so the docs could maybe save her. We held fund raisers, took up collections and prayed a lot. We split our time between our daughter in the hospital, Mom, and our youngest daughter at home and working like mad fiends to raise money.
I will not lie and tell you this will be easy. I will tell you it is worth it. Every tear you will cry, every joy you get to see. The setbacks will happen. When you doubt yourself, double down and pray a bit more. Lean on the people that love you and don't be afraid to put you first. You can't save anyone or help them save themselves if you don't take care of you first.
A commitment hearing is a quick thing, pay some money to the circuit court clerk after filling out some paperwork with the why, they get it set before a judge to review, some doctors will talk to you and your husband and make evaluations. Usually 2 of them. They give their opinions to the court for the judge to review. If they think he is a danger, the judge will remand him into custody for treatment. It's hard but the end results are worth it. Don't give up.
Breathe some more.
Your sister is going to need you to be strong. Breast cancer is winnable. She can do this.
Stand strong and hold on. You are gonna need your emotions in order and your ability to organize and take care of you in fine fighting form.
We lost my mother-in-law last Sunday to her battle with cancer. It was hard taking care of her. It was hard to see her hurt, cry and slowly fade out on us. My heart still breaks at the things we have gone through the last year. We buried her Wednesday.
My oldest daughter is in a long term treatment facility 3 hours away from us. It is hard, but she is getting great care.
I don't know what the new normal is, but I do know I have a beautiful support system in place and you will too.
Feel free to friend me, I was where you are a year ago. If I can do this you can too.
Now breathe some more and have faith.0 -
Thank you all for your replies. Hearing situation similar to mine hepl me out more than you know. Is it selfish of me or wrong to be RELIEVED that ppl have actually lived what I am living as far as my husband goes?
I can honestly say that I am so glad I found mfp and you guys are great. Thank you again 0 -
We lost my mother-in-law last Sunday to her battle with cancer. It was hard taking care of her. It was hard to see her hurt, cry and slowly fade out on us. My heart still breaks at the things we have gone through the last year. We buried her Wednesday.
No words. Only the deepest sympathy for you, Danilynn1975, for this loss... Many prayers for you and your family.0 -
Sorry your going through all this...as others have said we cant make the choices for you but I do think you and your children will be in a much safer environment once your husband is diagnosed and receiving treatment.....good luck with everything0
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