Frustrated... (a rant about those who try to sabotage you)

AutismMom

SO experiencing this as well!!! It is like, some people in our family just can not be happy for us, mainly because they are struggling so much, but will not do anything about it.. where we are! When we see my inlaws, they are buying timbits for our children, sending them home with us.. and I am sorry, but if I have it in the house, I will eat them. I know I will.. so when they give us the timbits, I throw them out.,.which is such a waste.. but we really can't have that sutff in our home.

When you try and tell them that = fight.

Just try to stay positive!!!

kmulhollen

I hear you for sure. My sister and mother are in total crisis cause I'm watching my calories. It's like the law of gravity has been blown for them! I think (since I'm the youngest in my generation of 6 siblings) that I am the "last hope" and if I'm watching calories, they're beyond help. After I told my sister yesterday, she proceeded to cook peppers and onions in a half stick of butter! Oh well... I proceeded not to eat them!

My advice with your fiance is to first talk about what you are doing. He probably has no idea that going out to eat is not in your "new" game plan. Besides, guys sometimes see these changes as something else - she doesn't want to go out to eat = she's got a new social agenda that doesn't include me.

Good luck!

dgsland50

Focus on the reason you wanted to get rid of the extra pounds. In some cases you may just need to find other things to occupy your time so you eat in peace instead of hanging around these people. If they were not threatened by your new lifestyle choices, they would be supportive of your efforts. You are taking charge of your life and these people don't want to feel guilty nor do they want to look bad while standing next to you when you achieve your goals.

In my case the motivation is simple. My Dr. just flat our told me, "Lose the weight, or Die". Losing the weight seemed like the more reasonable alternative.

I am reminded of a conversation I overheard once where two people were having a difference of opinion on the ideas they had about the best ways to be more profitable in their company. The person who was most confident about his position and knew exactly what he wanted to accomplish told the other person.

"You can move me to your way of thinking, I can move you to my way of thinking, or we can part company. You should know now that I can't afford for you to move me."

Don't let these people bring you down to their comfort level. Love them, encourage them, pray for them and stay on the path. Who knows, maybe you will become the spark that ignites them to take control over their own heath issues.

❤B☩❤

Hi! I'm not sure if you've heard of Chalene Johnson (TurboJam, etc....) Anyway, today she posted a blog about pretty much the same thing. Take a look: http://ht.ly/1Z59o I think you will find some answers there, as well as tons of support here with all of us on MFP! Good luck in your weight loss journey and stay true to yourself! *hugs!*

melbhall

I know how you feel! I talked to a friend once about trying to be healthier and this site, she then told me I was doing it all wrong and eating too few calories....this all as she stuffed her face with peanut m&ms! I've finally learned that I have my MFP life and my real life. On MFP I can say how I feel and get support. In real life I have to be sneaky with weight loss and health or I find people try to bring me down because they so badly want to have the will power to do it but don't. It's especially hard when your loved one is part of the problem. Just let you fiance know that you are really serious about making the change and if he doesn't harp on you about your food choices you won't harp on him. Maybe you can prepare your meal at home and if he still wants to eat out tonight he can get it to go!

Learning2LoveMe

Wow... thanks for all the support! You guys are amazing! I feel better now. Just hearing your stories, words of wisdom, and encouragement makes me feel stronger.

As a doormat, it's VERY hard for me to say no. Problem is, everyone knows I'm a doormat so after I say no they keep asking because I used to say no and then after they ask 1-2 more times I'd give in and eat bad food, etc. Its so hard for me to stick to my "no", but I've been doing pretty good so far.

I know they all understand my fight. I had lost 25 pounds last year and after getting an injury that put me out of commission for 3 weeks I fell off the wagon and gained back 30 pounds. This week I said I've had enough and dusted myself off and taking the big jump back onto that wagon and holding on for good this time! hehe

kspirig

I'm a huge fan of cooking and I love finding new healthier meals. I've found then when I leave myself some left-overs from the night before and bring them to work, then my co-workers are often jealous of my meals! My boyfriend also likes it because I'm making new things for him that he's liking so he's getting in on the healthy bandwagon as well. Diets dont' have to be "rabbit" food all the time. I often make things out of diet cook books (like the "Looney Spoons" collection) that are delicious and make everyone else envious of me rather than the other way around.

I've also found that invititing his non-healthy parents over for dinner at our place rather than us going there works as well. I've exposed them to lots of other healthy foods that they didn't even know they liked! It makes it easier when you are the one in charge and not letting other people bring you down. Invite people to your place, share your healthy snacks - that's my best advice.

emmylou13

my BF orders pizza 2 - 3x per week, has icecream for a snack every night etc. etc.... mind you he is a builder... so he is super fit and can afford the calories.... miss desk job (me) can't eat like that... but he always brings me a slice or a bowl and gives me the sad puppy eyes when I say no thanks... like why don't you like ice cream anymore??? umm dear... I love icecream... but I don't like the way it looks on my butt... haha... so it continues... he is starting to get it... but we still do pizza night once a week... I just have 2 slices instead of 6... just keep pushing forward and they will get it eventually

MamaJess

I completely understand you and your frustrations. I am not asking anyone to change their habits on excercise or eating habits. However, they act like when I take a little time to work out for my health and happiness that I have kicked them in the groin or something. And When it comes to eating this week I have been measuring everything and when the family wanted something unhealthy I made it for them and I made something healthy for my self. They refuse to eat the things that are healthy but get pist when I choose to. Can we just send a linch mob after them? I work really hard to keep my family and my home running smoothly and when mommy wants something for herself everyone else gets pist at me. Is there a hunting season for ungreatful selfish family members who refuse to even try to understand? AHH, never mind. I only have a BB gun and a 22. Neither of which are good for hunting! GGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR:explode: :mad: :frown: :devil: :sad: