Why do I dread meal times?

meetingacrosstheriver

Hi,

Have just started logging 7 days ago (this week logging, and then next week tweaking), however for the last few weeks I have found that I no longer enjoy my food and eating is just another task.

When making foods, I try to mix things up to make it more interesting, adding spices, making different dishes (I love Asian stir frys and Asian curries where I can just pack in a whole heap of yummy veggies). I never purchase take away food (with the exception of the occasional sushi roll) due to multiple allergies and intolerances. However, once I start eating, I just don't enjoy it no matter what it, even if they were meals I used to love.

Has anybody experienced this at all? What does it happen and what have you done to re-adjust your body?

I want to be able to enjoy my food again, and just have a collection of go to meals that I can frequently cook and enjoy.

Thanks!

meetingacrosstheriver

Any help would really be appreciated! I really don't want this journey to be harder than it already is.

Orphia

When losing weight, I just ate what I felt like, all the while staying within my calorie limit.

Some days there were more treats, some days were more salads, most of the time was just the food pyramid, with a treat and some alcohol pretty much every day.

I know it's hard if you've got allergies, but further restrictions such as "clean eating" or fad diets make it much too strict to stick to for long enough to lose the weight you need.

Hope some of this is useful.

kommodevaran

For me, getting in a better meal structure and planning meals, improved my enjoyment of eating and my relationship with food. But I was eating poorly, was afraid of food, and overweight. Could it be that you're trying to fix something that isn't a problem?

Machka9

When I started with MFP, I started eating a greater variety of delicious food ... I was glad to get away from the same ol' same ol'.

meetingacrosstheriver

Orphia wrote: »

When losing weight, I just ate what I felt like, all the while staying within my calorie limit.

Some days there were more treats, some days were more salads, most of the time was just the food pyramid, with a treat and some alcohol pretty much every day.

I know it's hard if you've got allergies, but further restrictions such as "clean eating" or fad diets make it much too strict to stick to for long enough to lose the weight you need.

Hope some of this is useful.

Hi Orphia,

Thanks for the response!

Completely agree with you about 'clean eating' and fad diets! Last year I was put on the 5:2 diet, and as part of that I was having meal replacement shakes which made me feel really sick - so definitely won't be going down that path again!

I do like the what you were saying about eating what you felt like and still staying within your calorie limits. I'll see how things go with that for a little while. Hopefully it works out with the allergies & intolerances plus allows me to continue to stay under my carb limit (PCOS sufferer as well!).

Thanks again for your advice!

meetingacrosstheriver

kommodevaran wrote: »

For me, getting in a better meal structure and planning meals, improved my enjoyment of eating and my relationship with food. But I was eating poorly, was afraid of food, and overweight. Could it be that you're trying to fix something that isn't a problem?

Hi kommodevaran,

I hadn't thought of it like that - maybe I am trying to fix something that isn't a major problem. I eat reasonably healthy as it is (still with the odd treat) and as I said, I don't eat take out which for me also includes buying a lot of junk from the supermarket, but what I am doing is trying to tweak my routine which probably didn't need tweaking to begin with.

I've was seeing a dietician for the past few years to try and work out some other problems, but I found she just kept tweaking with what was going well for me and not actually addressing the problem. As a result of that, I think I'm just trying to do the same thing because even when my meals are reasonable healthy, I keep being told to change them.

Thank you so much for your response! You've made me realise what one of the problems actually was!

meetingacrosstheriver

Machka9 wrote: »

When I started with MFP, I started eating a greater variety of delicious food ... I was glad to get away from the same ol' same ol'.

Hi Machka9,

A variety of foods is great, and because of my allergies and intolerances, it's helped me expand on what I can have. Unfortunately though, that being said, many of my choices are limited at times, as I also need to contend with PCOS which makes things a little harder because I need to be extremely careful when it comes to carbs

skymningen

Have you tried listening to your thoughts before, while and after you eat?

I also recently started logging and am still having problems with guilt.
I actually try to maintain my weight and build muscle, which means I need to increase my protein intake (which was very low before it seems). So eating what I used to eat does not work for it. I still like all of the ingredients.
So often I realize I have to eat much less of something I like and my brain expects me to be hungry even after eating, to get cravings for carbs. Also, I am struggling with some side effects (twitching eye, constipation). I am not sure if it is from changing my food (I am not changing it that much, I eat different ratios of the thing I used to eat before.) My brain is worrying about those as well. I am not sure if they are related to the food.
Then I did not see results as fast as all of those fancy "skinny fat to fit" progress pictures online promised me. Which got me on a track of exercising more and eating less.
Those are just my personal struggles, but I figured them out through reflecting a lot on how I actually feel thinking about food, planning meals, eating, getting hungry (on other days not being hungry enough) and so on. Maybe you can find out what is keeping you from enjoying your meals in a similar way.
It sounds to me that you want to log for one week and then next week eat similar things just tweaking them to fit better into your calorie/macro goals? Maybe it is the anticipation of getting the same stuff again next week that gets your appetite down?

meetingacrosstheriver

skymningen wrote: »

Have you tried listening to your thoughts before, while and after you eat?

