"You weight what? Girl, I'd kill to be that weight!"

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  • Dunsirn
    Dunsirn Posts: 82 Member
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    Dunsirn *Likes* this.

    (dammit, they should have some sort of affirmation generation system on here...)
  • Laura8603
    Laura8603 Posts: 590 Member
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    I agree with the reply that said this "I need attention, please tell me I am skinny."

    Mentioning your weight on fb is strange. You open yourself up to all kinds of comments plus no one really cares. You come across as a bragger to overweight people and thin people think you are fat.

    If you really want support and suggestions on how to lose weight, get it here.
  • Booksandbeaches
    Booksandbeaches Posts: 1,791 Member
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    I agree with the reply that said this "I need attention, please tell me I am skinny."

    Mentioning your weight on fb is strange. You open yourself up to all kinds of comments plus no one really cares. You come across as a bragger to overweight people and thin people think you are fat.

    If you really want support and suggestions on how to lose weight, get it here.

    This.

    I don't tell friends who are going through divorce how great my marriage is. You have to know your target audience's issues and have some empathy.
  • ebgbjo
    ebgbjo Posts: 821 Member
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    I might be in the minority here but I hate when people post things like "I WEIGH 135 I AM SO GROSS I CANT BELIEVE HOW GROSS I AM I NEED TO WEIGH 110 AGAIN" Well if you think you're gross at 135 I guess you think I am just downright disgusting at over 200? Nobody really wants to be a part of your self deprecation, if you don't want responses, simply don't post it. Or post it on MFP where people have similar goals as you. Of course there is a difference between posting a goal and self deprecating, but still, facebook is probably not the place.

    Not necessarily. 135 is almost gross on me as I am barely 4' 11 with very short waist. Even people of the same height can weigh the same and look completely different.

    This is why you ONLY friend real friends on Facebook. Ones you would talk about your weight, love life, friendships, work, etc.
  • randicooper1989
    randicooper1989 Posts: 15
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    Everyone that has posted here has a good point. It really is your life and if you don't want people saying things like that, don't post it on a very public site. Even if you make it private, people will see it eventually. I currently weigh 239 and I am trying to lose weight to be about 155 and I'm 5'4". I was told at the nutrition consult for Bariatric surgery that I didn't look like I belonged in the meeting that I didn't look like I weigh as much as I do. I like to think that the reason for that is because I have a lot of muscle. The person who told me this weighs well over 300 lbs, but she is also quite a bit taller than me. My point being, everyone is jealous of someone or everyone always wants more (or less in weight terms). I do post numbers and such on Facebook. I am not shy about my weight because I know that it IS my fault that I let myself go and I am working to find myself again. It's not an easy journey, for anyone!

    Keep your head up and carry on like it never happened. Good luck with your goals!
  • tootchute
    tootchute Posts: 392 Member
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    You shouldn't let what people say bother you, take all the good from your post and cut out the negative.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    I personally would respond with something dramatic like, "Oh my soul aches over this and now I am going to go bludgeon myself with my high school cheerleading trophy."
  • BeachGingerOnTheRocks
    BeachGingerOnTheRocks Posts: 3,927 Member
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    If you post about your weight/health/fitness on Facebook your gonna have a bad time

    Came here to say just this.

    Keep anything health/fitness related off Facebook. It gets ugly no matter what.

    You could post something about how happy you are and people will say you're gloating. Been there.

    If you post that you're unhappy, they'll say you're ungrateful. Been there, too.

    Facebook is for mindlessly playing that Candy game they all seem to be playing and sharing pictures of kids that nobody really wants to see except the grandparents.

    Stay here where it's relatively safe to talk about food and your weight. Well, relatively anyway.
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
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    I don't post my weight on Facebook, but sometimes I will post the fact that my weight went up, or my clothes size changed, etc. so I know exactly how you feel. It is insanely frustrating to be working very hard for a specific goal only to have some people bigger than you ridicule you when you by chance took a step backwards away from said goal.

    Just remember that YOU are the one working hard for that goal, and not them. They are making crazy remarks like that because deep down, they honestly do wish that they had your motivation and dedication to get to a smaller goal. Perhaps they are jealous. Perhaps not...perhaps they are simply letting loose personal feelings of anger and disappointment in THEMSELVES because they are not where you are.

