I feel guilty
sarahseeto
Posts: 38 Member
Hello,
So I'm trying to lose weight, tone up and become leaner for my wedding in October. As the lady bought the wrong size. A size 6instead of a size 7
. I'm currently on 1200 calories a day. I allow myself a cheat meal once a week (I try to still stay within my calorie count though and not binge). The problem is that this weekend I binged on 5 slices of pizza, ice cream and chocolate. I probably ate maybe 2000 calories all up that day. I worked hard at the gym the next day. Today, I promised myself I would be good this week, and then I got to work as I'm a nurse and found dark chocolate lint balls on the table... I ate 4 of them! Now I'll be over my calorie count and I feel beyond guilty and horrible. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that I won't put on weight with 1500 calories and maybe a pep talk or words of encouragement. 
So I'm trying to lose weight, tone up and become leaner for my wedding in October. As the lady bought the wrong size. A size 6instead of a size 7
. I'm currently on 1200 calories a day. I allow myself a cheat meal once a week (I try to still stay within my calorie count though and not binge). The problem is that this weekend I binged on 5 slices of pizza, ice cream and chocolate. I probably ate maybe 2000 calories all up that day. I worked hard at the gym the next day. Today, I promised myself I would be good this week, and then I got to work as I'm a nurse and found dark chocolate lint balls on the table... I ate 4 of them! Now I'll be over my calorie count and I feel beyond guilty and horrible. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance that I won't put on weight with 1500 calories and maybe a pep talk or words of encouragement. 0
Replies
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I know it isn't your question but 65 calories for an apple? That must be a really mini apple. 1200 might be too restrictive if it is causing you to overeat whenever tempted. I would possibly set a more reasonable calorie goal and purchase a food scale to get your logging more accurate. Good luck. You'll probably see some water weight from the pizza too.11
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I think taking a more "honest" approach may help you. You are terrified because you don't know what you are doing and what's happening. I'd advice you to let go of the "guilt" and stop "bingeing", but I think guilt and urges to binge will dissolve along with the fear, when you know what you are doing and doing what you want.
Stop "trying" to lose weight. You lose weight when you consistently eat less than you burn. MFP tells you how many calorie to eat to lose weight in a healthy and effective way. But you have to stick to those calories to have that effect, and you need to log correctly to know if you have hit your calories or not.
So stop the cheating, and stop "being good", just eat, and log everything. Find correct entries for everything and log the exact amount you eat.
Don't try to "make up for" overeating with exercise. You can't "outrun your fork". Exercise for health and well-being.
Noone can give you enough reassurance if you don't take charge, and you don't have to confess. This is your choice. Own it.20 -
Really? When I scanned the barcode that's what it came up with? So now I'm not even calculating my calories correctly... great0
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sarahseeto wrote: »Really? When I scanned the barcode that's what it came up with? So now I'm not even calculating my calories correctly... great
Not all apples are the same size/weight, even if same general item. It is recommended you get a food scale.3 -
sarahseeto wrote: »Really? When I scanned the barcode that's what it came up with? So now I'm not even calculating my calories correctly... great
A food scale will be your best friend. Don't want to see you getting closer to the wedding and then coming back and posting you're not losing even though you're only eating xXxX calories because then it won't be the pizza it will be that your logging is off. Better to get it in check now and get the food scale and know the actual amount of calories you're eating. Pieces, cups, etc are not accurate. Grams is the way to go. Don't stress - you have time still to get a scale and make the needed adjustments. It's all good. You just started - it's a process.1 -
Honestly, if it were me, if it's possible to get a size 7 even this close to the wedding that's the route I'd go, or find a dressmaker who could alter it. I agree that you might want to think of upping your calorie allowance a bit so that you can eat more. All you need is a deficit, you don't necessarily have to go all the way down to 1200 if you don't absolutely need to. And take a moment to relax, you've still got some time.8
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MichelleSilverleaf wrote: »Honestly, if it were me, if it's possible to get a size 7 even this close to the wedding that's the route I'd go, or find a dressmaker who could alter it. I agree that you might want to think of upping your calorie allowance a bit so that you can eat more. All you need is a deficit, you don't necessarily have to go all the way down to 1200 if you don't absolutely need to. And take a moment to relax, you've still got some time.
