Afraid of food? Short vent.

bootyrubsandtacos

I've been keeping track of my calories for about two weeks now and I'm starting to feel a little stressed out. It's like I'm CONSTANTLY thinking about food even when I'm not hungry. I've had vivid dreams about binging. I used to be a pretty hardcore late night binge eater. I'm just starting to second guess everything I eat even when it's perfectly healthy and within my calorie limit. I've been working out a lot to and I just feel DRAINED. I think a lot of outside forces are adding to it, because I take care of my disabled mother and food was my escape. I guess I'm still getting used to not having it as crutch anymore

peraltapiano

You should definitely find something else you can do those late stressful nights then! A hobby, maybe writing and posting to a blog about it?

fkckakfk22

Heyy. Don't get stressed over that. Trust me, when I first started I was stressed the hell out. I kept telling myself okay I'm not supposed to eat this okay have to eat that and that really just stress me out a lot but now that I'm a couple weeks into it I feel less stressed and you know what to eat also it's not bad to have what you like here and there but just make sure to drink a lot of water and get enough sleep

MegaMooseEsq

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate! There is nothing wrong with taking things easier if you're stressing out. I spent several months logging my food before I started restricting calories - I was afraid that I'd get into exactly the fear of food you're talking about, so I just took it slow and made logging something I did for information, not judgment. After a while, it became pretty clear where I could cut back, so I started gradually making changes until I landed in a deficit. So much of the propoganda around weight loss is that it's this one time challenge you should try and get done fast, but if you want the weight to stay off, losing the weight is just the first step on a life long journey.

MommaGem2017

I'm so sorry you're in such a stressful position right now. I've been there and I can totally relate.

Are you incorporating any self-care for you into your days? Maybe you can get some assistance while you have some alone time or do something you enjoy?

fkckakfk22

fkckakfk22 wrote: »

Heyy. Don't get stressed over that. Trust me, when I first started I was stressed the hell out. I kept telling myself okay I'm not supposed to eat this okay have to eat that and that really just stress me out a lot but now that I'm a couple weeks into it I feel less stressed and you know what to eat also it's not bad to have what you like here and there but just make sure to drink a lot of water and get enough sleep

I also do some yoga and that distresses me and it makes me feel calm

CattOfTheGarage

First question in my mind if someone is having problems with food obsession, cravings, binges (or wanting to binge) is: are you eating enough?

Of course there are other possible reasons, but that's the first one I'd check. What is your height, weight, goal weight, and calorie allowance? Are you allowing extra calories for your exercise?

Hoshiko

If you go just slightly over your calories for the day, it's ok.
If you eat something that is not really that healthy but it fits in your calorie goal, it's ok.
If you need a rest day every now and then, it's ok.

It's awesome that you recognize that you used to use food for emotional reasons. Try to figure out other things you can do for yourself, because if you don't replace those habits with healthier ones that you enjoy it's going to be hard to stick with things for the long-term.

But mostly realize that it's a learning process. It sounds like you're doing pretty well under tough circumstances, so make sure you give yourself some credit as well. Don't burn yourself out.

BusyRaeNOTBusty

CattOfTheGarage wrote: »

First question in my mind if someone is having problems with food obsession, cravings, binges (or wanting to binge) is: are you eating enough?

Of course there are other possible reasons, but that's the first one I'd check. What is your height, weight, goal weight, and calorie allowance? Are you allowing extra calories for your exercise?

Yup. That's what I was going to ask. You could probably eat more, still lose weight at a reasonable pace and not have all these other issues.

sanfly

I've been diligently logging etc since the start of July (this time) and my first couple of weeks were pretty similar. It's kind of to be expected though right? You've made this big change, its a huge mental adjustment and a bit exhausting!

A couple of weeks in I realised that if I was going to be successful in finally hitting my goals this time was that I needed to start building habits that will see me through whether I am actively trying to lose or not, and that way if I do have a binge every once and a while, I'll be able to fall back into those good habits and hopefully not go backwards.

It will be different for everyone, but for me its things like prepping cut veges on the weekend so that I have them ready for lunches and dinners throughout the week, agreeing with myself that I'm not going to have takeaways/eat out unless I plan it the day before, and trying to be mindful when I am eating (even if its just celery sticks or popcorn) so that I'm not just stuffing my face without thinking about it. I also always leave a little room in my calorie allowance for an after dinner snack (usually a little bit of dark chocolate or a 75cal frozen yoghurt).

As mentioned above, you need to be really careful with your calorie allowance if you're exercising too - if you get to tired you're not going to do anything at all and that could derail everything! Fuel the machine!

bootyrubsandtacos

peraltapiano wrote: »

You should definitely find something else you can do those late stressful nights then! A hobby, maybe writing and posting to a blog about it?

I haven't binged in about month. I usually just listen to music or go to sleep early.