I also recently started logging and am still having problems with guilt.
I actually try to maintain my weight and build muscle, which means I need to increase my protein intake (which was very low before it seems). So eating what I used to eat does not work for it. I still like all of the ingredients.
So often I realize I have to eat much less of something I like and my brain expects me to be hungry even after eating, to get cravings for carbs. Also, I am struggling with some side effects (twitching eye, constipation). I am not sure if it is from changing my food (I am not changing it that much, I eat different ratios of the thing I used to eat before.) My brain is worrying about those as well. I am not sure if they are related to the food.
Then I did not see results as fast as all of those fancy "skinny fat to fit" progress pictures online promised me. Which got me on a track of exercising more and eating less.
Those are just my personal struggles, but I figured them out through reflecting a lot on how I actually feel thinking about food, planning meals, eating, getting hungry (on other days not being hungry enough) and so on. Maybe you can find out what is keeping you from enjoying your meals in a similar way.
It sounds to me that you want to log for one week and then next week eat similar things just tweaking them to fit better into your calorie/macro goals? Maybe it is the anticipation of getting the same stuff again next week that gets your appetite down?

Hi skymningen,

You've definitely given me some food for thought (no pun intended!) there. Reflecting on what I'm thinking during those times is definitely something I can work on and see how that is impacting me on this journey.

Thank you so much for this!

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HeidiCooksSupper

I retired so have plenty of time to contemplate what to cook but I find the process of entering things into the diary is leading me to plan supper in more detail so I'm not trying to be creative late in the afternoon but instead just following a script I wrote earlier in the day.

In fact, I need to do that now for today so I don't end up at half-past five handing hubby the take-out Chinese menu.

ahoy_m8

I'm another one who enjoys more when I have a plan. I look forward to it vs. when I have no plan, I end up just grabbing what's easy and don't enjoy it as much (because, honestly, it is not as thoughtfully prepared.)

Not everyone feels this way, but I get some satisfaction from the food prep process as well. The creativity and presentation give me satisfaction apart from what I'm sticking in my pie hole. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy the eating part, too, but it's nice to get enjoyment from other aspects (e.g. company & conversation) besides the part that adds calories. When I really appreciate all the other aspects of a meal, I feel more satisfied with less food, if that makes sense.

Here is a totally different angle... a while back I had an overeating problem. There were some foods that I ate to excess to keep those fleeting moments of enjoyment going. I really LOVED those foods. Once I straightened out some disordered thinking, I didn't have the same LOVE for those foods. They were just food. It was kind of like losing a friend in a way, but to extend the analogy, it wasn't a very healthy friendship. I had to let go of some things and felt less intense positives about a few foods in exchange for a more overall positive feeling about eating in general. I can't tell from your post if your loss of eating enjoyment relates to this (probably not after just a couple weeks), but OP you seem thoughtful and circumspect so I'll put it out there in the off chance something resonates. Cheers!

leanitup123

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10563547/is-counting-calories-macros-destroying-our-enjoyment-of-food#latest

meetingacrosstheriver

leanitup123 wrote: »

http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10563547/is-counting-calories-macros-destroying-our-enjoyment-of-food#latest

Thanks @leanitup123! This is very insightful!

meetingacrosstheriver

ahoy_m8 wrote: »

I'm another one who enjoys more when I have a plan. I look forward to it vs. when I have no plan, I end up just grabbing what's easy and don't enjoy it as much (because, honestly, it is not as thoughtfully prepared.)

Not everyone feels this way, but I get some satisfaction from the food prep process as well. The creativity and presentation give me satisfaction apart from what I'm sticking in my pie hole. Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy the eating part, too, but it's nice to get enjoyment from other aspects (e.g. company & conversation) besides the part that adds calories. When I really appreciate all the other aspects of a meal, I feel more satisfied with less food, if that makes sense.

Here is a totally different angle... a while back I had an overeating problem. There were some foods that I ate to excess to keep those fleeting moments of enjoyment going. I really LOVED those foods. Once I straightened out some disordered thinking, I didn't have the same LOVE for those foods. They were just food. It was kind of like losing a friend in a way, but to extend the analogy, it wasn't a very healthy friendship. I had to let go of some things and felt less intense positives about a few foods in exchange for a more overall positive feeling about eating in general. I can't tell from your post if your loss of eating enjoyment relates to this (probably not after just a couple weeks), but OP you seem thoughtful and circumspect so I'll put it out there in the off chance something resonates. Cheers!