I've lost 6kgs already and currently am a size 6. What calories should I be? And to be able to lose 2 kgs?
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sarahseeto wrote: »Really? When I scanned the barcode that's what it came up with? So now I'm not even calculating my calories correctly... great
Would be far more concerned with trying to estimate something the shape of strawberries with a cup!
Cups measure volume not weight.
You really need to strip away all the emotion from your relationship with food and dieting.
Good, bad, binge, guilt, cheat - these really have no part in what is an exercise in mathematics.
Would suggest two positive steps:- Change your language around food and dieting.
- Put in the effort to log accurately.
Take reassurance in the numbers over the course of a week rather than well meaning encouragement from strangers.
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sarahseeto wrote: »MichelleSilverleaf wrote: »Honestly, if it were me, if it's possible to get a size 7 even this close to the wedding that's the route I'd go, or find a dressmaker who could alter it. I agree that you might want to think of upping your calorie allowance a bit so that you can eat more. All you need is a deficit, you don't necessarily have to go all the way down to 1200 if you don't absolutely need to. And take a moment to relax, you've still got some time.
I've lost 6kgs already and currently am a size 6. What calories should I be? And to be able to lose 2 kgs?
Whatever MFP gives you after plugging in all your stats and how much weight you want to lose. 2kgs could be doable in a couple of months, given that it's a small amount you might have a better time setting your weekly loss to .5lbs/0.22kg a week. I wouldn't go higher than 1lb/0.4kg, that might be too aggressive. Good for you on the weight loss though, have you had a fitting since with the size 6 dress?0 -
If you have already lost 6 kg then I don't see why you feel guilty. You are eating things that you like but are higher in calories from time to time and still losing weight. That's the goal, isn't it? To lose weight without losing your mind and to discover a system that allows you to live your life and still maintain the weight you want? Don't think of your off-plan foods as cheating or binging, think of them as just food. Don't think of your higher calorie days as something guilt inducing that you need to punish yourself for, think of them as "life happens". The more stressful you make this for yourself the more likely you are to compensate or quit.10
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MichelleSilverleaf wrote: »sarahseeto wrote: »MichelleSilverleaf wrote: »Honestly, if it were me, if it's possible to get a size 7 even this close to the wedding that's the route I'd go, or find a dressmaker who could alter it. I agree that you might want to think of upping your calorie allowance a bit so that you can eat more. All you need is a deficit, you don't necessarily have to go all the way down to 1200 if you don't absolutely need to. And take a moment to relax, you've still got some time.
I've lost 6kgs already and currently am a size 6. What calories should I be? And to be able to lose 2 kgs?
Whatever MFP gives you after plugging in all your stats and how much weight you want to lose. 2kgs could be doable in a couple of months, given that it's a small amount you might have a better time setting your weekly loss to .5lbs/0.22kg a week. I wouldn't go higher than 1lb/0.4kg, that might be too aggressive. Good for you on the weight loss though, have you had a fitting since with the size 6 dress?
Thank you, no I have my next fitting on the 9th of September. The measurements she gave me I am under by an inch but I don't feel like she has given me the correct measurements... or I'm paranoid.1 -
sarahseeto wrote: »MichelleSilverleaf wrote: »sarahseeto wrote: »MichelleSilverleaf wrote: »Honestly, if it were me, if it's possible to get a size 7 even this close to the wedding that's the route I'd go, or find a dressmaker who could alter it. I agree that you might want to think of upping your calorie allowance a bit so that you can eat more. All you need is a deficit, you don't necessarily have to go all the way down to 1200 if you don't absolutely need to. And take a moment to relax, you've still got some time.
I've lost 6kgs already and currently am a size 6. What calories should I be? And to be able to lose 2 kgs?
Whatever MFP gives you after plugging in all your stats and how much weight you want to lose. 2kgs could be doable in a couple of months, given that it's a small amount you might have a better time setting your weekly loss to .5lbs/0.22kg a week. I wouldn't go higher than 1lb/0.4kg, that might be too aggressive. Good for you on the weight loss though, have you had a fitting since with the size 6 dress?
