The vicious cycle of gaining weight and mental well-being

idealistic74

So, I am getting older (I'm almost 43) and I have a sedentary job (in front of a computer at home). Over the last 10 years, I've slowly and steadily gained weight from 150 lbs to (gasp) 190 lbs (I'm just under 5'6). I'm ashamed of myself. I have been successful at my job - but crap at taking care of myself. It's crazy when I think about it - why would one invest so much time on one's jobs and so little on oneself? It's backwards.

You know the crazy part? I love hiking. So, two weeks ago - I decided to do one of the more challenging hikes around here (it's about 10-11 hours, a lot of elevation gain) and I did the darn thing in 9.5 hours. So apparently, you can add another 40 pounds onto yourself and hike faster? Last week, I rode my bicycle for 7 hours on grassy/gravel terrain (sucked) and completed 75 kms. How am I doing that hauling 40 extra pounds. So I'm guessing I'm sort of fit, despite being very overweight? that's bizarre to me... I would have thought I'd be less capable with the added weight... and then that got me thinking .... what could I achieve if I was the weight I should be? I could be a lot stronger, a lot faster and I could be more confident doing even more challenging hikes and bike rides.

Then I started thinking about how my life could change if I started putting more value in my own well-being and achieving success (eating less, exercising more) where my weight is concerned rather than prioritizing success at work. Ultimately, I think people do at times "let themselves go" and focus on work... but it's kind of backwards, cause if you work on yourself and get yourself in physical shape, you will be able to do a better job at work. So, why don't we? Why is it so hard?

I get so focused and caught up on doing a work task.. time flies by and before I know it, it's the end of the day.

Any tips on how to break out of the downward spiral and get back on track? any others struggling the same way I am?

kshama2001

You sound very insightful and I have confidence that you will be able to get yourself back on track.

I also work in front of the computer at home. I force myself to push away from the computer and be active at lunchtime. When I do this, I am less inclined to get the munchies and am more productive in the afternoon. I'm also energized into the evening. I make better food choices when I exercise regularly.

It took discipline at first but now it's a habit. I used to set a reminder in Outlook telling me to go exercise

timtam163

When I was overweight and out of shape, I used to LOVE hiking. It was the first step in getting fitter, it gave me hope.

I think in order to reach your fitness goals, you might have to change up your current routine; ask yourself if you're ready/willing to do that. Letting oneself go is never intentional; it's just that routine has sprung up around you that doesn't prioritize physical wellbeing.

What changes do you think you can realistically make?

Sheisinlove109

It's all a mind game. I think to myself daily "how bad do I want it". It took me 20 years to learn to not sweat the small stuff because it clouds my ability to be the best me. I've learned to say no, I've learned to not let other people overpower me and I've learned that I have power to kick butt,I just needed to prove it to myself.

I'm not sure if this is for everyone but how I got my mind changed was I set out to workout out daily for 30 days straight, hardcore, sweaty workout. I started at 354 so it was a huge push for me. Here I am 8 months later and I've missed 8 days. I thought I would hate the gym and I found love in cardio and strength training. More than anything I learned that I can do it. I have developed a healthy habit. The food, weight loss and everything else fell in line. So confident and happy now!

I'm not sure how we get to where we do. Most important is to recognize we did, come up with a plan and change. Destroy excuses and get out there! It feels so good!

Duck_Puddle

I work at home in front of a computer as well. I use the time I used to spend commuting to do some sort of exercise.

fiddletime

So much is just mental games we work on to break the bad habits we picked up over the years. Almost everyone can lose weight, if they really want to. I prelog my day. If I over eat, and have a sinking heart, I pull out my phone and log it. Over the years I've learned that if I log it and I'm 200 calories in the red, that's not a big deal, but 2000 is a bigger deal. So, that's a trick that I've learned to do to keep me on my game. And I'm back for the third time, after regaining twice before. No other choice- for me.

kommodevaran

For me, it was the ideas I had about what it takes to be normal weight and fit - my perception of "healthy food" was boring and tasteless food, and my perception of "sufficient exercise" was "kill yourself in the gym". I also believed I just loved food and junk too much, and that I was lazy.

What a revelation I was in for at the time I found MFP. I discovered that weight management is ONLY about calories in - calories out, but that in order to manage calories in-out, I need to get in proper nutrition. And in order to get in proper nutrition, the food I eat has to be delicious, and easy to get/make, and in order to create and sustain good habits, I have to dedicate effort, awareness and time to planning, cooking and eating.