Hi @ahoy_m8,

Thanks for your response.

Unfortunately for me, planning or no planning, I honestly still do not enjoy it whatsoever. I definitely get the satisfaction for the meal prep and presentation, especially when cooking for others, but eating it is a pure struggle. Also completely understand where you are coming from with the different perspective. The overeating was definitely me about 10 years ago, now eating itself is just a struggle. My current calorie goal is set to a little over 1200 cals (I'm aiming to lose the 20kg I gained over the past 2 years whilst quite unwell), however at times, I can really struggle to make it to 1000. I do see what you mean about the disordered thinking though, and I think you could be onto something. I just can't relate to it from an overeating point of view.

I was working with a dietician, however they were not very helpful when it came to helping me deal with things like my allergies and intolerances, my PCOS or even trying to work out what triggers my IBS symptoms. She was more interested in the weight aspect, but not dealing with the other issues which once under control would assist with the weight loss. I had spoken to her about the fact that I struggle to meet my daily calories, but her answer was just to eat more calorie dense foods which at times can be quite hard given that some of the things she was suggesting were completely out due to the allergies and intolerances.

Again thank you though, I will be definitely looking up some information about disordered thinking and how it can impact on a persons relationship with food

meetingacrosstheriver

alwaysbloated wrote: »

It's funny, I struggled to stay within my calories in the past, because I didn't change the way I was eating, and I wasn't strategic. Now I have come up with a daily plan that ensures I get extra calories to play with everyday, and I have coping mechanisms in place if something goes wrong.

Hi @alwaysbloated,

Thanks for the response!

My problem isn't staying in within the calories, it's the opposite - I struggle to reach them! Due to the allergies and intolerances I have, I've been eating quite healthy for a while. As I mentioned in my initial post, if I do get take away, it's usually Sushi, otherwise I actually haven't touched take out food in nearly 7 years. Very rarely do I eat snack foods or treats, and it's only in the last day or so where I've been able to have a square or two of chocolate or a scoop of homemade ice cream and even then it isn't enjoyable for me at all but it's helped to increase the cals a bit.

I was working with a dietician, however they were not very helpful when it came to helping me deal with things like my allergies and intolerances, my PCOS or even trying to work out what triggers my IBS symptoms. She was more interested in the weight aspect, but not dealing with the other issues which once under control would assist with the weight loss. I had also spoken to her about the fact that I struggle to meet my daily calories, but her answer was just to eat more calorie dense foods which at times can be quite hard given that some of the things she was suggesting were completely out due to the allergies and intolerances.

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meganw2020

It sounds as though your problem is mostly psychological. I would venture a guess that so many years of being hurt physically by the foods you eat because of your conditions and allergies has caused you to have some anxiety about eating. Now with the added stress of tracking your calories it may have put you over the edge. I agree ahoy_m8 that looking into topics like disordered thinking would be very beneficial for you. Maybe also try mindful eating, food is a good thing there to nourish your body and your life, try to reconnect to that way of thinking.

meetingacrosstheriver

meganw2020 wrote: »

It sounds as though your problem is mostly psychological. I would venture a guess that so many years of being hurt physically by the foods you eat because of your conditions and allergies has caused you to have some anxiety about eating. Now with the added stress of tracking your calories it may have put you over the edge. I agree ahoy_m8 that looking into topics like disordered thinking would be very beneficial for you. Maybe also try mindful eating, food is a good thing there to nourish your body and your life, try to reconnect to that way of thinking.

Hi @meganw2020

Thanks for the reply! I think you are completely right, especially since that anxiety extends to social gatherings where we eat out, and fearing that I will get sick as unfortunately many places (at least the more affordable) treat it as though you are being a fussy eater or trying to be trendy when in fact it is more to do with health and not being sick.

I'll definitely be looking into the disordered thinking, and hopefully that can help me get back on track

kommodevaran

meetingacrosstheriver wrote: »

I was working with a dietician, however they were not very helpful when it came to helping me deal with things like my allergies and intolerances, my PCOS or even trying to work out what triggers my IBS symptoms. She was more interested in the weight aspect, but not dealing with the other issues which once under control would assist with the weight loss. I had also spoken to her about the fact that I struggle to meet my daily calories, but her answer was just to eat more calorie dense foods which at times can be quite hard given that some of the things she was suggesting were completely out due to the allergies and intolerances.

ahoy_m8's story really resonated with me, and I'm sorry to hear that planning and enjoying food preparation wasn't what was missing in your case. But I read this part again about the dietician, and it suddenly hit me - not trying to psycholanalyze you, just tell you a bit more of my story - could your lack of enjoyment and problems with eating enough stem from a combination of bad experiences with health issues with food and bad experiences with a professional? Your medical issues were unavoidable, but the bad professional could have been. It's not just that she didn't help you, or did a lousy job, she betrayed your trust. I hear resentment and bitterness, and you're entitled to your feelings. But maybe your feelings are holding you back a bit?