Thank you, no I have my next fitting on the 9th of September. The measurements she gave me I am under by an inch but I don't feel like she has given me the correct measurements... or I'm paranoid.
If you are under by an inch I would stop losing and maintain your weight for now. An ill fitting dress is still ill fitting, regardless if it's too big or too small. And this would help you practice maintenance for a while even if you decide to get back to losing those 2 kg after the wedding.8 -
amusedmonkey wrote: »If you have already lost 6 kg then I don't see why you feel guilty. You are eating things that you like but are higher in calories from time to time and still losing weight. That's the goal, isn't it? To lose weight without losing your mind and to discover a system that allows you to live your life and still maintain the weight you want? Don't think of your off-plan foods as cheating or binging, think of them as just food. Don't think of your higher calorie days as something guilt inducing that you need to punish yourself for, think of them as "life happens". The more stressful you make this for yourself the more likely you are to compensate or quit.
Thank you, I really needed to hear that! I think I'm just stressed and over thinking.1 -
sarahseeto wrote: »Really? When I scanned the barcode that's what it came up with? So now I'm not even calculating my calories correctly... great
Would be far more concerned with trying to estimate something the shape of strawberries with a cup!
Cups measure volume not weight.
You really need to strip away all the emotion from your relationship with food and dieting.
Good, bad, binge, guilt, cheat - these really have no part in what is an exercise in mathematics.
Would suggest two positive steps:- Change your language around food and dieting.
- Put in the effort to log accurately.
Take reassurance in the numbers over the course of a week rather than well meaning encouragement from strangers.
Took the words out of my mouth. I like your style bro.4 -
You need to get a digital food scale that weighs in grams. Weigh everything that isn't a liquid (even single serve items, prepackaged items) and use cups/spoons for liquid only (no cups/spoons for foods such as cereal, nuts, fruits, meals, etc).sarahseeto wrote: »Really? When I scanned the barcode that's what it came up with? So now I'm not even calculating my calories correctly... great
Stop calling your cheat day a cheat day. You're staying within your calories. Actually, you can eat those foods every day and still lose weight just as long as you put nutrition first
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sarahseeto wrote: »Really? When I scanned the barcode that's what it came up with? So now I'm not even calculating my calories correctly... great
Barcodes on vegetables, fruit, and meat will only get you to a very generic entry. It's not the same as scanning a very specific thing like a packaged cookie or a frozen dinner.2 -
sarahseeto wrote: »MichelleSilverleaf wrote: »sarahseeto wrote: »MichelleSilverleaf wrote: »Honestly, if it were me, if it's possible to get a size 7 even this close to the wedding that's the route I'd go, or find a dressmaker who could alter it. I agree that you might want to think of upping your calorie allowance a bit so that you can eat more. All you need is a deficit, you don't necessarily have to go all the way down to 1200 if you don't absolutely need to. And take a moment to relax, you've still got some time.
I've lost 6kgs already and currently am a size 6. What calories should I be? And to be able to lose 2 kgs?
Whatever MFP gives you after plugging in all your stats and how much weight you want to lose. 2kgs could be doable in a couple of months, given that it's a small amount you might have a better time setting your weekly loss to .5lbs/0.22kg a week. I wouldn't go higher than 1lb/0.4kg, that might be too aggressive. Good for you on the weight loss though, have you had a fitting since with the size 6 dress?
Thank you, no I have my next fitting on the 9th of September. The measurements she gave me I am under by an inch but I don't feel like she has given me the correct measurements... or I'm paranoid.
It sounds like just stress in general, made worse by all this self-shaming.
A seamstress is not going to lie to you about measurements - that's her profession. Not only that but an inch one way or the other won't affect the dress that much. There are a couple inches of give in any garment.2 -
My advice is don't restrict your diet! You want chocolate, eat the chocolate! As long as your calories in is less than your calories out you'll still lose weight!
