When your boyfriend thinks youre too fat...

420Carebear420

So this tops everything off.. Mom went into the hospital car has a blown head gasket and found out my boyfriend is cheating on me because he finds me unattractive because I'm too fat. My heart is broken and i feel *kitten* horrible my whole world is gone and now im more stressed than ever. I want to die. *kitten* losing weight anymore. Ive done lost everything i can. Im too fat. Ill never lose weight. I want to die.

joshua0305

Oddly in life people come and go, I was single and heart broken. And that is when I refocused and started doing things in my life for me and how I wanted them.to be. Not a year later and I met my now wife... saying that can be summed up into when one door shuts get the hell.out of that house and find one that's not haunted.

Alatariel75

He's not cheating on you because he finds you unattractive, he's cheating on you because he's a piece of *kitten*. He's telling you its because you're fat because that way he can make you blame yourself, which is apparently working. He's not your boyfriend, he's your ex, and for bloody good reason.

usmcmp

You should rejoice that he showed his true colors before you married him. Now is the time to take care of yourself. Forget the loser who treated you like crap and only cares about superficial things. You can and will lose weight, he'll be an A*hole forever.

jgnatca

How many months did you waste on said boyfriend? Cry over the wasted hours with such a shallow guy. Consider this a near miss.

The car is more fixable than your boyfriend.

One box of Kleenex. That's all he's worth.

My hubby has loved me at every size. That's the kind of guy you deserve.

kimothy38

I feel for you. Harness the despair and put it to good use. Don't just lose weight - gain self esteem, stamina, fitness, a sense of purpose. You CAN do it.

ciclamino1

You have nothing to do with his decision to cheat. He cheated because he is a POS and disrespected you. Period. Focus on you, take care of you, love you, because you are always enough for you, never mind what POS men say. There will be hard days, more at the start but they will get fewer and fewer with time. Lean on those close to you, those that care about you and let them take care of you. But above all, remember that you are the captain of your ship, you have an opportunity to decide the direction in which to take your life now, free of the POS.

-"And here you are, living despite it all" - Rupi Kaur

orangegato

I'm sorry that everything seems wrong right now. The guy isn't worth it and you deserve better. I don't think you want to die but instead want more life. A better life. You can achieve that. You can find someone worthy of your love and be happy together. You can lose weight. Of course you can. But do it for you. Not for some *kitten* prick.

AliNouveau

That an *kitten*. As others said be glad he showed his true colours. When it rains it pours eh. Things are cruddy now but they will get better and you'll find someone who loves you for you and not a jerk

brockhampton

nope nope nope.

first of all, a guy, idc if he's idris elba or george clooney, should NEVER EVER be your whole world - you need to find a solid unshakeable sense of worth and meaning in yourself before you choose to be with someone. i used to be a serial monogamist and have been single for 2.5years by choice and have never been happier. in these 2.5years i've experienced things and achieved things i could've never imagined while being tethered down by someone. understand and accept that the only constant in your life is yourself, everything and everyone else around you, regardless of how permanent they may seem at whatever point in time, will leave. the only way you can achieve true peace of mind and true love is by learning to love yourself.

secondly, if you so choose to be with someone, the moment the person disrespects you in any way, is the moment s/he no longer deserves your respect or care, much less your agony and pain.

thirdly, as one can rarely control matters of the heart, if you cannot stop the pain, be loving towards yourself even thru the negativity. tell yourself you are human and part of being human is the capacity to feel sorrow and pain and all of those stuff that society tells you you're not supposed to feel. tell yourself that you are strong and you have survived most of your life without x person and will learn to do so again. tend to your body, tend to your heart, tend to your mind.

LynnJ9

Please go see a counselor. Even typing "I want to die" is concerning. A counselor can really help. You deserve to be happy and content, but sometimes you need help to find your way.
Please call someone if you have any thoughts, even fleeting thoughts of "not wanting to live". Everything you are going through shall pass and you will be stronger for going through it, but don't give up, and don't try to go throught it alone.

Bex953172

Look, if you're boyfriend thinks you're too fat, then you need a new boyfriend
Also, maybe let this fuel your hatefire?

Think it was khloe or Kim Kardashian that said "looking great is the best revenge"

Just imagine you put all your energy of being upset and hating him into your weight loss and then see his face when you're smoking hot!!!

You can have the last laugh love.

If you're serious about wanting to die (I know things must be a bit raw ATM) then do seek help. Even if there's any charities you can call for dealing with mental health. In the U.K. We have Mind and Samaritans

lauracups

If you pass by any tabloid you'll see skinny models and actresses getting cheated on too. Cheating isn't a result of your dress size, it's the result of the character flaw of the cheater. Move on, and do whatever it means to you to have health and wellness.

perkymommy

Someone doesn't cheat on you because of something you do or how you look. They cheat because they want to cheat. He would cheat even if you were at your goal weight. Cheating is a choice.

lorrpb

Are you overweight? You can change that
Boyfriend is a jerk? You can change that too.
Decide what YOU want and make a plan to get there.

Shells918

My exhusband thought I was too fat. Even when I was at my goal weight. He would straight tell me I was fat. He's a *kitten* and my EX for that and other reasons.

My current husband met me when I was in the best shape of my life (revenge body) and also watched me gain 50 pounds due to stress, medication and obviously lack of control of the fork in the mouth. And he tells me he loves my curves and not to lose too much weight. He supports my way of eating and working out completely and has not once said anything but positive things about my shape.