Exercise can be just normal day activities, walking, dancing, playing, housework. Not feeling forced to "work out", I'm more willing to move, so I move more.

I wasn't a greedy pig, and I didn't eat too much because I loved food - I just ate compulsively and I had no clue. I'd restrict too much in an attempt to control my weight, and then lose control. I'd cook enormous portions because I believed I needed a lot of food. Then I'd force it down because I didn't want to waste food.

Now I plan my meals, cook the right amounts, and eat it up. This is way more enjoyable! I also like feeling my own body. I realised a healthy female body has soft parts, but is not entirely made up of blubber. It's like it's supposed to be.

This has been, and still is, a journey of learning, about balance, non-dualism, acceptance, patience.

I've lost (and 2 1/2 years later, not found again) 50 pounds with MFP.

CattOfTheGarage

It doesn't necessarily follow that because you're overweight you are necessarily unfit.

As far as hiking is concerned, someone who is overweight is accustomed to carrying extra weight all the time, so they have more muscle to cope with that. I don't find it inconceivable that someone who is overweight but has good joints and good cardiovascular fitness could have more endurance because of that.

Also, you say you love hiking, which implies you have done quite a bit of it in the past. I also love hiking, and cycling, but I go through long lazy periods where I don't do much of either. When I pick them back up, I find I still have surprising endurance. There seem to be some things that your muscles don't readily forget. I expect it varies from person to person what that is.

Also, don't go by the estimated timings for hikes. Even I usually get there faster, and I have stubby little legs that never go above 3mph no matter what I do. The timings for hikes on websites or hiking books are very conservative and seem to allow for people crawling there on hands and knees.

idealistic74

I am on day 4 of eating 1,200 calories a day (staying away from pasta, bread and granulated sugar) and 30 mins of swimming/EA (aerobics) a day. I also have my phone go off every 1.5 hours to tell me it's time to do 5 mins on the stationary bicycle. Taking it one day at a time. I have 40 pounds to lose. Tomorrow, I'm planning to do a longish steep (about 20 kms, 1000-1500m elevation gain) hike.

My focus is to make the food that I do eat really tasty and take my time eating it (I'm used to wolfing food down at breakneck speed). I got this really crazy hot spicy salsa and rice crackers - both super low calories and enjoying that a lot for snacks.

I think I'm not going to pay attention to the scale for a couple of weeks so that I'm not depressed at the slow progress. I know it's going to take a long time to lose 40 lbs.

I agree with many of you, it's really a mental game and it's also a game of discipline. I keep reminding myself that I deserve to be healthy and be proud of my body when I look in the mirror. I also deserve to do all the outdoor activities I want, without dragging an extra 40 lbs with me. I am looking at all your stories as inspiration, so keep em coming!

tulips_and_tea

idealistic74 wrote: »

I am on day 4 of eating 1,200 calories a day (staying away from pasta, bread and granulated sugar) and 30 mins of swimming/EA (aerobics) a day. I also have my phone go off every 1.5 hours to tell me it's time to do 5 mins on the stationary bicycle. Taking it one day at a time. I have 40 pounds to lose. Tomorrow, I'm planning to do a longish steep (about 20 kms, 1000-1500m elevation gain) hike.

My focus is to make the food that I do eat really tasty and take my time eating it (I'm used to wolfing food down at breakneck speed). I got this really crazy hot spicy salsa and rice crackers - both super low calories and enjoying that a lot for snacks.

I think I'm not going to pay attention to the scale for a couple of weeks so that I'm not depressed at the slow progress. I know it's going to take a long time to lose 40 lbs.

I agree with many of you, it's really a mental game and it's also a game of discipline. I keep reminding myself that I deserve to be healthy and be proud of my body when I look in the mirror. I also deserve to do all the outdoor activities I want, without dragging an extra 40 lbs with me. I am looking at all your stories as inspiration, so keep em coming!

Per the bold, good for you for realizing that this is a bad habit and that slowing down and mindfully eating really does make a huge difference.

Whether or not you choose to stay away from the scale for a while, take your measurements now. Keep track of those regularly just as you do scale weight. They can change even when the scale doesn't.

And, you CAN have a successful career and a healthy lifestyle. It's not either or. It's about finding balance. Sounds like you're well on your way to keep at it and let us know how you're doing!