don't stress! 3 -
Is the dress already made? You can call the dressmaker and ask her to get fabric in the same material so she can add panels if needed. Just move on and start fresh. You enjoyed the food and took part because it was there, tasted good or you just needed it at that time. The stress of fitting into the dress can do a number on anyone. Hugs1
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You have lost the weight and you are below the dress size. 1200 calories is frequently too little for people and as a nurse, I would imagine you are fairly active so I am not surprised you are having the odd binge...that is your body's way of telling you that you have dropped your intake too low. I would suggest setting to maintenance and be sure to account for how active you are as well. You really don't want to get so obsessed with this that it becomes detrimental to your health and potentially sabotages the wedding.1
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I'm guessing if you're a nurse on her feet all day you won't gain from 1500. I'm a petite food service worker and I maintain at 1900-2000 a day (I walk and stand a fair amount as well). Perhaps look at losing weight a little more slowly so you can eat a more sustainable amount everyday?2
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I'm confused. Are you saying the dressmaker ordered the dress a size too small, and instead of asking for her to send it back and replace it with the correct size, or refund you so you can go elsewhere, you've decided to resize your actual body instead? When you aren't actually overweight?
That is the strangest reaction to a supplier error I have ever heard. Honestly.
You do realise your body is a living organism, not an inconveniently-sized piece of furniture, right?15 -
^^ This. It's her fault so make her sort it!1
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I mean, if you ordered shoes and they only sent you one, would you cut off your foot?6
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CattOfTheGarage wrote: »I mean, if you ordered shoes and they only sent you one, would you cut off your foot?
Well it would possibly help with the 2kg weight loss
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Jeez don't say that... there's some easily led, desperate types on here...0
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Your calorie target isn't maintenance so you have nothing to feel guilty about. Also, overeating here and there doesn't make you gain weight...consistently eating over maintenance causes weight (fat) gain. The human body strives for homeostasis and consistently under eating or over eating is required to compromise your body's ability to maintain the status quot.0
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cerise_noir wrote: »
You need to get a digital food scale that weighs in grams. Weigh everything that isn't a liquid (even single serve items, prepackaged items) and use cups/spoons for liquid only (no cups/spoons for foods such as cereal, nuts, fruits, meals, etc).sarahseeto wrote: »Really? When I scanned the barcode that's what it came up with? So now I'm not even calculating my calories correctly... great
Stop calling your cheat day a cheat day. You're staying within your calories. Actually, you can eat those foods every day and still lose weight just as long as you put nutrition first
I was originally weighing everything with my scale but my fiancé broke it! Accidentally. I have bought a new one on eBay so when I food prep my meals this weekend it will be more accurate. But I'm still fairly sure I'm under 1300-1200 calories.CattOfTheGarage wrote: »I'm confused. Are you saying the dressmaker ordered the dress a size too small, and instead of asking for her to send it back and replace it with the correct size, or refund you so you can go elsewhere, you've decided to resize your actual body instead? When you aren't actually overweight?
That is the strangest reaction to a supplier error I have ever heard. Honestly.
You do realise your body is a living organism, not an inconveniently-sized piece of furniture, right?
I know it sounds strange but I wanted to be a size 6 anyway and I figured if I didn't complain and just tried my best to lost the weight then I would have the motivation as I would have to lose the weight! (I also didn't want to argue with the dress lady as she was trying to tel me it's the perfect size for me and was so happy about her measurements, which is why I don't trust her measurements). It's been a long and painful journey unfortunately. My sisters told me I should be on a 600 calorie diet and my other sister said 1000 but I just couldn't function on that and as a Nurse I should know better... but when your desperat, your desperate and logic and education does not prevail.0 -
600 calories???? your sister scares me. 1200 is the lowest safe level. The best way I know around all this trouble with impulsively eating things that are not on your plan is to get good recipes to make low calorie food very palatable for you. Herbs and spices that you like, roasting vegetables or grilling them to bring out flavors, and stuff like that. If your everyday low cal food is delicious there's far less temptation to splurge on something that's not part of your plan.4
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1) my seemstress told me that within 30 minutes the wedding dress streches so i would trust the measurements she gave you (she put it on me real tight, i asked her to loosen it, she told me wait a bit and by the end of my 1h session i felt great in it)
2) since you already lost about 15lbs, you are definitly a size smaller at your weight.
3) to be able not to binge like that, go to 250 calories below your sedentary maintenance and work out without eating everything back. You will tone up and lose a bit of fat AND not binge since you will restrict yourself a lot less. You will lose inches.2
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