    But whatever the reasons they make the comments, just remember that it is best to not respond to make the situation worse. I found that when it happened to me and I politely explained how my personal goal was to be 16% body fat and to wear size 2 clothes, they started body shaming ladies who were that size talking all bad about what they think of that look, how it will also look awful on me, etc. It's best to not respond and let the conversation die. And then from here on out, don't bother posting specifics on Facebook (unless you get to your goal and are happy about it! If you go backwards, don't let them know! it only feeds the fire).

    As far as the other comments that suggested to only tell these things to your thin friends...I somewhat agree. I would simply change that to fit-minded friends. Meaning, have a group of friends (such as MFP'ers) who are trying to change their body for the better, whether losing fat, gaining muscle, or just training for a specific goal like a 5k. They can be any size, really. Fit-minded people will support you in your goals, even if they are not there yet! They will understand. If they don't, then they shouldn't be your friends anyway. IMHO.
  • saschka7
    saschka7 Posts: 577 Member
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    As a person whom many have seen to be on the thin side, I have also been on the receiving end of those kind of comments-"I would kill to be 145 lbs!"--and when you're expressing a valid feeling of being disturbed by a weight gain, of course it's annoying to get those sort of responses.

    On the flip side, I have also been on the other side of the fence when I hear people say "I only ran 3 miles today instead of 5" and I just want to say "What are you complaining about? I would love to be able to run ONE mile, are you kidding? Make it up tomorrow, what's the big deal?"

    What it boils down to is that we all feel that our viewpoint is the most important--whether it actually is or not doesn't seem to matter.

    Not only do we want to filter our own new experiences through our old experiences, we want to filter and view everyone else's experiences through ours as well.Unfortunately it's human nature.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    This is why you ONLY friend real friends on Facebook. Ones you would talk about your weight, love life, friendships, work, etc.

    I'm friends with my real friends on fb, but I would have boring friends if I talked about my weight with all my friends. We talk about different things with different people, in the context of different friendships.

    Also, I like facebook. I have moved a lot and have a lot of friends that I would have lost touch with otherwise. I don't play games or do mindless stuff on fb or post excessive baby pics. I talk about important issues. I share funny anecdotes about my kids or other experiences. I see what my friends post (and enjoy seeing their kids). I share about my dance performances and find out about other dance projects and opportunities within the dance community. I just don't post on fb everyday, more like once a week or so (at most).
  • iKapuniai
    iKapuniai Posts: 594 Member
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    I would not complain about weight in a public way like that for that very reason. Find a thin girlfriend to ***** to, they'll be less likely to be upset by it

    Agreed.

    And personally, speaking from the jealous fat girl's perspective (I'm 340lbs), it really is insulting to us REAL fat girls. Of course, weight gain in general would be upsetting for everyone, but for people that really don't have much to lose, or people that are already in pretty good shape and gained a measley 10lbs but still look good and are healthy, it's never a good idea to complain about your weight where everyone and their mama can hear/see it. Especially FB, for real? Worse place ever. So yeah, from a fat girls perspective, it's insulting.

    However, on the flip side... I'm all about freedom of speech and being able to express yourself, so if you DON'T have a thin friend to complain about your weight to, then whatever, feel free to express yourself. Us fat girls need to not let it bother us, and you thin girls need to let the negative responses roll off ya skinny backs. ;)

    Anyhow, I wish you luck in reaching your goals! After all, that's what we're here for. :)

    Much Love and Alohas,
    Ihilani Kapuniai
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    How I would respond would be, "Thanks, everybody. I know you're all right. I know logically it's not that big of a deal. But sometimes that stupid little voice inside your head still creeps up on you."

    Because that's exactly what I tell myself when I get frustrated over minor setbacks. No one holds the market on insecurities and frustration. Everyone experiences them from time to time.
  • ebgbjo
    ebgbjo Posts: 821 Member
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    What I meant was it is better to only friend REAL friends on facebook. The type of friends you would talk about those things with. Not the neighbor of your best friend whom you only waved to once, or a parent of another kid that goes to your childs school with whom you have never had a conversation with. That type of thing. I have no idea why people friend people on Facebook when they are not friends (people they would hang out with, converse with) in real life. Talk about posting weight issues on FB being a ploy for attention? Well, that is EVERYTHING people put on FB- status updates, photos, videos, everything
    This is why you ONLY friend real friends on Facebook. Ones you would talk about your weight, love life, friendships, work, etc.

    I'm friends with my real friends on fb, but I would have boring friends if I talked about my weight with all my friends. We talk about different things with different people, in the context of different friendships.