I have a perhaps comparable experience with the government(!) through their national dietary guidelines. I have tried to follow them, because I believed they were the best, and extremely important, to avoid disease and weight gain. The problem was that they were completely wrong for me - I need taste, balanced meals, and to make my own eating decisions, and I like meals and meal patterns that resemble normal, traditional setups - strict rules and low fat will make me crash and burn. But the bigger problem was that I never questioned them, and I am in my nature a questioner. I was too scared and too trustful, and I belived the government was something (someone?) I could trust - so I took failure to comply totally on me. After I found MFP, my attitude towards food and my eating habits have changed dramatically, so now I eat well and enjoy food, but I'm haunted by bitterness - all those years of trusting, trying, failing and self-loathing, and accumulating weight gain, were so unnecessary.

What I'm doing about it? Nothing too constructive, yet. So far I'm just taking it out on newcomers that show what I feel is the same pattern of blind faith in, and holding on for dear life to, plans that are obviously not working, and engross myself in articles about dietary guidelines. What I should be doing? I honestly think I should talk to someone.

This might not be your issue at all, but I want you to not think that your current problems with eating is "your fault" and that you are wrong, or disordered, or anything like that. You only react to what happens to you, more or less successfully, just like everybody else.

meetingacrosstheriver

kommodevaran wrote: »

ahoy_m8's story really resonated with me, and I'm sorry to hear that planning and enjoying food preparation wasn't what was missing in your case. But I read this part again about the dietician, and it suddenly hit me - not trying to psycholanalyze you, just tell you a bit more of my story - could your lack of enjoyment and problems with eating enough stem from a combination of bad experiences with health issues with food and bad experiences with a professional? Your medical issues were unavoidable, but the bad professional could have been. It's not just that she didn't help you, or did a lousy job, she betrayed your trust. I hear resentment and bitterness, and you're entitled to your feelings. But maybe your feelings are holding you back a bit?

I have a perhaps comparable experience with the government(!) through their national dietary guidelines. I have tried to follow them, because I believed they were the best, and extremely important, to avoid disease and weight gain. The problem was that they were completely wrong for me - I need taste, balanced meals, and to make my own eating decisions, and I like meals and meal patterns that resemble normal, traditional setups - strict rules and low fat will make me crash and burn. But the bigger problem was that I never questioned them, and I am in my nature a questioner. I was too scared and too trustful, and I belived the government was something (someone?) I could trust - so I took failure to comply totally on me. After I found MFP, my attitude towards food and my eating habits have changed dramatically, so now I eat well and enjoy food, but I'm haunted by bitterness - all those years of trusting, trying, failing and self-loathing, and accumulating weight gain, were so unnecessary.

What I'm doing about it? Nothing too constructive, yet. So far I'm just taking it out on newcomers that show what I feel is the same pattern of blind faith in, and holding on for dear life to, plans that are obviously not working, and engross myself in articles about dietary guidelines. What I should be doing? I honestly think I should talk to someone.

This might not be your issue at all, but I want you to not think that your current problems with eating is "your fault" and that you are wrong, or disordered, or anything like that. You only react to what happens to you, more or less successfully, just like everybody else.

Hi @kommodevaran,

Your post has really resonated with me out of all the posts so far.

After dealing with dieticians, I there is a bit of resentment there, and also a tinge of regret that I dealt with them for so long thinking that by working with them I was doing the right thing in order to reach my healthy weight.

Over the years, I have seen numerous dieticians and they have changed by diet up and honestly what I'm seeing now as unrealistic expectations as well, and by that I don't just mean in terms of how much weight I should be losing but more in terms of food, it's preparation and eating it, as well as exercising which I do try and fit in as much as I can.

Looking back, the most success I actually had with weight loss was using MFP on my own, but at the same time reading up on my conditions and learning about them to find what was best for me. Like you, my attitude and eating habits changed drastically, plus I actually enjoyed cooking and being adventurous. That worked, and was even able to maintain without the need for logging until I saw a dietician again.

Thank you so much for sharing your story, it really has resonated with me and was something that I needed to read!

petersonma

I also found for me, it's harder to enjoy eating when I first started logging, or sometimes in my case start again. The effort of tracking, had at first taken away my enjoyment of food. BUT, over time it gets easier. Tracking becomes mundane habit instead of a tedious chore and foods I frequently eat are quicker to log... Especially home built recipes.

It sounds like you may have several demotivating items to work through, but simple time may help as well.