Discouragement

jessicaallen1996

I'm feeing discouraged, and overwhelmed. I am 318.5 pounds, and my goal weight is 165... it feels like I'm past the point of hope of losing the weight. I'm frustrated that no matter how often I identify that I have so much weight to lose and that I need to start working at it again; I always don't do it.

tgcakef

One day at a time. One thing at a time.

Start by logging your food. Don't have a food scale? That's fine, just log it. The act of logging has been shown to reduce food intake, and make us more mindful.

Try to identify your bad habits. Do you snack too much? Are your portions too big? Are you eating only calorie dense food? Food logging will help you identify these. Go a little further. Try to identify the root of your problem. Do you eat because you feel bad? Do you eat because you don't recognise hunger signals or feel hungry all the time? Do you eat because you're bored?

Work on these habits one at a time. Don't do too much at once. Maybe focus on just portion control or cutting out snacking, etc.

Prepare for failure. You will fail. Understand that you are not perfect, and that failure is just a blip. Do not let it derail you; tomorrow is always a new day, the next meal or snack is always a new meal. There's always time to jump back on board.

If you can, exercise. Exercise will help burn some calories, and has the added benefit of making you feel better, and increasing your fitness.

Most of all, know that you have people here who will support you, and push you, and encourage you. Please add me if you like, and feel free to message me at any time.

Your weight is just a number. It will go down as you make the changes necessary for a healthy, sustainable life. It will be slow. You will *kitten* up. You will make mistakes. Don't beat yourself up for those but just move on. Failing does not mean you are a failure. It just means you made a mistake. That's fine. We all do that. Move on, and start again.

Evamutt

you can do it but don't focus on how much you want to lose, live one day at a time, did you put in all your info into mfp? how many calories did it give you? if you stick with that you will lose weight. experiment with what foods satisfy you the most. Alot of ppl, including myself feel fuller eating more protein & fats, don't wait till you're hungry to eat, drink plenty of water, get some exercise, walking is great. Distract yourself in between meals. If you go over sometimes, don't give up, just start again with the next meal. None of us are perfect but successful when we keep working toward the goal.

estherdragonbat

Hang in there. There is hope. I haven't got as much to lose as you do, but from where I started, 124 lbs felt pretty overwhelming. Slowly but surely, it's been whittled down to 51 for me.

Work on small, manageable goals. Don't think about the big number. Think about the next 5, the next 10. And if some weeks it's 0.2... it's still 0.2 less.

Weight loss isn't linear. I've had weeks where I did everything 'right' and had a small gain. I've had weeks where I was sure that between not having time to exercise as much and too many times eating out where I couldn't accurately weigh/measure my food, I was going to gain, and showed a significant loss. Going by your username and pic, I'm going to assume that you're a woman. That means time-of-month and hormones will cause water retention sometimes. Knowing that it's meaningless and temporary doesn't mean it won't annoy you... but it is meaningless and it is temporary.

While losing weight, eat the foods you mean to eat when you reach your goal. Just eat smaller portions. If you hate steamed rice, boiled chicken, and kale... then don't eat them. Want to keep having desserts? Try having half the portion you normally would, or look for lower-calorie options. (I set myself a limit on home-baked desserts of 200 calories per serving. There are options like meringues, chocolate truffles, fruit-based desserts, sorbets and granitas. And sometimes? I have a 350-calorie piece of birthday cake at my nephew's party, but... well, I only have three nephews and one niece. That's not an everyday thing.) You may want to restrict foods you can't moderate to situations where you can. I'm not buying a 1-lb bag of jellybeans. I won't be able to keep out of it. But a small single-serve box? I'll buy one, log it, and keep going. I can't keep potato kugel in my fridge. I can keep myself to two pieces at the buffet table after synagogue. And there are some foods that I choose not to eat because I'd rather use the calories elsewhere. But it's not "I can't eat this." It's "With this many calories in food X, a small portion wouldn't satisfy and a big portion would take up too much of my budget. I think I'll pass."

