I keep sabotaging myself!

CB8504

Every night before I go to bed I tell myself tomorrow will be different. All my food decisions will be healthy! But then I always end up eating bad foods because I'm hungry or I just can't stop thinking about what ever it is I'm craving. I read all these success stories of people who seem to all say they had something click inside them that said enough, I'm making a change and they quit eating processed foods, sugar, etc and just started eating fruits and vegetables. I need that "click" to happen to me that gives me that strength and willpower to say no fried foods and sweets even if hubby is eating it. Even if it's just a gradual start.

Right now I just sabotage myself every day. Today I went over by 1,000. So I tell myself "if you quit eating what you know is bad for you then you won't feel bad about yourself and have regrets" Of course I tell myself this at night but then everything resets the next morning. So I'm just venting here. I know what I need to do to reach my goals, I just need to make myself be stronger against these cravings.

MichelleSilverleaf

Or find a middle ground. I found that thinking in terms of "good" and "bad" was completely detrimental to my efforts. I knew I would never stick to this new change if I went the route of cutting out sweets, processed foods (such a terrible term), etc completely. Some people can, some can't. So I balanced it instead. I still have my daily iced cappuccino, but having it made with milk instead of cream drastically cut down its sugar and calories. I still have ice cream, chips, soda, take-out, etc but I work it into my daily calories. I change my serving sizes. I kept myself accountable and if I overate, oh well it was only a day. So no, you don't necessarily need that "click" in terms of sweets and fried foods - have them! Just moderate your intake.

CB8504

I guess what I'm also saying is I'm not moderating my intake as well. It's like "hey you've had your sweets today and take out, that's enough" but then I get take out again for supper and eat a candy bar. Why, why, why? I have very little self control.
Thanks for responding by the way. It's nice to feel heard. I appreciate your encouragement!

ninerbuff

The issue is is that you're NOT CONVINCED you really need to do anything. I ask clients who say they "want" to change, but don't......................."what's it gonna take?"
I had a 300lbs client work out with me consistently, but didn't change his eating habits. Then he had a stroke and got paralyzed on the left side. For 3 months now we've be rehabbing him, but he's lost 40lbs so far now. He's doing well and wants to get back to doing what he loves...........attending and performing at Bigfoot conventions.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

MichelleSilverleaf

CB8504 wrote: »

I guess what I'm also saying is I'm not moderating my intake as well. It's like "hey you've had your sweets today and take out, that's enough" but then I get take out again for supper and eat a candy bar. Why, why, why? I have very little self control.
Thanks for responding by the way. It's nice to feel heard. I appreciate your encouragement!

Focus on feeling full, that helped me tremendously curb down the snacking on days when I wanted to go for the easy stuff. Trust me the last thing you want to do is eat when your stomach feels full. Focus on meals and snacks that are a little more dense but not necessarily calorie dense, or just drink water. The latter works great in a pinch, and I have gone from "I REALLY want to go get chips" to "yeah no way no how now" a few times thanks to it. For some it's carbs, for some it's fats, for me it's proteins.

dutchandkiwi

Start pre-logging, it may help as yo make those choices in advance instead of on the go.
Instead of depriving yourself it will give you a schedule of food and what and when you eat it.

CoueCoue

OK...I'm not usually "mean" on these forums, but you have tapped into my pet hate...the word "sabotage". I come across so many people who fail at something saying they "self-sabotage" or "sabotage themselves". They don't! The definition of sabotaging is:

"deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct"

Sabotage is a DELIBERATE act i.e. something that requires effort in itself. It is an active way of being. There is nothing deliberate about you eating "bad foods", quite the opposite. It is entirely unthinking and passive. You are always doing what you've always done. That takes no effort.

The term "self-sabotage" is too easy. It makes it sound like you are still in control. "I am failing at this because I choose to". You're not.

Sorry for the tough love - but take control PROPERLY. Stop making excuses and take responsibility and DELIBERATELY CHOOSE to succeed. Stop blaming "sabotage".

GOOD LUCK.

