Never thought I'd be a maintenance forum poster...

timtam163

So like most young women, sadly, I've always put myself into the "wants to lose weight" bin. But last week was so miserable that I snapped at a friend, and I just got tired of pushing myself so hard. I'm at a respectable 120 currently, and I'm working on body positivity/ acceptance.

So today I took a big step... and I set my calorie goal to maintenance (1490; you can imagine how miserable a deficit is). I'm hoping to use MFP to optimize nutrition and learn about my body before I decide to stop tracking. It's interesting for me to mess around with macros and micros.

I know I could push myself forever, but at some point I have to decide what's "good enough". I'm stepping away from the fitness blogs that emphasize physique, and from weight loss culture in general: I've tried vegan and paleo and cardio and no cardio and none of them were the silver bullet they were marketed as. And I have had it with the fat shaming on those things. I've decided to do something scary: stop restricting calories and let my body just run its course.

Did anyone else arrive here after moving on from weight loss (or gain) goals, even if you didn't reach your "goal weight"? Did you get disillusioned with bloggers and gurus peddling one-size-fits-all fitness and body-shaming? How is maintenance different for you from a deficit/surplus?

skymningen

I am more or less at my goal weight, but still unhappy with my body fat % (and I blame that to some extent on issues I developed through other peoples expectations and media). To me that means I try to eat around maintenance/very slight surplus but usually, I still end up in light deficit/maintenance on most days.
I lost weight before I joined MFP. I just... ate less. I was not happy and that was not just because of the deficit. Basically, I am a "stress-faster". I lose my appetite when I am emotionally stressed. And when I actually wanted to lose weight I started out being stressed. I got better, but then subconsciously stressed myself out because it made it easier for me to eat less. Basically, I made myself miserable so I would stay in a deficit which made myself more miserable.
I lost weight this way, no doubt, but I went through a hard time and I hope I never do it again.
Now I try to focus more on being happy (no calory counting during the BBQ, chose whatever I want when going for lunch in the pub with friends today) and healthy (going to the gym, trying to balance my macros).
I still struggle (with the body fat/muscle mass ratio, with trying to neither gain much weight, but also not lose more as I am around 3-4 lbs from underweight now, with measurements seemingly not changing at all, neither muscle getting bigger nor left over fat finally leaving me). But then life happens. My boyfriend is so proud of me everytime I tell him I was at the gym and increased my weights. An old friend who had a baby and we lost contact for a while told me she was wondering for a second before recognizing me who the "pretty lady" was when first spotting me on mentioned BBQ and how she thought I was "glowing". A friend who has been traveling for a while being so happy he now has someone to talk about weight training now after he came back recently. All those people keep me going. And if I am down and overdoing me, my boyfriend tells me "Don't stress. You are allowed to have ice cream or a glass of wine or skip the gym because you have a bad day, whatever you like. If you disallow this to yourself I allow it "back" to you, and then you can have it for me."
Also, I weeded out the "gurus". I only read/watch/listen people with reasonable expectations and goals now. People who know about all of the ups and downs of life. It took a while, but I was able to find the ones I can identify with. And I don't have to follow every single advice they have, I pick what suits me (all of the ones that stayed actually promote exactly this).

Maintenance (and recomp) is a different struggle. For me kind of a more complicated one, but I am getting into it.

middlehaitch

Congratulations, you have made a well thought out decision.

Reaching an arbitrary goal weight is not the important thing; reaching a weight that you are comfortable with and gives you enough calories to enjoy your food, life, friends is.

I've never paid any attention to all those online guru types, and I am glad you have decided to abandon them.

Find activities that you like, same with food. Spend some time establishing your maintenance calories with a macro split that suits you.

If you decide at some point in time you want to lose a few more pounds, you can, and will probably be a lot happier doing it as you will have established your own style of eating.

Cheers, h.

skymningen

I actually just caved in and reduced my goal amount of calories to the number MFP gives me for maintenance. It was 100 cals higher because I felt that my lifestyle without a car is not sedentary, but also not "lightly active" enough. I hope this helps me with actually losing some more body fat, but still not losing that much weight (if at all). It's all a balance. And I am having a bad day at it anyway.

noirelb

have you considered doing something else than cardio to be able to eat more or is that not one of your interests? I've been at maintenance before but had a baby and gained too much weight so losing it now.

need2belean

timtam163 wrote: »

So like most young women, sadly, I've always put myself into the "wants to lose weight" bin. But last week was so miserable that I snapped at a friend, and I just got tired of pushing myself so hard. I'm at a respectable 120 currently, and I'm working on body positivity/ acceptance.

So today I took a big step... and I set my calorie goal to maintenance (1490; you can imagine how miserable a deficit is). I'm hoping to use MFP to optimize nutrition and learn about my body before I decide to stop tracking. It's interesting for me to mess around with macros and micros.

I know I could push myself forever, but at some point I have to decide what's "good enough". I'm stepping away from the fitness blogs that emphasize physique, and from weight loss culture in general: I've tried vegan and paleo and cardio and no cardio and none of them were the silver bullet they were marketed as. And I have had it with the fat shaming on those things. I've decided to do something scary: stop restricting calories and let my body just run its course.

