People NOT commenting on your progress? :(
Replies
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I so understand how you feel. Last year I lost 25 lbs. NOBODY said anything. I hardly didn't even hear anything from my husband unless I said something. I got so discouraged I gave up because I felt like it didn't matter. But I know no that was the wrong reason to be trying to lose weight anyway, its just a nice bonus. I think people have different reasons for not saying anything but it sure is nice when they do say something. I try to remember that when I see someone who I think has lost a little weight. Tell them they look good. Just remember your not in this alone:happy:0
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Not snarky. Didn't you see the funny gifs? But yeah you did piss me off not once but twice, so it's fun to swat at you now and then (like a mosquito). You leave yourself wide open. And I don't work, yet I post way less than you. ;-) (that's a little winky so don't get your undies in a wad. Yuck I don't ever want to think of your undies again especially that close to the word wad :noway: ).
Twice?! Wow, must have been pretty hurtful for you to remember it when I don't. And I post so often because I have no social life outside of work, which I am sure you're alluding to in an attempt to shame me, but it is what it is. But feel free to swat away. I am also bald and fat, if that makes it easier for you.
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Ok, now seriously. Fifteen pounds over the course of two years is pretty gradual loss. Assuming you're not naked in front of your friends, it's probably not noticeable to them at all. And on the flip side, they probably didn't notice when you gained that weight, either.
They didn't notice weight loss or gain NOT because they're self-absorbed or catty or any of that... it's because they don't scrutinize your body.
Before her wedding, my niece went from a size 12 to a size 4 and had to order a new dress. Until I heard about the dress, and saw her in a cute little minidress at her bridal shower, I didn't notice she'd lost weight. Every time I saw her, she was fully dressed, usually in a baggy sweatshirt and jeans. And every time I saw her, I just saw a beautiful young woman, no matter what size she was.
This is very true. Probably should clarify in my original post that while this has been a 2 year journey, I've actually lose the weight over the past couple months.
(2 year journey in that... I gained the weight... started to try to lose it, would lose a little then regain, lose then gain, etc. etc.... and now I'm finally keeping it off)
In the grand scheme of things, 15 lbs is not a TON of weight. Yes, its a huge feat for me.. but its not like I've lost a whole "me" (as some people here have)!0 -
I didn't read th e whole post START BRAGGING0
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I do bragging post s like once a week on all my progress
ive lost 35 pounds, 4 inches of stomach, over 10 percent of body weight, ill be out of obesity Monday, ill be at my goal weight in 20 pounds
just like that post like that0 -
I feel the same way.... I WANT people to notice I've lost weight, but they're just NOT..... oh well, I can AND I feel better.0
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I've seen the reverse of this be decried in the forums here many times...
...so perhaps people are just reluctant to stick their neck out and comment about your weight.
Probably related to my "if I don't see an actual baby body part, I won't acknowledge that she might be pregnant" rule...
...because sometimes the answer is that she isn't.
My husband actually mentioned the same thing. He said that he isn't the type to comment on other's weight... guys or girls. At least not to their face. He said that even if someone does look great, unless they mention it outright that they've been working on it, etc., he's not going to bring it up because what if he says "hey you look like you've really bulked up..." but the goal for that person wasn't bulking?
So it makes sense.
I just have the personality where I feel people out and if I have an idea that they've been working toward some goal, I like to make sure they know they're doing great.. feell good about it.. etc. 0 -
Let me ask you this. Who are you losing the weight for? If it is for yourself then as long as you are putting in the effort and noticing the results then that is all that matters. If you are doing it to gain others approval you then you are in a world of disappointment. Just saying....
Agree with you (and a few others on this). What matters is WHO I'm losing the weight for... and I already know that its for me.
Realistically speaking, I could go about my merry way and never have anyone comment and as long as I've reached my goal I'm happy.. especially since I have a supportive husband. However I guess I just wanted to hear some insight on how others have handled this.
Even though the weight loss is for me and only me, it's still good to hear from others occassionally- especially people you see every so often.
Note that something I've worked on mentally/emotionally over the past 2 years in conjunction with trying to finally reach a point of sustaining weight loss is trying to get away from caring what others thing of me... and sounds like this post I've created has gone against that...