CattOfTheGarage wrote: »

First question in my mind if someone is having problems with food obsession, cravings, binges (or wanting to binge) is: are you eating enough?

Of course there are other possible reasons, but that's the first one I'd check. What is your height, weight, goal weight, and calorie allowance? Are you allowing extra calories for your exercise?

I think I am. I never let myself get super hungry. I don't feel deprived or anything. I just kind nitpick at every little thing I eat. 5'6, 350lbs, 200lbs (for now) 1500. I rarely reach 1500 though. More like 1300.

MommaGem2017 wrote: »

I'm so sorry you're in such a stressful position right now. I've been there and I can totally relate.

Are you incorporating any self-care for you into your days? Maybe you can get some assistance while you have some alone time or do something you enjoy?

Thanks I've just been working out. My mom doesn't require much help in the evening so I like to listen to music and chill out by myself.

fkckakfk22 wrote: »

Heyy. Don't get stressed over that. Trust me, when I first started I was stressed the hell out. I kept telling myself okay I'm not supposed to eat this okay have to eat that and that really just stress me out a lot but now that I'm a couple weeks into it I feel less stressed and you know what to eat also it's not bad to have what you like here and there but just make sure to drink a lot of water and get enough sleep

Hehehe thanks! it's nice to know I'm not alone. I drink nothing but water!

bootyrubsandtacos

sanfly wrote: »

I've been diligently logging etc since the start of July (this time) and my first couple of weeks were pretty similar. It's kind of to be expected though right? You've made this big change, its a huge mental adjustment and a bit exhausting!

A couple of weeks in I realised that if I was going to be successful in finally hitting my goals this time was that I needed to start building habits that will see me through whether I am actively trying to lose or not, and that way if I do have a binge every once and a while, I'll be able to fall back into those good habits and hopefully not go backwards.

It will be different for everyone, but for me its things like prepping cut veges on the weekend so that I have them ready for lunches and dinners throughout the week, agreeing with myself that I'm not going to have takeaways/eat out unless I plan it the day before, and trying to be mindful when I am eating (even if its just celery sticks or popcorn) so that I'm not just stuffing my face without thinking about it. I also always leave a little room in my calorie allowance for an after dinner snack (usually a little bit of dark chocolate or a 75cal frozen yoghurt).

As mentioned above, you need to be really careful with your calorie allowance if you're exercising too - if you get to tired you're not going to do anything at all and that could derail everything! Fuel the machine!

These are really great tips! Thanks! I don't really feel physically tired, because I can get through my workouts okay. It's mental for me. I'm still adjusting to this new lifestyle.

rheddmobile

Just wanted to say bless you, and I hope you feel better. Taking care of my dad when he was sick just wore me out, I feel for you. If you keep it up, it does get mentally easier as your new behaviors become habits, and you don't have to devote so much mental energy to them.

Adding some new healthy things you really enjoy to your life does help with the loss of your old ways of dealing with problems. I started learning from dance videos. If you can figure out a really delicious but low calorie treat, that helped me - in my case I have my husband make me lattes with almond milk and dark chocolate and cinnamon - thirty calories - but so good! Everyone's tastes are different but you can probably find something which would make you really happy.

eyer0ll

fkckakfk22 wrote: »

fkckakfk22 wrote: »

Heyy. Don't get stressed over that. Trust me, when I first started I was stressed the hell out. I kept telling myself okay I'm not supposed to eat this okay have to eat that and that really just stress me out a lot but now that I'm a couple weeks into it I feel less stressed and you know what to eat also it's not bad to have what you like here and there but just make sure to drink a lot of water and get enough sleep

I also do some yoga and that distresses me and it makes me feel calm

I think you're doing it wrong.

JeromeBarry1

@bootyrubsandtacos "I've been working out a lot to and I just feel DRAINED."

Do you eat any of your exercise calories?

lorrpb

It sounds like you are doing too much too fast. You are eating only 1300 although your goal is 1500. So eat an extra snack to get up to 1500. I'm 5'7" and much older than you and I lost 150 lbs eating about 1700 the whole time. You also sound like you jumped into intense exercise you weren't used to and not fueling that exercise with food. Scale back the exercise to about half of what you're now doing, then slowly ramp it back up over the next 3-6 months depending on what your body is able to do.

kshama2001

bootyrubsandtacos wrote: »

peraltapiano wrote: »

You should definitely find something else you can do those late stressful nights then! A hobby, maybe writing and posting to a blog about it?

I haven't binged in about month. I usually just listen to music or go to sleep early.

CattOfTheGarage wrote: »

First question in my mind if someone is having problems with food obsession, cravings, binges (or wanting to binge) is: are you eating enough?

Of course there are other possible reasons, but that's the first one I'd check. What is your height, weight, goal weight, and calorie allowance? Are you allowing extra calories for your exercise?

I think I am. I never let myself get super hungry. I don't feel deprived or anything. I just kind nitpick at every little thing I eat. 5'6, 350lbs, 200lbs (for now) 1500. I rarely reach 1500 though. More like 1300.