Get the car fixed. Spend time with your mom.
Take care of yourself. You'll find someone better.

eyer0ll

DTMFA.

ninerbuff

Here's the good news: at least you didn't find out after getting married or really serious about the cheating.
Also, you just got involved with the wrong person. Trust me when I tell you that there are guys out there that don't concern themselves as much with how a female looks, but more how they get treated by them.
It's not the end of the world. There are 4 billion people out there. You just got hosed by one. It happens. Don't dwell and move on because in real life, it's going to go on whether you want it to or not. It's HOW you let it affect you that matters.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Rusty740

That sucks, but it's going to get better. It really is.

dearcassandrab

Honestly, it sucks you got cheated on. I did too. Found out at the beginning of the month, and I was devastated just like you are. That's when I realized I felt beautiful, because he thought I was beautiful. I felt sexy, because he thought I was sexy. That's all wrong! You don't need him to be amazing. You were amazing before him, and you still will be no matter what. Girl don't give up on your goals over this guy. He's a bump in the road.
Hope your mom is okay, and the car can be fixed just don't give up!

Derpes

usmcmp wrote: »

You should rejoice that he showed his true colors before you married him. Now is the time to take care of yourself. Forget the loser who treated you like crap and only cares about superficial things. You can and will lose weight, he'll be an A*hole forever.

^this

Rebecca0224

You lost 100+lbs of *kitten* great job. Now focus on you and be kind to yourself. I was with someone who cheated and we would break up and get back together because I thought he cheated because I wasn't good enough. I was wrong, people cheat because they want to not because of their significant other. If he thought you were to fat and unattractive he would have broken up with you, he was selfish and wanted to have you at home and still play around that's not your fault. Good luck

Sheisinlove109

Please seek professional help. Typing those words is serious.

Then, thank him for doing you a favor.

p0werGurl

Cheating. There are people who
can stand it and people who can't. I can't. Being heartbroken is reasonable: what a horrible betrayal. Tell him you solved his problem: you're no longer interested in him. You can lose the weight, but he'll always be a cheater.

threecharms

Hallelujah!! You lucky girl!!

He's out of your life. Phew!! There are some out there whose bf/gf are STILL cheating on them.... RIGHT NOW, in fact... and those pie poor people are living a lie and don't even know it.

Thank God for your fat which saved you from a life with an *kitten*. Now you can thank the fat for its role in your life and send it on its merry way... thank you and bye bye, fat!

Therealobi1

I wish you and you mum all the best
dont worry about the ex and it wasnt because of your weight
there are plenty of people who are large who are in relationships.
take care

skellymama1

420Carebear420 wrote: »

So this tops everything off.. Mom went into the hospital car has a blown head gasket and found out my boyfriend is cheating on me because he finds me unattractive because I'm too fat. My heart is broken and i feel *kitten* horrible my whole world is gone and now im more stressed than ever. I want to die. *kitten* losing weight anymore. Ive done lost everything i can. Im too fat. Ill never lose weight. I want to die.

Shouldn't that be Ex boyfriend?
Seriously kick him to the kerb. A cheater is a cheater, nothing to do with you, your weight or size. So that puts that to bed.
So your mom is in the hospital, hopefully she'll get well again. Your car needs repair, these are everyday normal life things that people deal with.
So enough of the pity party, deep breath, pick yourself up, stop using day to day life stressors as an excuse to stay fat and unhealthy if its making you feel so bad about yourself.
You need to take your control back, life happens, every single day. But only you can make you happy. Have a good cry, but start looking at the positives here.
Now your not dating a low life cheater you are free to meet a great kind caring guy who appreciates you.
Your car can be fixed, but its a great excuse to start walking more.
Hopefully nothing to serious with your moms health but its a reminder how lucky you are to be in the position to do something about your weight and fitness.
Pick yourself up girl, enough with the poor me.
You can do this!

MFPSK1977

I hope your mom is okay.

Whitezombiegirl

My opinion is not going to be popular but ill give it anyway.

I think people are entitled to have preferences about what they find attractive and they are entitled to decline sexual intimacy with someone they no longer find attractive. I dont think this is shallow, its natural. This may not mean that they dont still have loving feelings towards the partner. Being without sex can be immensely frustrating and lead to a person cheating in order to get thier needs met without (hopefully) affecting the primary relationship.

So the loss of attraction and sexual desire is not my issue. I take issue with the lack of communication and betrayal of trust.

In a mature relationship these issues should have been addressed in a rational way- but this takes emotional intelligence. Its difficult. Ive been there myself recently. I didnt handle it as well as i might but i did avoid cheating.

The only advice i can give is to accept the situation, that its not your fault and try to move on. You dont need to lose body fat if you are happy with yourself. There are people who are attracted to different body types, and there will be someone who will value you- if and when you are ready for it.

rabblescum

Cheaters cheat because they are cheaters. They tell you it is because you are too thin , or fat, or prudish, or old, or emotionally unavailable, or tall, or short or whatever they know you are insecure about because they know that you hate that about yourself and will allow them to shift blame to you for their choices. If you want to lose weight because it will make you happier and healthier for YOU then great. If you like you the way you are, then fuckem' and find someone who is attracted to you as you are and as you are happy with you. Your choices are yours, his are his. Own yours and let him own his.