Work in Progress. 0 -
Yeah don't worry what other people think. 15 lbs is an awesome accomplishment. Sometimes it's hard for people to see it. Plus you have the few people that get jealous cuz you worked hard and they can't do it. I have workout buddies that keep me motivated since they know it takes a lot work and dedication. I have the others that tell me what to do since they are skinnier, but I am physically more active then them. Also have a few friends that their friends lost a lot. They look amazing super fit and now they are too skinny in others eyes. Can't win with people, but you can get the support here! Great job. I am 5'6" and have 50 lbs to go. Can't wait to show off my hard work.0
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I couldn't care less if anybody notices. I'm doing it for me.0
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Some people don't like to comment as it can be taken as an offence. For instance: 'Wow, you look fantastic, you've lost so much weight!' 'Great, so I looked like s*** and was fat before? Thanks a lot!'
A family friend came over last year to bring me some stuff in an emergency (I had a horrible tummy bug and couldn't go out). I had also just lost about 8kg in the previous few weeks. When my sister mentioned my weight loss to her some weeks later, she said she noticed but didn't think it appropriate to comment seeing as I was so ill and perhaps the weight loss was due to this and not hard work.
I know you said your friend knows your struggles and has heard about it, but there's a good chance that she either doesn't want to make comment for fear of you taking it the wrong way, as per the first example. Or perhaps she just thinks you're fabulous in general and doesn't care what you look like?0 -
Congratulations on your progress; sorry that your friend is not supportive of your efforts. Hopefully you're doing this for you despite what others may or may not say.
Stay inspired.
Thank you. Most certainly for me despite others noticing or not. :flowerforyou:0 -
Four years ago I decided that I was tried of squeezing into a 18w. I weighed 199 pounds. When I started dieting I told everyone. I wanted and needed them to help me. You know the whole village thing. I made announcements regularly. I wore baggy pants until someone comment on how big they were. That was my cue to get new ones. I never got my feelings hurt waiting for a compliment, because they all know about my progress.0
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Congratulations to you!
I just want to throw my hat into the ring of people who generally don't comment on the weight loss of others. Because weight is not always something we control or consciously choose to change, it seems like it can fall into a really weird area. I compliment people a lot on hair, clothes, etc. because those are clearly things they intentionally chose as a way to project their identity and personality. Weight can be an intentional decision, but it often isn't, and unless I know for sure, I usually avoid that in place of compliments that reflect someone's choices.
I also feel a bit peculiar with someone comments on my weight loss. Obviously my weight is not completely private--people can see what I weigh, and sometimes people compliment me on losing it. But I guess I'm one of those people who does hear the unspoken other side. "Wow, you've lost a lot of weight, you look great," really does suggest that I didn't look as good before, and that just feels odd to hear.
Now it's totally different if it's someone who knows I'm putting a lot of effort into it. I have a coworker that I see at my work gym all the time, and she tells me I'm doing great and it feels genuine--she sees the work! But when it's someone who doesn't know what I'm doing or why, I'm flattered but a bit weirded out at the same time.0 -
Not snarky. Didn't you see the funny gifs? But yeah you did piss me off not once but twice, so it's fun to swat at you now and then (like a mosquito). You leave yourself wide open. And I don't work, yet I post way less than you. ;-) (that's a little winky so don't get your undies in a wad. Yuck I don't ever want to think of your undies again especially that close to the word wad :noway: ).
Twice?! Wow, must have been pretty hurtful for you to remember it when I don't. And I post so often because I have no social life outside of work, which I am sure you're alluding to in an attempt to shame me, but it is what it is. But feel free to swat away. I am also bald and fat, if that makes it easier for you.
Look whierd, you're a lonely guy. Got it. I don't happen to like the way you talk to some women here. That's all. Don't make more of it than it needs to be. I get that you have to do that, but don't flatter yourself. I'm just giving you back what you've given to some newbies around here. if you think it feels crappy, maybe you might want to rethink some of your posts. I don't care if you're 'fat & bald." Why would anyone care about that?