MommaGem2017 wrote: »

I'm so sorry you're in such a stressful position right now. I've been there and I can totally relate.

Are you incorporating any self-care for you into your days? Maybe you can get some assistance while you have some alone time or do something you enjoy?

Thanks I've just been working out. My mom doesn't require much help in the evening so I like to listen to music and chill out by myself.

fkckakfk22 wrote: »

Heyy. Don't get stressed over that. Trust me, when I first started I was stressed the hell out. I kept telling myself okay I'm not supposed to eat this okay have to eat that and that really just stress me out a lot but now that I'm a couple weeks into it I feel less stressed and you know what to eat also it's not bad to have what you like here and there but just make sure to drink a lot of water and get enough sleep

Hehehe thanks! it's nice to know I'm not alone. I drink nothing but water!

How'd you come up with 1500? When I plugged in your stats, I got 1920 calories per day to lose 2 pounds per week. (I used a birth year of 1987 cuz that's what was there the last time I ran numbers.) Two pounds per week may not feel like fast enough, but it is 104 pounds per year.

What percentage of the calories that you earned from exercise are you eating back?

bootyrubsandtacos

JeromeBarry1 wrote: »

@bootyrubsandtacos "I've been working out a lot to and I just feel DRAINED."

Do you eat any of your exercise calories?

I've been seeing this a lot around here and I don't even know what it means.

.

lorrpb wrote: »

It sounds like you are doing too much too fast. You are eating only 1300 although your goal is 1500. So eat an extra snack to get up to 1500. I'm 5'7" and much older than you and I lost 150 lbs eating about 1700 the whole time. You also sound like you jumped into intense exercise you weren't used to and not fueling that exercise with food. Scale back the exercise to about half of what you're now doing, then slowly ramp it back up over the next 3-6 months depending on what your body is able to do.

I just workout for 30 mins a day. I usually do a fitness blender video. It's just that taking care of my mother is very physically demanding and I'm pretty heavy so....... I could dial down the workouts to like 4 times a week.

How'd you come up with 1500? When I plugged in your stats, I got 1920 calories per day to lose 2 pounds per week. (I used a birth year of 1987 cuz that's what was there the last time I ran numbers.) Two pounds per week may not feel like fast enough, but it is 104 pounds per year.

What percentage of the calories that you earned from exercise are you eating back?

It just seemed like a reasonable amount to me. I have this condition called intracranial hypertension and I'm on pretty heavy duty diuretics for it . My dr told me if I lost a substantial amount of weight it would go into remission. That's why I feel a sense of urgency to get the weight off.

bootyrubsandtacos

rheddmobile wrote: »

Just wanted to say bless you, and I hope you feel better. Taking care of my dad when he was sick just wore me out, I feel for you. If you keep it up, it does get mentally easier as your new behaviors become habits, and you don't have to devote so much mental energy to them.

Adding some new healthy things you really enjoy to your life does help with the loss of your old ways of dealing with problems. I started learning from dance videos. If you can figure out a really delicious but low calorie treat, that helped me - in my case I have my husband make me lattes with almond milk and dark chocolate and cinnamon - thirty calories - but so good! Everyone's tastes are different but you can probably find something which would make you really happy.

Thanks! I have two actually. I like having a half a cup of Greek yogurt with Splenda, teaspoon of peanut butter and some frozen raspberries after dinner. I do the same mix with a half a cup of ricotta cheese.

CattOfTheGarage

I think you're really not eating enough. At your weight, you need a lot of calories to stay the same weight, so you can lose weight at a good rate while eating quite a lot more than you do - and I would strongly advise you to do that.

It's a common mistake to think that faster is better, and our society is swimming in bad dietary advice, including unrealistic expectations for how fast you can lose weight, and unreasonable calorie goals.

But losing weight too fast can cause health problems (deficiencies, hair loss and many more) and also chronic hunger, tiredness, binge eating and burnout. It can also make you eat more without realising it, as chronic hunger makes every portion look smaller. I reckon undereating is one of the main things that causes people to give up on weight loss. Your body needs enough food.

Instead of just estimating a number of calories, use the myfitnesspal goals wizard to work out a calorie allowance that is appropriate for you. Enter you height, weight, age, activity level and rate of loss (2lb a week would be fine for you) and stick to the goal it gives you. It will seem high to you, but trust the process, it's well-proven.

"Eat back exercise" means that your enter your exercise on your myfitnesspal diary and you make sure to eat the extra calories it gives you. Extra work done means you need extra energy. Be careful not to overestimate your workouts - some people only eat a percentage of exercise calories back to avoid this - but you do need to eat some.

Good luck with this. I hope you take this on board - so many people push back against this advice, but it really is important. Successful weight loss is not about extremes, it's about slow and steady, persistent and thorough, moderate and consistent.