InkAndApples

Deciding "all my food decisions will be healthy" would be the worst possible thing for me.

Moderation, pre log, don't deprive yourself. And if that doesn't work I'm afraid you just don't want it enough yet.

efoleo

CB8504 wrote: »

Every night before I go to bed I tell myself tomorrow will be different. All my food decisions will be healthy! But then I always end up eating bad foods because I'm hungry or I just can't stop thinking about what ever it is I'm craving. I read all these success stories of people who seem to all say they had something click inside them that said enough, I'm making a change and they quit eating processed foods, sugar, etc and just started eating fruits and vegetables. I need that "click" to happen to me that gives me that strength and willpower to say no fried foods and sweets even if hubby is eating it. Even if it's just a gradual start.

Right now I just sabotage myself every day. Today I went over by 1,000. So I tell myself "if you quit eating what you know is bad for you then you won't feel bad about yourself and have regrets" Of course I tell myself this at night but then everything resets the next morning. So I'm just venting here. I know what I need to do to reach my goals, I just need to make myself be stronger against these cravings.

Ur words echo my exact situation! Were u active or normal weight in the past tho? I mean ive always struggled with food and yoyoed with weight but i used to like sports....still do but little willpower as u say. I currently eat more than double my calories daily. Im addicted to sugar especially in coffee and soda. I dont drink water at all. And even tho the thougt of losing weight sounds heavenly, i dont seem to be able to say no to myself. My habits are so strong now. Bad food choices, Eating or drinking throughout the day, eating at night, sitting a lot, no water, etc. Even exercise only works if i pay a trainer for motivation. And yet i wnt it so bad....i look awful. ....cant look at myself in the mirror....will need to buy clothes soon for another year and totally dreading it....will need to travel soon and totally dreading it....need to go to a wedding and just cringing inside at the thought....but still....the struggle seems so hard. And yet, i know if i just do 2 weeks of normal eating/drinking, i will b on a roll nd feeling a whole lot better. Wht shld we do?? How can we help eachother?

My_Butt

When you're at this point, you have plenty of things to focus on to see if that 'click' will happen.
PROBLEM: Eating too many calories
OPTION 1: try drinking more water. You may actually be thirsty, but your feeling it as hunger.
OPTION 2: seeing foods as 'good' and 'bad' sets you up for failure. The moment you have a 'bad' food you may think 'well today is a loss, may as well as have everything bad today since it's delicious'. A calorie is a calorie. It provides you with energy. No more bad or good.
OPTION 3: notice your cravings and try alternatives. If you want sweet cookies, have sweet fruits. Want a crunchy potato chip, have crisp veggie sticks. If your craving a specific food, pre log it and see if it works out into your daily goal. If not, save it for tomorrow when you can rearrange your meal day.
OPTION 4: check your TDEE and make sure you don't have your calories set too low. Not consuming enough after a few days will send your body into craving high calorie foods quick.

Good luck!

perkymommy

How about logging your meals ahead of time. Decide what you will eat for each meal and log it that morning or the day before? That might help you if you know you need to stick to only what you logged. Once you get in to a good routine for about 2-3 weeks it will get a little easier. I have been back at it for a week and noticed a couple days I would get a bored feeling and want food but had to busy myself with something else til it goes away. I was bored eating and probably didn't even realize it half the time so that's why I was gaining weight.

CB8504

Thanks everyone. I will try the pre-logging thing and increasing my water intake. Also I've been wanting to try the idea of swapping out my favorite foods for the healthier versions (Ex: swap potatos for sweet potatos) so now would be a good time to try that.

cashowery

Do you drink diet soda or use artificial sweeteners? They can drastically change your appetite. I've always struggled with weight and had a problem sticking to a plan. I recently cut out artificial sweeteners and it has made a HUGE difference for me. I used to feel like I was compulsively eating and had no control, but now I feel like my relationship with food has completely changed. Best wishes on your journey!

deqchik

Same here.... i always feels like my husband hate my body.. i did zumba tonight .. then an hour later i eat sweet biscuit.. omg i hate myself right now...i really hope u can make it..and please pray for me too

CB8504

deqchik wrote: »

Same here.... i always feels like my husband hate my body.. i did zumba tonight .. then an hour later i eat sweet biscuit.. omg i hate myself right now...i really hope u can make it..and please pray for me too

I do this too! I will work out and then eat terribly. It makes me feel like I wasted my time working out or ruined it. But at the same time at least you're making effort in some area. Maybe it's the first baby step. And it's better than eating bad and NOT working out. I hope the diet and nutrition falls into place with you as well. Don't give up on the Zumba!