I think we're done here. No need to derail the OP's thread anymore than it's been derailed (my fault on that). Have a great night. :flowerforyou:
(edit to fix the damn quote box. Hate that! lol)0 -
Not snarky. Didn't you see the funny gifs? But yeah you did piss me off not once but twice, so it's fun to swat at you now and then (like a mosquito). You leave yourself wide open. And I don't work, yet I post way less than you. ;-) (that's a little winky so don't get your undies in a wad. Yuck I don't ever want to think of your undies again especially that close to the word wad :noway: ).
Twice?! Wow, must have been pretty hurtful for you to remember it when I don't. And I post so often because I have no social life outside of work, which I am sure you're alluding to in an attempt to shame me, but it is what it is. But feel free to swat away. I am also bald and fat, if that makes it easier for you.
Look whierd, you're a lonely guy. Got it. I don't happen to like the way you talk to some women here. That's all. Don't make more of it than it needs to be. I get that you have to do that, but don't flatter yourself. I'm just giving you back what you've given to some newbies around here. if you think it feels crappy, maybe you might want to rethink some of your posts. I don't care if you're 'fat & bald." Why would anyone care about that?
I think we're done here. No need to derail the OP's thread anymore than it's been derailed (my fault on that). Have a great night. :flowerforyou:
(edit to fix the damn quote box. Hate that! lol)
What exactly have I given to newbies around here? And talked to women in what way? Feel free to PM examples if you want to avoid further derailment.0 -
Not snarky. Didn't you see the funny gifs? But yeah you did piss me off not once but twice, so it's fun to swat at you now and then (like a mosquito). You leave yourself wide open. And I don't work, yet I post way less than you. ;-) (that's a little winky so don't get your undies in a wad. Yuck I don't ever want to think of your undies again especially that close to the word wad :noway: ).
Twice?! Wow, must have been pretty hurtful for you to remember it when I don't. And I post so often because I have no social life outside of work, which I am sure you're alluding to in an attempt to shame me, but it is what it is. But feel free to swat away. I am also bald and fat, if that makes it easier for you.
Look whierd, you're a lonely guy. Got it. I don't happen to like the way you talk to some women here. That's all. Don't make more of it than it needs to be. I get that you have to do that, but don't flatter yourself. I'm just giving you back what you've given to some newbies around here. if you think it feels crappy, maybe you might want to rethink some of your posts. I don't care if you're 'fat & bald." Why would anyone care about that?
I think we're done here. No need to derail the OP's thread anymore than it's been derailed (my fault on that). Have a great night. :flowerforyou:
(edit to fix the damn quote box. Hate that! lol)
What exactly have I given to newbies around here? And talked to women in what way? Feel free to PM examples if you want to avoid further derailment.
Yeah I do want to avoid more derailment. I have about 10 minutes here. Not sure I feel like whispering with you, but I guess I did start this ...0 -
Not snarky. Didn't you see the funny gifs? But yeah you did piss me off not once but twice, so it's fun to swat at you now and then (like a mosquito). You leave yourself wide open. And I don't work, yet I post way less than you. ;-) (that's a little winky so don't get your undies in a wad. Yuck I don't ever want to think of your undies again especially that close to the word wad :noway: ).
Twice?! Wow, must have been pretty hurtful for you to remember it when I don't. And I post so often because I have no social life outside of work, which I am sure you're alluding to in an attempt to shame me, but it is what it is. But feel free to swat away. I am also bald and fat, if that makes it easier for you.
Look whierd, you're a lonely guy. Got it. I don't happen to like the way you talk to some women here. That's all. Don't make more of it than it needs to be. I get that you have to do that, but don't flatter yourself. I'm just giving you back what you've given to some newbies around here. if you think it feels crappy, maybe you might want to rethink some of your posts. I don't care if you're 'fat & bald." Why would anyone care about that?
I think we're done here. No need to derail the OP's thread anymore than it's been derailed (my fault on that). Have a great night. :flowerforyou:
(edit to fix the damn quote box. Hate that! lol)
Hello there love. I don't mean to pry but... is everything OK at home? I am really getting worried at you holding in a grudge over somebody you know only from the internet. I know people who do such things and frankly, its hurtful to read about them in the newspaper.