Did anyone else arrive here after moving on from weight loss (or gain) goals, even if you didn't reach your "goal weight"? Did you get disillusioned with bloggers and gurus peddling one-size-fits-all fitness and body-shaming? How is maintenance different for you from a deficit/surplus?

I didn't hit my "goal weight" but I switched to maintenance because I was getting super exhausted in the gym. I had been in a deficit for 6 months and I wasn't gaining any more strength and started to resent everything. SO, I went into a reverse diet and I'm now eating at maintenance. I only reverse dieted for about 3.5 weeks before now where I'm at 2200 calories. I'm messing around with the macros for these maintenance calories but so far, I've hit a PR on every single exercise in the gym and haven't gained or lost any weight and I'm super happy about that. In about a month, I'll start cutting again to lose some more stubborn fat (mostly around my legs/*kitten*) and then maybe I'll get down to that original goal weight, but weight is not really the the big picture anymore. It's all about how I feel and look. PS, I'm 6'0" and currently around 172lbs. Lowest was 168.5 and heaviest was 192ish. Good luck. Eating more is awesome!

cmriverside

I hit goal weight, but I had a goal that was reasonable. I'm not trying to be 18.0 on the BMI thing. I don't get my body fat tested, I don't restrict overly.

With that said, the first time I tried not logging food I gained 20 pounds. So I know that doesn't work. for me at least.

I don't spend time looking at other people and comparing, and I don't spend time on other sites that talk about weight or physique. I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me.

cmriverside

lol. Someone "woo"ed that? Alrighty then.

need2belean

cmriverside wrote: »

lol. Someone "woo"ed that? Alrighty then.

I wanted to "woo" it as I've never "woo'd" a person on the forums. I just liked your "i'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me" comment.

timtam163

need2belean wrote: »

cmriverside wrote: »

lol. Someone "woo"ed that? Alrighty then.

I wanted to "woo" it as I've never "woo'd" a person on the forums. I just liked your "i'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me" comment.

Lol... I think of "woo" as a cheer but many people take it as a flag for bunk science, short for "woo woo". I'm surprised by the latter usage.

noirelb wrote: »

have you considered doing something else than cardio to be able to eat more or is that not one of your interests? I've been at maintenance before but had a baby and gained too much weight so losing it now.

I do lift and climb a few times a week, but my job is sedentary and my commute is comically short. I actually do great on maintenance, I just do terribly when I cut 1/3 of my calories to try to lose weight.

cmriverside

need2belean wrote: »

cmriverside wrote: »

lol. Someone "woo"ed that? Alrighty then.

I wanted to "woo" it as I've never "woo'd" a person on the forums. I just liked your "i'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me" comment.

Well, thank you then. :flowerforyou:

noirelb

timtam163 wrote: »

need2belean wrote: »

cmriverside wrote: »

lol. Someone "woo"ed that? Alrighty then.

I wanted to "woo" it as I've never "woo'd" a person on the forums. I just liked your "i'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me" comment.

Lol... I think of "woo" as a cheer but many people take it as a flag for bunk science, short for "woo woo". I'm surprised by the latter usage.

noirelb wrote: »

have you considered doing something else than cardio to be able to eat more or is that not one of your interests? I've been at maintenance before but had a baby and gained too much weight so losing it now.

I do lift and climb a few times a week, but my job is sedentary and my commute is comically short. I actually do great on maintenance, I just do terribly when I cut 1/3 of my calories to try to lose weight.

Ohh I see! Well, congrats on your loss and I hope you strive at maintenance. My goal is actually higher than BMI because my healthy BMI makes me very thin and I have to eat so little and work out so much. Sometimes goals are a little to strong and I'm 110% sure you are healthy where you are now and hope you learn to love yourself more and more everyday and love maintenance!

Unknown

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geltner2

What does "recomp" mean?

need2belean

geltner2 wrote: »

What does "recomp" mean?

recomp refers to recomposition. It's the idea of adding muscle while eliminating fat by eating at maintenance and having a good lifting program. It's a slower process then bulking and cutting.

ahoy_m8

It sounds like a really sound decision, OP! Lots of long time maintainers on MFP transitioned to maintenance short of what they thought was their goal. Some took several "maintenance breaks" (lasting several months) before deciding to go back in a deficit again to lose a few more. Some transitioned to GW maintenance to lose the last few reeeaaalllly slowly. There are many paths to success. It sounds like you could use a break, not only with respect to calorie deficits but also with respect to reframing what your goals are for you.

Just to respond to your last question about how maintenance is different... I lose at 0.5#/week or a 250 kcal daily deficit, so cutting & maintaining are very, very similar to me.

ALG775

Hi OP,

When I started this journey , I was very skeptical that I could lose weight. I was 250 (at 6 1). My initial goal was 230. When I kept losing, I adjusted my weight down and down. I decided to go for 185-which is just within the "normal" body weight.

Once I got to about 195, I stopped losing. I thought about lowering my calories (I lost on gross 1900-2000 per day. Usually 1650-1800 net. ). But I realized that I didn't think it would be sustainable.

As @middlehaitch says, a good weight is a weight that you can be happy with and can sustain.