"All" you need to lose weight is a calorie deficit. How you get there is personal. I do well with hitting the protein target MFP sets for me, hitting and sometimes exceeding carbs, and lower fat. Some people do well with low carbs and/or high fat and that's fine. Experiment to find the foods you like that keep you feeling full.

You can absolutely lose weight without exercise. But exercise can expand your calorie 'allowance'. It's great for health, and not just physical health. I have some low-level anxiety issues and I'm a stress eater. Since I started exercising, I've found that I manage stress a lot better and I have a better handle on the anxiety. Also... that time of month stuff I mentioned? Strengthening my abdominals has helped a lot with cramps. Note that MFP can sometimes overestimate calories burned from exercise, so most people eat back 50-75% of them.

If you're looking for friends, my diary is open.

Good luck and you can absolutely do this!

RedfootDaddy

I started again at 360lbs, and I totally get your frustration. I've been bouncing between 300 and 360 for my entire adult life. Some days I feel like I'm just never going to shed this weight, no matter what I do. It's just such a big number. I found a really great group of people on this site, you might find some inspiration and support where I have: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/3322-100-pounds-with-no-surgery

amtyrell

Mini goals are key for me. Forget the final goal. Focus on being happy you logged or that you did gym time. Go to the nsv (non scale victory )thread and read those . They inspire me. Focus on logging everything you eat for 1 week then 1 month ECT. Be proud of yourself for dedication for taking a walk even in the rain. For the mini goals that make the big goal a possibility. How do you climb Everest? One step at a time. Small daily or weekly mini goals

try2again

Welcome, OP

I don't know if others are like me, but often I am overwhelmed by the *idea* of doing something, only to find if I just focus on the *doing* part, it's not as bad as I imagined. Weight loss has been one of those things for me. If you've set up your profile and gotten your calorie allowance, just focus on the math and forget about how much you have to lose. If the calorie reduction is too much for you right off the bat, pursue a smaller weekly weight loss goal, or, as others have mentioned, just focus on logging at first. Learning to log consistently & accurately is an accomplishment in itself.

Don't think about the 165 goal right now. Many find their goal weight changes anyway at some point. Think about this... if you found yourself 40-50 lbs lighter next year, would you be happy about that? That's completely within your reach, even with a very modest calorie deficit. Or what if you had a bigger weekly weight loss goal and didn't hit your numbers perfectly? That scenario would still be possible. The only failure here would be in not trying at all. It's taken me 5 years to lose 75 lbs in fits & starts (currently working on the last chunk). I don't always feel up to staying in a deficit, but I never give up altogether. That's all it takes to ultimately be successful

Evamutt

I agree with you try2again, not so much with weight but other things i get overwhelmed about when I think about them. I am 42lbs lighter from a year ago but can't seem to lose anymore the last 2 months so I'm doing what you say & do my best every day.After all, time goes by no matter what you do

PaytraB

You can do this. As suggested above, mini-goals will be a help.
Focus on such goals as losing 10 lbs or weighing food & logging it for a day.

You can do this one step at a time.

OhMsDiva

I can add my two cents, I found that the most difficult part of weight loss was to get my mind right. The food was easy for me. I knew what I needed to eat and I ate it. I knew I wanted to exercise everyday and I did and still do. I did not give myself an option, because for me failure is not an option. Does that mean that I never messed up or never gained weight during the process? No, but I always knew I was going to get right back on my program. I do not look at this as one day I am going to be some specific size and then it will be over. The way I see it is that this is my new way of living. I do not have a choice. I do not want to go back where I was. It is unacceptable.
Sometimes we can get so bogged down in the details that we do nothing. My motto is just do it.

TavistockToad

Break it down... start with aiming to lose 19lbs to get under 300.

Goid luck!

MikeEsko

You got it this time! Add me and we can work at it together.

Polo265

You can do it - Baby steps, one day at a time.