Feel free to talk to somebody, me included if you want to. I am always here to listen. Talk to me please because you're worrying me.
Hope everything turns out ok with you
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Not snarky. Didn't you see the funny gifs? But yeah you did piss me off not once but twice, so it's fun to swat at you now and then (like a mosquito). You leave yourself wide open. And I don't work, yet I post way less than you. ;-) (that's a little winky so don't get your undies in a wad. Yuck I don't ever want to think of your undies again especially that close to the word wad :noway: ).
Twice?! Wow, must have been pretty hurtful for you to remember it when I don't. And I post so often because I have no social life outside of work, which I am sure you're alluding to in an attempt to shame me, but it is what it is. But feel free to swat away. I am also bald and fat, if that makes it easier for you.
Look whierd, you're a lonely guy. Got it. I don't happen to like the way you talk to some women here. That's all. Don't make more of it than it needs to be. I get that you have to do that, but don't flatter yourself. I'm just giving you back what you've given to some newbies around here. if you think it feels crappy, maybe you might want to rethink some of your posts. I don't care if you're 'fat & bald." Why would anyone care about that?
I think we're done here. No need to derail the OP's thread anymore than it's been derailed (my fault on that). Have a great night. :flowerforyou:
(edit to fix the damn quote box. Hate that! lol)
What exactly have I given to newbies around here? And talked to women in what way? Feel free to PM examples if you want to avoid further derailment.
Yeah I do want to avoid more derailment. I have about 10 minutes here. Not sure I feel like whispering with you, but I guess I did start this ...
you sure are pleasant.
criticize someone for they way they write to people.
Insult person SEVERAL times.
guess that means you dont write nice things to people.0 -
I will say some woman (and not all woman are catty) will not comment on someone's weight loss, even their "so called" friends out of jealousy. Yes, the BIG MEAN GREEN, it's usually the culprit...I say toss the friend, she's not a true friend. And know that you are successful and try not to "need" affirmations from others. Its what you think that counts, not others.
Edit: Once a "friend" (and I think she was well meaning or meant to be) saw me after I lost 35 lbs. Now for some folks 35 lbs isn't that much, but I am only 5'2" and I lost 6 pant sizes (= 7" in my hips, probably close to that in my waist and something close in my thighs; I lost a little boobage but not much). Anyway, I looked VERY healthy, not gaunt, not sickly and she says, "You look like you lost a lot of weight, did you mean to do that? Are you sick?" Uh, NO I'm not sick, I am not gaunt, sickly looking, etc I'm just no longer over weight. So she commented on my weight loss but it was frankly quite offensive.
Take 2: I have another friend who has always been pretty over weight (60 lbs or more); since HS and > DD size. At the age of 42 she was put on a lot of medication for diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, you name it and she said, the H311 with this and started eating lots of fruits, veggies and dropped the weight. She's now a size C cup size and she's happy about that and a size 2 or 4 pant size and what do people say? Are you DYING? Do you have CANCER? NO! I just started eating right and exercising....I'm just NO LONGER OVERWEIGHT! DUH!!!
So....sometimes comments aren't always the best. And I think some of the comments to my friend (she LOOKS FABULOUS too!) were catty and jealous! She in no way looks ill. She looks more healthy then she did in high school. She even got a new hair style to go with her new sexy look! That really wigged people out! :bigsmile: 0 -
It may well be that your weight loss is not yet noticeable to most people....at least not enough for them to risk a comment. Take is take it as a complement to your clothing choice and style! I have often in my life had the opposite issue: a friend I haven't seen in a while will compliment me on my weight loss when I know I haven't lost any weight. That leads me to question, "How bad did I look the last she saw me??".