Moxie42

One thing that helps me moderate is buying individually-packaged snacks, like those 100-cal baggies of cookies, small squares of dark chocolate, or Skinny Cow ice cream. Night is always the hardest for me so during the day I tell myself, "Tonight I can have that ice cream at home!" and then after dinner, when I want something sweet, I grab my individually packaged snack and am usually satisfied with that.

Swapping out foods helps me in some situations but not in others. For example, now I usually just have veggies or cauliflower rice with meals instead of pasta or regular rice (I like veggies and they're lower-cal so I figure, why not?) But I don't buy low-fat/non-fat dairy anymore (unless it's something I find equally yummy) because if I don't like what I'm eating, I know I won't stick with it. One thing to keep in mind though is that although some alternatives might be more nutritious, they might not be lower-calorie, and the calories are what will determine whether weight is lost or gained.

RedSierra

I've read this a million times on MFP: think of this as a lifestyle, not a diet. Think of it as a permanent lifestyle.

Include foods you enjoy -- just make them fit into your calorie goal for the day. Plan a small sweet for dessert. You can also have treats that aren't calorie bombs -- yogurt with fruit, for example.

If you are just trying to lose weight, it's all about calories, not the type of food.

If you have a medical problem, or want to overhail your diet to have better nutrition, then the type of food would matter more.

If your husband is eating trigger food in front of you, can the two of you work something out? The people we live with are not on a diet, so they have the right to eat whatever they want, but maybe he could eat it at work and not at home?

flutatious1

I have the exact same problem. I have found that if I allow myself to even taste a potato chip or piece of candy (anything not "healthy") I crave more of it. Sugar is like crack to me. One taste and I'm hooked. I did the best when I just completely cut added sugar out and flushed my system out with lots of water. Eventually my body didn't crave any more and when I did occasionally cheat, I felt sick afterwards. My current battle has been going on for a few months now. It started with my daughters birthday with all the treats in the house (stuff I normally don't buy). We also had my sons bday and a camping trip. I just got rid of all the crap and threw it out. I'm recovering from back surgery and hope to start cardio again tomorrow. Usually that helps curb the cravings too. Good luck - feel free to add me. I'm always looking for new friends to help motivate!

VeronicaA76

Meal prep!!! Seriously. One day a week, make 21 meals. That's what I do (well, I make 42 - 6 meals a day is my nutrition plan). If I'm hungry I just grab one and pop it in the microwave. Each one of my meals has 4-5oz lean protien, 1/2 cup complex carbs, 1 cup veggies. That way, I never sabotage my nutrition when I get hungry (which is all the time!)

Misskcm

You're right. It does take that "click". No one can get yourself there other than YOU.
I want you to do something. Go look in the mirror and look at yourself. And I mean really look at yourself. Are you happy with you?
You have to get to a point where you say "enough is enough".
I wish I could give you the answer of how to get there, but I cannot.
I can tell you that every time I want something unhealthy I go in the bathroom, look in the mirror and sometimes I like the person I see sometimes I hate it, but almost every time I say no to the chocolate bar or the fast food or even going back for seconds on a home cooked meal. Ask yourself "is it worth feeling like this the rest of my life" or "is it worth gaining back the weight I worked so hard to lose".

You'll get to that point. I know you will.

bremm2015

Just read your post this morning Miss and thought that is a brilliant idea. I will make myself go and look in the mirror when tempted to eat off plan, even if it is just one or two extra pecans. Thanks for your inspiring idea.