Recovering from My Eating Disorder
Charley382190
Posts: 1 Member
My name is Kathryn, and I am an eating disorder survivor. To some, that may sound a bit silly or extreme, but in all reality, it isn't. People die from eating disorders EVERY DAY. Though thanks to my family intervening, I am not one of them.
Growing up, I was always very self-concious about my weight and how I looked. The summer before I turned 14, I began to develop serious body dysmorphia, and that August, I also developed bulimic tendencies. By that November, it got very serious. I was purging almost everyday, and began extreme workouts. The following January, I decided that throwing up my food wasn't enough, and that I just needed to stop eating. I continued working out, began taking diet pills, and ate only around 500 calories a day. That's when my bulimia turned into anorexia. I went from being 5'5" and 135lbs, to 105lbs. I was cold all the time, and I never had any energy. My grades began to slip in school, and my relationships with friends and family began to deteriorate. Around March, my periods stopped. By April, friends and family started to show their concern, asking me everyday what was wrong, and why I was loosing so much weight. I always denied that there was an issue. I lied, and said I didn't know what they were talking about; that there was nothing wrong. At school, I never ate, and at home, I hid as much of the food that I was given as I could, and threw it away later, so my family would think I was eating. By early June, people began to figure it out. My friends went to my school counselor. We talked, and then she called my parents. They did not react well, to say the least. They weren't sympathetic, but furious rather. Tough love, I guess you could say. They made me begin gorging myself, thinking that as long as I gained the weight back; fixed the physical issue, then everything would be fine. What they didn't understand was that it was a mental thing. It was rough. I felt alone, and angry. At myself for having done so much physical and mental damage to my body, and at them for making me stop. I cried at almost every meal, and usually took over an hour to eat what I was given. They watched me, and didn't let me use the bathroom after I ate, to make sure I couldn't purge. Only now, am I beginning to feel okay again. About food, and about myself. I currently weigh about 115lbs, and I'm going to try to keep it there. I'm trying to be healthy now. I exercise, moderately. I'm trying to eat healthy portions of healthy foods. It's still hard sometimes, but I have my friends and family to fall back on. My parents understand better now, and I think we;ve become closer because of it.
What people need to understand is that eating disorders are a disease. It's an addiction, and should be treated as one. If you or someone you know is suffering from bulimia or anorexia, find help. It's difficult, but from me, a survivor of both bulimia and anorexia, to you: it's not impossible.
Growing up, I was always very self-concious about my weight and how I looked. The summer before I turned 14, I began to develop serious body dysmorphia, and that August, I also developed bulimic tendencies. By that November, it got very serious. I was purging almost everyday, and began extreme workouts. The following January, I decided that throwing up my food wasn't enough, and that I just needed to stop eating. I continued working out, began taking diet pills, and ate only around 500 calories a day. That's when my bulimia turned into anorexia. I went from being 5'5" and 135lbs, to 105lbs. I was cold all the time, and I never had any energy. My grades began to slip in school, and my relationships with friends and family began to deteriorate. Around March, my periods stopped. By April, friends and family started to show their concern, asking me everyday what was wrong, and why I was loosing so much weight. I always denied that there was an issue. I lied, and said I didn't know what they were talking about; that there was nothing wrong. At school, I never ate, and at home, I hid as much of the food that I was given as I could, and threw it away later, so my family would think I was eating. By early June, people began to figure it out. My friends went to my school counselor. We talked, and then she called my parents. They did not react well, to say the least. They weren't sympathetic, but furious rather. Tough love, I guess you could say. They made me begin gorging myself, thinking that as long as I gained the weight back; fixed the physical issue, then everything would be fine. What they didn't understand was that it was a mental thing. It was rough. I felt alone, and angry. At myself for having done so much physical and mental damage to my body, and at them for making me stop. I cried at almost every meal, and usually took over an hour to eat what I was given. They watched me, and didn't let me use the bathroom after I ate, to make sure I couldn't purge. Only now, am I beginning to feel okay again. About food, and about myself. I currently weigh about 115lbs, and I'm going to try to keep it there. I'm trying to be healthy now. I exercise, moderately. I'm trying to eat healthy portions of healthy foods. It's still hard sometimes, but I have my friends and family to fall back on. My parents understand better now, and I think we;ve become closer because of it.
What people need to understand is that eating disorders are a disease. It's an addiction, and should be treated as one. If you or someone you know is suffering from bulimia or anorexia, find help. It's difficult, but from me, a survivor of both bulimia and anorexia, to you: it's not impossible.
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Replies
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Great job!0
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It takes a lot of courage to admit you have a problem. Whether you eat too much, or too little. I commend your strength to fight it and win. So happy for you and wish you continued success on your journey!1
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You've saved your life. I'm so glad for you!2
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Well done, I can relate all too well to how challenging it is to overcome the ED mindset. I am still struggling with it intermittently myself, but getting involved in fitness and this site gave me the tools to challenge myself each time I slip. I hope it will help you in the same way.0
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Love this. I have been struggling with eating disorders for the past 3 years now which makes attempting to lose weight a bit more complex and frustrating because sometimes I might be headed in the right direction but then my eating disorder comes into play again. I know how hard it is so major props to you for getting yourself on the right track. Keep it up. Congrats0
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