Just be happy in the change in your scales and all your NSVs and know you are healthier and hopefully happier person whether or not anyone else notices!0 -
Op, in my experience many people think it is rude to comment on other people's weight. I met someone once who I hadn't seen for a few years, and I had gone from 175 to 140 at 5'7". She was very uncomfortable to say anything to me so out of the blue I said " I've lost about thirty pounds". And she said " Thankyou". She didn't want to point it out in case I was uncomfortable. I will not mention if I think someone has lost weight unless I am certain they want to hear it, just like I wouldn't say if I think someone has gained weight. I think it is none of my business and rude. Talking about rude, I'm sorry there are rude critical people like that sunglasses woman who created some other issue:flowerforyou:
Do this for YOU! Intrinsic motivation is the best kind!!:)0 -
Things get lost in my newsfeed. I don't have time to rifle through all that noise.
Dude you post random things in every thread. Every freaking thread. And you change your pic more often then most change their underwear. No time?
Exactly. How am I supposed to continue posting in the forums and changing my picture if I have to dig through my newsfeed several times per day to go post "good job" on everyone's status updates?
Whierd, I think she was talking about offline. You know that place?
The place where you go to work? Yeah, I visit that place. Don't like it.
And my my, you sure are snarky. Did I do something to get your panties in a bunch in the past? :huh:
Not snarky. Didn't you see the funny gifs? But yeah you did piss me off not once but twice, so it's fun to swat at you now and then (like a mosquito). You leave yourself wide open. And I don't work, yet I post way less than you. ;-) (that's a little winky so don't get your undies in a wad. Yuck I don't ever want to think of your undies again especially that close to the word wad :noway: ).
anyone else find it a bit odd that she's telling Whierd not to get his undies in a twist yet she is the one that admits some stranger posting on the internet has made her angry and now is proceeding to try to shame him?0 -
Not snarky. Didn't you see the funny gifs? But yeah you did piss me off not once but twice, so it's fun to swat at you now and then (like a mosquito). You leave yourself wide open. And I don't work, yet I post way less than you. ;-) (that's a little winky so don't get your undies in a wad. Yuck I don't ever want to think of your undies again especially that close to the word wad :noway: ).
Twice?! Wow, must have been pretty hurtful for you to remember it when I don't. And I post so often because I have no social life outside of work, which I am sure you're alluding to in an attempt to shame me, but it is what it is. But feel free to swat away. I am also bald and fat, if that makes it easier for you.
Look whierd, you're a lonely guy. Got it. I don't happen to like the way you talk to some women here. That's all. Don't make more of it than it needs to be. I get that you have to do that, but don't flatter yourself. I'm just giving you back what you've given to some newbies around here. if you think it feels crappy, maybe you might want to rethink some of your posts. I don't care if you're 'fat & bald." Why would anyone care about that?
I think we're done here. No need to derail the OP's thread anymore than it's been derailed (my fault on that). Have a great night. :flowerforyou:
(edit to fix the damn quote box. Hate that! lol)
What exactly have I given to newbies around here? And talked to women in what way? Feel free to PM examples if you want to avoid further derailment.
Yeah I do want to avoid more derailment. I have about 10 minutes here. Not sure I feel like whispering with you, but I guess I did start this ...
I promise to keep my cooties to myself.0 -
Things get lost in my newsfeed. I don't have time to rifle through all that noise.
Dude you post random things in every thread. Every freaking thread. And you change your pic more often then most change their underwear. No time?
Exactly. How am I supposed to continue posting in the forums and changing my picture if I have to dig through my newsfeed several times per day to go post "good job" on everyone's status updates?
Whierd, I think she was talking about offline. You know that place?
The place where you go to work? Yeah, I visit that place. Don't like it.
And my my, you sure are snarky. Did I do something to get your panties in a bunch in the past? :huh:
Not snarky. Didn't you see the funny gifs? But yeah you did piss me off not once but twice, so it's fun to swat at you now and then (like a mosquito). You leave yourself wide open. And I don't work, yet I post way less than you. ;-) (that's a little winky so don't get your undies in a wad. Yuck I don't ever want to think of your undies again especially that close to the word wad :noway: ).
anyone else find it a bit odd that she's telling Whierd not to get his undies in a twist yet she is the one that admits some stranger posting on the internet has made her angry and now is proceeding to try to shame him?
Not me.
MFP has completely desensitized me to blatant hypocrisy and irony...