    Also, I like facebook. I have moved a lot and have a lot of friends that I would have lost touch with otherwise. I don't play games or do mindless stuff on fb or post excessive baby pics. I talk about important issues. I share funny anecdotes about my kids or other experiences. I see what my friends post (and enjoy seeing their kids). I share about my dance performances and find out about other dance projects and opportunities within the dance community. I just don't post on fb everyday, more like once a week or so (at most).
  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,654 Member
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    They're trying to make you feel better. Because they're your friends. Don't get all offended.
  • supbanana
    supbanana Posts: 37 Member
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    I'm answering as someone that used to naively respond exactly the same way as your friends. As someone that weighed over 300 pounds for years, I used to roll my eyes when someone would complain about needing to lose five pounds like it was the end of the world.

    Then I had this friend, 5'6", 135 pounds, thin, GORGEOUS girl. I would have killed to look like her, she remains one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. We were drinking at a party one night when she pulled me aside and asked me why I was so shy, so I told her it was because I was fat. She looked around, pulled me to the side of the house where we were alone, and then told me that she understood how I felt because she had a little pooch of fat over her stomach thanks to her pregnancy. She lifted up her shirt and showed me her little pad of fat and at first I was incredulous... here I am, a size 26, she's like a size 6 and she's worried about this little pooch that no one even knows about? But then I saw that she was on the verge of tears. This was really bothering her, probably just as much as my own weight bothered me.

    It showed me that weight and appearance is all relative and that we shouldn't dismiss other people's perceptions of their own body. Just because we can see somebody is thin, gorgeous and healthy doesn't mean that they feel the exact opposite and they deserve support and understanding every bit as much as someone with obvious issues.
  • wamydia
    wamydia Posts: 259 Member
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    Just try to take it in stride and remember a couple of things. First, when people respond like this, it really isn't a reflection on you. It's that a lot of other people out there have weight issues too and they are just as easily upset by reminders of their weight issues as you are. Some people feel like when a "skinny" person announces their weight to the world for any reason, it's just trying to rub "fat" people's faces in it. Since that wasn't your intention, there's no reason for you to be upset by other people's reactions. Second, if you are going to talk about a sensitive topic in public, you have to be prepared for a lot of different reactions. If you can't handle those reactions, it would probably be a good idea to save those kinds of discussions for friends and family members that you know can understand how you are feeling.
  • MinatoandClover
    MinatoandClover Posts: 160 Member
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    Yes, I've gotten this response. It's annoying. --;; I have a friend who weighs a considerable amount more than me. Not going to reveal how much. When I tell her I'm 80-something kilos, I typically get that response from her. Nevermind the fact that she's a full 4 inches taller than me and naturally has a normal build, whereas I'm petite. Nope. My weight is something to be desired, and I shouldn't complain about it, right? >.> When I get snide comments from people about my weight, when I can't fit into the clothes I used to be able to wear, when I'm bumping into things because I'm not used to being this size, that indicates to -me- that I weigh too much. If I'm not at a healthy weight and I'm not happy with it, that's my business. Nobody should be belittling anyone's efforts nor a want to make those efforts based on the fact that they have a higher starting weight or are bigger than that person.
  • SmilinSue12
    SmilinSue12 Posts: 71 Member
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    Don't post stuff like that on Facebook for the world to see if you don't want to hear the responses.

    This. I cringe when people put personal crap on FB. Are you new to the internets? Of course a 250 friend is going to envy your weight. What on earth are you complaining about? If you're unhappy with your weight, do something about it other than complaining on FB and then complaining about the responses. All that energy could have gone into a great run.

    People people... The girl did NOT post it on FB. She posted it HERE hoping to have some support and probably some ways to help her lose those 10 lbs... She did not ask to have rude responses. She thought she was among friends with the same issues.

    And this post is to not aggravate things. She simply wants to know HOW to rephrase her question to not offend anyone and to get some positive responses.

    My suggestion would be to post it on your wall rather on the forum. Your FL have mostly the same issues as yours. The forum has a wider variety of people.

    TwoCents.gif
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    People people... The girl did NOT post it on FB. She posted it HERE hoping to have some support and probably some ways to help her lose those 10 lbs... She did not ask to have rude responses. She thought she was among friends with the same issues.

    No. This is exactly what she wrote in her first post.
    I gained 10lbs and it REALLY upset me. I posted on my facebook "I'm up to 157. I don't know what happened." and here are some of the responses:

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