...to the point that I don't even notice it.0 -
I'm another one that doesn't comment on people's weight.
If a friend has, I'll just say "Hey, you look GREAT!" We both know what I'm saying, but as someone who's been on the receiving end of "Have you lost weight?" for me, there can be a momentary snag of "They must have thought I was a cow" that dampens the compliment. I'll admit that's my own insecurity, but it does impact what I say to others.
BUT. Congrats on your loss! :flowerforyou:0 -
I'm another one that doesn't comment on people's weight.
If a friend has, I'll just say "Hey, you look GREAT!" We both know what I'm saying, but as someone who's been on the receiving end of "Have you lost weight?" for me, there can be a momentary snag of "They must have thought I was a cow" that dampens the compliment. I'll admit that's my own insecurity, but it does impact what I say to others.
BUT. Congrats on your loss! :flowerforyou:
agreed. I'm still ashamed I let myself get so bad so I'd rather no one say anything at all when they see me...lol. But as for others, I don't want to say anything in case it is a sensitive subject like it is for me. I'll say something if they drop not so subtle hints as a green light but otherwise, I keep my comments generic..i.e. - You look extra pretty today etc...versus..Wow, did you lose weight?0 -
Yes that happened to me too. Had lost 45 pounds and my sister did not mention my weight loss once. Not once. 45 pounds c'mon now. I arrived to a BBQ at her house and her husbands brother drops what he is doing and is the loudest tone ever says where is your other half?? To which I reply he is in work. I thought he was talking about my boyfriend. He starts laughing and says no the other half of you:laugh: goes on about how much weight I have lost and says to my sister eh why haven't you told me about this.. Can you not notice how much weight she has lost and she just shrugged. I like to think its because she is my sister and doesn't notice when I gain or lose but I know she very much does. She has no plans of giving up the title of the skinny sister. Lol.
Don't worry just keep going with the support of your husband and soon people will have to say something 0 -
I lolled at this I think someone is trying to attract whierds attention by pulling his pigtails if ya see what i mean if he wasn't bald that is! But who doesn't love whierd?Things get lost in my newsfeed. I don't have time to rifle through all that noise.
Dude you post random things in every thread. Every freaking thread. And you change your pic more often then most change their underwear. No time?
Exactly. How am I supposed to continue posting in the forums and changing my picture if I have to dig through my newsfeed several times per day to go post "good job" on everyone's status updates?
Whierd, I think she was talking about offline. You know that place?
The place where you go to work? Yeah, I visit that place. Don't like it.
And my my, you sure are snarky. Did I do something to get your panties in a bunch in the past? :huh:
Not snarky. Didn't you see the funny gifs? But yeah you did piss me off not once but twice, so it's fun to swat at you now and then (like a mosquito). You leave yourself wide open. And I don't work, yet I post way less than you. ;-) (that's a little winky so don't get your undies in a wad. Yuck I don't ever want to think of your undies again especially that close to the word wad :noway: ).
anyone else find it a bit odd that she's telling Whierd not to get his undies in a twist yet she is the one that admits some stranger posting on the internet has made her angry and now is proceeding to try to shame him?
Not me.
MFP has completely desensitized me to blatant hypocrisy and irony...
...to the point that I don't even notice it.0 -
Hi there -
If you mention to your friend that your lost some weight or accomplished something, of course they should congratulate and support you. But I wonder if other people actually haven't noticed. While losing 15 pounds is awesome(!), you mentioned that it's been a two-year process. People who see you everyday or often may not notice the subtle changes that have happened along the way. Have you run into people who haven't seen you in a long time? They would probably notice and may or may not say anything. (Sometimes I wouldn't, other than the usual "oh, you look great" just case the person has been sick or they're uncomfortable with people commenting on their weight.)
Same here. I have one coworker who notices if you lose a pound. Me personally - I'd be scared to say anything other than a vague "you look great today!" because I'm never 100% sure about the weight loss and never sure it's something they want to hear. You know - the old "so if I look thin now, you're saying I looked fat before?" Even if they don't say it, I worry that people will have some internal worry that's what I was implying, so I generally wouldn't comment on weight loss unless it's something that they brought up first.0
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